A/N: One hundred percent AU. Harry and Ron left Hermione behind to look for Horcruxes and then Hermione's mandatory presence at Hogwart's is requested.
Pairing is Hermione/Draco, rated M for themes of profanity, perhaps smut, torture, and death.
Let me know what you think :)? X
MEMOIRS OF AN UNTOLD STORY
THE PARTY OF HOGWARTS
"No!" Hermione cried venomously in Ginny's surprised face. "Absolutely not! Do you not know we're in the middle of a war between good and evil and you want to what? Get wasted, smoke weed and have drunken sex?". She shook her head in disgust and turned back to Ginny. When Ginny had asked Hermione to meet her in the library the next morning she thought it was something terrible and dangerous and life-threatening in the Snape-department but… It was all about a party?
"Okay wow, mum" Ginny stepped back, folding her arms. "It's just a party Hermione, okay? And not even a big one. Just a small party in the Room of Requirement. I'm so sick of being told what to do and when to do it and how high to jump for crying out loud! What's so wrong with blowing off some steam and just relaxing? You know that word; relax? You should really try it out some time, Hermione". She sighed and sat down on the nearest seat. "Don't you ever miss our old life, before the Voldemort take over, where we had freedom? Don't you miss meeting up secretly, knowing death wouldn't a punishment if we did get caught? Don't you miss going out to Hogsmeade on the weekend?".
Hermione grimaced, suddenly remembering the blonde future version of herself telling her to lighten up and not be all controlling and to have… fun. That future version of herself was living in a world where Voldemort did not exist and she was gorgeous and popular and she fitted in. "Of course I do, Ginny" she sat down across from Ginny and sighed. "I miss walking through the halls and seeing life and knowledge everywhere. It makes me so angry that Snape, good or evil, is in charge of Hogwarts. It makes me angry that Carrow can do whatever she thinks she can. But there's a difference between being tactical and being smart. When I say let's take the fight to them, I mean plan it with D.A, anticipate everything that could and will go wrong, train ourselves and make sure we're prepared. I don't mean let's go out and get ourselves killed by throwing a party and then having Voldemort find out he wasn't on the guest list!".
"Somehow I don't think Mr-Creepy-Dark-Lord-Of-All-Things-Evil-And-Wrong's problem will be the fact that he wasn't invited" Ginny rolled her eyes at Hermione's dramatics. "And who even says he'll find out? It's the Room of Requirement, it provides everything! Food, drink, even safety andsecurity. And it's clear that Voldemort does not reside in Hogwarts, Hermione! It's clear he doesn't worry about anything but his evil plans. He's sent Snape, and a bunch of Death Eaters to take over Hogwarts, just like everything else in the Wizarding World. He has spies in the Ministry of Magic, Gringotts Wizarding Bank, St Mungo's Hospital, Wizarding Examinations Authority, any major Wizarding institute he'll have people there and I'm sure he's sitting in Malfoy Manor with a bottle of fire whisky and a plate full of caviar but what he's not doing is worrying about a bunch of 17 year olds throwing a party".
"Except when Snape finds out, or Carrow sees us sneaking around and tells Mr-Creepy-Dark-Lord-Of-All-Things-Evil-And-Wrong and he comes here to personally fry our guts out" Hermione almost barked, trying to control the rise in her voice. What the hell was going through Ginny's mind? Had she lost all common sense?
"Eh, hello! Voldemort already knows you're here, he's probably the one who made Snape bring you back here this year! If he wanted you dead, you'd already be dead" Ginny growled. She looked down and sighed, rubbing her temples.
Actually, Hermione thought sourly, Draco was the one who brought me back because he supposedly loved me. And he told Voldemort it was all about finding out where Harry was. It was then that she frowned. Wasn't Voldemort getting impatient with the whole waiting around thing? She looked back up to see Ginny looking over at her, waiting for a reply.
"Look Hermione" Ginny spoke first instead, "I'm going to throw this party tonight. I've already had the same conversation with Neville and I got him to see my way of things. Luna is in too. I've even-" she laughed, "-I've even got Blaise on board. Cho might be coming too. I don't need your permission, Hermione, but I would like you there. If you still want to come, you know where to find us". She picked up her bag and began walking to the library door, before stopping halfway "I'm gonna let other people run my life, I advise you do the same".
"I advise you shut the hell up. The difference between me and you, Ginny" Hermione began, the icy tone in her voice shocking Ginny and leaving her gaping, "Is that I don't put my life or my enjoyment ahead of others. People could die if I screw up. But then, you don't really care about that, do you? I'm assuming you still hold a grudge against me because of my momentary lapse of faith in Harry, because, I'm the last to know about this little party" she laughed bitterly and also picked up her bag. "Don't come crying to me when you get caught" Hermione snapped before pushing past Ginny and storming out of the library doors and down the corridor.
