A/N: I'm in such a Cargan mood. I blame my story, "GTS," for that. This story is going to be pretty silly. Just, you know, a heads up.

Disclaimer: This is only for entertainment purposes.

Nurse Logan

The sound of squeaking wheels echoed through the halls of Apartment 2J as Mrs. Knight and Katie each rolled a suitcase into the living room. Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan were all seated on the orange couch. There was an unspoken understanding between Kendall, James, Katie, and Mrs. Knight as the four of them nodded at each other.

"Boys, Katie and I are going on a day trip that may or may not last longer than a day," Mrs. Knight announced.

Logan wrinkled his forehead out of confusion. May or may not last longer than a day. What was that supposed to mean? Logan also found it strange how Mrs. Knight was being incredibly vague about their alleged "day trip." He didn't even know where they were going.

"Do you really need to take all that?" Logan asked, gesturing towards their luggage with one of his hands.

"We're girls!" Katie said somewhat defensively. "You wouldn't understand. You're a guy."

Logan got the distinct impression that wherever Mrs. Knight and Katie were going, they couldn't get away from here fast enough. Why was that exactly? What was here that could possibly be so horrible?

"Welp, we should probably hit the road," Mrs. Knight said to her daughter.

Katie didn't need to be told twice. She was already out the door. As for Mrs. Knight, she made it as far as the doorway. Then, she stopped, turned back around, and slapped her forehead suspiciously.

"I almost forgot; Carlos is getting his wisdom teeth removed today, so I need you to take care of him," Mrs. Knight stated.

"I don't need a babysitter," Carlos grumbled.

Logan looked from Mrs. Knight to Kendall, and then to James. As much as Logan wanted to believe that Mrs. Knight was talking to the three of them, her eyes only seemed to be trained on him. There was only one way of knowing for sure.

"By 'you,' you do mean me, Kendall, and James, right?" Logan inquired.

Kendall stood up from the couch, and turned to face Logan. He fished in his pocket for a couple of moments before he pulled out a pair of hockey game tickets. There was a feeling of dread bubbling in the pit of Logan's stomach as he couldn't help but notice how Kendall was only holding two tickets.

"As tempting as that sounds, I'm going to see a hockey game tonight," Kendall said, faking being bummed out.

James rose from the couch quicker than Logan's ever seen him do that before. He had a hunch he knew what was about to happen next.

"Ooh! Hockey! Can I come?" James asked.

"Sure!" Kendall answered.

Carlos was the only one who remained seated on the couch as Logan stood up from the sofa as well.

"May I come too?" Logan questioned, his tone of voice verging on desperation.

Kendall closed the short distance between him and Logan, and placed a hand on his shoulder. He gave his best friend what would have been a look of sympathy were it not for the triumphant smirk tugging at his lips.

"Sorry, buddy. I've only got two tickets. Maybe next time though," Kendall responded.

"Well, I'll just buy one when we get there," Logan replied.

"Yeah…no you won't. They're all sold out," James said.

Logan had the most incredulous look on his face as he looked back and forth from James to Kendall hoping against hope that they were just messing with him. Deep down though, Logan knew that they weren't.

"No fair!" Logan whined. "Everyone has plans but me!"

"That's the idea," Kendall commented.

It was at that moment that it dawned on Logan. All the pieces of the puzzle seemed to fall into place. He was the last person to find out about Carlos having to go get his wisdom teeth pulled. Mrs. Knight and Katie suddenly going on a "day trip." Kendall and James having tickets to a sold-out hockey game. This was a set-up!

"Mama Knight," Logan whined. "Your son won't help me watch Carlos!"

"I don't blame him. Bye now!" Mrs. Knight said, overly cheerful, and all too quick to get the heck out of dodge.

Kendall consulted one of the tickets in his hand. He then glanced up at the clock hanging on the wall. He and James then started to make their way towards the front door as well. Logan darted out in front of them, blocking the only exit out of the apartment…that is unless Kendall and James wanted to jump out of a second story window, which Logan wouldn't put it past them.

"Oh no you don't! Where do you think you're going?" Logan demanded.

James' words were stuck in his throat. Panicked, he turned to Kendall. He was their leader. Kendall always knew what to say or do. He always had the answers. He always knew a solution. However, Kendall sputtered nonsensical words as he tried to think up a response on the drop of a dime.

