Penname: Karen E. Teague
Title: The Name of the Game was Love
Summary: Jasper works through his hate and discus for his ex as he wonders the world until he finds the unexpected mate he almost lost.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight that was the brain child of SM
It's been ten fuckin' years since the pixie asked me for a divorce, then she had the gulls to ask me to play nice until after the party for Bella. I asked her why and her answer was, "We were never meant forever Jazzy; it was all a game, so I could be with my true mate one day, and the time has come to claim him."
It was then that I understood why they always seemed to spend so much time together. I hated that I was part of a game for so long. Nerveless, it took him meeting Bella even to open up to the idea of love. I felt sorry for Bella being part of this sick little game.
How had I never caught on before that day? I am not sure, but I will be damned. When she got that paper cut it was the sweetest smell I had smelt in almost a century.
As soon as Emmett and Rose let loose of me, I was off running, not knowing where I was going as at that time I did not care I just needed out of there. I ended up in Texas, my home state. I had not seen my brother Peter in some time, so I gave him a call.
I spent the next couple of years with him and his mate Char, but in the end they made me leave, Peter telling me not to come back until I get my emo head out of my ass. Somewhere along the line I had gone back to our natural diet.
I went back to being a nomad spending a few days here and a few days there. I would run into other nomads from time to time, and I had not felt that amount of fear in years. The word had it that the Major was back.
I guess in a way he was, as he was in control, of how I am at the moment. It took me a few years before I started talking to Peter again, but he still wouldn't let me come visit saying that I am still too emo for his liking.
What can I say, I am an empath. Emotions, is what I do and feel every second of my life. I hated knowing I was a toy, a pawn in a sick game. People get hurt in those kinds of games. She destroyed who I had become for her.
I promised myself if I ever crossed paths with that pixie bitch again I would kill her and since it's a firm decision, she would have seen that and knew to stay away from me at all cost.
At times, I have missed Emmett, and Rose. Shit, I have even thought about calling Carlisle a time or two, but never got up the nerve to do so.
I have never been so lonely in my life since Peter, and Char kicked me out. I needed a companion to even out my emotions, but all other nomads are scared to death of me, and I was not in the right frame of mind to create a companion. Maybe Peter is right that I am overly emo, and have my head up my ass.
I have lived everywhere possible these last few years spending time on every continent. For some reason, I find myself on this day in Hanover, New Hampshire. The days are starting to get shorter and the weather colder; it was the perfect place to be. It had been days, since I hunted, and I knew I needed to, but it felt wrong to hunt a human on this day.
This was the day I almost took a human life that meant something to me. I cared for Bella, more than I should have and definitely more than I let on. She was special in so many ways, and I ruined her life. I heard that over the next few days the entire family left Forks because of my near-fatal mistake.
For some reason, I remember this day each year when it hits, and I always let it get the better of me. Something always gets destroyed and I have to leave that temporary home. I told myself that this year was going to be different. I was not going to let the pixie get the better of me.
It was a Friday night, so I knew the bars would be filled with sinners. I will say that I only eat those that deserve to die. Those that kill, rape or beat those around them. Being around a college you have lots of lust that just rolls out of each the bars, clubs and even the restaurants.
It was just after eleven when I decided that I would hunt tonight and maybe change my life around. I was just coming down the back side of an alleyway that housed one of the night clubs when I felt the lust and the fear.
This is what I was looking for. Saving a life, while taking another. As I neared, I could tell it was a group of guys with two women. This was going to be a feast I thought, as her smell hit me. Her blood has not changed at all in ten years; it was still the sweetest I have ever smelt. Why is she here in New Hampshire?
I rounded the corner to find a group of five guys, Bella and one other female. Both girls have been beaten badly, and the guys were in the process of ripping off their clothes. I did not think I just acted on pure instincts. My feast for tonight would have to wait. I quickly snapped each of the guy's necks before they even knew what was happening.
I bent down to check on Bella and her friend. They both were pretty bad off, and needed medical attention now. Bella's friend was unconscious, but I could see the recognition in Bella's eyes yet I felt no emotion coming off of her.
I did the only thing I could think of doing. I called the number I had not called in ten years. I had come across their scents earlier in the day and knew they were, around so I knew they could help more than I could.
