Wanna Be A Hardcore Nerdward Contest
Title: Edward Cullen Crashes Comic-Con
Summary: Edward Cullen, international superstar, wants nothing more to see his dream girl, Bella Swan, but doesn't want her to know. How does he do it without garnering attention? By dressing as her favorite cartoon character, of course.
Word Count: 3,699
Disclaimer: This is inspired by Justin Timberlake walking around Comic-Con dressed as Ernie from Sesame Street. Yes, he actually did it.
"Are we really doing this?"
"Why not?" I laugh, pulling on the giant, fiberglass cartoon head.
"Edward, this is the craziest thing I've ever done for an interview," Jasper chuckles and I help him zip up the back of his costume. "No offense, but why do I have to be the girl?"
"I'll make you a deal; if you can work that bow, I'll tell you all about my relationship with Tanya Karpov and Kate Garrison.
"Does this skirt make my ass look big?"
"It's hot, man."
I did feel bad for the guy. I'd always had the reputation of being easy going and laidback- and it's true. I'm always happy to give interviews as long as they aren't about my personal life. Being a well-known musician, my personal life is, always gossiped about and almost always wrong.
I'd been approached by Vanity Fair for an update piece on my career and life over the past decade. I grew up in the public eye, and ten years ago was named one of the most talented kids in America. They said to expect big things from me. I'm proud to say I delivered on that promise and was not only in a widely successful boy band, but also started being the leading man in movies and had a few hit albums to boot. Rarely would I do something high maintenance like this to give a writer what he wanted.
Now, Jasper Whitlock had been assigned to follow me around for a month and get the details on my life and how things had changed for me since I left my childhood home in Chicago, to an international superstar. Those are their words, not mine.
I'd heard about Comic-Con from a few friends and fellow actors and they'd always sworn it was a blast, especially the after-parties. So this year, when I was in LA to promote my new movie, I had Jasper tagging along and I decided that we were going to go. Except nobody was going to know who we were, and how great it would be if people found out later that they were taking pictures and had their arms around Edward Cullen. I also knew my personal favorite actress, Bella Swan, was going to be on a panel. Nobody would ever know about my feelings for her, so if I used the costume as a way to get close to her, then kudos for me.
Nobody would suspect that Edward Cullen and Jasper Whitlock were walking around as Mickey and Minnie Mouse. I could have chosen something cool like Batman and Robin, or Fred and Barney, but I remember Bella had once told me that she had a thing for Disney cartoons and she'd been a 'a hardcore nerd about Mickey' and even showed me her the Mickey tattoo on her lower hip. I never pried about why because to be honest, I was staring at her legs, but it was a nugget of information I'd stored away was grateful to have now.
"What's going on in Hall H?" Jasper asks.
"No idea," I lie.
"Wanna check it out?"
"Sure." There's a huge crowd gathered to get in, and from what I'd seen from some news reports, it was a line to see a panel for Bella's new movie, and she'd promised to answer all questions about herself and the film. Her co-star, Emmett McCarty, whom I'd met before, assured me that she was now single, despite the reports that she was repairing her marriage with that cheating asshole James Cooper.
We cut to the front of the line and get tons of boos and profanities, and there's a heavy, profane rant coming from the girl who was first in line and I look down to see she's eleven-years-old. I want to give a slow golf clap to her parents. I lift up my mouse ears and let her see my face. Her eyes grow wide and I wink at her. She stops her ranting and I doubt anyone will actually believe her if she says who I am, but I make my way in and stand off to the side, waiting for the cast and director to come in.
As the audience is let in, I get a few strange looks because nobody else is dressed up, but nobody pays attention. The room grows quiet and suddenly a loud eruption of cheers scares the shit out of me, and I see Bella, Emmett and the rest of the cast climb onto the stage and into their chairs. Emmett is casual in jeans and a polo with a backwards cap, but Bella is a vision in a red dress. I think it's called a shift dress, and the only reason I'd know that is because I spent summers working in my mother's dress shop as a kid. The way her body moves, it's as if the garment was made for her body. It does not escape my notice that it's the same color as my boxers-the ones on my costume. Nobody here has to know that this mouse goes commando.