"To the hockey game, duh!" James answered. "We want to make sure we get good seats."

"You already have your seat tickets!" Logan exclaimed.

James fell silent. Inwardly, he was chastising himself for his sorry excuse of an answer. Looking back, he should have just let Kendall handle it. James was sure that no matter what Kendall came up with, it would have better than what James had said.

Meanwhile, Carlos was all by his lonesome on the orange sofa in the living room. He had his arms folded over his chest. Not that anyone seemed to notice, but he was pouting. For the life of him, he couldn't figure out why nobody wanted to be with him after he got his wisdom teeth removed. Carlos couldn't bring himself to look at Kendall, James, or Logan right now.

"Yeah, well, L.A. traffic…" Kendall trailed off before he and James brushed past Logan, nearly bowling him over in the process, and hightailed it out of 2J.

"Unbelievable!" Logan muttered under his breath.

XXXXX

Logan had pulled into the parking lot at The Palm Woods. No sooner had he turned off the ignition did Carlos start running his fingers through Logan's hair, strangely fascinated. The dentist had given Carlos laughing gas, and as a result, he wasn't currently experiencing any pain. However, he was a bit loopy…even for Carlos.

"Your hair's so spiky!" Carlos commented. He then grabbed Logan's arm with his free hand, and shook him like a rag doll. "Ooh! You know what your hair reminds me of? Sonic the Hedgehog!"

"Will you knock that off?" Logan asked, annoyed. He swatted Carlos' hand away from his head. "You'll rune my hair."

Carlos stopped what he was doing, carefully surveyed Logan for a fleeting moment, tilted his head back, and started cackling like a hyena. Logan wasn't sure what to make of Carlos' odd behavior.

"You say 'ruin' funny. You say it like 'rune.' Did you know that?" Carlos asked, poking Logan unnecessarily and endlessly with his finger.

"I do not!" Logan protested.

"Yeah huh! Say it again!"

"It."

Logan's smirk was wiped clean off his face when Carlos clenched one of his hands into a fist and socked Logan in the shoulder in a not-so-playful way.

"Dude!" Logan cried out, massaging his now sore shoulder with his hand.

"That's what you get for being such a smart-alec. Now say 'ruin' again," Carlos ordered.

"What? No!"

"But I just got my wisdom teeth removed!"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"You want me to be happy, don't you? Well you not doing what I want you to do doesn't make me very happy…"

Logan buried his face in his hands and groaned loudly. As much as he didn't want to give into Carlos' demands; he got his way far too often; Logan did want Carlos to drop it. The way Logan saw it, he stood a better chance of Carlos dropping it if he did what Carlos asked.

"Rune," Logan said begrudgingly.

With one hand, Carlos clutched his side since he found himself in stitches. With his other hand, he slapped his knee. Carlos was back to laughing obnoxiously much to Logan's chagrin. It was readily apparent that Carlos was not laughing with Logan. The funny thing about that was in order for that to be true, Logan would need to be laughing too, and he clearly wasn't.

"See? I told you!" Carlos remarked, before resuming cracking up.

XXXXX

Logan had his arms securely wrapped around Carlos' waist as he was attempting to get him up to 2J. The thing was Logan was doing all the work, and it was a lot of work; Carlos wasn't cooperating one bit, instead he was practically like dead weight that Logan was trying to lug around. Other residents were giving the pair weird looks for it looked like Logan was hugging Carlos.

"Nothing to see here. Carry on," Logan said, addressing all the spectators.

Much to Logan's dismay, they all continued to watch them regardless. As a matter of fact, Logan trying to get them to stop paying attention to them caused them to proceed paying attention to them. It even resulted in people who hadn't been watching to start.

"Come on, Carlos. Help me out here," Logan told Carlos in a strained voice.

If Logan didn't know any better, Carlos was digging his heels in causing even more resistance. His suspicions were confirmed by what Carlos said next.

"I don't wanna!" Carlos whined.

"Fine!" Logan exclaimed, letting go of Carlos. The shorter boy unceremoniously fell to the carpeted floor of the lobby.

Logan was nearly at wits' end with Carlos. He started to head towards the elevator watching Carlos be darned. He made it halfway there before Carlos spoke up.

