Author's Note: This is my contribution to the GateWorld Rewatch project. For more information please head over to GateWorld (dot) net. Each chapter will cover a different episode (or two in the case of two-parters). Most chapters will probably only contain one character's journal entry based on that episode, however some will contain multiple characters' POV. I plan to cover all characters at some point in time, however, I do have my favorites and that will probably become very obvious. These journal entries will be very short and can be considered stand-alone drabbles, although knowledge of the episode(s) will be required to understand most entries. I plan to update this nearly daily as I rewatch SG-1 along with the rest of the GateWorld Community.
I will welcome all reviews, both good and bad, but I do ask that all reviews are constructive. Why do you or why don't you like it? How can I improve it?
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me, I'm just borrowing it.
My Daniel said that it would be a good idea for me to start writing a journal to practice my English. I am eager to keep learning this strange language of my Daniel. He knows many languages, but he says this is the one he uses the most. I hope to learn them all and be smart like him. It was not that long ago that I could not write at all. It was forbidden then, when we still had to fear Ra. My Daniel has been with us for only a short time, but it seems like much longer with everything that he has brought to Abydos. He is one of the family. No, that is not the right word for it. He is my husband. That is more than family. He is part of me.
Skaara is taking on even more of a leadership role amongst the people. I cannot help but to be proud of him and his accomplishments as he matures more and more every day. He is an honor to our father and to our family and to our people. He misses the friend of my Daniel, the one called O'Neill. He talks about him very often, and hardly lets the fire maker O'Neill gave to him, my Daniel calls it a lighter, out of his sight.
I can say that I am honestly happy for one of the few times in my life. I have my Daniel. The new Abydos, the post-Ra Abydos that my Daniel and my father and our people have created is more than I know how to say in this English language. It is difficult to express in words the joy and peace that I feel today. We lost many lives to Ra, and we have not yet re-built everything that was destroyed, but we work hard each day toward that end. We are recovering, standing strong in our new world, and not letting the time pass us by idly.
I have not yet brought up the topic with my Daniel, but I feel that now we know where Abydos is going as a civilization, and we know that it is to a good place, I think that I would like to start a family of my own. I would like to have children with my Daniel. He will make an excellent father. Already I can see the qualities in him of a great leader, someone who is kind and compassionate, but will speak his mind, and stand up for what is right. Even if it is not meant for us to have children, or for my Daniel to become the leader of Abydos after my father passes, I know that he will succeed at whatever he tries. I treasure each moment that we have together, knowing how fragile time and life can be. For now it is good, and I wish for it to always remain so.
This is stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid, and stupider. But I made a promise. Well, sort of a promise. I consider it a promise, and I think that he did too. I told the little dweeb that I would be ok. It wasn't a complete lie. I thought that I would be ok, and sometimes I still do. But other times, I'm not so sure. Sometimes, I still wonder if it's all worth it. So, stupid or not, here I am writing it all out. Keeping a journal to keep from doing something crazy.
I stopped smoking for the millionth, and hopefully final, time. Retired again, too. I took up star gazing. I can't help but wonder which little speck of light is Abydos. It's funny that I actually miss the little dweeb, hey, I lied for him, I guess I have a right to miss him. Jackson staying on Abydos wasn't the first lie I had ever told in an official report, and it sure wouldn't have been the last if I had accepted General West's offer and stayed on active duty this time.
Anyway, The Simpson's are showing re-runs right now. Turns out I missed quite a bit between my depression, Abydos, and the divorce.
Beer still tastes good, and it still aides in the forgetting.
I went shopping today, worked on the car a little, cleaned out a couple boxes in the garage, that's when I found a home movie, and my entire world crashed and burned, and again, turned black. But not for as long this time. It only lasted a few minutes. And this time, I was actually able to put the disc into the player. I couldn't push the play button though. Maybe someday. It was dated less than a month before the accident. I just can't do it. Not yet. It's still too soon.
I haven't had the dream about Skaara for more than a week now. I really liked that kid. Hope Jackson hasn't corrupted him too much. Who am I kidding? I only spent a few days with the dweeb, and I bet he's got everybody on that planet speaking three different languages, and clucking like chickens, and blowing their noses every two minutes. Jackson's a good kid too, somewhere deep down anyway, past all the nerdiness. I'm glad he found true love. He deserves to be happy. Catherine thought so too when I confided the truth to her. She won't tell anyone. She was happy for him. He never quite fit on Earth anyway. Now he's among a much better people.
Feeling better now, so I can stop this nonsensical stupid ramblings that someone smart calls a journal.
-Colonel J. O'Neill, retired