Hermione sighed and frowned as she walked. She didn't know what had been going on with her and Ginny lately but all they would seem to do was snap at each other or be bitchy and Hermione had a feeling it was because Ginny was obsessed with believing that Harry would and will save them and that clashed with the fact that Hermione had doubts, in everything, not just Harry or Ron. It's not like Hermione wanted either of them to fail, it was just… the visions, the deaths of everyone in those visions, the fact that Ginny was so sure Snape and Draco were completely evil and something in Hermione was telling her she was wrong.
Maybe she was just stressed she hadn't seen Draco all last night or this morning either. It was like they were both avoiding each other, except Hermione was the one planning too. Draco didn't show up for dinner last night and when she went back to her dorm, he wasn't there. She had waited up for him and fallen asleep on the couch and even in the morning, he still wasn't there. His bedroom door had been left open a crack and Hermione had looked in - his bed and room had been left untouched. A flash of pain went through her quickly when she thought about how he might had gone back to Pansy but dismissed it.
She didn't even know what to do at the weekends anymore. Things were too awkward with Ginny now and Neville would be with Ginny. She couldn't walk into the Ravenclaw Common Room to see Luna or the Slytherin Common Room to find Blaise (that scenario would be most definitely worse). She thought back to last year, where the thought of the amount work of being a Head sounded so exciting except… this year it didn't matter. Everyone knew. She was made Head for show, not for hard work. They weren't given any tasks to do because, no one cared about it anymore. The work in classes wasn't even thought out that much and it definitely showed. More or less every teacher seemed too occupied with staying alive than actually teaching them how to pass their exams. Maybe nobody would even bother if she stopped going to classes at all, because, what does it actually matter when everyone knows that evil runs their school?
It would be pointless to do exams because, with Voldemort in control, he was your future. You either went to join him, or you died by him. Exams didn't matter. That very bleak thought made Hermione feel even worse than she already did. Sometimes it was too hard to cope with the fact that her life could be over with a blink of an eye. Eventually, Voldemort was going to get impatient with Draco giving him nothing on Harry's whereabouts. When Voldemort realised that was a dead end, Hermione would either be killed, or tortured first. She remembered her future blonde self, telling her that when the ultimatum of good and evil eventually came, Draco hesitated. What was this ultimatum of good and evil? Is it when Harry and Ron will finally arrive at Hogwarts to fight back? Or when Voldemort will order a kill on Hermione?
"Hello Hermione" Luna began walking with Hermione. She looked up and gave Hermione her usual happy smile.
"Hello Luna" Hermione smiled, "How are you?".
"I'm fine thanks" Luna replied "And you?".
"Still alive, I guess" Hermione laughed humorlessly, shrugging.
"Will you be attending Ginny's party in the Room of Requirement?" Luna asked quietly, "Neville thought you might have some reservations about it".
"Damn right I do" Hermione replied as they both turned the corner, "It's stupid, pointless and reckless. Instead of getting drunk, we should be careful about what we do and who is watching us. It's too dangerous to have a party".
"I think it's a great idea" Luna smiled happily, "Parties are fun. And Hogwarts could use a little fun. Don't you ever wonder what Hogwarts must feel like sometimes? Hogwarts must be so depressed under the control of evil. Maybe a party will help it feel better" she sighed, "Well, I have to go now. Bye Hermione" she smiled again and walked off in the other direction.
"Bye… Luna" Hermione muttered, looking after the blonde haired girl. Just when you thought Luna couldn't get any weirder. Hermione sighed and looked all the way up to the Hogwarts ceiling. She wouldn't be surprised if Hogwarts did actually have feelings. If Hermione knew one thing was certain in her world; it's that with magic, anything's possible. Hermione shook her head and resumed her walking, back to the Head's Dorm. Maybe Draco might actually be there and they could talk… Hermione felt sick to her stomach at the thought of it. Everything seemed to be getting out of control, for everyone and she had no way to stop it. Hermione reached the Head's Dorm in under 5 minutes, which was impressive in it's own right, and stared up at the portrait door.
Hermione shook her head of her thoughts, said the password when nobody was around and walked inside. She closed the door behind her, dumped her jacket and bag on the nearest table and looked around to see Draco walking slowly out of the kitchen. Hermione immediately paled at the sight of him and her stomach knotted with butterflies. How was this actually happening? The boy she had a crush on in first year but then instantly hated, with a venomous passion, until now. Blonde Hermione seemed to think they were soul-mates but in a dangerous time period as this, who could really trust anyone?
