Pants Down

A/N: I basically got annoyed with all my grammar errors so I decided to correct them all..well the ones I can spot and add an additional mini story about how James met Victoria. And also I just wanted to say thank you for the reviews. :) I feel accomplished lol. And furthermore, a lot of you guys want me to continue but I'm most likely to add a second part and that's it. I'll put it up once I figure out where to start it from.

"Jess," I whispered squirming in my seat. We were in the middle aisle of the theater ready to watch a horror flick, much to my dismay. Horror wasn't in my top favorite genres in the movie category. Let alone a movie about zombies ripping and devouring humans. Gag.

Suddenly, the guy behind me kicked the back of my seat and I turned a fraction to glare at him through the space between the chairs. It was effin Newton Jess's apparent ex, grinning at me before giving me a wink. Honestly it seemed more like a twitch as if he was having a seizure in his right eye. I'm sure he was just trying to find a way to get Jess to notice him, considering she was here with someone else. Ignoring him I shifted my attention back to my so called friend, who was currently fondling the guy next to her.

Couldn't she wait until the lights were out at least?

"Jess!" I poked her side this time gaining her attention. I really needed to pee. My bladder was in the brink of letting loose and knowing how this was a scary movie was just a waiting disaster in the making.

"What?" She asked with a roll of her eyes before giggling from something Tyler whispered in her ear.

I honestly I had no idea how I even ended up friends with her when clearly she couldn't even spare me a moment so I can ask her where the damn restrooms where. Note to self, stop hanging out with her. I was better off asking an employee than her. Shaking my head, I got up from my seat and tried to safely maneuver my way down the narrow steps.

The smell of cheap perfume and butter popcorn welcomed me in like friend. And the chattering never seemed to seize even when the lights began to dim down for the start of the movie.

Fuck this, I'm out.

I let out a deep sigh of achievement after pushing the doors open. I craned my neck from side to side eyeing the hallway for any sign that said 'restrooms here' or 'restrooms this direction bitch'. Tilting my head slightly back to get a good look at the corner bend, I caught a sign pointing me to the right direction. So it lacked the bitch part but nonetheless it was like a beacon for me. I high tailed it towards my relief station before releasing a groan of irritation.

Right on the ladies door was a sign that said 'Out of Order'.

"Fuck," I growled to myself, dancing from foot to foot. I really, really had to go. My eyes managed to linger over at the men's door were it seemed available for use. I contemplated my chances of making it to another restroom, but they were pretty slim.

Crossing my legs, I wobbled towards the door, pushing it open slowly. The first thing to hit me was the intense smell of Clorox in the air. Well I had no worry of it being dirty that's for sure.

"Hello?" I called out, poking my head in when no one answered back. I pulled my head out to look back out checking if the close was clear before racing towards one of the stalls while bending down slightly to peer under the closed doors, making sure that none of them were occupied.

Satisfied knowing I was alone, I shut the stall door closed making sure it was securely locked then pulled my pants down to relief myself. The only sounds were my sigh of relief and the sound of me pissing of course.

As I sat there on the toilet I eyed my old converse shoes, frowning when I noticed one of them had a visible hole on the front from me kicking rocks. Hey I was a girl that had a weird hobby. Well at least if some guy walked in the restroom and saw my shoes, they wouldn't think of 'there's a chick in here'. Because what kind of teenage girl would have old green navy converse shoes? Me, of course. I rolled my eyes, and pulled some tissue from the dispenser when suddenly I heard the door swung open followed by heavy footsteps.

Holy mother fucking shit! I felt my heart rhythm begin to increase and sweat started to dampen my hands.

Please, please hurry up. I then saw a pair of old black cowboy boots passing my stall's door before occupying the stall next to mine. I can hear the tell tale sounds of a zipper being lowered, the sound seemingly echoing loudly in the silence. I tried to keep my labored breathing low as to not catch his attention. Because why the hell would someone be breathing hard in a restroom stall for? Oh yeah, probably jacking off.

Shit not good.

I can then hear the sounds of metal banging against metal. Curiosity got the best of me, as I bended forward to catch the sight of his pants falling down with his boxers. I had to keep my giggle in when smiling faces of Spongebob greeted me.

I gotta say a guy with cowboy boots and Spongebob undies was definitely a cool guy in my book. Suddenly, I blushed red as I realized this dude right next to me is naked from waist down. Come to think of it I was naked too!

I squirmed a bit, hoping he'd finish quickly so that I can wash off and sneak out. However, that hope was diminished when he sat on the toilet, getting himself comfortable with a breath of relief.

