Shades of Grey Suit You

You swore to yourself, and you forgot what he looks like.

Petunia knows, she knows and she will never let you forget it

that awful boy

Sidelong, he colours in sallow pink, and Oh, Severus.

You forgot what he looks like, repentant before you

I didn't mean it, please, I'm sorry

James Potter has made you deaf.

I don't want to hear it.

Sister's mouth, cruel and mocking.

-fancies you! Fancies you! The awful boy fancies you!

Doesn't he have green eyes? James? You should remember, remember the bow of his lips.

Severus. Severus has black eyes.

I don't love you anymore

He is broken, breaking and shattering against you, holding you to hold him up

Liar he hisses, he sobs, he shakes, Lily, you're a liar.

You can't bring yourself to protest.

James holds you to him for safe-keeping.

Love him. I love him. Him.

It's not a lie anymore, and somehow that's worse.

There are whys, over and over, and they span the gap between you two.

You are seventeen, and old, old souls.

It was all for you, can't you see?

His eyes are desperate, but you forgot what he looks like.

James catches the snitch.

When they are fourteen, and holding hands, Petunia is jealous.

awful boy

You swore

And you-

forgot what he looks like, the last time you see him.

Come to the wedding. I want you to come to the wedding.

His hands are empty, and his eyes are black.

winces when you catch his forearm softly, and Oh, Severus.

Fifteen, and please he breathes against your neck, please Lily

Arching, your hands are cool on his skin

Oh, Severus.

You take him, all heat, and let your nails pierce him for good measure

Your own please a moan, and you know you'll never forget what he looks like.

James' hand is over your belly, and summer is nearly here.

I love him.

You swore to yourself you'd forget what he looks like.

Lily, you're a liar.