Midlife Piracy

A/N: This is a oneshot that I thought up while reading about the pirates in English history!

I had this idea, 'what if Arthur went through a mid-life crisis…and what would he do to poor Alfie?'

And thus, this fic was created!

Warning: M/M Country Personifications, kidnapping, piracy, PWP pretty much mwahaha.

(Note: All commentary is made by France)





Arthur was so tired of being called old! Everyone, everyone everyone! (Except Japan.) Called him old! Dammit! He was not old! He was a gentleman! Well…he had been anyway. But dammit, not anymore! He didn't want to be called old and he hated feeling like he couldn't keep up.

What had happened to the days when he had ruled the seas and every other nation feared the name 'Captain Kirkland'. He wanted those days back and bloody hell he was going to get them back! Rummaging through his closet, Arthur gave a loud 'Aha!' as he finally found what he was searching for.

Cackling evilly, he grabbed his phone and called in a few favors starting with his boss. Once he was done with those 'calls', (Stop pretending you're a gentleman you ex-delinquent!) Arthur waited patiently. When everything was ready, he was fully in character to take back what should have been his from the very beginning.


Line Break


Alfred sat in the world conference room munching down a pile of hamburgers the size of California. Of course he ignored the looks of the other's admiring his hero-ness and overall awesomeness. As he was getting through hamburger 69, the national anthem started to play signaling a call from his boss.

"Hello this is the hero America speaking!"

His bosses next words made him grin.

"Um yes, Alfred…well, I just wanted to let you know since you have been working so hard I'm going to go ahead and give you the next couple of weeks off. I'll call you if we need you though."

Alfred smiled and mentally hurrayed at the thought of being able to bother Iggy for a while.

"Awesome Mister Obama Sir! Thank you a ton!"

Clicking his phone shut, Alfred whistled a tune and slurped down a milkshake. (Learn better eating habits!)

As he continued to slurp on milkshakes and munch hungrily at his burgers, the rest of the nations filed in and Switzerland closed the doors.

"Alrighty-o! Let's get this super awesome world conference on! I am your super hero special awesome host, America!"

Alfred stood up, stack of papers in hand and started to take over as usual but he stopped short not five minutes into his spiel.

"Hey~ France what did you do with Iggy?"

Alfred looked around continuously for his old friend. France just raised an eyebrow as though to say 'why are you asking me.'

"Maybe he hooked up with some girl!"

The peanut gallery, (hohon that would be Gilbert~) spoke up just as a loud crash signaled the doors being broken open. All heads jerked up to see who had busted in. As soon as recognition hit the older countries, all hell broke loose.

Antonio tackled Lovino with a girlish shriek and started mumbling something along the lines of "Oh god not again." Complete with Lovino cursing him out and calling him a tomato loving bastard. Ludwig made a note of grabbing Feliciano who watched the scene with a rather airy note. France stood up and laughed, pointing at the person while calling out,

"Looks like someone is having a midlife crisis!"

It took a long while for Alfred to do anything, to shocked at what exactly he was seeing. Standing before him was Arthur…gentlemanly Arthur…wearing his entire pirate uniform…and holding a gun.

"Aye ye ole lanlubbers! Imma here to take ye fair maiden and I ask ye fer nothin' mor' an' that."

All the countries looked at each other as though wondering who on earth he could be talking about. Arthur just smirked, his canine glinting sharply as he rested the pistol against his shoulder and strolled into the room. His boots clicked in time to the pistol as he tapped it along his shoulder.

Stopping in front of a mesmerized Alfred, Arthur placed his free hand on the arm of the American's chair and leaned forward.

"What say ya, fair maiden? Will ye come with me peacefully or do I hafta use a little mor'….force?"

Alfred gulped audibly and shrunk back against the chair before putting on his hero mask.

"Like hell Iggy! What's gotten mmph!"

The pistol's barrel wiped forward to be shoved into Alfred's mouth. The dark blonde's eyes went wide as he tried to process what was going on.

"Come peacefully or I pull the trigger."

Alfred shut his eyes tight and didn't move.


Suddenly, the gun was removed from his mouth and the American felt the world tilt. When his warm blue eyes opened, he was looking at the floor. Despite the smaller blonde's usual strength, he had managed to lift Alfred and sling him over one shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

Closing his eye's tight again, he clung to the back of Arthur's long red captain's jacket. Arthur, for his part, swung the pistol around at everyone and gave another smirk.

"Thank ye all for not interfering but now I really must be on me way."