"Where are you going? Don't leave me!" Carlos whimpered.

Carlos sounded truly pitiful. The laughing gas was starting to wear off. The good news was that Carlos was no longer acting like he was high. The bad news was that Carlos was no longer acting like he was high. Now he was extraordinarily lazy and it was only a matter of time before Carlos was in tremendous pain.

Almost on cue, Carlos started to moan incessantly. The other residents stared at Logan, giving him knowing looks. They were surprised that he would just stand there doing nothing while his friend was now writhing on the floor, moaning.

"Logie, give me a ride!" Carlos begged.

Logan and Carlos' audience started whispering amongst themselves after Carlos' request. The sound of snickering could be heard coming from several different people. Logan shook his head. He couldn't believe how dirty some of these people's minds were.

"He didn't mean it like that!" Logan exclaimed. Then, he turned to face Carlos. "You didn't mean it like that, did you?"

"I didn't mean what like that?" Carlos asked, befuddled.

"Forget it."

Logan snatched up one of Carlos' ankles. The spectators had left Logan in a foul mood. He refused to give Carlos a ride. Logan didn't care if Carlos did just have a major operation. He wasn't going to be caught dead giving Carlos a piggyback ride when there was an audience! The idea of carrying Carlos bridal style was even worse! The thought alone was enough to make Logan shudder. Instead, Logan dragged Carlos by the ankle through the lobby.

XXXXX

Carlos' dentist had given Logan a list of things that he needed to do to make sure Carlos' didn't get an infection. One of the things Logan had to do was flush Carlos' gums with salt water. Another thing Logan had to do was change the gauze in Carlos' mouth. Yet another thing Logan was in charge of doing was massaging Carlos' gums. Lastly, the dentist had prescribed Carlos some Vicodin. He was allowed to take one to two pills every six hours.

Carlos' moans seemed to crescendo. He was currently rolling back and forth on the orange sofa in the living room. Logan wanted to do nothing more than plug his ears so he wouldn't have to listen to the hideous noise anymore, but unfortunately, he needed both hands as he was in the process of filling a syringe with salt water to flush Carlos' gums.

Logan walked into the living room, syringe in tow. However, having the instrument in plain sight was a mistake. As soon as Carlos saw it, his body became tense and rigid. He shrank back from Logan and more importantly, the syringe. He wasn't squeamish when it came to blood like Kendall. He wasn't scared of needles like James. However, Carlos was wary of the syringe.

"Carlos, will you open your mouth for me?" Logan asked politely.

Carlos shook his head in response, firmly pressing his lips together. Logan heaved a great sigh. He should've known it wouldn't be so easy.

"It's just water!" Logan lied.

"Liar! I saw you in the kitchen pouring salt into the syringe!" Carlos countered.

Words percolated on Logan's lips, but he remained silent. His hand clenched around the syringe tightly as he left the living room. It was back to the drawing board. He would have to come up with something a bit more clever. Luckily, he was a genius.

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Logan had learned his lesson the last time. Instead of making the concoction in the kitchen where Carlos could see him, Logan went to the bathroom. This time, Logan added an extra ingredient; red food coloring. After incorporating all the ingredients, the liquid resembled punch, and Carlos loved punch.

Logan returned to a still moaning Carlos in the living room. He hadn't left the couch while Logan was gone. The pain was excruciating to Carlos. It was unbearable. He didn't remember ever being in this much pain before.

Logan wasn't foolish enough to fill a syringe with the "punch." Instead, he filled a red plastic cup up.

"Hey buddy, do you want some punch?" Logan asked, holding out the cup.

Carlos' eyes lit up with excitement. He eagerly took the beverage from Logan. He raised the cup to his mouth, and took a nice big swig of it. As soon as the liquid touched his taste buds, Carlos knew that something was wrong; he had been duped.

Carlos decided to get revenge on Logan for tricking him. As luck would have it, Logan had taken a seat on the couch next to a prone Carlos. Him being in the vicinity was crucial to what Carlos had in mind. He spit the "punch" in Logan's face.

Logan tried to keep his face carefully blank. He wiped his face with the sleeve of his t-shirt. He grabbed a notepad and pencil from the top of the coffee table.

"Good enough," Logan said aloud as he checked the box next to 'Flush gums with salt water.'

