A/N: Ever since Dragon Age II came out I have had tons of ideas whirling around in my head for these two, but I've only just now gotten enough courage to actually post anything I have written. I have a few more ideas floating in my head, so I will be updating hopefully soon. This story is post the "this is too much," speech. Might be a little silly in some parts, but just one of my takes on what Fenris and Hawke's relationship could be like. Thank you KRISTEN for being such an amazing friend and giving me the courage to post this. I love you. KIM!
Summary: Hawke and her friends enjoy an outing. We learn that Hawke has a silly little fear and Fenris helps her conquer it.
Hawke had been able to convince Knight-Captain Cullen to release Bethany from the gallows for a few days for good behavior. Fenris didn't even want to know what she did to persuade him.
In celebration all of Hawke's companions ventured towards Sundermount for a 'camping trip' as she called it. Apparently it was a tradition within the Hawke family, though Fenris was finding it difficult to see the appeal. Trudging through dirt to sleep on the ground? He'd done that countless times before, but never willingly. But since their one and only night together, he took every opportunity she gave him to spend time with her. He was ashamed, embarrassed even that he couldn't bring himself to have something more than a night of passion with a woman he might love, but he just wasn't ready. And for her part, she seemed to understand. At first she had been more careful with her flirtation, and more mindful of showing him intimacy, but that was to be expected. Gradually, however, it became clear that there was still something between them that neither one were willing to completely give up on. The timing just wasn't there. Fenris had too many inner demons to deal with, and Hawke was handling the loss of her mother and newly being deemed Champion. They now shared a silent promise of devotion to one another. Holding hands here, a kiss on the cheek there, and a few prolonged hugs in between so far had been enough to sustain their desire for one another. Perhaps one day it might not, but for now it was enough. They had too much on their plates to have to worry about the pressures of a new romance. He had to be careful though, a repeat of him walking out on her might not go over so well a second time. But they were still an item whether they were going to admit it or not. He was only hers. She was only his.
Due to this being a leisurely outing, Hawke and Fenris trailed behind the others with her Mabari. Merrill, swearing that she knew the perfect spot to camp, led the way with the rest of the women. Leaving Varric, Anders, and Sebastian to float in between the two groups.
Fenris was relishing in the solitude they were allowed by trailing behind. Although they were hardly speaking, just being able to reach out and brush her hand or the small of her back without the other's prodding eyes was something to be appreciated. Too many times had he been cornered and questioned about their relationship. He always gave the same answer, "You are imagining things. Hawke and I are only friends." Perhaps he stretched the truth slightly. They were definitely more than friends, but what exactly he wasn't sure. Whatever they were had been working out well for the both of them. He didn't wish to ruin a good thing by being forced to label it. He believed Hawke felt much the same way. Many times he had heard her tell the others to sod off when they pestered her for the same answers.
As they walked Fenris glanced over in her direction. The wind had picked up and the cool breeze was blowing through her hair. She tucked some loose strands behind her ear and bent down to pet her Mabari, smiling brightly as the dog wiggled and danced with delight. These were his favorite moments with her. The ones when she wasn't even aware he was watching. It was in times such as this that he thanked the Maker for blessing him with such a beautiful, understanding, one of a kind woman. She had crept into his life, tearing down the walls of hate and mistrust he had built. He was certain no other person in Thedas would have been able to accomplish such a goal. She was patient with him, never pushed. Soft when he needed it, but knew when to be hard with him as well. In his admiration of her a deep contented sigh pushed out of his lungs, causing her to look up at him. Her smiled widened as she straightened back up and walked towards him.
"Thinking of anything interesting," she asked tilting her head at him and clasped her hands behind her back.
"Your hair is getting longer," he grinned and reached to pull some stray strands through his fingers.
The smirk on her face told him that she knew his thoughts had gone a little deeper than that. "I was thinking about cutting it," she responded choosing not to push him on it. She moved her hand to hold the hair he was twirling in his fingers, lightly brushing his skin as she did so, purposefully no doubt.
No one could be more perfect to him than she was. He wet his lips and thought about kissing her, but knew better than to do that so openly. If they had been in private he might have been bold enough, but they had learned that in the company of others talk and whispers would inevitably ensue, and they would be forced to address their odd relationship. Reluctantly he pulled away from her and started walking again, without hesitation she fell in right beside him.