"You're back" Hermione stated and straightened her back, folding her arms. It was all she could do not to look completely weak in front of him. She looked straight at him with a pointed gaze, without shame and nerves and Draco couldn't tell if Hermione was just being cold or whether she was pissed off.
"I am" Draco nodded, stepping forwards. "I had to think about some things" he paused and walked in the common room with renewed confidence.
Hermione nodded slowly, "What kind of things?" she held her breath, staying exactly where she was. She knew exactly what he had to think about but she couldn't bring herself to say it. What was worse was she had thrown herself at him and he had pulled back and left her alone. She braced herself for his rejection and made herself promise she wouldn't start crying in front of him. That would be truly horrible.
"You" Draco admitted openly, "We can't…" he grimaced like in pain, "We just can't. If anyone ever found out it would just be… And if we got caught… If anyone ever found out… It's just better if we don't start something we both know won't end well" he finished his last line with absolute assuredness.
Hermione blinked back tears, and licked her lips. If that's what he really wanted… "Okay" was all Hermione could say. She pushed her fringe back and began walking towards her room, trying not to break down. She walked inside and closed the door behind her, feeling so utterly devastated.
Draco watched her until she disappeared behind her bedroom door. That was truly horrible, having to lie to her face when in fact all he wanted was her touch and her scent. He was about to walk back into the kitchen when Hermione's door reopened and she came storming out, looking angry.
"Last night when I kissed you, I felt something I've never felt before" Hermione told him sternly, keeping her voice steady, "And last night… I would have gave myself to you" she paused, "I have never wanted to give myself to anyone and when you pulled away you might as well have shot me in the stomach. If this meant nothing to you why the fuck did you kiss me back?" her hardened face fell away, "Was it just a joke?" she let a single tear fall from her eye before shaking her head and storming into the bathroom.
Draco immediately followed after her and saw her leaning over the bathroom sink, silently crying. This was… He crumbled and walked inside, closing the door behind him. He walked over to her and slowly placed his hands on her waist. She froze under his touch and instantly stood up, his body pressing into hers.
Hermione looked at him in the mirror and saw his desperate eyes that had never looked so vulnerable and delicate. They stood there, just looking at each other with Draco still holding her. He reached his fingers up and they traced over the love bite he'd given her the previous night. Hermione shivered into his touch and turned around, staring up at him. He bent his head down, their lips inches apart. Hermione was breathing heavily now as Draco suddenly captured her lips, bending her back over the sink and making her head rest against the mirror.
Draco was kissing Hermione just as much as she was kissing him and without even knowing what he was doing, his hand wrapped around her thighs and picked her up to sit her on the sink. He kissed her harder and without resistance and let his hands go everywhere. Hermione moaned with passion and let her fingers slide under his shirt and up his lean stomach and chest. Draco grabbed Hermione's legs and wrapped them around his hips. He easily picked her up and walked with her on his hips into the common room.
Hermione mumbled something into his mouth as they moved and when her fingers slid carefully inside his trousers, he growled and slammed her against the wall, kissing her harder. There was a monster in both of them, the same monster that screamed for passion and lust and love and something more. Hermione's eyes widened when she felt Draco against her thigh and she gave out a surprised cry. She had never gone this far with anyone but something else was scaring her a little - herself. Hermione found herself wanting this to never end, she wanted Draco and her to go all the way. She wanted to constantly be in this cycle of heat and lust.
Hermione suddenly found herself on the floor with Draco's feverish body pressed against her. Draco's tongue raided her mouth and Hermione kissed back just as hard, moaning when she felt Draco's hand moving from her knee upwards. It was slow and tantalising and she jerked her pelvis into his groin in an attempt to be closer faster. Draco gasped, his grip on her thigh tightening. He dragged his hand up the rest of her thigh, his nails sending pure pleasure to her core. Draco let his hand rest upon her jeans zip and Hermione whimpered.
Hermione withered beneath him and she looked up to see Draco's black eyes filled with unrelenting lust. He was staring at her with coveted passion and all she wanted was his motionless hand to start moving and solve her problem. However Draco continued not to move and Hermione's fists gripped the carpet beneath her. Ever so slowly, she heard the zip of her jeans go down and she released a painful moan that caught in the back of her throat. She felt the button of her jeans go and her stomach vibrated with pleasure.
