My life is perfect.
I have the most amazing girlfriend. She smiles and waves to me, hugs me in front of everyone, and kisses me in public.
I hate her.
I hate her breasts. I hate her vagina. I hate her smell.
But, she's probably the best thing for me, so I guess I can settle.
Another way that my life is absolutely amazing is that I'm exceptionally well in all my classes. I study hard every night, I memorize facts about square roots and radicals that I know will come in handy.
I copy off of my neighbor in exchange for sex.
I'm not complaining.
I am absolutely content with my life.
Someone kill me now.
He rustles his paper and yawns, stretching his arms up and not even looking over at me. I know this position and take advantage of it, copying down answers ten through twenty. I nod slightly and he puts his arms down, nudging his paper off the edge. The teacher's head snaps up.
"Pick up your paper off the floor."
"No problem, Ms G." His paper has drifted towards my desk and I scoop it up, memorize one through nine, and hand it back to him.
He turns, takes the sheet from me, thanks me, and twists back around. I repress a shuddering breath and sign my name at the top of the test.
"Fuuuuuck," he groans, gripping the back of my hair. "Eat it like the fucking slut you are." I don't even bother dignifying his comment with a response. Besides, it would be kind of hard with his dick in my mouth.
A few more bobs and he comes in my mouth. I swallow the bitter substance- albeit barely- collapsing on my ass as he zips his pants up.
Pulling his shirt down over his low-riding jeans, he smiles down at me. "We have a quiz on the political systems in the Middle East today, don't we, Staney?"
I swallow dryly. "Y-yeah. We do."
He smirks. "Hope you brought a condom." He stoops down lets his long fingers trail along my jaw before sliding down the shoulder of my shirt and reaching down to kiss along the skin he revealed.
He bites down fiercely and I yelp. Pulling back up, he whispers "You're mine." in my ear before walking out, leaving me sitting on the floor of the the bathroom.
"Stan?" Wendy questions, squeezing my hand. I pull out of my thoughts and smile at her.
"Are you okay?" she asks, a concerned look adorning her face. "You've seemed really 'off' this past week. It's not about your grades, is it?"
I shake my head. "Nah, not about my grades." Well, not directly... "I've just been stressed, yeah?"
She nods. "I understand. You know that if there's anything you want to get off your chest, you can come to me, right?"
"Yeah," I say softly, bringing her hands to my chest and kissing her deeply.
God, I hate her lips.
I come home and immediately strip off my shirt, analyzing the parting "gift" Craig gave me. It's red and rough looking: already turning a purple-bruise color. Sighing, I swab it with antiseptic and cover it in a large plaster.
After flopping onto my bed, I pull out my math homework. It's a pain in the ass to solve, but I'd much rather work it myself than pay another person- in some form or another- to do it for me.
I know this is a dangerous way to live. I'd be fucked if I didn't. But I just... I can't do it. I mean, I know the material, but it takes all of my willpower not to puke onto the paper: let alone do any of the problems.
Okay, I can do this.
You just have to multiply the- Oh god, what if I get it wrong and she calls me in front of the class to show everyone how much of a retard I am? And then everyone will laugh and-
Fuck, no I can't.
Growling, I swipe the godforsaken paper off my sheets and rest my head on the cleared surface. The only "core" subjects I'm not failing are English language arts and general science. Contrary to what many people say, I actually can read. I enjoy it as well. And general science is just memorizing where organs go and shit.
Sometimes, I thank a god that I long ago stopped believing in that I'm doing okay in those two subjects. I think my mental state can only handle so blows to my psyche. And Craig, Craig is fucking scary.
Craig... My fists clench automatically. That asshole is a dick. He roped me into all of this, offering this deal exactly as I was desperate to do anything to prevent me from losing my scholarship.
Anything, apparently, is equivalent to sucking Craig off and putting up with all of his bullshit.
One of the main reasons I find Craig so disturbing is his way with people. He's all smiles and laughs as you get close to him while he places all of his hooks into you. And then, before you know it, you end up hanging around him despite not knowing why.
Or, you end up like me: his fucktoy. His plaything.
And fuck, you keep running in circles because he has something held over you. You're like a donkey that keeps walking because there's that carrot just right in front of you. You keep trying to tell yourself that, soon enough, you'll get it and all this walking will be worth it. But it's just an empty promise- you know that- but you still keep chasing it.
Just keep chasing it.
Just keep running.
AN: (updated 23-6-12) THANK YOU TO THE ANONYMOUS REVIEWER. Your grammar could have been much better (read: why do you even bother typing anything dumbass) BUT YOUR POINT WAS MADE. I wish you had an account, though. :c So I could thank you.
That review should sum up this work of shit beautifully. Don't read it. I hate it. You'll hate it. I'm saving you some trouble.
Why not go and read something niiiiiiiice (well, better than this)? Check out my recent(-er) shit, and don't bother going past this chapter. Seriously. Ugh.