Hawke smiled to herself. The two of them had not really said anything important to one another, but he was still able to give her butterflies. What a blessing he had been. Exactly what she had needed, when she needed it.
Their night of intimacy had terrified her nearly as much as it had him. She'd known she wasn't ready for a relationship, having to answer to someone. But in the heat of the moment all her pent up desires had swelled and she momentarily threw her inhibition to the wind. At first she had been a little insulted when he left so quickly, but after she had time to think about the repercussions of what could have happened if he stayed she was grateful. Right now she would make a terrible partner. There were too many things she was still working out for herself to add another person to the mix. Though at first there had been some awkwardness, she was so unsure how to act around him. But after one night of wine and some playful banter the uncomfortable feelings melted away. Now there was a silent understanding between them. She knew he wasn't ready to make any sort of commitment, and though she never mentioned it to him neither was she. He was there when she needed him, but knew when to give her space and wasn't constantly asking her about her feelings or what she was thinking. Half the time she didn't know herself. But there was one thing she did know, no other man could claim her heart the way he had. Most women might find his apprehension intimidating, but she wouldn't have it any other way. The Maker had sent her a man who gave her exactly what she needed. He was a gift, and one day when they were both ready it would be amazing. Her heart swelled with the knowledge that she actually had something to look forward to and on impulse she reached out for his hand. He interlaced their fingers and rubbed his thumb along her skin before bringing it to his lips kissing it gently and then releasing it. She sighed in satisfaction. He was perfect for her. It was just right amount of affection she needed to know that he cared, but not too much to make her uneasy. The two of them looked towards one another, grinning widely. Both elated about their unspoken bond.
"Oh look how cute," Merrill spoke from a few yards ahead of them, quietly enough that they wouldn't hear. "Now they both have puppy eyes."
"What was that?" Bethany asked looking back to the two of them in confusion.
"Nothing," Aveline countered quickly and pushed her forward so she couldn't gawk. She for one knew that importance of privacy, especially for people such as the two of them. Both so reluctant to speak about their feelings. Hawke seemed happy with the way things were going and she intended to keep it that way. "Merrill are we getting closer to this 'spot' of yours. I grow tired of walking," she changed the subject.
It seemed to work for the dalish looked around at her surroundings apparently forgetting about them. "Yes, I believe so. If I'm not mistaken it's just over the hillside."
"Good, I'm starting to sweat everywhere," Isabela chimed in rolling her shoulders. "And it's not the good kind."
"There is a good kind of sweat," Merrill asked innocently.
"Oh yes," she answered. "A really good kind."
Merrill tilted her head in confusion, clearly not understanding what the pirate was getting at but the let the topic go.
"I for one am ready to relax a little," Bethany spoke up. "Being cooped in the gallows is terribly dreadful." Her mind began to wander back to all the nights she had cried herself to sleep, missing her family. Luckily her depressing train of thought was interrupted by the Mabari barking and yipping. She turned around to see him running excitedly towards them before cutting into the bushes.
"Oh Maker," Hawke sighed running to catch up with him. "What's he found now?" She whistled out her special call for him. When he didn't hurry back to her, she did it again a little louder. A loud rustle of the foliage signified that he was returning. Hawke knelt down to receive him as he came bursting out of the bushes. "What have you got there boy," she asked pulling the branch from his mouth. "Oh that's a fine stick," she smiled whirling it around in her hand. The mabari crouched down on his haunches wiggling his nub of a tail back and forth. Hawke laughed and chucked the wood through the air. The dog raced in the direction of the flying object, jumping and catching it before it touched the ground then hurried back to her. "Now I've done it," she chuckled. "You'll have me doing this for hours," she smiled at him. He dropped the stick from his mouth and whined back at her, sitting down a little impatiently waiting for her to throw it again. Her head dropped in defeat. "You know I can't say 'no' to that face." The Mabari barked happily and pounced towards her showering her face with kisses. Hawke laughed and moved her head trying to keep his tongue from touching her mouth.
"Sister," Bethany crossed her arms at her chest and smiled. "This is exactly why you can't get a suitable noble to court you."
"What in all of Thedas makes you think that I give two shits about the nobles of Hightown," Hawke asked still laughing as she patted her Mabari's head, finally able to stand to her feet now that his affection had worn off.
"Besides," Isabela cut in. "Those nobles like Hawke just fine. The other night I was at the Blooming Rose, some young man named Hamlin just kept going on and on about how wonderful you were." She clasped her hands under her chin looking off in the distance as if daydreaming. "How your eyes sparkled like diamonds. How your skin is as soft as silk."
