Funebre ~ 1

It was something he never wanted her to see. She was too precious to him.

Too innocent.

"Oh, Dave…"

"Nah, man, don't cry. It's cool," Dave said, forcing his words through a grimace of pain.

"How can you say that!" Jade sobbed, burying her head in her hands. "It's not okay! It's not okay at all!"

Don't cry, Dave thought. Fuck, don't cry, I don't want to see this. Stop it. Smile. I want you to smile.

"This is all my fault."

"Shut the fuck up," Dave grunted. "No, sorry. I didn't mean that. Actually, keep talking. It's not your fault, Jade. It's me, this is what I do, this is what happens because I'm the fucking Knight of Time or some shit. So don't cry. Just…just tell me a story or something. Anything. I don't care."

"But Dave…"

"Seriously, man, are you going to deny me this. This is like my last wish. Is talking to me that hard. Just talk to me. Say something. I don't want to hear my own voice, fuck. I want to hear yours. And don't cry. This is stupid. Don't cry."

"I can't help it, Dave. I don't want you to die."

"Fuck, but I'm not. Well, I mean, I am, but I'm not. Seriously. You'll go looking for frogs or some shit and I'll be standing in that fucking swamp and you will freak the fuck out. And not in the good way, not because I'm just so fucking handsome and cool that you just can't fucking contain yourself. In a bad way. A really fuck—nggh." Dave choked, biting back his own blood.

"Dave, I can't do this. I can't watch you die."

"Fuck, weren't you listening. I'm not dying. I'm not—urgh—dying, this isn't me. I'm Doomed Dave, I'm not Dave Dave, I'm not Alpha Dave. I fucked up a timeloop and now one of me has to die. It happens."

"I don't care! Dave, I don't want any of you to die! You're all Dave to me!"

"Yeah. That's what's making this such a fucking pain." Dave struggled to sit up, slipping in the crimson pool that had been slowly spreading out around him. "Well, aside from the obvious."

"Don't joke about it!" Jade cried.

"Then stop crying!" Dave gasped. "I don't want you to cry. Fuck. Don't cry, I'm still here, I'm still there—fuck, well, I'm somewhere. Just relax."

"Is it always like this? Are you always this calm?"

It hurt Dave to laugh. "No fucking clue. After the timeline splits, I don't know what happens. In the beginning I never even realized I had been doing it. I guess all the Daves are me, though, so probably."

"All those Daves…they died alone?"

"I don't know. Maybe." Dave coughed. "Jegus, it's fucking hard to think like this. Can't you just tell me a fucking story. Is it that fucking hard. I just want to shut up and hear someone else talk for a change."


"Stop it. Seriously. Don't cry. Don't be sad. Just start talking to me. Call me a fuckass if you want. I don't care. Just say something." Dave couldn't see very well anymore. Everything was dark and blurry, even more so than usual. He thought how nice it would be if his last sight was Jade just smiling at him. He coughed again. That obviously wasn't going to happen. He wasn't even sure she was going to talk to him. He couldn't make her stop crying.

So he closed his eyes and slumped against the ground.

"Sorry," Jade said. She said it over and over and over until it blended together in his mind and he couldn't really understand any more. He reached out, grasping in the dark for her hand. She quickly took it, squeezing it tight.

"Thanks," Dave breathed.

And then there was silence.