Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its questionable ninjas, nor do I own Hellsing or Pokémon for that matter. All I own is an imagination and a computer with internet access so please enjoy my second ever fanfic, and I apologize if the characters seem off, I did try my best. P.S this will bash Naruto so if you are a fan, read at your own risk.
This story will start with our dashingly suave vampire Alucard walking through the forest late at night. The forest was ideal for Alucard's tastes; it was dark, dense with the only light available showing from the full moon which was high above the trees. There was a slight breeze which blew his long red coat behind him revealing the glimmer of his guns.
"What a beautiful night" Alucard stated while admiring the moon as it glowed through the tree tops. "It is particularly beautiful if you are a bloodsucker, don't you agree police girl?" Alucard turned slowly to look behind him as the young woman in a police outfit was bounding up behind him.
"Yes master." The police girl, otherwise named Seras Victoria hurried to her master's side, as she pondered 'Why does he insist on calling me police girl, I do have a name, why can't he call me Seras Victoria ONCE'. As the pair stood in silence, Alucard enjoying it and Seras feeling slightly awkward, Alucard stated while making no movement.
"You know, I can read your thoughts, police girl". Seras sweat dropped, and opened her mouth in an attempt to explain herself but the stare she received from her master made her shut her mouth quicker than it opened.
Meanwhile somewhere deeper in the forest, a young woman wearing an older style business suit was ambling through the forest cursing under her breath.
"Where the hell are you Alucard?" Keeping her small pistol drawn for protection, Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing continued in an attempt to find our vampire friend, while under her breath damning him to the pits of hell.
Elsewhere in this seemingly large forest there were a group of four ninjas (not that you could tell). Whether it is their gravity defying hair, their bright clothes or their exceptionally loud voices, they really needed to learn the sacred ninja art of being sneaky.
"SENSEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII, what are we doing out here? Shouldn't we be somewhere else saving someone and being awesome?" the little blonde obnoxious ninja questioned ever so loudly, it was a surprise that no one else heard.
"Naruto, shut up". Our young emo ninja with duck butt hair—"hey I do not have duck butt hair". The emo ninja stated with the most boring monotone voice ever.
"Quiet you, if you keep talking it'll put the readers to sleep". Lykania stated, grabbing the closest object, which just happened to be a hair brush and throwing it at the young ninja. Naruto quickly rushed to his lovers' side to protect him from the evil hair brush.
"WE AREN'T LOVERS". Our young emo ninja yelled while jumping away from the blonde haired ninja.
"But-but Sasuke, that's not what you said last night". Naruto cried waterfall tears.
Let us move away from the over emotional gay ninjas and back to Alucard and Seras. Alucard and Seras were still standing in the exact position in which we had left them, and it was clear that Seras was getting restless.
"Master, why are we here?" As Alucard turned to answer there was a rustle in the bushes behind them. Alucard quickly drew his guns ready to shoot whatever it is, whether it be a zombie or a cute little forest critter. Then Sir Integra emerged, looking like she never had trekked through the forest at all.
"Ah my master, it is so nice of you to join us on this pleasant evening". Alucard stated bowing to his master. He was clearly ignoring the look on Integra's face which was revealing all the ways she would love to kill our sadistic vampire.
"What the hell is wrong with you Alucard? Why the hell did you drag us here?" Alucard gazed up at the moon once more and said in his most sultry voice.
"Well it is because you can't enjoy a night like this in England". Integra became so angry that she in fact was rendered speechless then she sat down on a fallen log and all was silent once more.
Unfortunately for the trio the silence would not last for very long. Since the ninjas trekking the forest are not in fact real ninjas so their sense of direction was worse than a stick. The four ninjas (otherwise known as team 7) soon discovered that they were very lost in the woods. Team 7 stopped and grabbed all the maps they had (which were a lot) so they could find their way back. Unfortunately Naruto froze noticing a glimmer not too far away, then he bolted running at top speed towards the shiny object. All the other three ninja heard was Naruto screaming "OMG, OMG SOMETHING SHINY". In response to Naruto's outburst the rest of team 7 groaned in unison, packed the abundance of maps and began to chase after him.
The night had cooled ever so slightly, not that it had bothered our vampires, and thankfully for Sir Integra her clothes were quite warm. As the three were enjoying the night, young Seras Victoria decided to rest her huge gun on a nearby rock, seeing as they would be there for quite some time. Enjoying the night, they were all in a state of relaxation which is rare and unusual regarding their line of work. Unfortunately the silence and calmness was not going to last much longer.
The trio heard a noise from the distance, and witnessed a blonde blur racing toward them at a ridiculously high speed. Since our young obnoxious ninja is the clumsiest person in existence, he tripped over Sera's gun and face planted so hard into the ground it left a small ditch. Alucard and Integra both watched the unconscious ninja on the ground thinking 'can he really be that stupid?' while Seras picked up her gun. Finally after what seemed to be hours of staring at this young ninja the rest of team seven showed up.
Sasuke saw the position Naruto was in and rushed towards Integra kunai in hand screaming "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY NARUTO". He then was swiftly kicked by Alucard which resulted in him crashing into a tree and breaking it. The rest of team seven, more specifically Sakura prepared herself for battle. Seeing as Naruto was unconscious, as was Sasuke and their leader Kakashi, well he had passed out due to a nosebleed, caused by the questionable material in his book. Integra, Alucard and Seras looked at the situation in front of them, twitched slightly then they simultaneously cracked up laughing. Only then did Sakura see the state of her team and as a consequence she fell over, anime style, knocking herself unconscious. Alucard, Integra and Seras simply looked away and enjoyed the peaceful night once more.
A few hours later team seven stirred and they began to awake. They froze once they saw Alucard, Integra and Seras.
"OMG ZOMBIE!" Our obnoxious ninja stated pointing at Alucard. In response to this somewhat offensive exclamation Alucard pulled out both of his guns and pointed them at Naruto.
"Alucard, put those weapons down, he's just a kid". Integra stated while lighting up a cigar. Alucard grumbled but complied with his master's request. Then as the two teams stared at each other, a loud bang was heard. It seems Seras isn't so careful with her weapon and accidentally pulled the trigger shooting the ground in front of team seven. Since Seras gun is more like a miniature cannon the blast caused team seven to fly through the air while screaming
"Team seven's blasting off again". Then a shot from above was fired hitting the ninja team. "How foolish young people are, that could be considered copyright infringement". A helicopter flew down, and the pilot was none other than Integra's butler Walter. Flew to where his master was in order to take the trio back to England as the Hellsing organization was needed. So the four flew off back home, barely seeing the pretty colours showing the rising sun ending the eventful and beautiful night.