"Jasper, who do I owe for this call?" He said picking the phone up on the first ring.
"I need your help." I stated through clinched teeth.
"Where and what kind of help son," He said sensing the urgency of the matter.
"Medical help. I am in Hanover," I said.
"On my way. Emmett is with me as we were out hunting," He stated knowing that it was a good idea not to surprise me.
I had to take a step back and try and get some fresh air. All the blood was calling to me, but at the same time I knew I needed to protect Bella.
"Just do it," I heard from behind me.
I turned to see Bella looking at me with pleading eyes.
I walked over and knelt beside her; I don't know how she was conscious with the amount of blood she had lost and was losing. I placed my hand around the wound that was seeping the most blood.
"I can't take your life." I told her still not feeling any kind of emotions from her.
She just looked at me for a moment longer before she lost consciousness. It was shortly after that when Carlisle and Emmett arrived. When they both realized who it was I wanted him to save Carlisle was all doctor, and told Emmett and I to deal with the bodies.
I did not want to leave her side, but I knew he was right. We needed to deal with the mess I had made. Not a word was said while we disposed of the bodies, and as we were heading back my phone rang. It was Carlisle informing us that he had both girls stable and ready to be transported to their place and that Esme was already on the way with the car, and that we could just head over there.
Emmett led the way still not saying any words. I felt how proud he was of me though. I could also feel his love, and it was not just for me, but for Bella. It took us ten minutes to reach the place outside of town. Carlisle had not made it back yet, and I was getting worried.
As soon as I heard the car, I was out the door. I could only hear one weak heartbeat as the car pulled to a stop.
Knowing what I was about to ask Carlisle said, "I had to drop her friend of at the hospital. She needed surgery if she was going to live. Bella has lost a lot of blood, but she will live. Now tell me what you know."
"I was out hunting scum and felt their lust and the fear. I had planned on feasting, but when I smelt Bella all I could think of was saving her and protecting her," I said.
"I had heard you went back to your old ways; I had always hoped you would stick to our way of life," he told me as he carried Bella into one of the bedrooms.
"That night changed me; shit Peter can't even stand my ass." I told him.
I heard a few chuckles from behind us.
"How did you know I was here, and why are you here?" Carlisle asked.
"As to why I am here, not an easy answer. I never seem to stay in one place very long, and it's just by chance I am here. For how I knew you were here; I ran across your scents earlier today," I told him.
"How did you not attack and kill both of these girls? Bella's alone should have put you over the edge."
"To tell the truth Carlisle, I can't answer that. All that I can say is that I wanted to protect her, not drink from her," I said as Carlisle gave me an odd look.
"So, you have no desire for her blood even now?"
"No, I just want to protect her."
"I have done everything I can for now, let's leave so Esme and Rose can clean her up and get her out of those clothes," he said making me growl. "Son, you can come back in after she is cleaned up." He said touching my shoulder as to calm me.
We went downstairs and out the back door and Emmett joined us.
"Bro it's good to see you and thanks for protecting my little sis," he said slapping me on the back.
"Did you all know she was here?" I asked.
"No," they both answered at the same time.
We talked for a while longer before Esme came in; to inform me I could go up and rejoin Bella. Esme hugged me and thanked me for saving her little girl. It seems that everyone was forgetting that she is twenty-eight now and is older than anyone of us, or I should say older than us when we went through the change. And if they loved her so much why did they not know she was here?
I ran up the stairs needing to be close to her. I sat on the bed next to her caressing her cheek while listening to them talk downstairs. Rose was in an uproar because I broke her family up, and now I brought back the same human that helped to destroy her precious family.
I gathered, from what I heard that soon after everyone left Forks that Alice and Edward took off and have not been back since. Rose, blames Bella and I for the break-up of the family. Little does she know that Alice had already done that, but I was doing as she asked and trying to play nice.
No one had ever gone back to check on Bella and had no idea why she would be in New Hampshire. Rose asked Emmett to leave with her as she was not going to stay in a house with the two people that she hated most. Emmett told her she could leave, but he was staying here as he had lost his little sis once and was not going to lose her again.