Oh my fucking gosh! Please don't tell me he's going to take a dump right next to me!

No, no no no! Great Bella look what you got yourself into.

I was basically, slapping myself on the forehead silently for taking my sweet ass time in here. A few seconds later a high pitch beep from the opposite wall rang out, halting me from my physical self inflicted abuse.

"Shit," a deep voice cursed out before rummaging the pockets of his jeans trying to get the offending ringing item. He was just about to pull the cell out when it somehow slipped through his grasps sliding right under the wall division next to my old worn shoes.

Muthafucking hell!

"Uhm excuse me," a nervous chuckle came from him. "Really sorry about that would ya mind slidin' my phone over?" He had a Southern twang in his voice; rugged and deep. I felt myself start to drip and moisten up from hearing it.

Fuckity fuck! I have never cursed this much in my own thoughts before.

Deepening my voice like a guy's I muttered a short, "Sure."

I think I sounded like a guy, I hope I sounded like one or at least a guy who was in the brink of puberty therefore they have that weird pitch voice.

"Thanks bro," he laughed.

I decided to kick the phone back to this side softly, considering if I handed it to him he would have noticed my black covered nails plus how slim and feminine my hands were. That was definitely something a guy didn't have; feminine hands.

"Fuckin' hell," he grumbled probably reading the text message he had. "Ya know, never get yourself stuck in a situation with a clingy girl. It's bound to bring ya hell."

I laughed then coughed to cover up my feminine laughter.

"Sucks for you dude." His phone beeped again quickly with a new message probably from the clingy chick he was talking about.

"Tell me about," he muttered with a muffled thud from his side.

I hope that was the sound of his fist against the wall and not his turd falling. Ew.

"Uh wanna talk about it?" Was this how guys where in the restrooms? Did they discuss the problems in their lives with another guy in the next stall? But I did felt kind of sorry for the dude, here he was just trying to take a dump and his cell kept beeping with a new text. Geezes what the fuck is up with the chick? Common sense would have let her known to give the guy some of his needed privacy.

A deep laugh made my brows rise and my stomach churn from nervous butterflies. What have I done? I should have kept my mouth shut.

"I honestly don't want to bore ya with this. But ya I need some advice." He then proceeded to tell me that he was dating this chick named Lauren on and off for a while. But he was sick and tired of her flirting around with other guys whenever he had his back turned. He then added that he had zero feelings for her, but he thought being in a relationship would have kept the other troublesome girls a distance from him.

"Seems like she's the type of chick that wants attention to herself. Chick's like that are hard to lose." I was speaking of this from personal view, considering Jess was a clingy type of chick. "The only way to keep that girl away from you is to stop getting yourself worked up whenever you see her with another guy. The only reason why she's doing that is to get you jealous. Like I said she's the type that wants attention. Lessen the attention and she'll hook her claws into some other poor dude."

He was pretty much silent after my long ass speech, his phone beeping continuously though I couldn't hear him texting back or anything for that matter.

"You okay?" I knocked at the wall between us, wondering what the heck happened to him.

"Your voice changed," was all he replied back and my heart dropped right into the pit of my stomach. I was so caught up in giving him some useful advice that I forgot to keep my voice disguised as a guy.

"Shit," I whispered, pulling my pants up in a haste to get out of there.

I was busted.

"Hey!" I heard him shout out, pulling his pants up also. Hell no, I wasn't answering him back or facing him for that matter.

This was too embarrassing as it is! I rushed out the restroom with my pants half zipped up and my dignity left behind.


"Yo!" I decided to call my older brother James hoping he can pick me up from the theater. This day was a big disaster, and I really didn't want to stay here any longer. I decided my bedroom was my safe haven for the rest of my high school life, because there was the chance that I might meet Mr. Spongebob Boxers. The probability was pretty slim with how big Seattle was but no way was I taking a chance. I took one when I entered that men's room and look where that ended me.

"Hey bro, can you pick me up?" My voice sounded a bit dejected and my good ol' brother noticed it quickly enough.

"What happened? Do you need me to kick some fucker's ass?" I definitely loved my older brother.

"Nah, I just didn't want to watch the movie." It was partially the truth. "Horror," I added making James' answer with an ah at the other line. He knew I despised horror movies.

"I'll be there in 15 minutes," I heard a giggle from the background, guessing it was his girlfriend Victoria.

"I can wait, no rush."

"Hell no am I making you wait there. You might get picked up by who knows who!"

"Okay, okay geezes fine." He was starting to pick up Charlie's over protective tendencies.

"See ya!"

