A/N: First little part is credited to those wonderful Private Practice writers :)
Not a great fan of this fic to be honest, but it's finished so I might as well post it! - Title from the song 'A Thousand Miles' by Vanessa Carlton.
A Thousand Miles
Part 1 of 2
'cuz you know I'd walk a thousand miles if I could just see you, tonight'
"We're a team, we're partners, Naomi" Violet started.
"You can't just bring somebody in" Sam added.
"Without asking us" Pete finished.
"We're a democracy. We vote" Sam said firmly.
"Yeah" Cooper nodded.
"We vote or it doesn't happen" said Violet.
"You're right. We should've voted. I was wrong" Naomi said with slight reluctance.
"Good. Okay, let's vote"
"Whoa whoa, whoa whoa whoa" Addison said standing up "Hold on a minute. Uh, I have been working here less than 24 hours, and in that time I discovered that I am not welcome here, I learned I am a one-man gynie show, and I performed crazy MacGyver surgery, and...Sam, saw my booty" she said with a slight laugh "So...this has not been a great day for me. This day kind of sucked. But you know what I had one patient...one patient the entire day...and I loved it. So you want me gone? Too bad. I'm in. I'm putting my foot down. My foot's down. It's down. I'm not going anywhere. So...yeah" she said trailing off a little "I thought I...I thought I had a big finish but...I don't. So...I'm done" she said lowering herself into her chair defeatedly "No, no" she said standing back up "I do have a big finish. If I hadn't been here today, if you'd had someone else, that girl would've died delivering her baby. I saved her life. I saved your asses. I'm a world-class neonatal surgeon. And I'm here to stay. Welcome to the new Oceanside Wellness" she said as she left the room.
"That's why I didn't tell you she was coming" Naomi smirked as everyone looked at her in awe, everyone took a second before heading out of the room.
"You better close your curtains tonight Addison" Sam teased as himself and Naomi approached her in the lobby minutes later.
"Shut up" Addison said dryly "You didn't have to look"
"You didn't have to dance naked with your curtains open" Sam laughed.
"He has a point" Naomi smirked.
"Whatever" Addison mumbled, pressing the elevator button firmly, she froze when the doors opened and Alex was stood in front of her.
"Hello Addison" he said simply.
"Alex" she said shakily "What are you doing here?"
"What am I doing here?" Alex laughed as he stepped out of the elevator, Violet, Pete and Cooper all walked out into the lobby, stopping when they noticed the stranger talking to a tense looking Addison, Alex pulled a note from his pocket "Sorry I can't do this" he read from it "Y'know, I know I made some mistakes Addison but I really thought I deserved more than to wake up to this when I should've been waking up next to the woman I love, if you don't want to be with me then that's fine, I don't like it but it's fine, it's your life, but now I have an apartment I can't afford on my own and a closet full of shoes I don't know what to do with, you know how hard it has been for me to open up to you, and you know why, after everything we've been through, everything we've talked about, I thought I meant enough to you to at least have you say you don't love me anymore to my face, I've told the landlord I want to move out but he won't let me give up the lease without talking to you first because we signed it together, I know I could've done this over the phone, and this might make me an ass, but I wanted you to feel exactly how I felt when I found this" he said tearing up the note and dropping the pieces to the floor "I didn't think you were a coward Addison, but obviously I was wrong, oh, and I want my Iowa shirt back, I'm going back to the airport, send it in the mail" he stepped back into the elevator as the doors opened and hit the button for the bottom floor, as the doors closed Addison stumbled back a little, and before Sam knew it he was catching her as she fainted.
"Addison? Addie come on sweetie wake up" Naomi said as she knelt next to the sofa in the lobby where Sam had lay Addison.
"Wha...what?" Addison mumbled "What happened?"
"You fainted sweetie" Naomi said softly "You were only out for a minute, whoa, stay lying down" she said pushing Addison's shoulders as she tried to sit up, Addison brought her hands to her face and burst into tears "Sshh, it's ok" Naomi said stroking her hair a little "You're ok Addie, it's ok"
"I screwed up" Addison sobbed "I really screwed up"
"What happened?" Naomi asked softly.
