This takes place after the S4 finale. No S5 spoilers mentioned.
Author's Note: Today is (supposedly) National Water Gun Fight Day, and I have a penchant for water guns. I have written some water-gun, less... polished, crack!fics in the past, but this one is especially for today! It is also National Dance Day and Yvonne Strahovski (Sarah Walker)'s birthday! So, while you're shootin' yo' guns, make sure you do a little jig and sing Happy Birthday to the woman between our favorite bad-ass, blond spy.
If you have not at least squirted yourself with a water gun yet today, that needs to be changed. There is a cure. Here is what the doctor (me) recommends: go to the store and buy a water gun of any sort, whatever you fancy, if you do not have one already handy. Remember: the size of the gun does matter and will affect results. Open the cap to the water gun's water storage container and fill with water. Chilled water for best results, especially in the heat. Change into clothing you are all right getting damp or soaked (you know them super-soakers). Squirt yourself or a friend of choosing a minimum of three times. Up the dosage of squirts as needed.
Enough silliness... or not. Thanks for reading! Enjoy!
Morgan vs. The Training Exercise
For almost as long as Chuck could remember, Morgan had been a large part of his life. Together, they braved the awkward school dances in seventh grade and helped clean each other up after swirlies in eight grade. They braved the over-crowded halls of high school on their first day of their freshman year, passed the awkward, pimple-infested years of puberty, and somehow graduated. They went their separate ways for college, but the friends didn't drift apart for any period of time.
Now, just like all other times in his life, Chuck had his best friend by his side to face the world. Like all of the times he pulled Morgan out of trash cans, or taught him about women, Chuck was key in Morgan's adjustments to the Intersect and his new role with the CIA.
Initially, Casey had handled most of Morgan's training, beginning before he uploaded the Intersect, but even with his new-found skills, Morgan needed serious help. Casey trained Morgan by provoking him, like he often did to Chuck in the early days. A bit scrawny, Morgan was unused to the physical exertion that came along with the Intersect. The computer in his brain may give him the guidelines for the skills, but no number of instructions would save the short, bearded man from actual danger unless he begun to muscle up.
Morgan and Casey worked on hand-to-hand combat every morning. While the Intersect often gave Morgan the element of surprise, Casey's strength easily defeated time and time again during their two hour morning sessions.
Once sufficiently beat up, Casey tested his student on guns and other weapons. As Morgan constantly found himself distracted, blabbering about what badass movies nunchucks were used in or similarities between his video games and real life weaponry, the Intersect often failed to activate. Morgan couldn't shut up to save his life (another spy-related issue) so it was not emotions that hindered the computer's efficiency, as it was for Chuck. Instead, it was his utter lack of focus.
When the Intersect did work, he was able to shoot any target and use weapons he had never seen before. But, during those too often times when he was geeking out, or scared, and the Intersect failed, he had no skill whatsoever.
Casey hoped Chuck, who had been there before, could help, so Chuck established a handler-asset relationship with his best friend. He was able to explain procedures and moves in ways his buddy understood. His exercises were a tad unorthodox, but they worked. Once Casey brought Chuck in and Morgan saw Chuck stay relatively focused, things improved.
As a nerd, Chuck was fully educated on all of the non-holiday holidays. International Talk Like a Pirate Day (September 19th), The International Day of Awesomeness (March 10th), and Star Wars Day (May 4th). Today happened to be June 30th, National Water Gun Fight Day, and he saw it as the perfect opportunity to really test Morgan and the Intersect.
With Casey's grudging approval, Chuck redesigned Castle into a battle ground of sorts. Chuck repositioned items from Castle's main room to look like people were tearing the place apart, and he dimmed the lights to make navigation more of a challenge. To truly test the Intersect, Chuck re-coded the security system in the fashion a former CIA operative was known to do. With the help of both Sarah and Casey, Morgan would be lured to Castle and put to the test.
As his cover, and the owner's best friend, Morgan was still the Manager of the Buy More, and Sarah knew she would find him in his office. She burst through his doors, pointedly looking around to appear worried. "Morgan," she stated. Her tone implied a more serious business, which caught his attention. "Chuck is in trouble. You're the Intersect. We need you."
Excited, and geeking out, Morgan slide across his desk to join her. Overly enthusiastic, he fell flat on his backside. Without getting up, he asked, "What's up?"
Not exactly something a seasoned spy would say.
So far, he was miserably failing, but Sarah continued as an unfazed agent. "Castle was breeched. Chuck happened to be down there, and is being held hostage. We need you to infiltrate their new security measures and flash on the men so we can rescue Chuck."
