I know general headcanon is that if Blaine gets slushied that Kurt is there to help clean it off, but I thought that if that isn't the case, I'd be okay with something along these lines, too. So here's a short little something for my Season 3 Wishlist.
So Curly has been here for a week now and I guess he's pretty cool. Anybody who can put up with Kurt that much gets massive props in my book. Plus, I've never seen him smile so much.
If you ask me, it's about time my boy Kurt got some. If the looks they share during Glee rehearsals are anything to go by, at least. I can spot sex-eyes from a mile away. Which is how I also know that Rachel still isn't giving it up to Finn—but that's a different story.
Speaking of Glee rehearsals, that's what brought me here—to the locker room. Here's the thing, Kurt is sort of a diva. And you wouldn't know it by looking at him, but Blaine is a little bit, too. Now I'm all for including him, but I'm here to set the record straight. Unfortunately, poor dude got his first slushie today and I figure it's the perfect opportunity to explain how things are gonna work.
Now I know what you're thinking but I'm totally cool with my sexuality. You'd have to be for some of those post-football-practice shower sessions. I'm all about the Alpha. Besides, it is mega difficult to get short-stuff on his own. If Kurt isn't hanging off his arm then Berry is following him around trying to convince him to sing male lead.
Come to think of it, maybe it's Finn who isn't giving it up. God, I'm glad I'm me.
Now, back to the task at hand. I've hung around here for a little bit and I think I've given him long enough to at least suds up so he can't run away or anything—past experience cornering dweebs still comes in handy.
I don't know what song he's singing but when I round the corner he's rocking out like it's the best song he's ever heard. I gotta give it to him—the boy has soul.
If I could escape and recreate a place that's my own world
And I could be your favorite girl forever, perfectly together
Now tell me boy now wouldn't that be sweet?
He's using a bottle of conditioner as a microphone but when he sees me he fumbles with it. Of course all I do is flash him one of my winning smiles.
"Hey there, Curly!" It's kind of comical how wide his eyes are as he attempts to cover up, using a loofah to hide his junk. "Don't worry dude, I'm not here to sneak a peek or anything. I'll leave that to Kurt." I give him a wink and oh, whoa, I didn't think it was possible but his eyes just got even wider.
"Noah!" he hisses at me, looking around helplessly. "What are you—?"
I hold a palm up, "Dude, I told you, call me Puck. Anyway, here's the skinny. I don't know how things worked over at Boy Scouts Emporium but here we're a team and we just got our Kurt back last year and we're not about to let him go again. So no hogging the limelight. We already have to deal with Rachel."
The whole time I'm talking he's just sort of blinking at me uncomfortably, still under the stream of water. "I—uh—Puck I understand and I—um—appreciate your concern but—" He gestures with his arm before realizing that it's the one that was holding the loofah and snaps it back. Man, I hope he's not panicking because the last thing I need is for him to pass out. I'm cool with all this but there's no way I'm doing mouth-to-mouth in the locker-room showers with a naked guy.
"Blaine! Calm down, dude. Chill," he gives me a wounded puppy sort of look so I figure I might as well make this quick and finish up. "Okay, look. We love Kurt and Kurt seems to really like you so stay on his good side and you'll stay on mine, got it?" Oh, good, he laughed at that before nodding. "Good." I flash him another smile.
Blaine seems to have finally found his words. "You guys really care about him, don't you?" He says it pretty calmly for somebody as naked as the day he was born.
"Yeah, man. Hard not to, you know?"
"Yeah, I know," Blaine says with another smile. Wow, Kurt sure does know how to pick 'em. Blaine is one heck of an upgrade from Finn. I mean, Finn's my bro but come on. One look at Blaine and it's pretty obvious he's sort of perfect for Kurt.
Man, I gotta stop letting Lauren make me watch those Twilight movies.
"All right, dude, remember what I said," I offer my hand out, hoping for a brotherly shake but Blaine just looks at it dubiously. "Ah, too much?"
"Um, yeah," he laughs. "And yes. I will. Can you like… no offense, but can you go now?"
I wave him off. As I leave the locker-room I can hear him singing again.
Come on let's bounce, counting on you to turn me around
Instead of clowning around, let's look for some common ground
So baby, times get a little crazy
I've been gettin' a little lazy, waitin' on you to come save me
I run into Kurt as I round the corner. "Hey, Kurt!" I greet him. Of course, I gotta do something to show him my approval so I clap him on the shoulder as he passes by, throwing me a confused look. The bell rings and yup, that's my cue to leave so I shove past him.
Hmm, I wonder what they're serving for lunch today. Man, I hope it's tots.