"That was Alex" Addison sniffled, she rolled onto her side so she faced Naomi "We were together for 6 months, we lived together for 4, and everything was, great, we had to fight a lot of fights, Derek and Mark didn't really like it, not for the first couple of months anyway, we had to try and balance the work home issue, he was, my intern" she breathed "And I don't know what happened it's just, it just all felt so overwhelming and, I found a ring" she said disbelievingly "Alex had a lot of stuff happen to him when he was a kid, he had this huge guard up that stopped people who loved him getting in, and we worked past it, and I was still a little bruised from the divorce, and then one night, after I got your email about the empty office, I found a ring, in his nightstand, and I freaked out, it was on my mind for days, and one night I just, snapped, I left that pathetic note on my pillow, packed a suitcase, and I left"
"Oh Addie" Naomi sighed "What are we going to do with you huh?"
"I need to go after him" Addison said sitting up and slipping on the heels Naomi had took off her "I need to fix this"
"Addison you really shouldn't be driving…." Sam started from where he stood with the others a little distance away.
"Then drive me there!" she exclaimed "I'm not letting him get on that plane, he doesn't get the last word, no way"
"Addison…." Naomi started.
"I'm going after him" Addison said firmly, she slammed her finger repeatedly on the elevator button, Naomi let out a heavy sigh "I'll drive you" she said stepping into the elevator with her.
"Why are the OBs always the crazy ones?" Violet muttered as the elevator doors shut.
"Trust me" Sam started "You ain't seen nothing yet"
Naomi frowned as Addison walked back towards her car in the airport car park, sooner than she probably should be, Addison climbed into the passenger seat silently.
"Can you take me back to the practice, I want to pick up my car" she said simply.
"The car can stay there, Sam can give you a ride in the morning" Naomi replied as she pulled away "What happened?"
"Flight had already left" Addison said quietly.
"He wouldn't have had time to…." Naomi started.
"He wasn't there ok? So can you please just shut up, please" Addison sighed.
"Ok" Naomi said softly, they drove in complete silence, Addison constantly wiping silent tears from her cheeks, as they pulled up outside Addison's house they were faced with a car they didn't recognize and Alex sitting on her porch "You gonna be ok?" Naomi asked a stunned Addison.
"I'll be fine" Addison said quietly "I'll, call you later"
"Ok" Naomi said softly, Addison climbed out of the car, Naomi pulled away leaving Addison stood in her drive, she walked to Alex and stepped over him to open her front door "You gonna sit out here all day or are you coming in?" she asked simply, Alex sighed heavily and stood up, following her into the house.
"I bought them out of habit" Addison mumbled as she passed him a beer from her fridge before she made her way upstairs, returning a minute later with his Iowa shirt.
"Here" she said holding it out to him "This is what you came here for right? Take it" she said waving it a little.
"I don't want the shirt Addison" Alex sighed.
"Then what do you want?" she asked firmly.
"I just want to know why" he said hanging his head a little "Addison please" he said so quietly she almost missed it, she looked up to see small tears in his eyes.
"I found the ring" Addison said quietly "I was looking for some cash so I could take a cab into work, I didn't have any in my purse, and I found the ring in your nightstand, and I freaked out"
"Because you found a ring?" Alex said slowly "How do you know that ring wasn't just a present? How do you know it was, an engagement ring" he said quietly.
"Because the box had 'marry me' inscribed inside it" Addison said dryly.
"Oh" he said quietly "You saw that huh?"
"Yeah" Addison whispered.
"So that's why you left me, because you found an engagement ring? God Addison all you had to say was you weren't ready to be engaged! You didn't just have to up and leave!" he exclaimed.
"I know" she whispered tearfully "I'm so sorry Alex, I was just, scared"
"Don't you think I was scared?" he exclaimed "I woke up to an empty bed and a note Addison! I've spent the last week petrified because I didn't know where the hell you were! I only found out in the end because pretty much all of our friends marched into the Chiefs office and yelled at him, I'm not the only one who was scared Addison, Callie, Shepherd, Sloan, Bailey, everyone! You can't just walk away from everyone who loves you because you found a stupid engagement ring!" he shouted, his breathing was heavy, his fists clenched by his sides.
"I wasn't just that" Addison whispered, tears streaming down her face "I wasn't happy there anymore, in that job, I felt trapped, I've worked in hospitals for 15 years and, Naomi emailed me with this job offer and, it's perfect, today has been, it's been hard but, I loved it" she breathed "For the first time in months I actually enjoyed my job, I felt, happy"
"So you're saying I didn't make you happy enough" Alex said lowly "My love wasn't enough, is that what you're saying?"