Bella shoots a glance at me and I give her a wave. She tilts her head to the side, as if she's trying to figure out who I am, and smiles and waves back. She doesn't know that I'm in here, but my heart beats a little faster and my palms are sweating. Everyone is quickly introduced to the audience and they launch right into the questions after a word from the director.
When Bella starts speaking, she's just as I remembered her from the SNL cast party a year ago. She's witty, charming and she has the audience captivated by her passion for acting. Over time, she's developed some negative press, that she wasn't nice or that funny, but after speaking with her a couple of times, I've learned that she's just shy and likes to keep her personal life just like mine- personal.
They turn the lights down and air the customary clip of the new movie and it's a scene where Bella is stripping down to lace lingerie. I'm captivated by how beautiful her body is. Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster that there's room from the waist down, because my dick is hard and I need the space.
"You have a thing for her, don't you?" Jasper nudges me. I elbow him back, then he lightly shoves me and we're getting a few concerned looks from the cast and audience members. It's not every day you see Mickey and Minnie getting ready for a throwdown.
Bella asks, "Are you guys okay over there?" and everyone laughs.
I give her a thumbs up, and that's when Jasper pushes me hard and I topple over. The fiberglass head that felt so heavy before flies off as if it weighs nothing and everyone gasps. I hear a small voice declare, "I told you so!"
"Dude, I fucking knew it!" Emmett shouts over the audience. "I'd heard you were going to be here, but that's just awesome." He's laughing and I can't figure out how he knew, and I remember that my manager, Alice, is good friends with Rosalie Hale, who happens to be secretly sleeping with Emmett. Hollywood is a small, small world after all.
"Edward Cullen?" Bella stands up, squinting as the lights come back on. The screams begin and the panel moderator demands everyone quiet down.
"Uh, hey." It's all I can think to say, and I'm sure my face is as red as the stupid polka-dot dress Jasper has on.
Jasper pulls off his head, and people are probably wondering who's the rodent in drag.
"What are you doing here?" She has a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.
I shrug, trying to play it cool. I can't tell her that I've been desperate to get to know her better and would love to lick and taste every inch of her. At least, not with all these people here, so I go with "I'm a fan."
"Right." She chuckles again, drawing out the 'I' sound.
"Sorry to interrupt. We'll be going now." I shove Jasper out the side exit and look over my shoulder to see Bella whispering in a short blonde woman's ear; both are looking at me. Bella is smiling; the blonde woman, not so much.
The corridor is empty and we don't put our heads back on immediately. It's nice to breathe fresh air, if only for a little while.
"That was fucking awesome," Jasper throws his head back against a wall and sighs. He must be in heaven right now because I know this is going into his article.
"Are you kidding me? This is bad; this is very, very bad. Alice is going to have my head for this." I'm glad I don't have my phone on me, because there's no doubt Alice will be calling me in a matter of at least an hour to yell about this.
"Because." I sigh. "I promised to keep a low profile. She knows I have a thing for Bella Swan and I wouldn't make a big deal out of it."
"Who wouldn't, though? The girl is gorgeous."
"Tell me about it."
"You've got it bad, huh?" His tone is more understanding and I hope he won't say anything publicly.
"Yeah, for a while now."
The blonde woman, along with a man who looks just like her, come out from the same doors we exited from, and approach us very slowly, as if we're going to bite.
"I'm Jane and this is my brother, Alec. We're part of Bella's team and have a few questions for you." She looks stern and she's kind of scary. There's extra room in my costume now because my balls have retreated into my body.
"I'm really sorry about that. I wasn't trying to take away from her," I try to assure her.
"I don't really care, Mr. Cullen. Ms. Swan has asked that I give you this and she asks that you come as yourself." She hands me a slip of paper. I thank her and her creepy brother as they disappear back into Hall H.
"What is it?" Jasper tries to peer over my shoulder and I brush him off with a giant glove.
I open the folded paper and it has all of Bella's personal information. Things that celebrities hold sacred: hotel room and number, and ten digits that I've been wanting for the longest time.
"You got her number-congrats, man." Jasper pets my shoulder and my knees buckle at the weight from the padding of his hand. "When are you going to call?"
"Well, not right now."
"At least text the poor girl. She must be confused as fuck about what you were doing there."