XXXXX

Logan massaged his temples with his fingers. Carlos was starting to give him a headache. He was actually considering taking some of Carlos' Vicodin. Logan realized that Carlos was in pain, but did he need to be so…vocal…about it? If he wasn't moaning, Carlos was complaining about how much pain he was in, and frankly, it was driving Logan up the wall, and that's saying something too because Logan once upon a time considered himself a fairly patient person.

"Carlos, I need to change your gauze," Logan announced.

Carlos leapt up off the couch suddenly, and sprinted to the kitchen. Logan, though shocked at first, gave chase. Soon, the two boys were running circles around the kitchen table.

"Wait, I'm smart," Logan said to himself.

They both had been running clockwise. Logan changed direction and ran counter-clockwise. Carlos realized this too little too late. He soon found himself in Logan's clutches. Logan had a firm grip on Carlos' shoulders. However, there was something Logan failed to take into consideration. If he was using both of his hands to hold Carlos, how was he going to change his gauze?

As Logan stopped to ponder his dilemma, Carlos capitalized on Logan's distraction, squirming free. That was all the taller boy needed to be brought back to reality. He quickly tackled Carlos to the floor. He sat on Carlos' chest, pinning his arms down as well.

"Open your mouth!" Logan commanded, holding a gauze pad in each of his hands.

Carlos clenched his jaw. He tried to pay no mind to the pain that caused him. He needed to focus on one battle at a time, and right now, all that mattered was not letting Logan change the gauze.

Logan wasn't going to be denied though. He took his hands and physically tried to pry Carlos' mouth open. It was almost like Logan was on a mechanical bull with Carlos bucking underneath him.

After much effort, Logan finally managed to get Carlos' mouth open. He immediately stuck his fingers in Carlos' mouth. The shorter boy would get the last laugh though as he swirled his tongue around Logan's fingers, causing him to recoil in disgust.

"Did you just lick my fingers?" Logan asked, incredulous.

"That's what you get for not staying out of my mouth!" Carlos retorted.

"I just want to change your gauze!"

"Tch. Fine! Let me up!"

Though Logan was skeptical, he reluctantly did what Carlos asked. He watched Carlos uneasily. For all he knew, this was all part of some shtick he was trying to pull. He was pleasantly surprised when Carlos reached into his mouth and pulled out the bloodied gauze. He grabbed Logan's hand, and deposited the saturated material in the palm of his hand causing Logan to wrinkle his face. In his mind, Logan checked off the box next to 'Change the gauze.'

XXXXX

Carlos and Logan both found themselves back on the living room couch. The two boys were sitting next to each other. Logan was in the middle of rubbing circles in Carlos' cheeks with his fingers.

It wouldn't be so bad if Carlos wasn't making the most bizarre of sounds while Logan was doing so. He was letting out moans of satisfaction. Logan couldn't help but think that was how Carlos sounded when he was having an orgasm. Not that he knew from personal experience or anything…

Unfortunately, Carlos' moans weren't the only things Logan had to contend with. What really made this particular task uncomfortable for Logan was Carlos' rather unnecessary…commentary.

"Oh yes!" Carlos said blissfully. "Right there! Harder, Logan! Harder!"

Logan had made up his mind. He was going to murder Kendall and James the moment they step foot in Apartment 2J for ditching him like they did. At least if they had all been doing this together, they could delegate tasks or something so one person didn't have to do everything!

Logan's eyes bugged out when he saw what Carlos started to do next. Not only were Carlos' eyelids fluttering, but in addition, he was moving his face in conjunction with Logan's massaging.

"Could you not do that?" Logan asked, beyond creeped out.

"Do what?" Carlos replied innocently.

"Are you kidding me?"

Logan then proceeded to mimic all of Carlos' bizarre actions from the orgasmic moans to the ambiguously sounding commentary and everything in between. Carlos clamped a hand over his mouth to keep himself from laughing out loud.

"That's it!" Logan exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. "I'm done!"

Logan stood up from the couch in a huff and started to make his way to his bedroom. Carlos threw himself off the piece of furniture and onto the floor. He wrapped his arms around Logan's lower legs.

"Really?" Logan remarked as he looked down at Carlos.

"I'm sorry!" Carlos practically screamed at Logan. "It's just it felt so good! Please don't stop!"