I hated bringing this upon them, but I needed Carlisle's help to save Bella. I know that before she passed out, she told me to just do it, but did she mean to change her or kill her? This was why I needed Carlisle's help to save her. I will not condemn her to this life unless it is still what she wants. I know when she was with Edward, she had wanted it, but would she want it now and to be with me?
Why am I even thinking about her being with me? Why do I feel so protective towards her? I looked down at her closely. She was the same height as she was back then. Her hair was a little longer, and her body had changed from that of a teen to one of an adult. She was the loveliest creature, I have ever laid my eyes on.
As I looked at her all, I could think about was claiming her as my mate. I was so deep in thought trying to figure out why I was feeling the way I was that I did not hear anyone come up the stairs or into the room. It was not until Carlisle went to check on Bella that I came to my senses and found myself growling at Carlisle as I took a protective stance over Bella.
"Jasper, calm down, I am not going to hurt her. I just need to check her band-aids; we need to keep them clean so no infection sets in. I see now that we had everything all wrong in Forks."
That last statement brought me back to here and now. I just stared at him for the longest time.
"What do you mean we had everything wrong in Forks?" I asked him needing to see if I was on the same track.
"Bella is Edward's singer yes, but she is your mate and always has been; I see it now and don't know why I did not see it then." He told me as he was checking all her bands-aids.
"If that's true, then why did I try to attack her on her birthday all those years ago?"
"Jasper, think about it. I don't think you were going to attack her, but protect her from us as you could feel each of our blood lust." He said as he finished up with what he needed to change.
"All these years thinking I tried to kill her has been eating me alive," I told him.
"I know. We've all blamed you, like Rose still is, but seeing you last night, and this morning with her has shown me that things may not have been the way we saw them back then."
"I never meant to cause problems, if you want, I will find us a place to stay, and you can come there and take care of her needs," I told him not wanting to cause more problems.
"No, you are not taking my daughter away from me again," Esme said running into the room causing me to growl and take my protective stance over Bella again.
It took Carlisle a few moments to get me to calm down and not attack his mate. This just made it all the more apparent to both of us that Bella is my mate. He asked me a question that I had not been prepaid to answer. "Why did you leave that night?"
I thought for a while how to answer it truthfully. "That afternoon Alice told me I was not her mate and that the time had come for her to claim her true mate. She asked me for a divorce and for me to leave, but not until after the party, and I was to act like nothing was wrong between us until I left."
"Who is Alice's true mate?" I heard Rose ask from the hallway not wanting to come in after what I almost did to Esme.
"That is for her to tell you not me," I answered back.
"How is she going to answer that when I haven't spoken to her in almost ten years?" She spat back at me.
'Let's just say Bella and I were part of a sick little game of hers to open her mates mind, and body to love," I told her in a voice full of hurt, and disgust.
I've hated how Alice played me, and voicing it just made the hurt, and disgust I felt for, so long come right back.
"That's why they left?" Esme questioned me.
"I think so, but I can't be sure." I answered backed no longer caring what those two did.
We all settled down and talked quietly while Bella slept. I still could not feel any pain or emotions coming from her. I asked Carlisle why this was happening. He thinks it's Bella shutting me out just like she shut out Edward.
After talking a little bit Rose seemed to calm down and understand that it was not just my action, but the action of Alice that broke up the family. After we worked out all of our differences, and Carlisle checked Bella again they left me alone.
I knew they were still in the house, but they all seemed to understand that I needed to be left alone with my own thoughts and my mate. I will not force myself on her; it will be her choice to be my mate. Over the next couple of days Bella still slept and Carlisle would come and check on her and make sure that she was healing with no infections setting in.
He did not understand why she was still unconscious. I told him that it feels more like she is just sleeping and not unconscious. I asked him if her friend made it, and he said that she had but she was in a medical induced coma to allow her body to heal. It made me wonder if that is what was happening with Bella. That somehow she knew that she needed to heal. I know that seeing me again must have brought up some memories, and this may also be why she is not waking up.
I started talking to her as I caressed her cheek, or running my fingers through her hair. It had been five days, since I found her and Esme entered the room quietly asking me, please go and hunt as she can see each time she walks past the room that it is very much needed. She even offered to sit with Bella while I went to hunt.
