Secret Life of the American Teenager belongs to Brenda Hampton.
I can't believe that I'm in Ricky's room, and I mean that in the most annoying way possible. After he embarrassed me, pretty much dragging me out of Jesse's house, I saw that I didn't have much choice today. Actually, sitting here wouldn't be so horrible if we were doing something other than listen to each other breath. So far, I was staring at the back of his head. I know I was angry with Grace for dropping me, but I would give anything to chat with her right now.
"I'm bored," I blurted out, laying my head on the wall. Ricky glanced back at me, smiling.
"Want to have sex?" He asked seriously, still focused on the laptop. Because of his current actions, he missed the deadly gaze I was giving him.
"Uh no," I stated incredulously.
"Why not? You know me better than you do Jesse," he exclaimed turning to face me in the chair.
"But I like Jesse," I spoke under my breath. Ricky didn't seem to like that statement much.
"Why? Cause he won't call your bullshit?" I didn't answer him. "I think you're scared," he said freely, staring at me as he spoke.
"Scared to have sex?" I asked confused. "I'm not scared of anything,"
"Yeah, that's the problem," he said standing up and walking towards me. I didn't like the direction that this conversation was going on. "You're not scared of anything. What's the deal Amy? Why do you have to be so fearless all the damn time?" He asked sitting on the bed beside me.
"Why does it matter to you?" I asked crossing my arms and standing up so I could get away from his burning stare. Every time we were together, he always had his questions, questions that were personal to me.
"You're going to self-destruct Amy. You're driving yourself damn crazy trying to be this person that I know you're not. I saw you Amy, that night you came to my house and you were supposed to be meeting with Grace, when you told me about all the shit you've been through," I heard the sincerity in his tone. I stood in the middle of the floor looking at the ceiling before I turned around to face him. Over and over I was hearing the same thing from everyone who thought they knew me.
"You didn't see anything. Ricky as much as you think you do, you don't know anything about me. You think you see some scared little girl trapped inside of a monster," He stood slowly, walking towards me, I stepped backwards towards the desk.
"That's exactly what I see. You're not good at hiding yourself from me. I'm good at reading people Amy, especially you," he said.
"Who do you think you are? Are you trying to be my hero? I don't need saving," I said, my voice raising just a hair. Ricky smiled at me. How could he stay so calm at a time like this?
"There's a different in saving and helping and I'm not trying to do either, I'm trying to stop you from a horrible fate," I hadn't realized that I was shaking my head and walking backwards.
"Fate? What kind of fate?" I asked.
"The morgue or the crazy house, whichever you find more convenient for yourself," he shrugged. I uncrossed my arms and stuffed them in my pocket. He was on the verge of getting slapped, but I knew that hitting him could only make things worse between us. He watched my movements.
"What about your fate?" I asked turning the tables, putting him in the hot seat. "Prison or you could join me in the morgue. I think your path is much more dangerous than mine," I said sitting on the desk, pushing his laptop out of my way.
"I'm not worried about either one and this isn't about me," he stated arrogantly, shifting his feet. I looked to the side and then back at him.
"Why not? Aren't you tired of talking about me? I know I am," I said sighing sarcastically.
"Wow, you want to talk about something other than yourself, that's new, who would've guessed?" He smirked.
"Excuse me," I asked offended.
"Your narcissist ways must be failing you, which only means Caitlin is doing her job," he said mockingly. I didn't respond to him. He was trying to tear me down bit by bit. "Didn't think I knew about that did you? I know everything, keep that in mind Jurgens," he said seriously. I hopped off the desk, having enough of this charade and heading for the door. Ricky seemed to know my plans before my hand hit the knob because there he was standing in front of me, a very serious look in his eyes that I'd never seen before.
I sat in Amy's room waiting for her to arrive. Her mother had come to the door and she looked upset, but I didn't question anything. The things that happened in Amy's family wasn't my business. I hadn't really noticed before, but I'm starting to realize that they were a private bunch of people. We'll see how long that lasts in this town. Sooner or later, they would hear the sirens and watch the cops tampering with evidence. I saw most things that my father tried to hide from me as a child, but I could only pretend to be so naïve.
