A/N: This is... new. The idea had never occurred to me before and, while playing delivery puppy for my boss, it mentally slapped me in the face. I mean, it's never been DONE before; literally. It amazed me. Welcome to the voyage and mind your manners, please.

DISCLAIMER: No matter how much I wave my wand, I do not own Harry Potter and anything to do with it! Tetsuya Nomura better hide his characters and Square Enix too!

WARNING: Character death, abuse, neglect, and SEX (of both varieties) will be upcoming in the chapters. Flames are not welcome; constructive criticism is. This entire story is AU (Alternate Universe).


Italics: Parseltongue


The wind howled fiercely as the worst, and first, snowstorm to hit Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Salazar grumbled under his breath as he placed Warming Charmes in the dungeons so that they would be warm for later generations.

"Godric, desist in sneaking about."

"Aww, Sal! Ruin all my fun, would you?" His best friend whined, a kicked-puppy look on his boyishly handsome face. "How'd you know I was there in the first place?"

"Your cloak is dripping wet, you fool. Water makes this thing called sound when it hits cold dungeon floors, Godric." He snarked, unknowingly channeling a man that wouldn't be born for another thousand years.

"Oh. Ro was wondering if you had time to help her with enchanteing the staircases."

"Is that why you dragged your happy-go-lucky arse down here?"

"... Mostly. I also wanted to tell you that luncheon is served."

"I have potions to brew, Godric."

"Food is important too, Sal. Please?"

"Salazar Draconis Slytherin, I will not have you skipping meals!" Helga yelled from the end of the drafty hallway. The Parselmouth hissed something fierce as he continued to cast.

"Leave. Thiss iss not a good time." He was so close to his familiar, Sadir, that winter was making him irritable.

"Is it Sadir again, Sal?" Salazar sneered as his voice dripped poisonous sarcasm.

"What do you think, Godric? That your familiar iss proofed againsst ssuch weather sshowss only your sstupidity."

"Ric, leave him be. Salazar, when you and Sadir are hungry, let me know."

He scowled at his best friends as they propped him up with cushions galore.

"I am not cold." Sadir was curled up in his lap, the ten-foot baby basilisk crooning softly.

Ssal, I'm warm now.

"I know you are, little sstar." He whispered softly in Parseltongue.

"You know, that is very sweet, Sal."


"It is entirely true. That basilisk has no idea who she gave her egg to." Salazar refrained from rolling his eyes, his jaw clenching. "Sal, t'was in jest."
"I understand."

-Voldemort's demise; Hour Four-


A thin wail came from the ruins of Valentine Cottage, alerting the giant of a man to the child within it's ruins. He picked up the little boy, who snuffled and looked up at him with large green eyes. No marks marred him, save a shallow scratch on one cheek. The boy's black hair had faded into a strange shade of silver; it was disturbing to say the least.


Albus Dumbledore examined the child, Sephiroth, with great care. The scratch was the only thing wrong with the child of the prophecy and that would soon fade. The slit pupils and the silver hair, however, refused to be glamoured or changed with any spell. He supposed it was the direct result of coming so close to such a Dark wizard. Yet charm after charm showed that there was no residue from the spell that should have killed the living, breathing child in his arms.

"Albus, Sephiroth will catch cold! Wrap him up." Minerva's sensible Scottish accent rang out harshly on the deserted street. "Don't you dare leave him with those horrid people either. They're Muggles of the worst sort." She conjured a soft fluffy blanket to wrap him up.

"But she is his only family." He reasoned smoothly, not knowing the whereabouts of Black.

"Find Black and give him the boy."

"No, he is best off not knowing how famous he is." Minerva hissed softly, but allowed him to place a sleeping Sephiroth on the doorstep of the Shinra family. He tucked a letter in with the small boy, hoping against hope.

-Ten Years Later-


"Boy, get your freaky arse up!" Aunt Scarlet screeched. "It's Rus's brithday! Make his bacon, boy." She hissed through the slot in his cupboard door. He jumped up, snarling out curses in a whisper as his head smacked against the fifth stair for the second time in a week.

"BOY!" Sephiroth practically double-timed it to the kitchen, taking over scant seconds before Rufus Jr. came downstairs, yawning loudly in the living room. Rufus Sr. huffed as he straightened his newspaper and gave Sephiroth a piggy-eyed glare. "Quit growing, boy. We waste good money feeding you." Seph internally flinched and hid behind his long silver hair.