"I don't see how he would know how soft my skin is," Hawke frowned. "In fact," she propped her hands at her waist and jutted her hip out. "I don't think I've ever even spoken to him." She narrowed her eyes and looked down to her Mabari. "We're going to have to pay this Hamlin a visit." He growled menacingly then grabbed a pine cone in his mouth and began shaking it back and forth trying to shred it to bits. "You read my mind," Hawke smiled and then bent down to be at eye level with him again. "Why don't you tell Bethany what we think of the nobles of Kirkwall." Her mabari walked a little towards her sister and began making gagging noises, heaving his back up and down. "That's right," Hawke chuckled. "Uck," she covered her mouth with her hand and began mimicking throwing up.
Bethany rolled her eyes. "You can't be alone forever sister. Sooner or later you have to settle down and make babies."
Hawke laughed in disbelief. "Don't hold your breath. And who said I was alone?" Her eyebrow arched up as she counted out on her fingers. "I have Bodahn, and Sandal, and now Orana." Her dog whined. "Well of course you, boy. That goes without saying," she shot him a wink.
"You're hopeless," Bethany sighed and turned around beginning to walk again.
Fenris couldn't help but smile at Hawke as she looked over to him. Although the idea of her rushing off to get married and make babies was dreadfully unappealing, knowing that she had no desire to do so sated his jealousy. She strolled behind him to take up walking on the opposite side. Her fingers wrapped around his forearm as she caught up, but she quickly withdrew them. Fenris didn't mind her touching but was glad she was just as reserved as he was.
Sebastian stopped walking and waited for them to catch up with him. "Would it not be wise to settle down with a noble someday, Hawke," he asked.
"Maybe one day I will settle down, but I don't see how whether or not it is with a noble makes much of a difference. A man is a man. His ranking in society does little to peak my interest," she answered honestly.
"Oh. I see. It is not that you are put off by nobles. You just will not limit yourself to them," he looked to her for clarification.
"I suppose you could say that. But can we please talk about something else? I will never understand why everyone is so enthralled with the idea of me settling down. Why should I be looking for a man to take care of me? I've done just fine without one for quite some time. If I ever choose to settle down it will be at a time and with a person of my choosing." Hawke suddenly stopped her rant and looked at the two men beside her. Sebastian's lip was quirked up in confusion and Fenris was smirking to himself. "Sorry. I tend to get a little riled up about that topic. Mother was quite persistent."
"Forgive me for bringing it up," Sebastian bowed and sped up his pace to catch up with Varric and Anders.
Hawke chuckled at his retreating back and looked over to Fenris to see him laughing as well.
"I rather like seeing you get flustered," he smiled. "You look…" he paused searching for the right word, "cute."
"I look cute?" She stopped and crossed her arms.
"Yes you look cute," he laughed. Clearly she was not accustomed to be called that. "Now will you come on and stop your pouting. We're falling behind from the rest of the group."
She relented her posture and started walking again. "If I am cute, then you are adorable," she looked at him as if she'd won some extensive debate.
"Fine, I will allow it. But only you are given permission to use that word in reference to me and never in the company of others," he replied coolly.
The smile shining on her face made his heart swell knowing that it was for him. Since the others were so far ahead of them, Fenris placed his hand around her waist, resting it at her hip as he gently guided her up the hill. He never thought he would ever enjoy physical contact, but with Hawke his mind was constantly thinking up new ways to 'accidently' touch her when others were around. This was very unexpected, but very needed. He found himself thinking again how lucky he was to have someone so perfect for him in his life. The fact that she allowed him to be a part of hers at all was still too much for Fenris to comprehend.
As they reached the top of the hill Merrill came running back to them, "You have to see this. Oh, it's more beautiful than I remembered. Hawke you will love it!" She grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her up to their camping spot. Which didn't look that spectacular to her. Some nice room to put in tents, some pretty trees providing shade, but Hawke could have found something like this a few miles back. "Ummm…It's great Merrill."
"Oh no, this is what is wonderful," she giggled and led her to an opening in the tree line next to their camp. A waterfall that must have been fifty feet or higher rolled down the mountain, emptying into a large pool surrounded by a large rock bed. Hawke stepped forward mouth slightly opened and saw that the river continued on down the mountain past their campsite. Trees blocked out most of the sun and there was a small opening in the rocks that allowed for easier access to the water.
