To Stab the Sky – 1

"This is fucking stupid." Dave crossed his arms, body stiff with irritation. Why the hell was his brother making him do this? He hadn't seen this stupid show since he was a goddamn kid. It wasn't like they had been partying it up before the game, hanging out and chilling and watching flicks together. Bro was too busy for that, and frankly, so was Dave.

"Just watch the goddamn show." Bro cracked open a can of Faygo, putting his feet up on the coffee table.

"Why are you making me watch this shitty-ass anime, anyway," Dave complained. "Are you on acid. Is that it. Is it because the colours go great with the drugs. Because at least then I'd sort of understand."

"We're watching it because it is fucking amazing and you're a just a brat with no taste." Bro sipped his drink, staring at the blank screen. Or at least, that's what Dave assumed he was doing. It was pretty fucking hard to tell with those stupid pointy anime shades covering up his eyes all the time. Not that Dave was really one to talk.

"Whose fault is that, dickbag," Dave said.

"Just press play." Bro smacked Dave across the back of the head and Dave jammed his finger against the button. Dave knew Bro would harass him until he started the stupid show.

"That girl has huge tits," Dave said immediately, watching the opening animation.

"Yeah," said Bro.

"And that guy has your glasses," Dave said.

"Yeah," said Bro.

"Why is that kid talking about food. This is stupid."

"Willing suspension of disbelief. Get used to it, douchebag."

"That kid sounds like Egbert. His laugh is like Egbert."

"Shut up and watch the fucking show."

"That guy has huge nipples."

"I said watch the fucking show."

"Did that guy just say his name is Bro. That is fucking hilarious. Is that why you have his glasses. That is so lame, man. I can't believe you could be so lame. What is this drivel they're spouting. It's like if—"

"I said watch the goddamn show. Now shut your trap or I'll wire it fucking shut," Bro said with a grin. Dave narrowed his eyes—which, of course, Bro couldn't see.

"I think this is the weirdest thing you've ever made me watch. And I've seen your stupid fucking puppet porn."

"You liked it when you were younger."

"Yeah, well, I was a stupid little assfuck, now, wasn't I."

"You think anything's changed? Just watch the fucking show."

"I am so distracted by his fucking saucer nipples. How are you not distracted? They are massive. They are like if millions of radioactive spiders descended upon him during the night and hickied his nipples into-"

"Listen, brat, I told you to—"

But Dave suddenly got very quiet. Bro—the Bro on the screen, that is—was holding the kid close as the room shook. Dave knew that look. Anime Bro was going to do something really fucking stupid. "Is he going to be okay?"


"He seems really…reckless." Like you, Dave thought.

Bro chuckled. "Yeah. Yeah, he is." He ruffled Dave's hair like he had so many years ago, when they used to sit on this couch and watch this very show. "Hey…how much of this do you remember?"

"Not that mu—that kid just came really close to cutting off something important. Holy fuck. Why is Bro not yelling at him."

"He's too cool for that, obviously." Bro replied.

"Fucking obviously. Who needs a goddamn cock anymore, dicks are lame." Dave leaned back. Without noticing, he had allowed himself to become more relaxed. It was just him and his bro, sitting on the couch and watching shitty anime. "That insert music was a little cool. Just a little."

"Hey, man, don't knock it. It was probably your first experience in the field of sick beats."

But Dave wasn't listening. "Okay, that kid is definitely Egbert. He's all—holy boobs. There are just tits everywhere right fucking now. Tits and asses are just all up in this show all of a sudden." Dave paused. "Bro sounds like you when you hit on chicks, man. Did you just fucking model yourself after this asshole."

"Of course not."

"Dude, I can see her ass cheeks. What the hell is wrong with you, showing this to me when I was a kid."

"You sure didn't mind."

"Of course not. I was the fucking cool kid to end all cool kids. Also fucking chesticles."

Silence again. Bro could tell Dave was really getting into the show—the younger boy was leaning forward ever so slightly, unmoving, his mouth set in the way that said he was really paying attention. But Bro also knew Dave would never admit it.

When the episode ended, Bro could tell that Dave wanted to see what happened next. He wondered if he should screw with him, just get up and say he had work to do.

But that wasn't why he was making Dave watch this. That would defeat the purpose of the experiment. So he just reached over and snatched up the remote.

"Want to watch another one?"