Morgan nodded, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. "Let's do this." Untangling his limbs, he reached his hand up for Sarah's assistance. As she pulled him up, she bit her tongue. The man was ridiculous.
Instead of immediately leaving the office, Morgan sifted through the desk piled with action figures and paper work to find the microphone for the store's Public Announcement system. In his deepest voice, he said, "John Casey to Mr. Grimes' office, please. John Casey to the office."
"Morgan," Sarah hissed from the doorway. "Casey is already set up and waiting for us. Let's. Go."
His eyes widened and he reached for the microphone once more. In a more cheery voice, he chirped, "Never mind, John. Continue on."
With a minor semblance of a flourish, Morgan finally exited the office. As they walked down the halls, Sarah walked like a normal person, nodding at employees they passed by. Morgan, however, slid with his back against the wall and said way too much to every person they passed. If the Buy Morons didn't think something was up, even Jeff, then something was seriously wrong with their brains.
Casey met Morgan and Sarah in the break room, where they entered the hallways of Castle through the lockers. Sarah and Casey quietly walked down the hallway, without sliding their backs across the walls, and with their guns in hand. They let a less-stealth Morgan lead. He behaved like a six-year-old who was unsuccessfully playing "Ninja." When he started talking about how "awesome this is," the two Agents glared at the back of his head.
Morgan's natural technology skills came in handy in overriding the security coding the hostage-takers, aka Chuck, had purposefully set up. Because he was actually momentarily focused, Morgan flashed on the coding. With the quick solution in mind, Morgan quickly explained what he had learned. "Cody Spencer, rogue operative, whereabouts unknown. This code has him written all over it."
He broke through all of the firewalls and was able to open the doors. Before they walked into Castle, Casey handed Morgan a gun. "I hope you're ready for this," he said.
If he was actually any sort of man, Morgan would not have squealed like a teenager obsessed with Justin Bieber. It wasn't the first time Casey had given him a real gun, but this time was different. To him, this was his first mission and he was excited to kick some bad guy arse. Instead of having the nervous jitters, Morgan was bouncing up and down, Rocky style, as he tilted his head side to side.
Casey had to physically apprehend Morgan's phone from him before he put on "Eye of the Tiger."
Morgan waltzed right into the room, not bothering to scan the area. The only redeeming quality of his histrionic entrance was the proper way he held his gun. However, he failed to scan the area.
Computer towers were pushed over everywhere, tables and chairs turned upside down and sideways. Casey cut left, Sarah right, leaving Morgan to proceed forwards. He carelessly walked around, which was not the sign of a ready spy. When he started calling out Chuck's name, everyone knew they were doomed.
His steps were loud and careless. When he wasn't calling Chuck's name, he was whistling the song he had tried to put on earlier. Because it was darker than usual in the room, Morgan ran into an overturned table and yelled, "Ow!"
He might as well have been going down the checklist of everything not to do in a covert situation.
Chuck was perched behind one of the tables with the intention to test the Intersect's functions when Morgan is surprised. In their training, Morgan's reaction time had been great when focused and not overly excited. Chuck hoped this part of the test could redeem his friend's earlier failings.
When he saw Morgan turn the corner, he popped out from his position and shot Morgan right in the chest.
Morgan didn't respond. Chuck's sudden appearance surprised him, Chuck shooting him surprised him, and the wet stain on his shirt surprised him. For whatever reason, surprise, Morgan, "Eye of the Tiger," and the Intersect do not mix.
Treating the situation as if it were a real situation, Chuck continued to shoot Morgan. Casey and Sarah, who had gone straight to Chuck's hiding place, flanked him and shot him as well.
All Morgan had to say was, "What the hell, man? A water gun?" He didn't even bother to shoot back or break out into some serious Matrix moves.
Casey grunted, and he, along with Sarah and Chuck, lowered their "weapons." Morgan had failed worse than Chuck had in the beginning, which Casey thought would be impossible, especially with Morgan's decent performance on previous missions. He was clearly too pumped up about being the main man.
After explaining the purpose of the exercise, and the meaning behind the water guns, Morgan was more perturbed by the fact that he forgot about the holiday than he was about the fact that he failed in epic proportions.
Chuck, Sarah, Casey and Morgan had all thought his training had been progressing nicely. Clearly, Morgan needed serious coaching in every situation to be able to perform, which was inconvenient and a huge risk in situations they would face. Chuck would quite literally have to be at his friend's side at every moment if they wanted any shred of success. Despite his "mad Intersect skills," as Morgan liked to refer to them as, Morgan would simply be brought along on missions to flash on suspected terrorists and what not until he pulled himself together.
As Sarah and Chuck led Morgan to his punishment, serious hand-to-hand combat training, Casey growled, "Chuck me."