He carried his prize out of the room, leaving silence to reign until Prussia spoke up.

"Well, looks like the meeting needs to be on hold, let's go play Mattie!"

Gilbert took a page out of Arthur's book a swung the unnoticeable Canadian over his shoulder. Francis laughed and waved them off while the other Beilschmidt brother snuck out with a certain Italian in tow. Switzerland seemed to be having a conniption over what had happened and China was waving out the window at the giant pirate ship in the harbor.

"This is so cool, aru."


Line break


Alfred couldn't believe this was happening. He hadn't seen Arthur anywhere near his pirate style since he was a brand-new colony and now…here he was again, in the flesh. If it wasn't for the pain from the smaller blonde's boney shoulder in his gut, America would have thought he was dreaming.

Getting bored with just hanging there Alfred started patting his hands against Arthur's butt and giggling hysterically…until a sharp swat against his own firm globes had him blushing like mad.

"I suggest ye stay still too we get to our destination. If ye don't, I'll be forced to strip ye right here and carry ya the rest of the way naked."

Puffing his cheeks out like a child, Alfred stayed still and allowed himself to be carried. He wasn't as used to this type of Arthur…the pirate he remembered always played with him and told him stories of the seven seas…protected him and smiled warmly only at him…

This man, this man who seemed ready to take what he wanted with a smirk, fire and gunshots trailing behind him…this man made Alfred's insides all squirmy.

"Ah, here we are Alfie."

That name, Arthur hadn't called him 'Alfie' since the Revolutionary War. Staring at the ground, Alfred could see the concrete give way to wood as the sound of ocean water and creaking ropes became louder.

'Ah…a ship…I guess I really have been caught by the pirate…'

America couldn't help the small giggle of happiness that left his lips as he thought of the situation. As weird as it was, this was what he always wanted…to see the other sides of Iggy. It's why he was so excited to participate in the revolution.

Giving a happy sigh, he reached up and removed Texas, tucking them safely away in his buttoned pocket before letting his eye's move around even though it was kind of awkward. The blood diverting to his head didn't seem to affect him very much though except that he kept remembering things from days long past. (Maybe we should hang you upside down more often…you seem to think better.)

Alfred started to see the boots of others though which caused another red flush to stain his cheeks.

"Ello Captain! Ye got yer booty so shall we cast 'er off?"

He could practically envision the smirk as 'Captain Kirkland' gave his orders.

"Aye, we best be off, don't want to over stay our welcome do we boys?"

A loud cheer came up before rushing footsteps over creaking wood was heard. Arthur continued to the rooms before Alfred heard a door slam open. Before he could even think to ask where they were, He was flung from his perch onto a huge soft bed, the door he had heard slamming closed with a defined click.


Looking into the flaming green eyes that bore into him like drills, Alfred felt small for the first time since he became a super power.


Line Break


Staring down at Alfred with a heated gaze, Arthur couldn't help the heady sensation power filled him with. The look in the other's eyes as he realized his own situation was mesmerizing and the feeling of control left him hot.

"So, poppet…are ye ready fer what I'm about to do to ye?"

The younger nation's eyes widened fractionally as he opened his mouth to speak before closing it again, a harsh breath sounding through the room before he finally spoke.

"What…what exactly are you planning to do Ig…Arthur."

Removing his gun and hat slowly, Arthur smirked again, that dangerous canine flashing once more causing a shiver to run up Alfred's spin.

"Aye…you may want to get used to calling me Sir or Captain Alfie…we're gonna be together for a good long while. As fer what I want to do to ye…well ya see poppet…I want to make ye mine."

Sauntering to the bed and kneeling on the edge, he grabbed Alfred's shirt before pulling him into a bruising kiss. The American's eyes went wide as he (rather stupidly) opened his mouth to yell at the other only to have something wet slide into his mouth and touch his tongue.

Deciding he was better off closing his eyes since it felt –really- good, Alfred let Arthur dominate the kiss. When the other pulled back slowly, catching the American's bottom lip in his teeth and tugging gentle, darkened blue eyes were able to slip open meeting deep emerald green. A soft whimper passed his kiss reddened lips when England pulled away completely to stand once more over the young nation.


Was the only thing American could say. 'Why did Arthur kiss him, why did he kidnap him, why were they here, why is he doing this' All of the above were things he wanted to know and it was all summed up in that one word… 'why'.

"Because you insufferable dolt…I love you."