I knew I needed to, but I did not want to leave Bella. As I started to stand so I could leave Bella reached out and grabbed my hand. I turned and look at her. Her eyes were still closed.
"Bella darlin' I will be back I promise. Esme will be with you." I told her speaking softly.
Her grip on my hand increased. I sat back down she did not release my hand, but her grip decreased. I reached up with my other hand and caressed, her cheek, while asking her to open her beautiful eyes for me. I sat there talking to her as I have the past few days wanting and needing her to open her eyes. I was once again lost in my own world that revolved around her.
I could hear the difference in her breathing, and I knew she was awake, just not opening her eyes. I longed to look at them.
"Bella, Darlin', please open your eyes for me," I pleaded with her.
"They're not really here. They left me. They don't care for me. They left me alone; they're not real. It's all a dream. I have needed them so much, but they left me because they no longer loved and wanted me. He said it was all a game." She said softly like she was talking to herself.
I growled at her last sentence. He told her it was just a game? What kind of sick person does that? Oh, one just like that evil pixie bitch.
"Darlin' I assure you I am as real as you are," I told her caressing her cheek again only to have her lean into my touch.
"You have to be in my mind; you can't be real. You left me," she said as tears started to roll down her face.
"Bella, sweetheart we are real, please open your eyes," Esme asked now sitting on the other side of the bed.
"You left me; you didn't want me any longer it was all a game," she cried out.
The rest of the family had now joined us in the bedroom. Feeling their love for Bella was the only thing that was keeping me grounded and not attacking to protect my mate.
"Darlin', I want you more than you may ever realize," I told her.
"How? Why? You left me?" Was her words as I wiped the tears off her face.
I was not sure how to answer that. I have been trying to send her some calm, but just as I can't feel her, she does not feel what I send to her.
"Bella, we were told that you no longer wanted us in your life," Carlisle told her from beside Esme.
She blinked and the closed her eyes tight shaking her head from side to side saying it's just a dream a sick dream because she missed us.
"Lies…lies…lies. I have the same dream every year, and it always turns out to be just a dream; it can't be real," she said trying to convince herself it was a dream.
"Belly, I don't dream and you are right in front of me," Emmett said.
"Every year the same voices are in my head in my dreams, it's just a dream like every other year."
"Isabella Maria Swan, I bet my life on it that you don't dream of me," Rose said.
I don't remember ever seeing her move so fast as she sat up, and opened those eyes looking straight at Rose.
"Shit, shit, shit it's not a dream," she said looking wide-eyed at Rose before adding, "What happened? Why am I here and where is Carol?"
"Do you remember Friday night?" Carlisle asked.
"Yea, Carol forced me to go out for my birthday. I wasn't having a good time, and she got fed up with me and dragged me outside into the alleyway to try and talk sense into me. Shit that all happened," she turned and looked at me.
"Carol is in the hospital, but she will be fine," Carlisle told her.
She still hadn't taken her eyes off of me.
"If she is in the hospital why I am here?" She asked.
"You weren't as bad off, and Jasper could not bear to be away from you," Carlisle explained.
"I don't understand any of this; your eyes were red," she said sounding frustrated.
"I will explain everything soon. You need to eat and I need to go and hunt," I told her.
She just continued to look at me and nod her okay on me going hunting. Knowing that Bella is still weak I picked her up carrying her down to the kitchen.
"I will be back as soon as possible, and then we will talk," I told her placing a kiss on her forehead.
As I neared the door, I heard her give a huff. I knew Esme would make sure she eats a good meal. Wanting as well as needing to stay as close to the house as possible I went after the first scent that I caught. As I took down the buck and drained it, I was feeling anxious to get back to Bella. I took down two more does before heading back to the house. I knew my eyes will be a muddy red since it's been years, since I had, last drank from an animal and not human.
As I neared the door, I heard Bella asking Esme why, does it hurt so much to have me way from her. She said it hurt more than when Edward had ripped her heart out with his lies. Hearing this made my dead heart sing to life. She felt the mating pull, just as I. Will she accept it and be willing to become my mate in every way though?
As soon as the door shut behind Jasper, I got that hollow ache in my chest that made it hard to breathe. I tried to let it go and just talk normally with Esme as she prepaid me, something to eat. I have longed for this day to come about. Every day since that faithful day I have longed for my family to come back for me.