"Yeah, freak. Where's my bacon?" He hastily placed it onto the plate, making sure to use only the spatula. Rufus hated it when he touched something... Both of them did. "Oi, where's my fiftieth present?"

"We're taking you and your lovely band of Turks to the zoo, honey. The freak gets to stay at Hojo's house." Rufus Sr. and Jr. shivered slightly as Sephiroth slipped his horrified emotions behind a cold mask. "If my worthless assistant is even in his house. Fool spends too much time expiramenting and not doing my work."

It turned out that Hojo had blown himself and his house sky-high. Sephiroth was relieved that he was going with the Shinras instead of to the creeper/tourturer's house ever again; they'd argued in fierce whispers before he'd been shoved into the back with Rufus and his Turks.

"Any funny business, any at all, and I'll make sure you never see the light of day again, boy."

"Yes, sir."


"The freak has to sit with us, Dad?" Rus immediately protested.
"We're going to a public place, Rus; the freak won't try anything."

They arrived without incident and they explored the zoo quietly. Sephiroth was on high-alert as the Turks were beginning to look bored. A bored Turk was never a good thing; he'd figured that out when he was eight. Such lessons had him distancing himself from them, keeping light on his toes as they enter the House of Reptiles. Rus was drawn, of course, to the most deadly of the snakes; a black mamba/king cobra cross. He rapped his pale knuckles on the glass, causing the snake to turn away from him. Waiting until Rus and his Turks were far enough away, he approached the glass, gently placing his hand on it.

"Bet you get that all the time." He muttered. "I do."

Sss-aa, a sspeaker? The soft female voice was surprisingly warm.


The ability to sspeak iss a rare one, ssnakeling.

"Oh. Did you like Africa?"

Never went; I wass born here in thiss very tank.

"Wouldn't you like to? And what's a snake-" Rus shoved him out of the way, sending his thin frame to the cool stone floor.

"Dad, look what Sephiroth did! He made it move!" Then, to everyone's horror and shock, the black mamba/king cobra slithered out; headed straight for Sephiroth. "Oh, God."

A ssnakeling iss one of our younglingss. I will go now, sspeaker. Thankss.

"Welcome." He managed before the ten-foot serpent slithered off. Scarlet fainted and Rufus Sr. barely caught her.

Of course, this particular incident locked him in his cupboard for the remainder of the school year. By the time he was let out, he'd barely passed the fourth grade. He never came home with better grades than Rus; that spelled beatings and experimenting with Hojo when he was alive. The 'kind' doctor had found that his intelligence was beyond average... He was a genius who used 22% of his brain. Hojo had been so excited that day, only for Scarlet to shut down his 'pet' Project S. Sephiroth had a sneaky feeling that she'd caused the "accident" with "chemicals" in the lab. Every employee of Shinra knew the good doctor was crazy as bat shit and twice as intelligent as the average blue collar. Sephiroth was even smarter and knew he had to put that cunning to shrewd use. When he picked up the mail, he noticed a heavy, elegant letter written on what looked like parchment. Turning it over, Sephiroth gasped quietly as he stared at the address; the letter was for him. It simply read:

Mr. Sephiroth Valentine
The Cupboard Under the Stairs
Privet Drive # 4
Little Whinging


Turning the letter back over, he tucked it into the waistband of his pants and covered it with his shirt. He handed the pile to his Uncle and suddenly Scarlet eyed him with a beady stare.

"Boy, have you been stealing food?"

"No, Aunt Scarlet."

"Why have you grown again?" To his dismay, sure enough, there was another full two centimeter difference in his too-tight jeans.

"I'm sorry, Aunt."

"Well, no use for it, boy. My insipid sister always did grow too fast. We'll have to move you to Rus's spare bedroom."

"WHAT? No, I NEED that space for my Turks!"

"Don't worry, sweetie, I'll get the garage remodeled." Rufus Jr. looked appeased and glared at him. He quietly and quickly did the dishes, yelping when the letter was pulled out of his waistband.

"Who would be writing to you, freak?" Sephiroth was silent for several moments.
"... I have no idea."

Ending A/N: I cut it off there 'cause I wanted to get y'all interested. Hopefully it worked... Erm, anyway, R & R, please? With a pretty Seph and Harry on top?

*Muse Corner*

Sephiroth: WTF?

Harry: ... Dude, that is messed up.

Seph: You think? He's gone and done it again!

Harry: Yup.

Seph: *facepalms* You Wizards are all the same...