"Bye," I muttered flipping my cell shut while stretching my legs on the pavement.

For five minutes I was eying cars pass by through the parking lot when the sounds of footsteps began to increase in volume behind me. I shrugged it off guessing whoever it was would just walk on by. But how wrong was I. The person stopped right behind me, casting a shadow over mine.

I froze and tilted my head back slowly to meet a pair of baby blue eyes with a crooked grin. He had shaggy honey blond hair and a straight nose with a piercing on the corner of his lip. He was definitely a hot guy.

"Well howdy there stall buddy." My eyes popped wide open in shock. I rose up so quickly that it took a moment for me to catch my balance and face him to see he had a pair of black cowboy boots.

"Oh fuck," I gaped at him in horror.

"I don't actually fuck in the first meetin'." He smirked, seemingly amused to see how distressed I was. "I'm Jasper, and you are?"

"Screwed," I voiced out my thought, making him laugh.

Shit, filter Swan!

"I-I mean I'm Bella," I stuttered feeling my face warm up with my infamous blush.

"Pleasure to meet ya Bella, though I must say our first meetin' was the best." He winked, making my already warmed up cheeks hotter. My face must have resembled a lobster by now; a well cooked lobster.

He then walked over to my side, plopping down on the pavement before patting the ground next to him for me to join him. My thoughts ran through many scenarios of me escaping but all of them ended up with me making a bigger fool of myself. With no other choice, I pulled myself down to his side glaring at my shoes as if they were to blame of my predicament.

"How did you know it was me?" I mumbled.

"I saw the back of ya before ya ran out of the door. So care to explain why ya where in the gentlemen's room?" I couldn't help but giggle at his use of words, relaxing me a bit which was rather surprising.

"Uhm, I really had to pee?" I peeked at him from the corner of my eye, catching him gazing at me intently. I angled my head downward, causing my brown locks to cascade down at the side of my face as a curtain. "And the girl's restroom was out of order." I explained in a lame tone.

"Ah, well if nature calls ya gotta do what ya gotta do." I nodded my head in agreement, before silence engulfed us two. It wasn't the comfortable silence more like the awkward silence of who has to talk now.

I straightened my back and took a silent deep breathe. You can do this Bella! Talk to the fucking hot guy before you lose your chance!

"So, she stopped texting you?"

Lame Bella! Lame!

I was imagining myself, slamming my head against a wall repeatedly.

He pulled out his cell, showing the screen at me. It was blank. He turned his cell off. It wasn't meant to be funny, but somehow I couldn't stop the laughter that escaped my mouth. A few seconds later Jasper joined me, our laughter combined together sounded beautiful to my ears.

"Thanks for the advice," I can feel his eyes trained on me, and my heart did a little leap of joy. There must be a meaning behind him not being able to keep his eyes off of me right?

I finally had the guts to look back at him our eyes came in contact with one another, neither of us breaking the intense connection until a car's horn caused me to jump away from him.

"Yo sis!"

Fuck it was James. My ride was here; I gave him a sad smile and stood up, dusting the dirt of my jeans.

"Uhm, I guess this is goodbye?" I gave him a weak wave and started to walk over to the car before a hand caught my wrist, halting me in mid-step.

"Is it okay with ya if I get ya number?" The corners of my lips lifted up as I felt myself smile brightly at him.

"Sure!" He pulled a pen out from his jeans thrusting his arm towards me.

"I lack paper," he replied sheepishly at me with a cute smile. I slowly scribbled out my number on his arm with a happy face at the end. Jasper chuckled from that giving me a wink."I'd give ya mine but I'm changing my number soon."

I couldn't blame him if I had a crazy ex texting me nonstop I'd change my number too.

"I'll be waiting then," I took a couple of steps back giving him a final wave goodbye.

Maybe today was good after all.



[Insert an additional not needed information]

James POV

"Bellz, who the heck was that?" I trained my narrowed eyes at my sister who had a case of the blushing fever.

I managed to keep myself in silence throughout the drive home, though Victoria couldn't seem to stop casting me those amused looks. How can she find this fucking amusing? My little sister just wrote her freaken number on some dude's arm!

"Isabella Marie Swan," I grounded my teeth together, annoyed and rather irritated from the silence.

"Oh for fucking sakes James it was just her number besides the guy looked cute and innocent enough." Victoria, the love of my life, was siding in with some unknown stranger. I couldn't decide whether to be shocked or pissed off.

"He has a fucking piercing! You know what guys with piercings stand for?" I exclaimed, punching the steering wheel in annoyance.