A small sliver of the Arthur Alfred knew came through but before he could react, the pirate was on him quickly, stripping them both of their jackets and starting on Alfred's tie while one had trailed lower. Alfred didn't mind so much as he was shocked…that was until that hand going lower touched his belt.


With that weird supernatural strength he had always possessed, America pushed the elder away and rolled onto his side, covering his face with his hands. For Arthur, he kneeled above the blonde, watching him and feeling a twinge of guilt that maybe Alfred didn't like him that way.

"Tch, if ya didn't like it ya could have said so poppet…"

Laying a hand gently on those golden locks, he was surprised when one of the hands moved from covering those brilliant blue eyes to rest over his own hand.

"It's…it's not that I don't want to…it's…um…promise you won't laugh?"

Arching and eye brow, England gave his word not to laugh while the golden blonde started to speak again.

"Well…I've…never…done it…with…anyone."

England could tell his eyes widened drastically at the thought. His poppet…a virgin, saving himself for something…and that's when he had to ask.

"Are you saving yourself for someone?"

He knew his voice came out harsher then it was meant too but the twinge of jealousy made him angry.

"No! I mean…well, you see."

Alfred gulped before continuing.

"The couple who has sex is always the first to get killed by the monster…and so…I would always get scared to have sex in someone's home or even a hotel…cause well…I don't want them to die…and um…so…I just never…had…er…sex with anyone…"

Arthur smirked slightly and leaned down, pressing a kiss to Alfred's temple right above their hands.

"Don't worry pet, I would kill any monster that tried to lay a hand on you or I. I think your times just about up though…don't you think so Alfred?"

Moving his hand to Alfred's shoulder, he rolled the taller male back onto his back gently, looking at the bright blue eyes and the flushed face. The other's resistance had all but faded and what was left was a needy boy who would be willing to put his life in Arthur's grasp.

Leaning forward again and kissing Alfred's brow, Arthur slowly made his way down till he was kissing those full lips again. Alfred gasped softly when the pirate's teeth grabbed his bottom lip before pressing hard to snake his tongue inside that warm cavern. Alfred's tongue tentatively came forward to touch Arthur's but the older had other ideas.

Pulling away, he stuck his thumb in the corner of Al's mouth, between his teeth.

"Stick out your tongue, love."

Doing as told though with a perplexed expression, Alfred stuck his tongue as far out as it could go. Arthur smirked at him and dipped his head down, gently catching the tongue between his teeth before sticking his own tongue out and pressing close. His thumb slipped out of the younger's mouth as he deepened the kiss to the point that Alfred thought the elder could touch his tonsils.

Arthur's hands didn't stay still for long as he slowly undressed Alfred. First his tie was slipped off, then the button's from his shirt were popped one by one as the tanned skin was revealed. Arthur pulled out of the kiss, his eyes darkening appreciatively at the sapphire colored eyes, the panting and slick full lips, and that expanse of beautiful unblemished skin with two perfect dusky nipples. The perfection, because in Arthur's eyes Alfred would always be perfect, was stunning. Pressing a kiss to Al's jaw, he moved now that strong neck, nipping and licking, sucking and blemishing that perfect skin.

Alfred's fingers came up to hesitantly touch Arthur's shoulder's causing the elder pirate to jerk up and look Alfred in the eye.

"Ye may touch as well…as long as I want ye too. We'll make this little game about ya now Alfie."

Alfred blushed and tightened his grip on gauzy white shirt as Arthur went back to work marking his territory. He may be in pirate mode, the biting and the accent proving that but knowing that the younger was an honest and true virgin added a sensual type of gentleness to his touches. He wanted Al to be at ease when he took him, to know the younger wanted this as much as he.

Pulling the taller up by his waist, England slipped the shirt away and kissed down the rest of the expanses of skin. America couldn't help but giggle a little when Arthur drug his tongue over the sensitive skin on his tummy. When those hands touched his belt again though, Alfred stiffened.

"Relax Alfie…I promise not to hurt ye."

His accent got thicker the more aroused he became and just the sound was starting to make Alfred's mind melt. Hearing the metal clinking of his belt, Alfred's eyes snapped shut as he willed his heart to stop pounding.

"Open your eyes Al." was the command that came up from somewhere near Florida.

Opening his eyes slowly as he was told, he looked down into those shocking emerald eyes and flushed darkly. Perfect white teeth gripped his metallic zipper and pulled it down slowly while nimble fingers undid the button. When the barriers were gone, Arthur rose up again and finally noticed the difference between the two of them, Alfred's flush alerting him to it.