We talked about their family and nothing personal about me. Esme told me how Edward told them that I no longer wanted to be part of their family and had asked them all to leave so I could live a normal life. How could he tell such a lie? How could they believe such a lie? Rose said it was not just his word but Alice's also that pushed them to accept it.
Alice told them that she no longer saw me becoming one of them and that what Edward was saying has to be the truth. I guess when you have relied on their gifts for so long it's hard not to trust their words. They explained how soon after they had left Forks Edward and Alice took off, and they have not seen or heard from them since.
They told me that they had been in New Hampshire for about three months. Rose and Emmett, were attending Dartmouth, while Carlisle was working at the hospital. I was not ready to share what had taken place over the past ten years.
The longer Jasper was gone, the more it hurt. I had to know why it hurt so much, so I asked Esme, and she just looked at me with such love in her eyes and told me, "He will explain everything to you dear." I quickly finished up the sandwich and tea that Esme had made for me when I felt him near.
As the back door opened again I could not help but look towards it and smile as he came through the door. The smile that I saw on his face radiated like the sun radiates heat. As he wrapped his arms around me, he said, "Darlin', we have lots to talk about let's go back up stairs."
I soon found myself lying back on the same bed, but it had been freshly made. I felt safe in his arms, something that I had not felt for many years. I found my emotions were all out of whack and tears started to flow again.
"Darlin', why the tears?" He asked me.
"Can't you feel how happy I am?" I asked him not understanding why he couldn't feel me.
"I can't feel any of your emotions and have not been able, to since I came across you," He told me.
"Am I that defective that now you can't feel me like he could not read my mind?" I asked him needing to know what was wrong with me.
I could not help but burst into laughter when I heard four other vampires yell that I was not defective. I felt so much at home, and I never wanted to leave. The thought of losing them again brought the tears back up.
We laid there for a while not talking, just staring at each other as I got hold of my emotions and stopped the tears.
"Why do I feel so safe with you, and I can tell by your eyes you are no longer a veggie vamp?" I asked needing that answer, which should be the same as to why I felt crushed while he was gone.
"Bella, I've not lived as part of the family since that night, and went back to our natural food, but for you, I will gladly go back to drinking from animals. What you felt while I was away and why you feel safe with me right now is what happens when one's soul recognizes their soul mate. I know that Alice had us all believing that you were Edward's, but that is not true as you can see and feel it as deeply as I." he told me while never taking his eyes off mine.
"You know I never blamed you for that night. As an empath you had to feel the others blood lust and Edwards had to be the worst, since I am his singer. I told them to make sure you knew I had already forgiven you, but I guess since you never came back to the house that message was never given to you." I explained to him.
We talked for a while longer, him telling me about his time alone along with him telling me his story and about his brother Peter, who kicked him out because he was being too emo, which caused me to laugh. Esme called up and asked if I was ready for some dinner a little while later, and the mention of food caused my stomach to growl causing Jasper to laugh at me.
He carried me back downstairs where we found the rest of the family sitting around the table. A plate of some sort of chicken dish was sitting there. It was something I never had eaten before, but it was really good, and I told Esme thank you for the great meal.
I knew why they were all gathered around the table; they wanted to know about me and my life and why I was here. This was going to be a long story. When I got done with my food, I asked if we could move to the living room.
Jasper picked me up to carry me, and I tried to refuse, saying that I was capable of walking. He looked so hurt that I let him carry me. He whispered in my ear, "I just got you, and I am not willing to let you go." This sent a shiver through my body and not because I was cold, it was the thought of being wanted.
Jasper sat in the chair facing the love seat and couch which now housed the other two couples.
"Where do you all want me to start?" I asked needing a starting point.
"Start with what happened after your Birthday," Jasper suggested.
I explained how Edward took me into the woods to talk two days after that night saying that they were leaving, and I could tell, by the way, he looked at me that I was not going with you all. I told them how he found out that I was not his true mate, but part of a game to get him ready for his true mate. He told me that he never really loved me, and as he said those words, for some reason, they made sense to me because I never felt good enough for him.
