Story Title: Why?
Story Type: Slash
Characters: Chris Sabin, Alex Shelley
Disclaimer: They're not mine; trust me on this, peeps. If they were, I wouldn't need to write this 'cause I'd be filming it everyday -and sharing it with you guys. Since that hasn't happened yet, you can guess they belong to themselves/TNA
Warnings: Slash, language
A/N: This is just an idea that popped into my head one day while I was writing something else. Enjoy, peeps.
"Do you ever wonder why you always end up here?"
"What do you mean?" Alex asked, looking at his best friend curiously.
They were sitting in Chris's living room, watching Zombieland for the twentieth time, splitting a six pack and some pizza. Not a bad way to spend a Saturday night in Alex's estimation.
"Well, whenever you get pissed at whoever your current girlfriend is, you come over here," Chris explained. "Or whenever you're fighting with them; instead of trying to fix the problem or even figure out why they were pissed, you just come over here and bitch about it. Or, hell, even when it's something else entirely that has you pissed or upset, you come over."
Alex frowned; he'd never thought about it, but Chris was right, he did spend a lot of time here. More then one girlfriend had said to him that they didn't appreciate the way he always ran to Chris the minute there was a fight. His last girlfriend, Angel, had told him that the only relationship he was capable of having was with Chris, and that she was tired of competing against him for Alex's attention. Alex had written it off as some kind of girl weirdness; Chris was his best friend, of course he wanted to talk to him when something was up.
"Hey, are you saying you don't want me over here?" Alex joked, but it sounded oddly flat to him.
"Of course not, jack ass," Chris answered, rolling his eyes and kicking Alex's leg. Alex smiled, feeling more relieved then he'd like to admit. "All I'm asking is if you ever wondered why I'm the one you always come running to whenever something goes to hell."
"Well, you're my best friend," Alex said, a little weakly. For some reason, this conversation was making him nervous. He could feel the edges of some new idea forming in his mind, and Alex was almost positive that whatever that idea was, it was going to completely change everything and he was fighting against it as if his life depended on it.
"Look, how long have we been friends for?" Chris asked quietly, pausing the movie and turning to look at Alex. There was something new in his eyes as he looked at Alex -or, at least, Alex tried to fool himself into thinking it was new. But, really, it was just a clearer, sharper version of the way Chris looked at him everyday; like Chris had gotten tired of playing around and was letting Alex see what he had always known was there. And now there was no way Alex could lie to himself any more.
"Nine years or so," Alex said casually, as if this was the kind of thing they talked about all the time. His heart was beating a mile a minute, though, and he had the overwhelming urge to crack a joke or run and hide, anything to stop this. But he didn't; he couldn't even stop looking at Chris, never mind run in the opposite direction.
"And in those nine years, how many girlfriends have you had?" Chris questioned, his voice steady.
"Uh," Alex stalled, trying to do some quick math in his head. To be honest, he couldn't remember how many it had been, exactly; he had run through a lot of them, though, especially in the last year or so. For some reason, none of them had meant anything more to Alex then a temporary diversion and were just as memorable as a trip to McDonald's when he was bored. "Like, ten. Maybe. Or twelve, but definitely not more then that."
"I have a better question for you," Chris went on as if Alex hadn't said anything at all. "How many girlfriends have I had since we've met?"
Alex stared at him for a minute before glancing away. That one was easier to answer; Chris had a girlfriend when they had first met and they had broken up soon after. Besides that one, Alex could only remember one or two others, and none of those had been recent.
"Did you ever ask yourself why the more available I am, the more girls you seem to go through?" Chris continued, and now there was a note of anger in Chris's voice. Which completely shocked Alex; Chris was the most laid back person he knew and he could count on one hand the number of times he had ever heard Chris pissed off.
"Or why, in nine years, we've managed to get closer then most people do in twenty? Or, fuck, 'Lex, why we're comfortable being so affectionate to each other? Because I know for a fact if Jay or Petey touched me as much as you do, I'd be freaked out."
"I don't – you-" Alex stammered, completely losing his cool. His heart felt like it was pounding it's way through his chest and he had a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. This was what he had been running from for years, this was the idea that he had been trying to ignore; not only the knowledge that he was in love with a guy, but that he was in love with his best friend.
He knew -with the same part of him that had looked at Chris when they first met and known that he would change his life- that if he did this, if he followed what he wanted, that he would be happy. Stupidly, disgustingly happy and it terrified him, because when it ended -and it would, everything ended sooner or later- he didn't know if he would be able to survive it.
"I'll always be your friend, 'Lex, no matter what happens," Chris said, and the anger was gone and there was only a tired kind of resignation there. "But if there's no chance of us being anything else, you need to tell me. I can't do this any more; I can't pretend that I only love you as a friend. I want you with me, 'Lex, and you need to figure out what you want. I need to know if I should try to get over you.
"I'll always be your friend," Chris repeated, standing up. "Nothing will ever change that, but you need to decide this."
He stopped in front of Alex and, after hesitating for a second, he leaned down and gave Alex a quick kiss. It only lasted for a few seconds but for Alex, it changed everything.
After Chris pulled away from him, he gave Alex a sad smile and walked down the hall to his room.
Alex sat on the couch, stunned. He could hear Chris's footsteps going down the hall and he fought the urge to chase after him and beg him not to do this, not to make him decide this.
He didn't know what to do, what to say to make this better, so they could go back to the way things had always been between them.
But, really, when he actually sat down and thought about it instead of ignoring it and hoping it would go away, when he thought about it, weren't they already dating? Alex sat up straighter, thinking about the way they acted with each other, around each other.
They were around each other all the time; and when they weren't, when Alex was with one of his girlfriends or his family or anyone else, he always ended up thinking of Chris. And, inevitably, he would call or text him, and end up completely ignoring whoever he was with.
There was no one who Alex loved more, either; and as uncomfortable and bitchy as that thought made him feel, he was sure it was true. He had never said it to Chris, or even to himself until now, because that would make it true, would make it real and that meant dealing with it, and that had never been something Alex was good at.
When he really thought about it, Alex realized that they had been dating, and for years. Except for sex -and while the thought of sex with Chris did make him a little nervous, it also made his dick hard; he remembered the barely there kiss Chris had given him and felt even more eager then he had been a second ago- they had already done everything together.
Suddenly, Alex didn't want to sit there any more. He stood up, and after rearranging his erection so he was at least a little more comfortable, he went down the hall.
He paused outside of Chris's room; the door was open and Alex could see Chris laying down on the bed, his eyes closed and his hands folded against his chest. This was his last chance; once he went in that room, everything would change and for the rest of his life. Alex knew if he didn't go in there, if he just left or even if he went in the extra bedroom, Chris would never bring this up again.
Chris opened his eyes and turned his head, staring right at Alex. And as he looked at Chris, Alex knew that what he wanted was what Chris wanted. But could he take that final step? Could he swallow all his fear, all the doubt and let himself believe that, maybe, this one time, there would be a happy ending?
Taking a deep breath, he stepped into the bedroom and closed the door behind him.