I do not own buffy the vampire slayer!

Buffy never expected much from Pike. He wasn't the coolest, or the smartest, or the most likeable person in the world. Sometimes he would surprise her and be a gentleman, or stay sober for a day, or remember to do a chore. And yes, she could be a little too demanding. And it's possible that sometimes she broke up with him for stupid reasons. But she always took him back. Truthfully, there was only one thing Buffy ever wanted from Pike, and that one request he always seemed to break. He consistently found a way to humiliate her out in public.

Bufy slowly pushed the cart through the grocery store, knowing nothing good could come from the trip. She had asked Pike to get chips at least twenty minutes ago, and he was nowhere to be found. She didn't want to leave her aisle and go look for him; she feared what she would find. He would probably be drinking, or ran over some kid to get the last pack of cookies, or got distracted by some shiny object, or got kicked out. There were too many things, too many horrors that could happen before her very eyes. Maybe it was dramatic, but it was true. Even if she was the slayer, she wanted to keep a somewhat cool and collected image.

"Buffy, guess what?" she gasped and rammed the cart into a neatly stacked cereal pile, which came crashing down, spilling the food everywhere and shattering into millions of crumbs as it hit the ground. She slowly turned around, glaring at the idiot who startled her. Pike looked at the cereal, then back at Buffy, before smiling and pulling out a bag of chips from behind his back, "It was a sale!"

She could've killed him. She shot him with daggers from her eyes, but his own stupidity protected him, and he remained completely oblivious to her obvious frustration. She coolly said, "Whatever, Pike," pulled the cart away from the mess, and continued down another aisle. She heard Pike trip and mumble behind her, and she responded with a sigh.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm okay."

"You don't sound okay."

"I'm fine, Pike!" she screamed, grabbing attention from everyone around her. Pike looked startled, but also annoyed.

"What the hell is up with you?" he strolled in front of the cart and rested his hands on both sides.

"Pike, move. I am in no mood for this today," she chucked a box of chocolate pretzels in the cart before ramming the cart into Pike's gut. He gasped and fell over, and she continued moving throughout the store.

"W-what did I do?" he choked out before following her. She tried to ignore him, but she couldn't help but feel bad. He was only trying to help. It was a shame that he was so bad at it. She decided to at least try to be a little nicer to the guy.

She was happy to enter the aisle to get some salsa. She smiled, seeing her favorite kind placed only two feet away from them on the shelf. She glanced at Pike, who was looking around the aisle blankly, "Um, Pike?" he looked around and finally made eye contact with her, "Can you get me the mild salsa. It's the last one there." As she turned back around to point it out to him, she noticed a man. He looked at her, looked at the salsa, and took it without a second to spare. Shock and anger completely took over her. She was ready to leave, but before she could, she noticed Pike walking over to the man.

"Excuse me, sir. Sir? Sir!" he grabbed the man and turned him around, "Yes, hi. Um, my girlfriend was wondering if she could have that salsa that you have in your hand...there."

The man laughed and pushed Pike away, "Come on, kid. It's just salsa."

"Yeah, I know. But to my girlfriend, it isn't," he shrugged, "So, can I just have the salsa?"


Pike's eyes widened, "But you just said you didn't care."

"Well, I got it first, and I'm not gonna give it up because that girl wants it."

"Look, man, just give me the damn salsa."

Buffy watched them continue talking, looking around to make sure no one else was in the aisle. She didn't know what Pike was trying to do, but she didn't like it. Suddenly, she saw everything come crashing down. Pike was suddenly strangling the guy, screaming something about the salsa, while the man kicked and punched at him. Buffy ran over and easily broke them up, glaring at Pike the whole time. The man threw the salsa at him in fear and ran out of the aisle, but she didn't take her eyes off Pike.

"What the hell was that, Pike? What do you think you're doing?"

Pike stared at her in disbelief, "Seriously? I just fought some crazy old man so you could get your stupid mild salsa, which sucks, and you're going to scold me for that. Give me a break," he walked back over to the cart and started pushing it, "I don't know why I try."

Buffy watched him exit the aisle, still shocked by what she had seen. Despite the fact that everything Pike had just done was wrong, he did it because he wanted to make her happy. It was almost sweet, in a strange way. She walked out and met up with Pike at the self-checkout, where he was mumbling to himself about salsa and old people. She smiled and began bagging the items he had scanned, as he began a fight with the machine. Buffy didn't expect much from Pike, but she knew he cared about her, and that helped balance everything idiotic that he did.