CAMP EDZLO

Chapter 1

One summer morning, Ed was in his bedroom, reading a comic book when he suddenly heard knocking on his window.

"Hey, Monobrow, get out here!" a voice shouted.

Ed approached his window and saw Eddy.

"Hi, Eddy! I got a new comic," Ed said as he showed Eddy his comic.

"So, what? Double-D's got a new invention," Eddy replied.

Ed opened his window and climbed outside.

"C'mon, we're wastin' time!" Eddy shouted as he started running off to Edd's house.

"Coming, Eddy!" Ed shouted as he followed Eddy.

When Ed and Eddy arrived at Edd's house, they found Edd in his garage. Edd had a new invention that was hidden under a tarp.

"Okay, we're here, Double-D. Show us your invention," Eddy ordered impatiently.

"Alright, Eddy. Here it is," Edd said. He removed the tarp, revealing a portal with a supercomputer attached to it. "Behold! My new portal machine!"

"What does it do?" Ed asked.

"It enables you to travel anywhere in the world. You can even travel to another universe," Edd explained.

"Cool!" Ed and Eddy exclaimed.

Ed rushed over to the supercomputer.

"Think of all the money we can make with this thing, Double-D!" Eddy said excitedly.

"Actually, Eddy, I'm not-" Edd began. He saw Ed pushing random buttons on the computer and panicked. "Ed! What in the world are you doing?"

"I wanna visit The Planet of Bacon Men," Ed said.

"That's stupid," Eddy commented.

"Ed, this is advanced technology!" Edd scolded as he pulled Ed away from the computer. "You can't just press random buttons without knowing what they'll do!"

Just then, the machine started to shake and spark.

"Oh, now you've done it," Edd groaned.

"You better not have broken it, Ed," Eddy said.

A few seconds later, a portal appeared.

"It's a wormhole!" Ed exclaimed. "First one in's a rotten egg!"

Ed grabbed his friends and ran towards the portal.

"NO, ED!" Edd and Eddy shouted.

Ed jumped into the portal while carrying Edd and Eddy. The portal disappeared once the Eds were inside.


At Camp Kidney, a portal appeared in the middle of the campground. The Eds fell out of the portal and landed on the ground. Then, the portal disappeared.

"Eureka!" Edd exclaimed. "My invention has exceeded all expectations."

The Eds stood up and explored their surroundings.

"Where are we?" Eddy wondered.

"Are we on The Planet of Bacon Men?" Ed wondered.

"I highly doubt that, Ed," Edd replied. "Judging by our surroundings, it appears as though we've landed in a campground."

Eddy noticed that the portal machine was missing. "Where's your machine, Double-D?" he asked.

"I think we forgot it," Ed replied.

Edd realized the flaw in his invention. "Oh, dear. Curse my inventive ways," he said nervously. "I believe Ed's right, Eddy."

"We really are on The Planet of Bacon Men?"

"No, Ed. We left the portal back in Double-D's garage," Eddy corrected.

"Um, I have a confession to make, gentlemen," Edd admitted. "The portal was just a prototype. It wasn't yet ready for testing."

"Are you sayin' we're stranded?"

"I'm afraid so, Eddy," Edd answered. "The only way we can return home is if we construct another portal."

"Great," Eddy said sarcastically. "So, what do we do now?"

"Well, first, I suggest we-"

"Excuse me," a voice interrupted.

The Eds faced the source of the voice and saw Slinkman walking towards them.

"It's a slug," Ed pointed out.

"Can I help you three?" Slinkman asked.

"Hello," Edd greeted. "Can you tell us where we are?"

"You're at Camp Kidney,"

"Camp Kidney? What's that?" Eddy asked.

"It's a summer camp for boys," Slinkman answered. "Do you guys wanna sign up?"

"Uh, hold that thought,"

Eddy took Ed and Edd aside.

"Summer camp? I don't wanna sign up for summer camp," Eddy protested.

"I do. Camps are fun," Ed said.

"I think we should, Eddy," Edd advised. "We may be stranded here for a while so we'll need some form of shelter until we can build another portal."