"Merrill this is wonderful." She turned and gave a heartfelt smile to her.
Everyone was eager to get in the water after their long hike up the mountain. So Hawke and Aveline agreed to stay behind and set up camp. Fenris felt uncomfortable leaving her to handle all the work but she insisted, so he and the others changed into their swimwear.
"Umm, Anders what are those?" Isabela cackled as the mage exited the woods.
"Look, it's hot enough under all those robes. Sometimes it's nice to breathe," he inhaled deeply and let his hands run down his mostly exposed body. The swimwear he had chosen could barely be called such.
"Those are briefs," Bethany laughed. "Maker Anders, they barely cover up anything at all!"
"I don't see you complaining about Isabela," he scowled and pointed towards the pirate who was as expected scantily clad in a barely there two piece.
"Hey when you've got it," she winked over at him swaying her hips as she walked towards the water.
Everyone else had been as modest as possible, opting for shorts or tasteful one pieces. Well all except Fenris. He still wore his tight leggings, not eager to expose more of his markings than necessary.
The water felt magnificent gradually coming up to their waist the further out they ventured, and closer to the waterfall dipping down much deeper. Fenris walked to the deepest part and immersed himself in the water, letting it drench his hair and skin. When he came up for air he noticed Sebastian looking wide eyed and open mouthed back at their camp. He peered through the opening in the tree line to see Aveline waiting patiently in a pair of tight shorts and a tank top as Hawke stripped out of her armor. Her top came first and Fenris felt his pants tighten as her torso stretched and arched to remove the clothing, revealing only her breast binding underneath. A sting of jealousy hit his gut at others being allowed to see her like this and he shot Sebastian an evil glare. The prince was completely unaware of his ice filled stare and wiped his mouth before swallowing audibly. Hawke then moved down to her pants and began shimming out of them completely unaware of how incredibly sensual her movements were. She bent down in a painfully erotic way to pull her feet free of her leggings.
"Careful, now. You might burn a hole through her with the way you're staring," Varric casually commented towards Sebastian.
He shook his head at being caught and began rubbing the back of his neck as he laughed nervously. "Sorry," he chuckled. "I just have never…I mean to say that she is always…Hawke just looks so…I mean with all her armor…"
"Easy," the dwarf put his hand up. "You're starting to sound like Merrill.
"Sorry," he muttered and turned away from Hawke, but not before sneaking in one last peak over his shoulder.
Fenris however didn't stop his staring. He watched Hawke intently as she walked towards the water. She looked up from her chatter with Aveline and met his eyes, smiling as she did so. He couldn't help but grin back and he began moving to greet her.
"Sorry everyone," she addressed them as she got in the water. "I forgot proper swimming attire. I hope my small clothes aren't too revealing. But by the looks of what Isabela and Anders are wearing I think I'm fine," she grinned and stretched her arms over her head.
"Umm, it's quite fine, Hawke," Sebastian offered and awkwardly stared at her.
"Uh-huh," she cut her eyes to him. "Why don't you draw a picture? It might last a little longer," she smiled but didn't look at him.
The prince said nothing but sunk back down into the water, clearly embarrassed that Hawke called him out.
Hawke moved towards Fenris and immersed herself in the water as she placed her hands at his waist, happy that she was able to openly show him affection without prying eyes. "Looks like you forgot yours too," she smirked up at him and tugged on his waistband.
He only made a pleasured hum as he ran one hand up her thigh to the small of her back, wishing that he could pull her closer to him. Something about being in the water and the near nudeness of both their bodies made him forget about any invisible boundaries they had set up.
"How do you like camping so far," she smiled and curled her hands on his abdomen.
Fenris leaned into her face, and whispered lowly in her ear, "It is quite enjoyable."
"And we're just getting started," her breath tickled down his neck and he felt her body begin to move to close the gap between them.
As he brought his other hand under the water to guide her, Merrill yelled from up above them.
"Everyone watch this!"
All eyes moved to the top of the waterfall as Merrill raised her hands in the air and took a running start before jumping over the edge freefalling all the way down. Fenris felt Hawke's hand grip his waist and he turned to look at her. A nervous smile was spreading across her face as Merrill reappeared from under the water. She tucked her hair behind her ear needlessly and her drug her bottom lip between her teeth. "Everything alright," he asked as his thumb rubbed across her hip bone.