Logan groaned rather obnoxiously. It wasn't long before the two had resumed their previous positions on the couch. Logan always had a hard time saying, "No," to Carlos, and now was no exception.

XXXXX

Logan was thanking his lucky stars that Carlos was sleeping. He preferred him unconscious to Carlos being awake and moaning and just all around annoying. Even though it had only been hours since Carlos had his wisdom teeth pulled, to Logan, it felt like it's been days, weeks even.

His cell phone vibrated. Logan grabbed it and saw that Kendall had sent him a text message.

Gonna c a movie or 2 w/ James.

At first, Logan felt like chucking his phone at the wall. Then, he realized that it was Kendall and James that he really wanted to chuck at the wall. Granted that would be much more difficult, but that was beside the point.

The point was that Kendall and James were clearly doing everything to avoid coming back to the apartment. They didn't want to help take care of their best friend. Logan suddenly remembered that there was a midnight premiere of the latest comic book movie. According to Logan's math, that meant that Kendall and James wouldn't be back until 2 or 3 in the morning.

Even though Mrs. Knight had given the boys a curfew of 10 o'clock, she wasn't here right now. Logan was hardly in any position to enforce a curfew. What was he going to do? Ground Kendall and James for violating curfew? He was hardly in any position to do that either.

Carlos had just taken a couple of Vicodin, and one of the side effects of the drug was drowsiness. Logan let out a huge yawn. Carlos wasn't the only one who was exhausted by the day's events.

Only Logan couldn't sleep. Carlos had always snored in his sleep, but his getting his wisdom teeth seemed to make him snore even louder. It sounded like some feral animal was savagely growling in the next room.

At first, Logan tried a mind over matter approach. As long as he pretended like he didn't hear Carlos snoring, he wouldn't. A couple seconds of that was all it took for Logan to realize that plan wasn't going to work.

Next, Logan buried his head underneath his pillow trying to drown out Carlos' snoring. This too was no dice. Unless it was Logan's imagination playing cruel tricks on him, if anything it sounded as though Carlos' snoring had intensified in volume. Even though it was an absurd idea, Logan thought it was due to him burying his head under a pillow, and rested his head on top of his pillow rather than burying it underneath one.

Logan decided that enough was enough. He angrily got out of bed, and stormed into the bedroom Carlos shared with James. Logan felt a sudden swell of sympathy for James. After all, he had to deal with this every night having Carlos as his roommate. Then Logan remembered how James ditched him, and just like that, Logan didn't feel sympathy towards James anymore.

Logan jerked Carlos' pillow out from underneath his head. He had a hopeful look on his face as he waited for Carlos to wake up. A scowl formed on his face when Carlos continued to snore as loud as ever.

Logan wasn't done yet though. Far from it. He proceeded to relentlessly smack Carlos in the head with his very own pillow. Carlos groaned as he rolled over onto his side, but Logan wasn't going to let Carlos get off so easily. He continued his onslaught.

Carlos groggily reached out with his hands. After grabbing nothing but air, he finally managed to make contact with Logan's face. After the initial contact, Carlos continued to feel Logan's face just to make sure what it was. Even after Logan stopped whacking Carlos with a pillow, Carlos' hands continued to roam over Logan's face.

"You can stop groping my face now!" Logan remarked bitterly.

Logan knew that Carlos was awake when he started giggling. In spite of that, he continued to "grope" Logan's face. The brainiac wasn't going to stand for much more of that, and swatted Carlos' hands away.

Carlos rolled back over on his back as he blinked his eyes open. He realized for the first time that Logan had turned the light on in the room. The first thing he saw was Logan making a hasty retreat apparently content with the fact that Carlos was no longer snoring.

"Logan, wait!" Carlos called out.

Logan stopped in the doorway, and turned on his heels to face Carlos.

"Thanks! You know, for taking care of me today!" Carlos said sincerely. "It wasn't so bad, was it?"

"Goodnight, Carlos," Logan said, before heading off to his own bedroom secretly hoping he would fall asleep before Carlos started snoring again.

The End

A/N: Holy cow! This ended up being really long by my standards! It started a twelfth page in my word processor program! Usually, my stories/chapter only end up being five to six pages long. Oh, and virtual fish sticks to whoever can guess what served as inspiration for this fic.