Again I am writing San/Song Yeon for all k-drama lovers out there. This is based on the human nature that even kings have. That being said these are the times Song Yeon mists up San's brain and gets away with it, while he searches for happiness.
'Heartless girl, how could you leave me like this? How could you just get up and go to China without a single word?'
A deep breath shook San's body as his hand tightened its grip on the agate he got from Song Yeon. She left him. Gone. She was off to China, possibly for ten years or more. Sadness spread through him while he considered the amount of time, a very huge one, he would spend apart from his childhood friend. Ten years, ten Springs, ten Summers, ten Falls and ten Winters, away from the woman he realised just now that he loved. If only he had been quicker. Just a little quicker. If only. He could have stopped. Damn it! He could have made her stay; one word would have been enough. 'Stay.' Stay, stay…the word kept trashing in his mind bringing with it images, memories of her smiling face and twinkling eyes. 'Just stay.'
San-ah. Her voice filled his head, the name given to him rolling off her tongue with shyness. San-ah, San-ah, San-ah. He could go insane, he might as well. She was ripping at his heart with her plain absence. Heartless. The picture of her was so vivid. He could swear the way her lips parted to call to him was almost palpable. Like he could just raise his fingers and trace the shape of her face with it. San closed his eyes against the onslaught of emotions threatening to overwhelm him. And again his mind kept reliving the sound of her voice. San-ah.
'Gods above, what have I done to deserve this?' Yet again the only answer he got was the sweet and soft timber of her voice wreaking havoc on his body, mind and soul.
Ten years. A lot could happen in ten years. China was a big empire, with a lot of residents. Fear nagged at him, slowly pulling at the seams of his wounded heart. She could very easily find someone to love. He prayed she didn't, just for a second he prayed she didn't. The thought of Song Yeon and an unknown man together annoyed him. Together, eating, sleeping, waking, together. Her life revolving around this man and his needs was eating at him. Ten years. That was enough time for at least one child. San's eyes darkened at that thought while his hand clenched in anger, his knuckles turning white. He could see her, feel her, exhausted with a child, just born, in her arms. Cruel. She was being cruel, for leaving and for torturing him like this, for everything.
And now, how would he be able to look at his wife, the Princess anymore without wishing it was Song Yeon standing before him. How could he sleep next to Hyo Ui and not look for Song Yeon's doe eyes on his wife's beautiful face? It would be impossible, that he knew. If only she'd come back. He wished he could turn back time to the night before when they were both happy among the festive crowd on the streets.
Time brought her back to him weak with a raging fever, on the brink of death. San came this close to losing her. Yet she opened her eyes, those warm chocolate pool, and looked at him while he scolded. She was scolded for not coming straight to him when his mother made her take the trip and the position in The Art Academy, in China. But she was back, and that was the only thing that mattered. Finally he could see her again, even if it was just to bask in her presence. To witness her radiant smiles and hold her hand when she cried. He only wanted to be with her despite that she may never see him as he saw her. He would take what she gave him, reigning in the impulse to hug her close to him or the need to touch his lips to hers. He could remain her friend forever if that was what she wanted. But he would never let her get too far from him ever again.
And it seemed that she wanted only his friendship for she refused to enter the Palace as his concubine. She simply refused to become his. For a brief second despair, desolating and depressive despair hit him like a wall of bricks, shattering all the bones in his body. Yet the physical pain was nothing compared to the emotional devastation her refusal unleashed on his already tattered heart. And this time could not sooth. It was like a raw wound bleeding every time she saw her. A blade painfully pierced him every time she looked away, unease filling her eyes. He wanted her to be free around him, free to act as she wished, to laugh and joke or to yell at him, if she wanted to. Anything was better than the numbness that surrounded her when she was with him. An image of her smiling face popped in his mind making him inhale air deep in his chest. The truth was that San simply missed Song Yeon.
His salvation came through Dae Su. This friend of his and Song Yeon's made him see the fact that the girl loved him too. She loved him very much. Relief flooded him when he learned that it was his mother's orders that drove her away, not her own feelings. His only remaining parent wanted what was best for him, he knew. She just couldn't see that Song Yeon was the best. Song Yeon was the reason his life was running its course, the drive he needed to be a better man, a good king for his people. He wanted to make her proud.
'Song Yeon loves me, she loves me…'
Finally he convinced her to come back with him. Initially she opposed to being his consort using stupid reasons like her low social standing and his own elevated status. It was then that he wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake her until she realised the sheer inanity of her reasons. Such petty reasons. He was the King and if he wished it, he would marry her. And wish it he did. She wanted to be with him too. He was sure of it now. She may be saying no but her eyes told a different story. He wasn't going to let go without a fight, a proper fight. He laid all his cards down, giving her time to weigh her options. There was no harm in letting her think now that she had the right reasoning.
Just like he wanted Song Yeon ran up to him. She consented to being with him, sealing her fate, entwining their lives and blending their destinies. The world could talk. His mother could fight it for a long time. The officials could go against it all they wanted, and they would, of that he was certain. Song Yeon would marry him. She was his other half, his soul mate. The Yang to his Yin. San wanted Song Yeon to be happy. Happy with him. That was after all the purpose of life: attaining happiness. But that happiness had to be shared with important, treasured people to mean something, to really mean something. Song Yeon was his treasured person.
What is happiness really? Is it peace of mind, or something else?
I believe it has many meanings which vary from one person to another.
What is you definition of happiness? Write it in a review.
TenTenD over and out!