We hear voices coming down the hall and we quickly put our heads back on and head for the stock room where we'd changed. We get a few stares; no doubt our appearance has hit the web. After we change and are privately escorted out, Jasper keeps repeating that he just had the most fun he's had in a long time. I tell him he needs to get out more.
Once we're settled in the car, I turn on my phone and sure enough, there are a dozen missed calls from Alice and at least a few more from my mother and friends.
The first thing I do is store Bella's phone number and then send off a text apologizing for my behavior. She instantly replies back: Don't worry about it. It was great to see you.
I'm thrilled with her response for two reasons. One, she doesn't use that god-awful text speak; and two, she's not mad at me. I know she wouldn't have sent Jane after me if she were mad, but it's still nice to know.
I reply: Can I take you to dinner tonight?
My heart is hammering in my chest. I've never taken rejection well and from her it would be especially hard.
My phone chimes and I feel shaky and giddy. Absolutely. Pick me up around 8?
"Holy shit." I choke on my tongue.
"What?" Jasper looks up from his own phone, no doubt telling someone about what we just did.
"I have a date tonight."
Jasper lets out a low whistle and says, "Nice!"
My phone chimes again and she's written, Bring the costume.
I bounce nervously from one foot to another as the elevator slowly takes me to her floor. I have a small bouquet of wildflowers because Alice told me those are her favorite.
Surprisingly enough, Alice wasn't mad. In fact, she thought it was charming and romantic. She's always been a hardass about what I do, when I do it and where, that it never struck me she'd be a sucker for the sweet gestures. How I see it, crashing Comic-Con as Mickey Mouse was just downright stupid. Alice sees it as a smart PR move for the movie, as well as my personal life, to perhaps dispel rumors that I'm gay or still heartbroken over Kate. Neither is true, because if anyone did know us, they'd know Kate was gay and heartbroken over being secretly dumped.
Why did I have to be such a fucking coward and literally hide who I was to try and get close to a girl? If I wanted to do things the typical Hollywood way, I would have had Alice get in contact with her people and arrange a place for us to meet or have them exchange our phone numbers for us. I like that we're doing this ourselves.
The elevator dings and my heart is thumping away. I can't believe I'm doing this. I run my hands through my hair, trying to calm the fuck down. In my head, I start preparing how to greet her. Do I start with a casual, "hey?" or maybe a "hi?" or do I give her a peck on the cheek? Would that be inappropriate? How did first dates get so damn awkward? I've never been good at them. Maybe this is why I've had so many first dates and not a lot of seconds.
Most girls have always gone out with me just to say they have, and very rarely have they ever been interested in me for me. The only girl I truly cared about broke up with me five years ago for a backup dancer, and then the bitch went crazy, shaving her head and had to be hospitalized for "dehydration." I hadn't heard from Tanya in years, but last I heard she was planning a comeback and was doing quite well for herself. As long as she abided by the No Contact Order, I wished her the best.
Bella, though, was different. She wasn't bat-shit crazy and already had her own success. She hopefully wouldn't want or need me for anything except for me. From what I'd heard, her ex was a cheating liar and their marriage had ended over a year ago, but the information was only now being released because Bella's team wanted to garner sympathy to help boost sales for her new movie.
The strategy is solid, but I know from personal experience that having your personal life splashed all over tabloids and entertainment shows is never easy, no matter how right or wrong.
I look at my watch and notice I've been pacing in front of her door for a couple of minutes before I finally knock. I expect Bella to answer, but instead Jane does, her Shining-like brother right behind her.
"It's about time. I thought you were going to put a hole in the carpet," she chides.
"Jane, get away from the door," I hear Bella's voice and my body instantly relaxes.
"Well, come in," Jane snaps and opens the door wider. After I enter, she sticks her head in the hallway to see if anyone has followed me. Apparently, the coast is clear, and after the door shuts, Jane becomes a whole new person.
"It's nice to officially meet you, Mr. Cullen." Jane is smiling, which is a weird look for her, and offers her hand for me to shake. I hesitantly reciprocate and smile back. Jane pulls me close and whispers, "She's really nervous, so take it easy on her, okay?"
I pull back, staring wide-eyed at Sybil, and nod.