"It wasn't about you Alex! It was about me!" Addison exclaimed "You, are the best thing that's happened to me in such a long time, and I know I screwed up, I know I did, and believe me if I could go back I would but, I can't, and now, now I don't know what to do" Addison sobbed "I love you" she choked "I didn't think I'd ever find anyone again, I thought, I thought Derek was the love of my life, I thought he was the one, but he's not, he's not, you are" she sobbed "You're the love of my life, and because of my stupidity, because I got scared of what the future was, I've lost you" she whimpered "Damn it" she said hunching over "Damn it" she sobbed, she hunched over, her breathing becoming constricted as she clutched at her stomach "Oh god" she groaned "Alex I, something doesn't feel right"
"Addie?" he said stepping forward and holding her up "What is it?"
"I don't know" she said tearfully "It hurts"
"Ok" he said kissing her temple "Ok, it's going to be ok, I'll check you over"
"No….the hospital" she choked out "The hospital"
"Ok, we'll go to the hospital" he said quietly.
"Hey" Naomi said softly, walking into Addison's hospital room an hour later "How are you feeling sweetie?" Addison just turned her head away "I got you some clothes" Naomi said putting a bag on the end of the bed "Addie, come on sweetie, look at me" Naomi said quietly "Addison?"
"She hasn't said anything since we, confirmed it" Alex said quietly as he stepped back into the room "We can go now Addison" he said moving to her side and brushing his thumb across her cheek, she looked away from him, she slowly sat up and took the clothes from the bag Naomi had brought with her, she changed in silence, dumping the clothes she had been wearing in the bin before Naomi and Alex could protest, she moved out of the room in silence, not looking at either of them.
"I don't, I don't know what to do" Alex said quietly "This is all my fault"
"Oh Alex of course it isn't" Naomi said squeezing his arm a little "It's just life"
"But, I made her upset and, we were yelling and, she was crying and, it's all my fault" he stuttered.
"Alex, I know this is hard" Naomi said firmly "I know, but she needs you to try and be strong now ok? You need to remember, this is nobody's fault, it just happened, ok?"
"Ok" Alex breathed, Naomi squeezed his hand a little before Alex ran out after Addison.
"Addison" Alex said sitting down on the edge of her bed "Do you want anything? Something to drink or some food or, anything?" Addison rolled over so she faced the window, within seconds she was sobbing, Alex kicked off his shoes and climbed onto the bed, spooning her body, their fingers linked tightly together "It's ok" he whispered "It's ok, I'm here Addie, I'm here, it's ok"
"I didn't, even, know" Addison choked "I didn't even know but, I feel, I feel empty" she sobbed, Alex slowly turned her over so she buried her face in his chest, his fingers running through her hair "I didn't know" she sobbed.
"Sshh, it's ok, I know Addie, I know" he said softly.
"I'm sorry" she whimpered against his chest.
"Hey" Alex said stroking her cheek "You have nothing to be sorry for, nothing ok? This wasn't your fault, it just happened, you heard the doctor Addie, it was just a natural thing, it's nobodies fault"
"You need to go home" Addison sniffled "You have work"
"You need me" Alex said softly "Work can wait"
"You don't have to look after me Alex" Addison croaked "I'm not your problem anymore"
"The woman I love just lost my baby Addison" Alex said softly "And I'm going to be here for as long as it takes for you to feel better"
"I don't deserve this" she said with a slight sob "I don't deserve you being nice to me, I don't deserve to be a mother, I don't deserve any of it"
"Hey" Alex said cupping her face "You made a mistake in leaving Seattle like that, we both know that, but you do deserve to be a mother, you do, this isn't the end Addie, if you want to be a mother you can still be a mother"
"The ring freaked me out because I didn't want it to happen again, I didn't want to marry the man I loved and then be left for someone younger and prettier, I didn't want to be pushed into cheating again because I needed attention, I didn't want to be that person again" she said quickly.
"Oh Addison" Alex whispered, pressing his forehead against her temple "I really wish you would've just told me, you know I'm not him" he said softly "You know I wouldn't do that, and I wasn't, I wasn't going to propose for, months yet, I just, I saw the ring and, I saw you, and I'm, so sorry that that scared you, I will do anything to be with you again, I'll move here if this is where you want to be, I'll do anything" he said softly "I love you"
"I don't want you to move out here if you're going to resent me for it later" Addison said quietly "I want you to want to move here"
"I want to move here if this is where you want to be" he said kissing her hand.
