Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, nor do I own any of its characters. I just enjoy playing around with them, is all.


Of Rainbows and Milkshakes

By ktfranceebee

Dave was sure he was edging closer and closer to his breaking point. In the first week that Dave and Santana had initiated the Bully Whips Program and up until the last week of school, Azimio would not let up. Whenever he came across him while walking to class or during lunch, he would start random games of 20 Questions at every available opportunity.

"What are you doing walking the homo to class?"

"Why's Lopez making you where that ugly ass beret again?"

"Why'd you cock-block me when I was stealing that dude's pants? Those were some sweet pants man."

Dave was hoping that, now that they were both on summer vacation, it would be easy to avoid Azimio. He could just ignore his calls and texts and maybe he would back off, leave him the hell alone, and that way he could spare him the awful truth. Like the idea of letting their friendship dissolve residually would hurt less than losing their friendship by dropping this bombshell on him. But apparently Dave didn't put nearly as much stock into their friendship as Azimio did, because the dude was fucking adamant.

Dave stared narrowly at the television screen, growling in victory after shooting another terrorist point blank in the head. Just two more stages of the operation: Eliminate the rest of the terrorists and diffuse the bomb and you'll…

Dave liked to think that he was pretty good at playing his video games while being bombarded with distractions. Sometimes his mom would shuffle into his room with the vacuum cleaner roaring—in the off chance that his floor wasn't covered in clothes—saying, over the noisiness of the contraption as well as the sound of the frag grenades exploding from the speakers, that she could vacuum his room since she was already cleaning the landing of the second floor of their house as well as the hallway and his sisters' bedrooms. More often than not, his youngest sister, Kara, would meander into his bedroom to play with her Barbie dolls—perfectly content to be spending time with her big brother—oblivious to the warfare on the video game as he picked off the bad guys, one by one, with his H&K G3A3 Assault Rifle. But as much as Dave was used to having distractions, no person on earth could be prepared to see a 300-pound man causing a ruckus as he barreled through the door to his bedroom, especially when they were in the zone during counterstrike operation.

"Dude, what the…?" Dave took his eyes off the screen for a split second when he heard his heavy weapons and demolition expert, Michael Walter, yell 'We're taking fire!' Ignoring the fact that his best friend pretty much just stormed into his room, Dave looked back at the screen to see if there was any hope at salvaging his mission, but all he saw was the screen flashing red as a succession of bullets ravaged his body before the screen went completely black and the room, dead silent.

Dave gaped as he looked from the screen to his so called best friend who was straightening up from having just bent down and pressed the little circle surrounded by the fluorescent ring of green so that it turned black, thus shutting down the console.

"What the fuck was that, dude? I was in the middle of a freaking mission! Would it have killed you to wait two fucking seconds until I finished the game, dip-shit?" Dave shouted. Beyond pissed, he threw his Xbox 360 controller down on the floor in front of the T.V. His mom and dad told him time and time again for him to ease up on his cursing, not wanting his sisters to pick up on his 'horrendous habit', as they called it, but at the moment Dave could care less that she could probably hear him from downstairs. Z was the last person he wanted to see. "What are you doing here anyways? First week of summer and you're up before noon? My my, aren't we being an overachiever?"

"I thought it was time we had a talk. And you know what? I think you've been hanging around your little girlfriend too much, because I'm sick of your little PMS bitch fits."

"Fuck you," Dave said and he crawled forward to turn the Xbox on once more, ignoring Azimio as he sat in the chair in front of Dave's desk, opposite to where Dave was on the floor facing the television. Azimio turned the chair around so he could see him properly. "Who the hell let you in anyway? My mom?"

"Nah, it was Ames," Azimio said smiling, glad to see that his best friend could at least justify a response.

"Freaking Amy. Just what we need... Her getting into the habit of letting strange men into the house," Dave said going into protective brother mode. He furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at the screen as he waited for the game to return to the main menu.

"Pffft... Strange men my ass. Your sisters love me. I'm like Uncle Azimio," Azimio said rather proudly as he patted his chest. "But if it makes you feel any better, it was your mom who told me you were angsting upstairs." Dave rolled his eyes. Of course. It was only a week that Dave had essentially become a hermit, hanging out in his bedroom, before his mom started nagging him about going outside and getting some fresh air. Is that what she thought teenagers did these days?

"Can't you just turn the game off for ten minutes so I can talk to you?" Azimio asked exasperatedly as Dave began to choose what mission he wanted to play.

"My hands are busy, not my fucking ears. Go ahead and talk."

"Fine," Azimio said roughly... Beggars can't be choosers, after all. At least he had half of his attention. "I wanna know why you've been avoiding me since Prom night? I keep calling and texting you... Thought maybe you'd want to play some basketball or just hang out, you know? My parents are gonna be having a barbecue for the Fourth of July like we do every year and I we were hoping that you and your family would come."

"That's more than a month away, Z," Dave reminded him blandly.