I walked around Amy's room, looking at the picture of her old friends and one of her entire family. In each picture, Amy looked different, she looked genuinely happy. I smiled at a picture that was stuck to the wall by a tooth pick, it was obviously folded back and meant to stay that way. Being the nosy person I was, I pulled it off the wall, reading the back of it before turning it over.
A&J forever, The picture read. It was dated February 14, 2010, a classic valentines day picture. I turned it back over so I could see this mysterious J. He was cute . He had tight black curls and gorgeous dark eyes. He was only a hair taller than Amy, who looked as if she couldn't be more happier standing beside him. Amy had never mentioned him before, I wonder if they were still together, probably not since his side of the picture was folded backwards. I smiled and put the picture back in place.
Continuing my tour around the room, I studied the decor. Amy had a nice sized bed that could fit two people easily, just like mine. There was a nice shade of pink on two walls, while the other two were a royal purple. When I stayed here, I can't remember Amy saying anything about a favorite color and figured this must be it. Her dresser and desk were oak, it fit the room well. Amy's room was very homey, I don't know how she left it so willingly.
"What are you doing here?" Someone said startling me. I turned around swiftly, trying to find the culprit. Ashley stood at Amy's door, clad in a short blue jean skirt and a sweater tight around the midsection, but loose around the sleeves, she looked like a totally different person.
"Nothing, just waiting on Amy to get home. Your mom said I could wait up here if I wanted," I said justifying why I was in her sister's room. Ashley crossed her arms over her chest.
"Don't waste your time, she probably won't be back until tomorrow morning. She left angry, and that means a lot when it's coming from her," Ashley said nonchalantly. She uncrossed her arms and pulled her hair over her shoulder, the length had changed almost extremely. She'd gotten it cut, letting it only fall a little past her shoulders, it was cute on her. "What are you staring at?" She asked angrily. I snapped out of my trance, shaking my head.
"Nothing, you just look," I paused, not wanting to offend her. "You've changed," I finished, not knowing where my words were going to hit her. Ashley stepped into the room slowly.
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing Grace?" She asked.
"I don't know. What do you think?" I counterattacked. She smiled, truly smiled and I was shocked by the gesture. I'd never seen her smile before, not anything so real.
"Well, I did it so I must think it's great right? It's a big step up from what I used to look like," she said shifting her eyes around Amy's room.
"I never had a problem with the you before, but I never got to know you before, so I can't really say if it was a step up or a step down," I spoke honestly.
"Compared to what my sister thought of me, I would say it's a step up," I couldn't help but to hear the sincerity in her voice. What had Amy thought of Ashley?
"Why the hell do you care what she thinks?" I asked. Ashley shrugged. "It's only about what you think and if you like it, to hell with everyone else," I don't think I've ever cursed so much in my life and that was only two words. Ashley smiled again. "Aren't you tired of caring what other people think of you? I know I am, so I say fuck em', starting today, me and you are going to say 'fuck what you think' to any and every one who has a problem with us," I said proud of myself for being so wise and knowing what to say. Ashley snickered lightly.
"Wow Grace, I never took you for the cursing type," Ashley said walking into Amy's room. I shrugged and smiled.
"Hey, what can I say Ash you never know someone until you really know em'" Ashley shook her head and stepped farther into Amy's room. I thought about the picture that had hung on the wall with a toothpick. "Hey Ashley, about that picture on the wall, who is that guy?" I asked curiously. Ashley slowly walked towards the picture and raised her arm to retrieve it off the wall. Before she could pull it completely down, her sleeve slid down her arm and I could see the scars going in a straight line up her arm. "What happened to your arm?"
"Ricky broke up with you?" I asked a nonchalant Adrian who'd shown up on my doorstep just before nightfall. Adrian nodded her head and invited herself into my house, heading up the stairs. "Why?" I asked, not really caring, but still a little confused. Ricky and Adrian had been together for so long, sure they had their issues, but breaking up was an extreme for them and usually they got back together when they did "break up" if that's what you want to call it.