"I want ye to take my shirt off poppet…"

Alfred gulped audibly before moving his shaking hands from Arthur's shoulders down to the hem of the gauzy shirt. Nervously lifting it, he sat up momentarily and lifted it over the other blonde's head. When he had tossed it onto the floor, Al flopped back onto the bed and let his eyes drift down that scared chest. As he ran his finger's lightly over the marks, Arthur grabbed his hands and held them to his chest…right over his heart.

"The only scar ye need to heal with yer touch is the one here…the one left by the rain."

Arthur's features darkened momentarily as he stared down at Alfred before leaning in to press a chaste kiss on the young one's lips before releasing his hands. Moving his own hands down, Arthur tucked his fingers under the band of Alfred's jeans and boxers and pulled them down, Al lifting his hips to help.

When the final pieces of cloth were removed, Arthur sat back up and admired the beautiful body before him.

"Aye…ye are the loveliest thing this side of here ocean…"

Watching the flush darken, Arthur reached out a hand to touch Florida smirk as it gave an interested twitch under his eyes and touch. Reaching on the counter, he grabbed a small vial of clear liquid that he had been wondering if he should use. Knowing that it was Alfred's first time, he thought maybe this would be best.

"Poppet…I have something here that will make this much more comfortable for ye…but I need ya to trust me."

Alfred opened his eyes slowly and stared at the vial before looking into those beautiful green eyes before nodding. He had always trusted his beloved England…he loved him, even now, even after the revolution, he loved him.

"I…Arthur I…you may not believe me hell man…I wouldn't believe me after everything I did to you and well…" He took a deep breath before continuing. "I love you Arthur…"

When he had finished, he looked into the wide eyes before that warm smile…the one from his memory, surfaced on the face of his favorite nation.

"Then Al…I need you to drink half of the contents in this vial…it's an aphrodisiac and it will make this much more pleasurable for you."

Al shivered slightly and took the bottle, uncorking it and downing the specified amount out of it before passing it to Arthur who stood from the bed slowly.

"I have to fetch some oil from the kitchens. When I come back my pet…I shall take care of your need…"

As the Brit left the room Alfred lay there in peace for a few moments before feeling the room heat up slowly. Flushing as he felt Florida start to ache, He curled into a ball and waited patiently for his beloved Captain to return.

It wasn't long before the creak of the door sounded again and he looked up with big tears in his eyes. His body was so hot…he felt like he was going to burn up and drift away.

"Calm yer self Lad…it's only going to get hotter."

With a devilish smirk, Arthur placed a dish with glistening oil in it before uncorking that horrible vial and adding it to the oil and dipping his fingers into it. Kneeling on the bed once more, he uses his clean hand to pull Al out of his curled position, smirking as the other shudders repeatedly, Florida straining.

"Pull yer legs to yer chest and spread 'em…I wanna see everything of ye. Your eyes as I drive you wild with lust, Florida twitching and begging to be touched, your twitching hole as I make it slick with oil…I want it all!"

America flushed but did as told, his mind too far gone with heat to give him reasons to refuse. When everything was revealed to those hungry, wolf like eyes Arthur leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss to the tip knowing that even with the aphrodisiac, the first finger would feel uncomfortable until the burn started.

Alfred nearly howled when Arthur licked the tip and slowly pushed one slick finger past his tight right of muscle. At first, it was uncomfortable and the oddness of it made the heat fade slightly from his mind. Only for a second though…after a few strokes of the finger, an itch was awoken in his bowls.

"Ahh…ahh…ahhh! Arthur! Hah…ah…ah…what…what's happening….ah…"

Arthur was quick to slip in a second and third finger. He wanted to groan aloud as he felt that tight passage spasming around his fingers till he couldn't take it anymore. Dipping his fingers back in the oil, he coated his own Big Ben before responding to Al.

"Poppet…that is what happens when this aphrodisiac is introduced to the air and oil…it releases an itching powder effect while preparing the entrance for sex…the itch won't stop until it's fucked out of you, Pet…"

Positioning himself, his hands grabbing Alfred's off of his legs and pinning them above his head while the younger's knees rested on Arthur's shoulders, he prepared to enter.

"Are ye ready poppet?"

He asked, a moment of concern filling his voice as he looked down at the dark blue eyes of his lover. Alfred gave a sweet smile and nodded his consent as Arthur slowly pushed his own itching member into that tight heat. Everything flashed white for the pair as they connected, very little pain was felt for Al as his muscles spasmed and begged for more which the Brit was only too happy to give.