"You need to, call Seattle in the morning, I don't want your residency to get messed up" she sniffled "If you can't transfer then I'll move back"
"Ok" Alex said softly "Just try and relax Addie I'm right here, I'm right here" he whispered, he held her tightly until they both relaxed and fell asleep.
"Hungry?" Alex said with a slight laugh as Addison quickly ate her way through a stack of syrup covered waffles.
"Shut up" she mumbled before she swallowed "I haven't eaten anything since before I left work, y'know, I was thinking, do you even like this house? Because if you don't we can move, or redecorate, I mean, I was going to do that anyway but, I want it to be your house too and, well, we don't even know if we're staying here yet but…." Alex cut her off with his finger on her lips "Sorry" she mumbled.
"I like this house" Alex shrugged "It's very, you" he said with a small smile "And you know I'm crap at decorating and stuff so, I'll come with you to buy paint and pretend I'm interested okay?"
"Okay" Addison laughed.
"And I, I'm paying for all the bills, and the grocery shopping, no questions asked, I'm paying my way"
"But…." Addison started.
"No buts" he smirked.
"Ok" she sighed, frowning when the doorbell rang.
"It's probably Naomi" Alex said kissing her cheek and walking to the front door "Hey" he said with a small smile.
"Hey" Naomi said quietly "How is she?"
"She's, ok" he nodded "She's eating so, that's good, come in" he opened the door further and let Naomi walk inside.
"Hey" Addison smiled.
"Hey" Naomi smiled back.
"I'm gonna go call Webber" Alex said kissing the top of Addison's head before heading out onto the deck.
"I'm feeling fine" Addison said before Naomi could ask "I felt a little nauseous this morning but I'm, ok, plus he made me pancakes which is always a nice thing to wake up too, want some?" she said holding out her fork, Naomi sat down next to her and took a bite.
"Ok, so those are good" she smiled.
"Izzie taught him how to make them when we moved in together" Addison said with a slight laugh "Said he should at least know how to make me breakfast"
"Right" Naomi said with a small smile "So, what's going on Addie?" she asked softly.
"We talked and stuff last night and, he's going to transfer out here if he can, if he can't then, I'm going back to Seattle, I know you need me here Nae but, I can't lose him" she said quietly "Especially not now"
"I know sweetie" Naomi said softly "It's ok, you should be with him, don't worry about work for now, take as much time as you need"
"I'm fine Naomi" Addison sighed "I really am, I mean, I didn't even know there was anything to, lose, I didn't know, how can I be upset about something I didn't know was there"
"It's a lot for your body to go through Addison" Naomi replied "And you and Alex have a lot to work on too"
"God, now they have more reasons to think I'm crazy" Addison mumbled into her hands.
"They don't think you're crazy" Naomi said with a slight laugh "Addie, they had to watch me and Sam get a divorce, they've seen crazy"
"Right" Addison breathed "Well, I might come in this afternoon, when I know what's going on"
"Ok" Naomi smiled "Well, I'll see you soon, love you" she said kissing her cheek as she stood.
"Love you too" Addison smiled, after watching Naomi cross the deck back to Sam's house she moved out onto her deck where Alex stood on his cell, looking out to the beach, she came up behind him and wrapped her arms around him, reaching up and kissing the back of his neck, he turned so he could bring one arm around her body, bringing her close to his body, her face pressing against his chest breathing in his scent.
"Yeah well, I'll come back to get all my stuff so, I'll see you then ok?" Alex said into his cell "I will….ok….bye Mer...bye" he said hanging up his phone, slipping it into his pocket and bringing his other arm around Addison.
"Hi" he smiled as she looked up to him, pressing his lips against hers.
"Hey" she said softly.
"So, I spoke to the Chief, he's going to call around and get me a place at a local hospital, he said, he just wants to make sure you're safe and happy, so if LA's where we need to be, then that's ok with him" he smiled "And, I called Meredith, she's gonna start putting some stuff in boxes for me, I'm going back on Friday if you're feeling ok, and I'll be back by Monday, I, I told her about what happened" he said quietly "She won't tell anyone else I just, I needed to talk to someone and, she's…."
"Like your sister, I know" Addison said softly "It's ok Alex, I'm, I'm ok" she breathed "We can do this"
"We can do this" Alex smiled kissing her.
Part 2 of 2 to follow….