She smiled back up at him weakly. "It's fine. I'm fine." But it was obvious that she was shaken up about something.
"That was amazing! Did you see it," Merrill giggled as she swam back towards them. "Everyone you have to try it. There's a path on the other side of those trees that leads to the top," Merrill couldn't hide the excitement on her voice as she waved them over to follow her.
One by one everyone exited the water and began retreating to the trail. All except Varric, who said he wasn't about to fall to his death. He was having enough trouble as it was in the shallowest part of the water. Hawke stayed behind to keep him company. But it was still quite enjoyable to watch everyone else make the jump. Merrill couldn't resist doing it again and threw her arms in the air before jumping down. Bethany and Isabela jumped off together holding hands. Hawke laughed at her sister who plugged her nose with one hand as she fell. Anders had tried to be graceful, but ended up flailing his arms and legs making a smack when he hit the water. Aveline and Sebastian were cool and collected with theirs, walking to the edge and just jumping down feet first. And then came Fenris. Hawke's heart fluttered as he approached the edge of the waterfall. The sun was casting a beautiful glow across his bare chest. It was captivating to watch him. He moved with such grace and elegance. In an effortless movement, as if he had done it hundreds of times before, he dove off barely making a splash as his perfect form connected with the water.
"Show off," Varric muttered has he emerged from the water. Hawke couldn't stop the smile from forming on her face as he looked to her. Maker, he made her feel like a giggling school girl. She was all butterflies and blushes when in his presence.
"You're turn, Hawke," Anders called from the far side of the river breaking her trance. "We can keep Varric company now."
"Umm…I think I'll wait a little while before I go," she cast her eyes downward to hide any uncertainty that might be lingering there.
"Oh please, sister. You and I both know you have no intention of jumping off that waterfall," Bethany rolled her eyes.
Isabela quirked an eyebrow in her direction. "What? You are scared of heights. The woman who took down a Qunari Arishok and fought off a legion of darkspawn?"
"Not scared," Bethany jumped in before Hawke could answer. "She is terrified."
"Bethany!" Hawke scowled and splashed water in her direction. "I am not terrified of heights. Maker, I jump off buildings, cliffs, landings. I am definitely not afraid."
"Then what is it exactly," she threw a victorious grin her way.
"I don't know really," she tried to seem collected and she leaned back in the water. "I suppose it's the idea of doing it for no purpose. When your adrenaline is pumping it's easy to push aside your fear. But when I take the time to think about the fact that there is no guarantee that I will come back up again, I just…freeze."
"See you admit it. You said 'push aside your fear.' Will you stop being such a baby?" Bethany threw her a knowing glance. "Besides I've seen you do it before."
"Ugh…whatever. That was different. Someone's life was at stake," Hawke grunted and moved to the more shallow water so she could prop herself up on her elbows.
"This sounds like a good story," Varric rubbed his hands together unable to resist hearing more.
Hawke sighed and closed her eyes determined to not let this ridiculous conversation ruin her mood.
"Well," Bethany began. "When we were kids father used to take us to a place on the outskirts of Lothering. It was a lot like this, only the waterfall wasn't nearly as high. She was too scared then to jump as well." She pointed in the direction of her sister. "Carver and I had so much fun pestering her for being such a chicken. We tried pushing her off a few times, but she'd cry and scream," Bethany made a whining noise trying to mimic her sisters. "Then she'd run to father. He wouldn't let us get near her…"
"That's enough," Hawke interjected with a sigh. "They get the idea. I've been scared of this since I was a child and I'm still a little chicken about it."
"Now, you can't leave us hanging, Hawke." Varric scolded her and turned back to her sister. "Who did she save?"
"It wasn't really a person she saved. But we were much older by then." Bethany ran her fingers through her wet hair as she tried to remember the story. "We were exploring the woods, looking for elfroot or something. On our way home we got turned around somehow and had to cross over a river. The current was much stronger than this one. A tree had fallen over it so we used it to make our way across. The mabari was trailing behind and just when we thought we'd made it, the tree collapsed carrying the dog downstream with it." Bethany gestured to her sister again. "She raced down the bank of the river to try and catch him before he went over the waterfall but was too late."
Hawke felt the same terror as all those years ago building in her at reliving the memory of her faithful companion falling to his would be death. She moved through the water to the edge of the rock that the dog lay on, and pulled herself up to look into his eyes as she listened to Bethany retell the story.