"That's not the point, man," Azimio countered quickly in a frustrated voice. "We've been best friends since elementary school, and I wanna know what the hell is going on with you. If it's because you're seeing Santana and all, that's cool. With you bagging a chick like that... I understand why she could be taking up all of your time. But Jesus! All of a sudden you stop talkin' to me altogether and replace me with Hummel—"

"What?" Dave asked, his eyes widening incredulously at the mention of his name. He even went as much as to look at Azimio as he paused at re-selecting his weapons of choice. "I didn't replace you with Hummel. I told you, Santana she... She made me, okay? It was her idea. She wanted to get sympathy votes for bringing him back to McKinley, alright? So she started the Bully Whips. I wasn't even escorting him anymore after Prom." Dave turned back to the screen to equip himself with some flash bang grenades. He couldn't help but think of the fiasco that had ensued that night and was thankful that Azimio was unable to witness it firsthand. Z's parents didn't allow him to go after he was sent to Figgins office for giving Brett a swirly. Apparently "his hair needed a good washing" wasn't a viable enough excuse for his parents to not ground him or receive a week's worth of detention. But that didn't mean Azimio didn't hear it from the entire football team the next day.

"Yeah, but you kept on wearing that stupid beret and jacket to school. And I may be dumb, dude, but I'm not fucking blind. You were still following him around making sure that nobody was fucking with him. Hell, Santana wasn't even bothering anymore so why did you make it such a big deal to become Hummel's little—"

"I'm fucking gay, okay," Dave yelled. The controller slipped from his hands, falling on the floor between his knees faster than the words that slipped out of his mouth.

"Fuck," Dave hissed, covering his face with his hands.

"Shit..." Azimio said simultaneously, dragging the single syllable word out. He looked up at the ceiling, whistling awkwardly. "Wow, dude."

Dave dragged his hands which he had clenching in his hair and down his face so that they covered his mouth, as if that would prevent him from saying anything else that he would regret, because there was quite a collection to choose from. He sighed, his breathing hitching as though he just finishing sprinting a mile.

"Well..." Dave said gulping as he finally pulled his hands away from his face, dropping his arms heavily onto his knees as if they were made of lead.

"What are you gonna do? Beat me into a pulp? Call me a fag? Post it all over the internet?" Dave asked, glaring at Azimio accusatorily. The other teen sighed and stood up, and Dave looked up at him suspiciously as he made his way towards the bed. Azimio then lowered himself to the floor to sit about half an arm's length away from Dave, leaning against the bed in the same manner. Azimio didn't say anything at first, but Dave watched on pins and needles as Azimio reached out towards the Xbox console to pick up the empty case for the game that he was playing.

"Well, no shit you're gay, D. Playin' a game like 'Rainbow Six'. What the hell happened to your 'Call of Duty' or 'Halo'?" Azimio snorted, tossing the case back onto the floor disdainfully, but Dave didn't miss the smirk on his best friend's face as he turned his head to look at him.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Dave asked, deadpanned.

"Gimme that fucking controll—Look! Look at this!" Azimio laughed as he flicked through Dave's weapons of choice. "Dude, you're using a Heckler and Koch Assault Rifle. It's like the gay has taken up residence inside your brain!"

"What the fuck are you even talking about, you dic—Oh..." Dave grimaced as he wrestled the controller out of Azimio's hands.

Azimio laughed, his head rolling back on his shoulders and his hand covering his stomach as if his amusement was painful.

"Koch... Cock, get it?" Azimio asked, nudging Dave's shoulder a couple times with his elbow while waggling his eyebrows.

"Oh, you're fucking hilarious." Dave sneered, pushing Azimio's shoulder so that he fell over on the carpet, rolling on the floor laughing. Dave got up so that he wouldn't be in danger of Azimio's flailing legs and sat down on the end of the bed, covering his face once again, but this time in order to stifle the laughter that was coming out of him.

"Come on, dude," Azimio said wiping away at the tears that formed in his eyes and standing up. "Don't tell me you don't love my awesome gay jokes."

"Are you... Are you seriously okay? Like... With me?" Dave asked unsurely.

"You kiddin' me, D?" Azimio asked, standing over his best friend and punching him in the shoulder. "It's gonna take a lot more than that to get rid of me. Besides, since you obviously have no interest in Santana—why the fuck were you going out with her anyway?—maybe she'll be interested in gettin' with my fine self, instead."

"Um... Something tells me she wouldn't be all that into your idea." Dave smirked looking Azimio up and down. His best friend obviously took it the wrong way, oblivious to Dave's lady-beard's sexual preference, as well.

"Shut up, D. I am smokin'. Now come on and get your fat ass up. You need to get the hell out of this house before you go crazy. And me…? Well, it's lunchtime and I'm fucking starving."

"Sure..." Dave said standing, stretching and bending his back which had become stiff and uncomfortable from having sat on the floor for too long. "You want to go to that little diner place down the street? I could go for one of their milkshakes."

"Yeah, man. Their burgers are fucking delicious. Let's get of here. Oh!" Azimio started to add as Dave slipped on his sneakers. "And try not to look at my ass on the way out."

Dave could only scoff and shake his head as his best friend sauntered rather flamboyantly out of the room.


This sort of just came to me as soon as I woke up and started drinking my coffee. I'm in a bit of a writer's block funk in regards to my other two Kurtofsky WIPS and I desperately wanted to get something out.

And this was the result.

You may or may not recognize the names of Dave's sisters. This is just me being lazy. This story is not in compliance with my story "Ever the Same."

This will only be a two, or maybe three shot. And next chapter, we will definitely be seeing some familiar faces.

Stay tune and please review!