"Edward, it's nice to see you again." Bella is smiling from a bedroom doorway and she looks even sexier than she did at the panel. She's more casual, in a pair of tight jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt with a gray vest that shows off all her curves.
"Nice to see you, too. Look, I'm really sorry about today, I swear I wasn't trying to interrupt-" I stop myself when she holds up her hand, and for a second I think she's mad because she's frowning, but then I see she's not upset with me.
"Hey, guys, he's here and clearly not standing me up, so you all can go now."
Jane and Alec grumble as they gather their bags to leave.
Jane pats my hand as they're leaving and tells me in a low voice that I'll do fine. They leave and when the door shuts, we stand in silence for what seems like an eternity, but is most likely thirty seconds.
"Standing you up?" I ask, breaking the ice. I hope I come across with a light tone, but I'm somewhat insulted at the insinuation.
"Yeah, they like to take bets on just about everything. Alec was betting that you weren't going to show."
"Alec can talk?"
Bella snorts and slaps her hand over her mouth. I laugh, and then remember that I brought her flowers. She smiles as she takes them and pulls out a large decanter of brandy. She pours out the liquor and fills it with water.
"You do know that was at least five hundred dollar alcohol, right?" I chuckle at her expression. She clearly doesn't care.
"Flowers from you are worth more than any drink in a mini-bar." She walks across the room and wraps her arms around my torso. "They're gorgeous, thank you. I can't remember the last time someone gave me flowers."
I want to correct her, that it's clearly more than a mini-bar, but if she isn't going to care, then neither will I. I'm more hung up on the idea that someone has done something so simple for her. I fight the impulse to tell her I'll give her flowers every day if she'll let me.
"So, what did you have planned for tonight?"
"I was thinking we could have dinner and then maybe figure it out from there?" I offer, feeling stupid that I didn't really think the date through.
"Sounds good." I'm not moving and neither is she. Her body is still pressed against mine and I'm resistant to move, because this could be the last opportunity to keep her close to me.
She looks at me and I can't say for sure what it is, but it almost seems as if she's holding an internal war about what she'll say or do next. The tension in the air thickens, and our breathing is slowly matching rhythms. My hands slide up and down her waist, and I want to feel her under this shirt.
"Edward," she whispers and slowly rises to match my height.
Before she can say anything else, her lips are on mine, slow but confident in their movement, and I can't believe what's happening. I quickly kiss her back, meeting her pace. I run my fingers through her hair and her tongue slips between my lips. We both groan at the warmth and contact. I feel inspired and begin kissing her harder, faster than before and she's more than willing to go with me.
She backs me against the wall and presses her body flush with mine.I feel slightly embarrassed that she's feeling how badly I want her, but she surprises me again. She doesn't back away and look angry; instead she grinds herself against me and I can't help but thrust into her. She smiles at my enthusiasm, and then our teeth clink and it really hurts.
She pulls back and rubs her incisors. "I'm sorry," we say at the same time.
"Don't worry about it," she laughs.
"So, what was that?" I feel a bit of awkwardness as she watches me no-so-subtly adjust myself.
"I've been wanting to do that for over a year."
"You have?" I stare at her, and I see a bit of blush take to her cheeks. I know she must be worked up because she was on Punk'd and she didn't get flustered then, but she is now and I feel kind of good about it.
"Bella, can I ask you a question?"
"Sure." She turns her back and grabs her purse.
"Are you sure you aren't mad at me for earlier?"
She looks at me as if I've grown three heads. "Absolutely. That was one of the funniest, most charming things I've ever seen. I had no idea it was you, but as soon as you were tackled by Minnie, I knew you remembered last year."
"I'm amazed that you made the effort."
I can't help but feel smug and happy that she remembers the cast party, too.
"Yeah, that tattoo is hard to forget."
She throws her head back and laughs and it's a fantastic sound. "I've never been hardcore about anything nerdy like Star Wars or Star Trek, so I guess you could say I'm a Wannabe nerd? I can only do cartoon characters."
"I don't think you're a wannabe. Getting a tattoo of Mickey is pretty hardcore." It's true; I don't have any because I'm scared of needles. Not that I'd tell anyone that.
"Can I ask you a question?" She links her elbow through mine as we leave the hotel room.
"Where's the costume?"