**Sorry for such a long disclaimer and author's notes, but I encourage you to read them, as they will make the story much easier to understand. Thank you.**
Well, after nearly two hundred and fifty pages and a full year of work, I've finally finished this story! It's by far the longest, and most detailed story I've ever written. I hope you enjoy it, and please review, good or bad. I want to know what you think!
Disclaimer: Okay, let's just start off by saying that nothing belongs to me. Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans, and any other recognizable characters, places or ideas are part of the Harry Potter series and belong to J. K. Rowling, Scholastic, Bloomsbury, Warner Bros. etc. Adhara Black, Marianna O'Connell, Erin White, Taurus Black, Orion Black, Fiona Black, Professor Beaker, and Cassiopeia Black, as well as most of the basic plot belong to Kaydi, (From My Name is Sirius Black) although we did rework some of it, as you'll see in this story, as well as her revised version of My Name is Sirius Black if she'd ever finish (hint, hint, Kaydi!) And if there's anything else left to claim, I suppose that belongs to me.
Author's notes: First of all, I'd like to thank Kaydi; number one, for encouraging and allowing me to use her characters and ideas to write this story, number two, for helping me with ideas, and number three, for proofreading the entire story, which she's probably doing as I'm writing this.
Please understand that I am not claiming any part of this story to be my own, and if you find similarities to My Name is Sirius Black that is because they were intended for the purpose of a series.
Beware before you begin reading that this is a very long and complex story. It should be self explanatory, but if you find anything confusing, don't hesitate to email me with questions.
My apologies if some chapters are longer than others; there is a wide range. I had most of this story written without chapters, and then had to split it at logical places. I could have made some of them shorter, but there are 49 as it is!
The end of this story is not a cliffhanger, or at least if you have read Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban it isn't. And I certainly hope you aren't reading this if you haven't read that because you're preparing yourself to read a very long story about a character you don't even know! And in that case I'm slightly worried. From where this story stops, the third book begins.
Lastly (I think), this story is rated PG-13, for dark themes, violence, and mild language. Please be aware and understand this before reading. There's nothing that bad, but the rating is just to be safe.
I'm only uploading the first few chapters of the story to start out, but the rest will be coming within the next few days, I promise!
Well, I think I've done enough rambling, and I'm certain you're ready to get to the story now, so without any further interruptions...
My Name is Remus Lupin
My name is Remus Lupin and I am the only one left. Hmm… not much of a title. Oh, well, no one will ever actually read this anyway. No one cares. Everyone who cared is gone. James and Lily are dead and so is Peter. Sirius is off at Azkaban, as good as dead. He was the one held responsible for their deaths. I don't want to believe it, even after all these years. Sometimes, I don't. It's as if he tells me he's innocent and I have to believe him.
Sometimes when I close my eyes, I swear I can still feel their presence. I can see James grinning as he pulls another prank and Lily yells at him for it, but can't help laughing as well. I can hear Sirius say, "You worry too much, Moony. We won't get caught." And I can see Addi's beautiful eyes; full of hope of the future we'd never have together. I can feel them and for an instant it seems so real. Then I open my eyes and I am alone. They are all gone, every single one of them. That cold empty feeling of loneliness creeps back into my veins. It's been ten years since I last saw any of them. Ten long, lonely years. It's Halloween, the anniversary of James and Lily's death. Tomorrow I will be thirty. Thirty!
When I look in the mirror, I don't recognize the man I see staring back at me. Red-brown hair now streaked with gray, tired pale blue eyes framed by thin wire-framed glasses, wrinkles beginning to show on a pale colorless face. It's not me. It hasn't been me for eleven years. When everyone left, I lost so many pieces of myself that by the time they'd all gone, there was nothing left. Nothing but memories. It wasn't always this way. There were better days, much better days. But those days and the person I had been seem a world away, like a fantasy that all I can do is dream of. And I do dream of it. Every hour of every miserable day I dream. And I cry. Usually without even realizing it. The sadness just overtakes me and don't bother to fight it.
To this day, I spend hours wondering, why us? What did any of us ever do to deserve this? We'd been happy. Then I feel guilty for feeling sorry for myself. After all, I have it the easiest of the four of us. James and Peter are both dead. And Sirius. I don't know what to think about Sirius. I just can't believe he went bad, but he did. When they found him, he was laughing. They arrested him and still he laughed. Had he killed James, Lily, Peter and all of those other people and found it funny? The thought is disturbing enough to make me feel sick to my stomach. Sirius had been the most loyal friend you could ever have. He would stick up for you no matter what, and he would do anything for you. He and James had been best friends, probably even closer than I'd been to the two of them. They were like brothers, never apart. But I guess even brothers kill brothers sometimes.
I guess I have sort of begun my story at the end. There was plenty that came before this, of course. Lots of happy years we spent together before our so close to perfect little lives came crashing down before us.
I guess you could say it really all began when I began. I was born on November first, 1967 in a small village in Wales. My parents were Christopher Remus Lupin and Sarah Marlena Lupin. I was named Remus Jeremy Lupin. My father worked for the Ministry of Magic for the Department of Wizard Manufacturing and Product Testing. They tested wizard products to make sure they were safe. And my mother stayed home to take care of me. I was an only child. I don't have many memories of my early childhood. One of my first memories is one of my worst.