A/N: So I just recently finished reading Delirium by Lauren Oliver. :) SUCH a good book! I don't know why I liked it so much, but I did. This just sorta came to me and I felt like writing it down. I guess if I was in her place, it would be what I want to say to them. I don't know when this takes place really. I guess I sort of imagine her getting caught in like, the third book or something, and this is what she says to them...after all this time, she finally has the guts to speak her mind. Anyway, I hope you like it, and if you haven't read the book, READ IT!
Disclaimer: Whyy, hellooo old friend. :P Haven't seen you in a while...fictionpress doesn't need you, that's why. Still haven't changed though. This book isn't mine.
— All The Way —
(Lena Speaks Out)
"If you love controlling us so much," I started, my voice on the verge of trembling as I tried to keep it as even as possible. I emphasized that one specific word they all hated so much—no, were so terrified of—with as much spite I can muster as I spat out each word. "Why don't you go all the way?"
The guard who seemed to be in charge blinked, his blank veil almost fading away for a second, before his features shifted into the same cold, emotionless mask as before. "And by that you mean...?"
He had a certain tease to his voice even though nothing about his expression was laughing.
I felt myself getting even angrier at him for trying to mock me, trying to fire up my emotions—which was working, of course. I felt my feet taking a step forward without me even realizing it, before I was yanked back again by the guards on either side of me. Their strong hands gripped my arms tighter and rougher.
"Why stop at a cure for love?" I thought, for a split second, that I saw the briefest of grimaces on the guard's face at the word, but he was so composed and emotionless the next second that I felt as if it was never there in the first place. "Why not invent a 'cure' where you can take away everything from us? A cure where you can completely get rid of our minds and thoughts? And if that's not enough, then take away our brains to do it! Take away our hearts, so we won't feel. Take away our souls so we won't have any emotions or thoughts about love—"
"That's quite enough," The guard interrupted me sharply. His eyes were narrowed and I saw the same thing that was on every other guard's eyes whenever the topic came up—the thing that I had yet to notice until only a couple of months ago—fear. They were all scared of it. They were terrified of love. "I don't think you are in any position to disobey me—"
But I can't stop. Because the thing that is in my eyes, seizing me and engulfing me so strongly, isn't fear. It's determination. It's strength. It's love.
"Take away our minds, our hearts, everything about us so we won't be able to defy you. You won't have to worry about us breaking the rules! You could have all the power in the world because you took away everything we have. You've stripped us from everything we've ever known. We will be under your absolute control. That's what you want, isn't it? Power? Control?—"
The guard's mask had finally shattered and what was left of him was an angry, frazzled looking face. "Shut up! Shut her up!"
The guards holding me back snaked out their arms to try and clamp my mouth shut, but I somehow manage to avoid it long enough to finish what I want to say. My voice was already raised now—it was way past raised, it was full-on yelling. I didn't care. It didn't waver. It was loud, but strong.
I was strong and firm.
"We will be a bunch of creatures marching around the city who will have no purpose but to follow your commands! It's the same thing! What I wonder, is why you don't just kill us all and create a new army of race entirely? Race that will be absolute perfection! Robots! Surely it's much easier to control a group of creatures who aren't living than a group who are—"
One of the guards manage to stop my rant by kicking my leg really hard, causing me to tumble and fall onto the ground. But I don't groan or feel the pain at all. I've lost that feeling entirely. Because at this moment, I didn't fall.
I stopped falling the moment I decided to resist.
I've been rising ever since.
The guard stares me down with angry, beady eyes, probably thinking I was finally finished talking.
But I wasn't. I was able to get out one last thing before they slapped their hands over my mouth to shut me up. "Because that's all we'll be when you take away our freedom—our choices, our control, our lives, our souls...it's the same thing...as being dead."
The word seemed to shock everyone into silence, and it felt like years until someone was able to react. Everyone was frozen in their spots and all I could do was stare at the guard with my strong, unwavering expression. It seemed to have been the loudest sound I have ever made when the last word escaped from my mouth as a yell.
For a moment, I thought I had actually achieved something. I thought, by their hesitant reactions, the guards would think twice about putting me down in the Crypts.
But then the head guard blinked and raised his hands to my captors, waving me off.
And not only did the guard on my left strike me on the head really hard with his stick, he also pulled me back onto my feet and forced me to walk on my injured legs by myself all the way to the Crypts. But the cruelty of these people didn't surprise me.
No. What surprised me was the expression that crossed over the head guard's face that I knew I didn't imagine even if it was brief. It was too real to be imaginary.
For the tiniest and quickest of seconds, the head guard—a guard with a very high and important position in this government; someone who knows and respects and absolutely loves the rules and following it—seemed to look...guilty.