I told them how I got lost and fell, and it was hours later that a search party found me. Jasper growled at the thought of me being left in the woods. I told them how it took me months to heal from my broken heart, but it was with the help of Jake that it was possible for me to heal, causing Jasper to growl once again.
I told them how I found out that Jake, and many of the other teens were werewolves, and that they first killed Laurent and then later Victoria and a small army of newborns. When I said this, the growl that emanated from Jasper made me turn and look at him.
I knew from his story earlier that newborns are very dangerous. I touched his face and looked deep in his eyes saying, "I am here that is all that matters."
I waited a few seconds before continuing on with my life story. I told them how after I graduated that I went to school as planned in Alaska for the first four years getting a Bachelor's Degree in Literature, then I continued four more years to get my doctorate, and I am a second-year professor at Dartmouth in the English department teaching both American Literature, and Romantic Literature.
I told them how a few months after I got my first degree Charlie had been shot on duty. In addition, that Renee and Phil still live in Florida, and I have a half brother, which was born shortly after Charlie had died. Leave it to Emmett to be the one to ask if I have a boyfriend.
"God no Emmett, guys stay away from me. I'm too smart and nerdy for their likings. Edward has been the only boyfriend I've ever had." I said this causing Jasper to pull me close to him.
We all talked for a while longer, me wanting to know why I had not seen either Rose or Emmett around campus or why they had not figured out that I was there. Rose, explained that she and Emmett had most of their class over in the Engineering Department and neither of them ventured anywhere near the English Department.
Soon, everyone left to go hunting and to give Jasper and I some alone time so we could figure out what the next step would be for us, and once again, I was up, stairs lying on the bed. This time, however, Jasper had me pinned to the bed while he hovered over me.
"Darlin' you were saying that Edward had been your only boyfriend, that my sweet girl makes me very happy to know that I will be your first and last," he said right before capturing my lips in a kiss.
The way he kissed was not careful like Edwards; this was the type of kiss girls dream about. When he ran his tongue over my lips to ask for entrance, I gasped in surprise, which gave him the entrance he wanted. My body was on fire, one hand went into his hair while the other went around him trying to pull him closer to me. I had needs and desires that I had never felt before.
He pulled back so I could breathe, but he kissed down my jawbone to my ear. When he pulled my earlobe into his mouth and started sucking on it, my hips bucked upwards seeking friction. I moaned as he started to lick down my neck stopping to suck on my pulse point.
I had no experience in this realm, and I would do anything this man above me asked of me. When he kissed me again I tried to show him just how much I wanted him. When he pulled back again to allow me to breathe, he quickly undressed me kissing and licking my newly exposed skin. When he ran his tongue across one of my nipples, I came undone. My body tingled from head to toes and shook as; wave after wave over came me. If he can do this to my body with just touches and kisses, I am not sure I can handle what he would do to my body when he was buried deep inside me.
When he let loose of my nipple, he looked into his eyes, I saw that his was now black, but not because he needed to feed but because of the lust and desire he had in them. I had no idea what he was looking for until he spoke.
"Darlin', my every instincts are telling me to claim my mate, and mark you as such. Are you ready to spend all eternity with me?" He asked still gazing into my eyes.
"I've never been so sure of anything in my life. Take what is yours; mark me as yours for all eternity." I told him hoping he would feel the sincerity of my words.
The rest, of my clothes were quickly taken off as were his. He ran a finger over my clit and down in between my lips feeling how wet and ready I was for him. He raised my legs up where they were almost touching my chest opening me wide for him, and in one swift motion, he entered me. He stilled once he was fully inside me. I was biting down on my bottom lip trying not to scream from the pain.
He soon was moving in and out of me and at first, I still just felt the pain, but that did not last for long as I felt my walls start to clamp down on him, each and every muscle of my body was tight, and I tingled from head to toe. He lowered my legs to wrap around his waist and leaned down and started licking and sucking on my pulse point.
"Cum now," He said and I let loose as I felt his teeth sink into my skin.
I felt him bite a few more times before he lies down beside me pulling me tight against his chest.
"Darlin', I'll await you to join me for all eternity. I am sorry for the pain; I've caused you." Those were the last word I remember hearing as the burning became too intense.