"I've never seen her act so fast. Before we could stop her, she'd thrown her pack to the ground and kicked off her boots. Without hesitation she jumped over the side. Carver and I were terrified. This waterfall was huge." Bethany gestured wildly with her hands. "We couldn't see anything. She just disappeared into the mist. For hours we looked for her. Turned out she took a nasty hit to the head and was passed out a ways upstream with the Mabari curled up next to her. When we got home Mother was so angry. Told her it was foolish to risk her life for a dog."
"What nonsense," Hawke quickly replied. "He would have done the same for me. Isn't that right boy?" The dog closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to hers. Hawke smiled and nuzzled into him. "I would jump off a thousand waterfalls to save you," she whispered.
"So you'll jump to your death, but you won't jump off a little ole waterfall for fun," Anders asked raising the pitch of his voice with amusement.
"It's not the same thing," Hawke turned to him. "When I have to do it, my body just goes with it. But when I try to force myself everything in me just tenses up. I get this sick feeling in my stomach, my palms start to sweat. I can't really explain it," she shrugged and began floating through the water.
"Well, I think it's time you face your fears," Anders began stalking towards her.
"I don't think so," she laughed nervously and started moving away from him.
"Now, Hawke, this is for your own good. You are going over that waterfall if I have to push you myself," he smiled menacingly moving faster towards her.
"I really don't want to Anders," the humor in her voice vanished and turned to genuine fear. "I mean it." But the mage continued moving towards her. Hawke looked around trying to find an escape. Out of the corner of her eye she saw his white hair and began swimming towards him. Anders reached out and grabbed her leg pulling her back. "Stop it, Anders," her voice cracked as she stretched her arms out for Fenris.
"Once you do it, you'll be thanking me," Anders laughed, still unable to see that she was genuinely scared, and began pulling her towards the outlet in the water.
Hawke twisted her body around, feeling a familiar sickness spread through her body as she got closer to the shore. Using all her strength, she brought her free leg to his chest and kicked as hard as she could. Anders lost his grip, and Hawke quickly took the opportunity to escape before he recovered. Frantically she started moving in the water towards Fenris. Before she was even halfway there she started reaching out for him.
Upon realizing that he was her destination, he moved towards her and reached out his arms. As soon as their fingers touched Fenris pulled her body through the water until she was completely wrapped around him. If not for her obvious fear, he might have thought this whole predicament amusing. But as it was, a strong need to protect her surged through him. "She doesn't want to do it, Anders. Leave her alone," he forcefully told him as he wrapped his arms around her body. Hawke buried her head in his neck and held on to him for dear life. Anders made some amused snort before retreating back to the other side of the water.
Ignoring everyone's prodding eyes and comments Fenris floated to a more isolated spot as he gently tried to sooth her. Once sure everyone had turned back to their previous conversations, Fenris rubbed up and down her back and nuzzled her neck, placing a soft kiss there. It made him swell with pride to know that a woman as powerful and strong as her still needed him to feel safe. He felt her relax a little in his arms and smile onto his shoulder.
"I must seem so silly," she half laughed with embarrassment.
Still cradling her back he leaned his head to look into her eyes. "You are many things, Hawke. But silly is not one of them," he smiled.
She pulled her arms from around his neck and let her hands rest at his shoulders. "Let's get back over there with the others. But promise me you won't let him drag me up there. I might not ever forgive you," she grinned.
"I promise," he leaned into her and brushed his lips across her cheek before leading them back to the others.
As they approached the group, Hawke playfully swung around his body, and wrapped herself around his back. Fenris gripped her legs at his torso and readjusted her higher on his waist.
"Maker, sister," Bethany sighed. "You haven't changed a bit. Except now instead of running to father, you're running to Fenris."
Hawke just giggled and pushed her face into his shoulder. She was somewhat embarrassed by her reaction to Anders pestering. It was ridiculous that a little jump from a waterfall could make her so terrified. But she couldn't really complain now. There was a perfectly good excuse for her to cling to Fenris for the rest of the day.
As they day progressed all of her companions gratefully took in the peacefulness of their little vacation from Kirkwall. Everyone except Fenris, Hawke, and Varric continued to take turns jumping off the waterfall. But with the day winding down and their skin quickly turning to prunes they decided to end it and settle down for a meal cooked by Aveline. She needed the practice now that she and Donnic were getting a little more serious.