Draco pulled up her top and revealed her smooth stomach. He couldn't stop himself and put his lips against her stomach, making her groan again. He began kissing his way down her stomach, smiling at Hermione's constant withering in pleasure. He got to her abdomen and placed his hands on the side of her hips and kissed right above her underwear. All reason and logic was lost on both of them - something they never thought would happen really. Just as Draco's fingers slid into Hermione's underwear, a knocking of sorts made them both freeze in panic. What if it was..? The knocking sound went again and Hermione and Draco found themselves scrambling up, Draco going to fix his messy hair and untidy clothes and Hermione buttoning and zipping up her jeans back up. She wiped her mouth and flushed her hair up in an attempt to fix it.
Draco walked over the portrait door, looking over at Hermione with frustration as she casually sat herself down on the couch. Draco cleared his throat and tried to act normal as he opened the portrait door and revealed Blaise to be standing there, looking amusedly from Hermione to Draco. Hermione let out a tempered breath and glanced uneasily between Draco to Blaise.
"Hermione, Draco" Blaise greeted them both, his eyebrow raised at them, "Hermione, I came here to see if I could persuade you to join the party in the Room of Requirement?" he closed the door behind him, "Ginny wouldn't divulge what exactly happened between you two but Luna said you two would probably patch things up if you came tonight".
"You think it's wise to be telling me all your little plans?" Draco asked boredly though Hermione could tell he was anything but bored.
"Well since you know about my…" Blaise paused, frowning, "Since you know about… and I'm still here, standing, alive, I think it's safe to say you're not as evil as you make out" he looked over to Hermione, "At least, that's what Hermione thinks" he watched Draco's dark unreadable eyes dart from him to Hermione.
"And what if someone were to see you walking in here?" Draco pressed, his anger threatening to break through his concealed surface, "What would they think?".
"Then they would think I am wishing to talk to my Slytherin and Death Eater friend Draco Malfoy, wouldn't they? You're still pretending to be one of them, aren't you?" Blaise replied politely but his words had ammo.
"Yeah I'm not going" Hermione interjected the conversation before things could worse. She jumped off of the couch and tried to look natural standing there, instead of looking as awkward as she felt, "I hardly think having a party is entirely appropriate considering the circumstances".
"I think a party is exactly what people need, considering the circumstances" Blaise placed both his arms behind his back in an orderly fashion, "But if you don't wish to go, I guess I can't force you, shall I send on a message?".
"Anything I want to say to Ginny right now wouldn't be very nice repeating out loud" Hermione found a sarcastic smile on her face, "But tell everyone else to enjoy the party and not to drag my name into their session of pass the torture when they're found out".
"Very well" Blaise nodded. He glanced over to Draco and gave him a pointed look before he opened the portrait door and walked back out, closing the door over. Draco let out a troubled sigh and he let his hand run tiredly over his pale face and baggy eyes. Hermione figured she looked pretty much the same; this year had taken a strong toll on her and her physical appearance gave it away.
Just as Hermione thought things couldn't get anymore awkward, they did. She wanted to tell Draco she knew he personally requested her presence, she wanted to tell him what the future blonde version of Hermione had told her, what the future Hermione said he must never find out. She wanted to tell him everything. She wanted him to tell her everything.
"You and Ginny are fighting?" those were not the words expected to be coming out of his mouth first but there they were. Sharp and direct, to the point. Hermione sensed that Draco thought she and Ginny were fighting about… him.
"Ever since I doubted Harry's ability to win, Ginny and I…" Hermione began and Draco's eyebrows went up. He had thought nothing would make Hermione doubt Harry Potter but he wasn't naïve. That little slither of doubt lingered in the back of everyone's minds. Hermione was the only one to voice it. "I love Ginny but right now we aren't seeing eye to eye" Hermione finished strongly, looking down. She and Ginny definitely weren't getting along. First with the debate about whether Snape was truly evil - which Hermione know knew that he wasn't, otherwise he never would have killed baby Tom Riddle in the alternative timeline - and then doubting Draco's true evilness and now doubting Harry. Not to mention Ginny obviously knew about Hermione's feelings towards Draco, maybe that's where her hatred came from - a resentment about that very fact.
Hermione wondered if they were ever going to talk about what had nearly just happened. They had nearly had sex. Nearly made love. Nearly crossed the invisible line that they weren't ever supposed to breach. If only she could have a real conversation with him and tell him she knew it was he who brought her back to Hogwarts. Because he supposedly loved her. If he loved her already why the hell was he still acting reserved and cautious and like… Like he didn't love her, at all.
As if Draco himself could literally feel a change in the current timeline, like train tracks; moving from one track to another to take a different path, he smoothed down his white shirt again and brought his gaze up to Hermione's. His last words still hung in the air as he spun around and walked into his bedroom door, closing it behind it.
"You weren't supposed to kiss me".