"Alright, I guess we don't have a choice," Eddy groaned.

The Eds rejoined Slinkman.

"We would like to register for camp, sir," Edd said.

"Great," Slinkman happily replied. "I'm Slinkman and I work here."

"It's nice to meet you, Slinkman. Are you the scoutmaster?"

"No, I'm his assistant. Follow me and I'll introduce you to him,"

The Eds followed Slinkman into the scoutmaster's cabin and into Scoutmaster Lumpus's office, where Lumpus was asleep at his desk.

"It's a moose," Ed pointed out.

"Thank you, Ed. That's enough now," Edd replied in annoyance.

"This is Scoutmaster Lumpus. He's my boss and he runs the camp," Slinkman explained. "He can be grumpy sometimes so be patient with him."

Slinkman walked over to Lumpus.

"Scoutmaster Lumpus," Slinkman said as he tapped Lumpus's shoulder, causing him to wake up.

"What is it, Slinkman? Can't you see I'm tryin' to nap here?" Lumpus complained.

"Sorry to disturb you, sir, but we have three boys who wanna join Camp Kidney," Slinkman informed, gesturing towards the Eds.

Lumpus groaned and grabbed a pencil and a sheet of paper, which had the camp roster on it.

"Alright, tell us what your names are so we can add 'em to the roster," Lumpus instructed.

The Eds gave Lumpus and Slinkman their names. Then, Lumpus wrote them down. Slinkman told Edd they'd call him "Double-D" since they already had a camper named Edward.

"Okay, Slinkman, you know what to do," Lumpus said. "Give these new campers their uniforms, assign 'em to a cabin and introduce 'em to the other campers."

"Yes, sir," Slinkman replied.

"It's nice to meet you, Scoutmaster Lumpus," Edd said.

"Whatever," Lumpus grouchily replied.


The Eds were now in the living room, waiting for Slinkman to arrive with their uniforms.

"Alright, boys. Here are your uniforms," Slinkman announced as he entered the room with three Bean Scout uniforms.

Slinkman handed each Ed a uniform. Edd felt uncomfortable with the hat because he didn't want to take his regular hat off.

"Slinkman, may I request permission to keep my hat?" Edd asked, pointing towards his regular hat.

"I'm afraid all campers are required to wear the entire uniform," Slinkman replied. "Is there a problem?"

"Double-D doesn't want anyone to see him without his hat," Eddy explained.

"Oh. Well, it can't be that bad," Slinkman commented, unaware of how wrong he was. "Would you mind showing me?"

Edd hesitated for a moment and said, "Well, I suppose not."

He slowly removed his hat. Slinkman, who became nauseated after seeing what was under Edd's hat, ran to the bathroom and puked. Once he regained his composure, Slinkman rejoined the Eds.

"I stand corrected," Slinkman said. "I think we can make an exception, Double-D."

"Thank you, sir," Edd replied as he put his hat back on.

"Let me show you guys where your cabin is,"


The Eds and Slinkman arrived at a spare cabin in the campground.

"Here we are," Slinkman announced as they entered the empty cabin. "Your beds will arrive shortly and you'll need to name your cabin."

"Can we call it 'garbage dump'?" Eddy asked sarcastically.

"As long as it's a bean,"

"Let's call it 'buttered toast'," Ed suggested.

"That's not a bean, stupid," Eddy pointed out.

"Ed's idea gives me an idea," Edd said. "Why don't we call it 'butterbean'?"

Ed and Eddy agreed.

"Butterbean it is, then," Slinkman said. "Now that you're all set up, I want you to change into your uniforms. Then, I'll introduce you to the other campers. Meet me back at Scoutmaster Lumpus's office when you're done."

"Yes, sir," Edd replied.

Slinkman left the cabin and made his way back to Lumpus's office. Then, he turned on a microphone that led to the loudspeakers on top of the flagpole.

"Attention, campers," Slinkman said into the microphone. "Please report to the amphitheater for an assembly. We have three new campers who'll be joining us this summer."