As all of her companions vacated the water and made their way back to their campsite, Hawke lingered behind. She stood in the middle of the river facing the waterfall, remembering that last time she and her family visited the one from Bethany's story.
After a moment she felt his strong hands encircle her waist and his chest press up against her. She smiled and looked back towards him.
"Having second thoughts," he asked her, then nodded towards the waterfall.
"A little," she confessed. "The last time father brought me to that river in Lothering, I wanted so badly to jump like everyone else. I just couldn't do it." She wrapped her arms around his and leaned back into him. "I cried and cried when we got home. I was so ashamed. I told him that I should have done it, that I felt like a coward. He promised me that he would take me back, just the two of us. And then I could take all the time I needed to muster the courage to do it." She sighed and turned around in his arms to face him. "We never got the chance. Now I wish more than anything that I would have done it that last day."
"It's not too late, Hawke," he squeezed her and rest his head against the top of hers. "No one else is here. It's just the two of us. You could take all the time you needed." She still looked a little uneasy so he brought his hand to her cheek and smiled down at her. "You can do it. I have faith in you."
Hawke sighed but knew he was right. If she didn't do it now, she would just regret it again. "Alight," she nodded and let him lead her up the path to the top of the waterfall.
He never let go of her hand as they walked to the middle of the river. The current wasn't strong enough to knock them down if they kept their footing so he made sure to keep a firm grip on her. Once at the top he grabbed her other hand. The setting sun made her look even more beautiful than he ever thought possible. Even with her heavy breaths, and trembling hands, everything about her captivated him. He stepped closer to her and gripped her waist. "Take your time, Hawke," he tried to reassure her.
She looked over the edge and swallowed loudly. That feeling beginning to creep up again. All her nerves squiggling and squirming inside her. Her palms going clammy. "Will you do it with me," she nervously asked looking back to him.
"Of course," he responded lowly and moved her just an inch closer to the edge. She immediately tensed so he relaxed his grip.
"I think you will have to hold me," she closed her eyes and squeezed his hand.
He pulled her closer to him and wrapped his arms around her torso, gripping her tightly to him. Hawke buried her head into his neck and wrapped her arms under his and across his back. "Don't let go of me," she whispered.
"I won't," he placed a kiss to the top of her head and moved them almost all the way to the edge. "Try not to breathe when you hit the water." She nodded in understanding against his chest. "When you feel your feet hit the bottom, push up with all your strength to carry you back up, ok?" She nodded again and dug into his flesh. "It will be fine, Hawke. I will not let you go." He paused for moment. "Are you ready?"
"Yes," her voice shook.
He held her possessively, lifting her slightly off the ground as he led them over the edge. Hawke gripped him even tighter as they fell, and he felt her push into him as they hit the water. As soon as he felt the bottom of the river he shot them back up, never once letting go of her.
Hawke gasped at they reached the air and then immediately started smiling. "I did it," she exclaimed and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Fenris, I did it!"
"You did," he couldn't help but laugh as he led them back to the shallow water.
"Oh, thank you," she smiled widely. Before he could respond she tentatively placed her lips against his. The act shocked him a little and he felt his body tense. Since their night together neither one had gotten the nerve to do this again. Although he had wanted to countless times.
Suddenly remembering herself and feeling his apprehension, Hawke pulled away and looked nervously away from him. "Sorry, I don't know what came over me." She began moving back towards the shore and then felt his hand grab her wrist. Upon turning back to him the look in his eyes was clear. He wanted this too. Slowly, he pulled her back to him and wrapped his arms around her waist, trailing light kisses across her jaw line before finding her lips with his.
The intensity of the moment swept over them as they relished in the feeling of each other's mouths once more. Fenris tugged on her leg requesting that she wrap it around him, she immediately did as instructed and followed with the other. He ran his hand up her thighs and across her backside. Leaving one to rest there and raking the other up before nestling it into her hair. Hawke cradled his face and kissed him so passionately so possessively he was sure his heart would burst. And then it all became clear, no matter what title they carried or whether they were willing to openly admit it, he was only hers and she was only his.
Additional A/N: I know it seems silly that Hawke would be afraid of heights, but this story just wouldn't leave me alone. It almost ended in a little sexy time, but I decided against it. Fear not! The next one will most likely be packed filled with it. Thanks for taking the time to read this. I'm very new to fan fiction so this is a great learning experience for me. Any help or comments are always greatly appreciated. Hope I've done the two of them justice.