"Why do you think Benjamin?" She paused on the top step, countering my question with her own. There was no reason that I could come up with that he would want to break up with her. Unless.
"You told him didn't you?" I asked almost in a panic. Adrian seemed lost for a while and then a light came on in her eyes. She shifted her eyes before shaking her head, I didn't believe her. "Adrian, did you tell him about us?" I asked more clearly.
"No Ben, I did not tell Ricky that we occasionally have sex," she said loudly throughout the house. I ran up the stairs and covered her mouth with my hand. She shoved it away abruptly, giving me an incredulous look.
"Jeez Ben who the hell do you think is going to hear me? I don't think Ricky has your house wiretapped," she said turning back around to continue her journey towards my room, where she always went. "I didn't tell him anything, your friendship is safe, we just mutually agreed that we didn't need to see each other anymore," she finished going into my room and plopping down on the bed. I didn't believe her, not entirely.
"Oh, well that sucks… for you," I said pointing out the obvious. Ricky was Adrian's crutch, she wouldn't be able to stand on her own two feet without him. "How does it feel to be downsized to the average girl?" I asked and she gave me the finger, making me chuckle.
"For your information, I haven't been downsized to anything, being with Ricky didn't put me at the top I was already there," she said arrogantly. I'm not sure about that. The only reason girls feared Adrian is because of what she might get Ricky to do to them, which probably wouldn't be much. He wasn't the type of guy to go after women, unless he was trying to screw them.
"Actually, you weren't anywhere until Grace was forced to be your friend," I said smiling. Adrian's head snapped upwards and she slowly stood up.
"Grace was not forced to be my friend, she's just the only girl I click with," she stated proudly like she'd won this battle, but I knew the story.
"You so sure about that? How come she didn't want to be your friend until freshman year, when you and Ricky started really getting close?" I asked. Adrian's eye twitched slightly and she turned around, thinking about my question.
"That doesn't mean shit. Stop trying to make me second guess myself," she said walking around the room, trying to get space. I watched her face falter a few times.
"Nobody liked you Adrian, not even the girls just like you, now if they didn't like you, what makes you think a nice girl like Grace would give you a chance?" I asked watching the back of her head, she cut her eye to the side to watch me walk over to her.
"Because she's a nice girl," she spoke loudly, becoming irate.
"Think again, her mother can barely tolerate you, it's because Ricky couldn't wait to be inside you so he got his little sister to play a role in his scheme," I said giving her my version of how she really came to be close to both Castel's.
"What is your problem Ben? Why would you tell me that?" She asked lightly. I could barely hear her. I wasn't trying to hurt her, I just wanted her out of my life. If Ricky didn't want her, then why would I? I wasn't going to play rebound to my best friend.
"So you'll know that the only reason that you made it in this life with us is because Ricky wanted to have his piece of you and when he did we couldn't figure out how to get rid of you. They were too nice to you Adrian, they should've told you from the beginning what the real deal was," I said chuckling lightly. I know it was a harsh of me to be telling her this, especially after Ricky just broke up with her not even a day ago. She was a big girl though, I knew she could handle this, she had a strong mind.
"You're a liar," she said turning towards me. I shrugged as I watched a tear stroll down her cheek. I'd never seen her cry before and I was starting to feel a small bit of guilt.
"Maybe," I said. She stomped over to me and looked in my eyes for a long moment, then I felt the sting of a slap and all my blood began to boil. I couldn't stop the monster from surfacing and instead of walking away like I should have, I grabbed Adrian around her throat and pushed her against my dresser, the mirror shook violently. Adrian made these ugly gasping noises, clawing at my hand. I could see my knuckles turning white. I was gripping her neck with such a tightness that I could feel her pulse slowing, the odd thing about it, is that I didn't want to let go until she was laying lifeless at my feet.
I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, it was probably long-awaited and all I can do is apologize. Please Review!