Each rocketing thrust sent them both spiraling and it wasn't long before Al was ready to shoot his first load. His body burning and aching with the need to release, he shouted out as the milky substance splattered his chest and stomach, some of it getting on Arthur as well. England moaned loudly as he ducked his head to bite harshly into the younger's shoulder while his own release filled Al with wet heat.

Both were panting before the burn started again in their loins… everything burned and felt hot as need filled them again…

Ramming into the younger hard enough to leave bruises, England shuddered before removing Alfred's knees from his shoulders and pulling out momentarily. He flipped the younger and pulled his rear up till he was balanced on his knees and elbows, those beautiful gem like eyes were glistening with tears as the heat filled him near the point of pain…he had to release.

Arthur rammed in viciously while Al cried out and clung to the sheets, his monstrous strength tearing the pillows and sheets sending feathers everywhere as he came again….everything was becoming just a blur, his bowls felt so full of the others essence as he spent himself, their numbers rarely moving far apart as they made love well into the night.

Line Break


A soft groan the creak of the ship drug Al from his dreams as pain radiated through his body. Blinking away the fat tears that threatened to fall, he tried to look around without moving too much and caught the look of that green eyed devil.

"Ar…thur…my tummy hurts."

He knew he was being pathetic but it was a pain he wasn't used too. Bullet wounds, stab wounds, black eyes and bloodied lips sure but sex pains were something he'd never felt and the full wet feeling in his belly along with the raw feeling in his ass and the sharp pains from his back made him whimper.

"Sh, calm yourself poppet." Arthur cooed. "I'm sorry…got a little rough there and forgot that you were a virgin…Come now, don't cry, Pet. I'll carry you to the bath. Nice thing bout ships today…can install tubs ye can."

As he said this he very gently rolled Alfred and lifted him, the younger blonde surprised to find his belly was swollen given how full he felt. Behind a curtain in the corner was a large bathtub already filled with warm water and bubbles. Setting Al within the warmth and comfort of the tub, he watched worriedly as the younger relaxed and allowed his mind to fade for bit.

When most of his pain had filtered away, he scooted forward with a blush.

"Can…erm…do you want to…bathe with me?"

England gave him that warm smile again and slipped into the tub carefully, the hard planes of his body comforting to the younger nation.

"Why are you so strong now?"

Alfred blurted aloud, catching the older off guard. Arthur pressed a gentle kiss to the back of his neck and waited a bit before answering.

"Well…I realized just because my country had its weak spots, I had once been so strong that everyone feared me and the sun never set upon me… When I lost you, I felt so weak that I lost all my strength to go on. Now that I have you once more though, my strength as a person, not a Nation, has returned."

Al just smiled and snuggled back against Arthur, remembering all the times he had been held in those strong arms as a child.

"I love everything about Arthur. Weather he is weak or strong…I still love him."

And Arthur just smiled as the younger blonde dozed for a bit in the warm water while wondering if Alfred would be excited to see the rest of the ship and how their 2 month long vacation would go…he couldn't help the wolfish grin that covered his face.


Line break and back tracking to the world conference


Francis stared at the only other person in the room that stayed, the only sound being their breathing and the constant sound of a lighter being opened and closed.

"What's wrong Blair? No countries to rape, beat and steal from?" the mocking voice of Francis filling the air as he stared at the Scottish Nation.

Blair Kirkland flicked his blue eyes up to meet Francis's own before staring back down at his lighter.

"I raised him well didn't I? He became an empire…he used to be the strongest nation in the world…"

Francis scoffed.

"You nearly destroyed him. You and that brother of yours, Connor tried to kill him then when you realized you couldn't, you coddled him. Oh oh~ but when he got big! You two again tried to kill him! If it wasn't for me protecting him from you he'd be dead."

Blair just smiled faintly.

"Everything Connor and I did was for that boy…still his. He's our brother after all no matter what we do to him."

Even as he said this though, his red brows furrowed and his bit his lip harshly as images of his brother's beaten body flitted through his mind. Francis sat back in his chair with a sigh before speaking once more.

"Then what do you think of this Blair?"

Blair smiled faintly and looked Francis straight in the eye before standing.

"I think he finally found someone who can heal all his scars. He doesn't need me making more."

With that, Blair walked out of the room leaving Francis to ponder over it all.





Finally over!

Sorry about my horrible lemon but I had this weird idea and I just had to write about it!

I hope you all enjoyed it though! Please REVIEW! Thank you!