"Oh, it means he's an awesome fuck in the bed." Victoria glanced over at me with an arched brow. "And stop being a hypocrite, Prince Albert." She snickered, flicking her red hair over her shoulder.

"Prince Albert?" Bella finally started to talk, but I seriously didn't want to explain this to her.

"It's a type of dick piercing your brother has." My girl explained nonchalantly as she checked her nail for any chipped paint.

"Piercing…? Oh fuck that is just..EW!" Bella pushed her door open in haste before slamming it shut quickly, running straight in the house like a mad woman.

"Victoria," I rubbed the palm of my hands against my face, trying to scrub away the mortification of my little sister knowing I had my dick pierced. "Was that really necessary?"

"Oh hush you," she murmured, weaving her fingertips through my hair. "I remember the time when I first saw your piercing." She had a devilish grin on her face; her eyes dazed with that far away look in them.

I can still recollect that day myself….

Four months ago…



"James are you at the mall yet?" My mom questioned me for the fifth time that day.

"I'm here now, strolling along in the men's department in Macy's. But mom I really don't need a pair of slacks." I groaned, running my free hand through my hair as my eyes scanned over at all the assortment of pants.

"James Matthew Swan, just humor me. You're a grown man, and men need slacks especially for job interviews, churches, weddings, formal parties-"

"Okay I got it," I pulled an offending gray colored tailored slack from the rack. "I'm heading off into the dressing room."

"Alright dear, just text me an image when you find the good one!" She sang out happily, while I cringed in horror of her ability to text let alone receive images through her cell. I agreed half-heartedly so she would just hang up and leave me in my pants searching journey.

"Just one sir?" a petite blonde hair chick asked me from the dressing room entrance. She was eying me as if I was meat ready for the taking. I would have considered this all amusing if it weren't for the fact that I saw her in a club making out with almost half a dozen guys last week. I mentally shuddered at the thought of what this girl must have caught from one of those guys.

"Yeah, just one for now," I muttered, trying to keep my grimace from showing.

"If you need any help, feel free to just call me." She winked, adjusting her cleavage a bit for me. I was an asshole from time to time, but I'm never one to bed flinty girls like her.

"Thanks," I replied, grabbing the number from her before making a beeline to the very last room. I needed some distance from that chick.

Once safely situated behind closed doors, I shoved my pants down and got down into business.

"Huh, I look pretty good." I smirked, rubbing my chin eying the pants I had on with a smirk. Maybe a couple of these babies wouldn't be a bad idea. Satisfied with the pants, I was just about to unzip myself when the damn zipper got caught in the fabric of my boxers.

"Son of a bitch," I growled in frustration trying to tug the damn thing free. "Ugh, fuck," I muttered. I didn't want to pay for any damaged pants especially pants that cost 80 bucks. Damnit!

"Hello, is everything alright in there?" A soft feline voice caught me in mid-tug. It didn't belong to that blonde from before, but I wasn't taking any chances.

"Uhm yeah-just splendid," I replied, hoping she would just go away.

"Are you sure? I heard some groaning in here and we don't allow masturbation in our dressing rooms." She stated out bluntly.

What the fuck?

"I'm not masturbating!" I shouted in frustration. "My zipper is stuck if you really have to know."

Suddenly, the door was shoved open and my breath was caught in the midst of my throat. A beautiful curvy redhead stood in front of me, wearing a Macy's employee uniform. She had an amused look with an accompanied Cheshire smirk.

"Sorry, just had to see it for myself." She laughed softly, closing the door behind her then taking slow sexy steps towards me. "Now let's see what we have here." She brushed my hands away, carefully taking the zipper in her hands wiggling it. "Hmm you are pretty stuck, no worries I'll get this fixed in no time."

Her soft feminine hands tugged at the fabric of my boxers, brushing against my semi-hardon. I bit the inside of my cheek hard, trying to keep my moan from escaping. With one final tug, she had the fabric free.

"See told ya," Her green eyes lingered at the prominent bulge of my boxers. "Heh, you seem ready for something." She had the decency to snicker.

"Woman you're the cause of this!" I shoved the damn pants down, before I realized in my great haste to get the damn thing off I accidentally included my boxers. "Fuck!"

"Well, well Prince Albert I presume."

Back to the present…



"The best moment that ever happened to me at work." Victoria reminisced with a smirk, her eyes glowing in mischief.

"At least I got you through the process." I pulled her over to my side, kissing her passionately on the lips.

A/N: I honestly would rather have James and Victoria in my story than Tanya. But then it's just my opinion. ;) Thanks for reading!