The clanging of Steve's pickaxe rang out in the cavern, the sound carrying along the winding, torch-lit caverns he'd already visited, and even down into the darkness below. This expedition had been long and exhausting. Steve had been carefully navigating the darkness for days, stopping periodically to laboriously carve out any useful ores he spotted. He was no stranger to manual labor, however; his strong, sweaty muscles tensed under his thin shirt with every movement, but he had been working all day. Like the steel armored pants he wore, he was tough and resilient, but inside there was something missing.

Just as Steve was gathering up his ore into his backpack, he heard footsteps coming from behind him. Normally Steve was quick to draw his blade on any creatures in his mines, but the this moment was different.

The Creeper emerged shyly from around a corner, its dark, empty eyes fixed on him. Where most creepers would attack, however, this creeper was simply watching him, examining his ruddy, dark skin under the quivering light of a torch. Steve approached the coy creature hesitantly, and as they gazed into each others eyes, a strong bond took hold of them.

Steve seized the creeper with his strong, coal-smudged hands and traced the wide, sullen face before him. Normally creepers appeared to be angry or frightened, but this creeper was simply lonely. The Creeper was just as lonely as a certain mining man down in unfamiliar caverns by himself. These two ailing creatures were desperate for a companion, and they gave in to their desires with reckless abandon.

Man and beast swiftly found themselves in the throes of passionate lovemaking. With the force of a man who lifts stone for a living and eats nothing but red meat, Steve pounded the creeper with all his might, the startled green monster letting out hisses of pleasure and excitement. Steve's short beard chafed the back of the creeper's head as they embraced each other in the cave. The creeper was smaller and more delicate, but his short legs gyrated in tune with Steve's hips with surprising force.

Soon the creeper was beginning to swell with the oncoming explosion. Steve squealed like a pig being ridden through molten lava and began pummeling the creeper with his mighty fists in a fit of ecstasy. Heedlessly, he punched the creeper again and again, the confused creature's weak mewling was inaudible with the man grunting and groaning, as if in pain. Just as the creeper reached his breaking point and swelled almost to twice its size, Steve dealt him a final blow and killed the creeper.

There was no explosion, just a puff of smoke as Steve landed on the hard stone where his lover had just been. The realization of what he'd done slowly dawned on him as he sat on his firm, bare backside and sifted through the small pile of gunpowder before him.

He had killed another lonely creature, the only other he'd met just as himself. He had become a monster; before he had killed in self-defense, but this was a different, more horrible act altogether.

For a long time he sat on the floor naked, his steel armor tossed about carelessly, his backpack almost forgotten against the wall. He waited for the creeper to return, or for some sign that might ease his terrible guilt, but nothing happened. Soon the cold draft from deeper in the cave began to chill him, making his square nipples stand erect, and he mustered up the strength to retrieve his belongings and leave for the surface.

When he finally reached the surface, the dawn was just breaking he stood by the cave entrance to listen to a symphony of zombie moans as they were consumed in flames on the surrounding hills. Steve blocked off the entrance to the cave system permanently, and he left a single wooden sign there to record the memory of his only and most fleeting relationship.

Gone too soon,

my only friend

my one desire

my biggest regret.