Also originally written for Blindfold_SPN on Livejournal - Enjoy! :D
"Said you'd be home Jensen," Misha grumbled under his breath, knocking on the door yet again. He was here to run through some lines before the start of filming for season seven, since an unexpected airline delay had extended his vacation into when they'd normally be practicing. So here he was, braving the heat on the stoop of Jensen's house in LA, and Jensen wasn't opening the door.
"Fuck it," Misha finally muttered to himself, trying the handle and resolving to learn how to pick it via trial and error. Surprisingly enough though, it opened, saving him the trouble, and probably Jensen's door, in the process.
"Jensen?" He called out, closing the door behind him, but a green post-it note stuck to the inside of the door distracted him. 'Reunion sex.' It read, in Jensen's neat handwriting, 'Would have been on the porch, but Jared thought it was to cold. Whiny little bitch. Against the door from behind. 31 minutes, 17 seconds.'
"What the fuck?" Misha mumbled to himself. Was this some sort of bizarre prank of Jensen's? He collected the post-it with a bemused expression, noticing one on the banister of the staircase next, that one pink.
Misha hurried over, and couldn't help but laugh when he read 'Didn't get far. Doggy style on stairs – elevation made it interesting. 10 minutes maybe?' Whatever Jensen was up to, it was definitely funny. Misha started to glance around, looking for more post-it notes as he added the pink one to the green post-it already in his hand.
A flash of yellow caught his eye, and Misha backtracked down the two stairs he'd climbed, crossing the foyer towards what looked like a sitting room from where he was currently standing.
Sure enough, it was a sitting room, with a couch and several chairs – decorated quite nicely – but all Misha really noticed was the rainbow of post-it notes all over the room. He walked to the nearest one – the yellow one he'd seen from the stairs – and picked it up off of the couch.
'Vibrating 13 inch dildo. Jared's new favorite toy. 3 minutes flat.'
Again, Misha found himself laughing out loud at the outrageous post-it note. Jared would probably be ticked off at being included in this, but then again, knowing their sense of humor, anything was possible.
This might also be one for twitter, Misha reflected, or at least some good teasing on set. He'd certainly never look at Jensen the same anyway. Who would have guessed Jensen had this kind of thing in him? Guess it really is the quiet ones, was the only conclusion Misha could come up with as he moved on to the next post-it on the couch.
'Fucked Jared over the back of the couch. 20 minutes, 56 seconds. Note to self: find a fabric cleaner that works on cum stains.' Misha added that to the collection too, another green one, making a mental note never to sit on that couch – just in case.
'Missionary position preceded by a blowjob.' The next one on the couch said, ' Not a very good fit on couch, so moved to floor. 1 hour, 1 minute, 34 seconds.' That one was blue, and Misha collected it with a whistle of appreciation. An hour straight? Damn.
In all, Misha wound up gathering over thirty post-its from the sitting room, frankly starting to wonder how Jensen had so much time on his hands if he really was fucking Jared as much as the post-its claimed. Actually, he was starting to be amazed that he'd ever seen Jared able to walk if this was how the two of them spent all their free time together. And here Misha had always thought Jensen was the bottom in their relationship!
If he'd thought the sitting room was bad, that was nothing compared to the kitchen. It was practically wallpapered in post-it notes. This was starting to get ridiculous for a prank. Seriously, when did Jensen even have this much time to do all this, or well, apparently Jared so many times? Misha was starting to get the creeping feeling that this wasn't just a joke. And how the hell did the two of them know so many sex acts? Misha's wife had written a fucking book on just that, and he was still compiling a mental list of all the terms he was going to have to look up later!
Also, Misha was never going to eat anything made in this kitchen ever again.
It was with a morbid kind of fascination that he began examining the post-its once again, adding them to the ever growing stack in his hand as he went. The list seemed to go on and on with these two: 'mutual masturbation', 'blowjob', 'rimming', '69', 'felching', etc…
'Jared makes a really cute cowboy.' Another said simply, and Misha couldn't help wondering if that meant a costume, or the cowgirl position. One thing he was sure of though – forget Supernatural – the two of them should have been porn stars.
The fridge was absolutely covered, even more so than the rest of the kitchen. 'Zucchini' one post-it read, and Misha laughed again, but if he was honest with himself, he kinda sorta tried to picture it too.
'Whipped cream', 'Ice cream', 'Chocolate sauce', it continued, 'Ice pops', 'Caramel'. He'd known Jared had always had a sweet tooth, but this was just insane. Sure enough:
'Ate desert first. 3 hours, 46 minutes, 10 seconds. Forgot about dinner.'
And now, Misha was really starting to picture things despite himself. Half an hour ago he never would have pegged Jared for a bottom in a million years, and yet all he could think about was Jared on his hands and knees slurping whipped cream off of Jensen's dick. Or being bent over the island for Jensen to use with wild abandon. The images of his coworkers sweaty and naked, desperate and panting were starting to invade his head, and maybe Misha was enjoying that just a bit too much.
'Jared in just an apron. Bacon was extra, extra, extra crispy. Not to self: get sexy firefighter costume.'
That earned another laugh from him, as Misha surmised that he wouldn't be too far off base in assuming that the bacon had been forgotten until it had gone up in flames. It was much too easy to picture that scenario, with Jensen taking Jared sitting on the counter only a foot or so from the stove, the two of them too caught up with each other to take notice when the food was done.
The very next thought was Jensen in a fireman's outfit, because yeah, that was just hot. Misha let his hand drop, unconsciously rubbing at his crotch with the fantasy. He was hard, his pants straining against the dirty thoughts of Jared and Jensen currently blocking all thought from his upstairs brain.
And that's how Misha found himself on an insane post-it note hunt through Jensen's house, learning more about his and Jared's sex life than he'd ever even wondered about. Or considered physically possible. For one, Misha had never quite realized just how kinky the two of them were. If asked yesterday if he thought Jensen knew what a Hitachi wand was – let alone how to use it – he would have laughed and made a crack about his costar thinking it was some sort of Japanese cooking implement. Which, apparently Jensen did enjoy using in the kitchen, as it turned out, but that was a whole 'nother scenario entirely. Yikes.
By the time Misha got to what was probably the one closed door in the house, he'd completely forgotten why he was there in the first place, but really, he was starting to get an idea of where this was going to end up. Just, thank god he was in an open marriage.
It was still with some nerves that he approached the door, one glaring, solitary yellow post-it stuck to it, mocking his cautious approach. Finally though, even Misha couldn't delay the inevitable. He plucked the post-it from the light wood, added it to the top of the stack and read:
'Threesome with Misha. C'mon in, stud.'
Really, that was just too classy. Still, taking a deep breath, Misha opened the door to finally face Jared and Jensen – closet nymphos that they were – and predictably enough, found them fucking like rabbits. Or, well, doggy style, but that was immaterial.
Jared apparently had the modesty to blush, but Jensen just smiled hugely. "Fancy meeting you here Misha," He teased, much too pleased with himself, "Care to join us?"
"No, I've come to arrest you for the possession of illegal amounts of Viagra," Misha couldn't help quipping back, only a little bit sarcastic as he tugged his shirt up over his head.
"Oh goody," Jensen returned, never once pausing in his rhythm as he continued to fuck Jared. "Handcuffs should be on the floor in here somewhere, right Jare?"
Then Jared laughed, obviously relaxing. "Try over by the spreader bar in the corner," But of course. Misha finished stripping off, giving one last look to his enormous stack of post-it notes before letting them fall to the floor. For some reason, as he joined Jared and Jensen on the bed, Misha had a feeling there would be a lot more post-its where those had came from.