You know how in movies, when there's that dramatic climax where someone finally confesses their love and the music surges? There's a kiss or embrace, then the scene changes or the movie ends, allowing the audience to skip all of the awkwardness and next steps that come after you tell the two most important men in your life that you love them.
There's no stretching silence. No weight of expectations. No feeling of drowning in uncertainty and the absence of fucking words.
God damn, I could use some fucking movie music right now. Not that I'm having some ridiculously trite bought of insecurity. There's nothing but love and reassurance on the faces of the two men facing me. Nothing but love.
Still, there is the expectation that we're adults, and we should know what to do or say in a moment like this. Only we don't do or say anything. Edward just smiles. Jasper grins like a thunderstruck idiot, and I stand there wondering if I should start doing a two-step to break us out of this weird purgatory of inaction.
Luckily, Edward breaks through our odd little frozen moment by pulling both of us into a tight embrace. He kisses my forehead, while Jasper kisses his neck. I marvel how we always have a place to be, to touch and it never feels out of step.
"Is it crazy to think this could work?" It slips out of my mouth so fast I don't even realize I've said it until Edward pulls back to give me a thoughtful look.
"Not at all ," he says, shifting gaze between the two of us.
"Fuck yeah we can!" Jasper wraps his arms around us and crushes us in a tight hug.
I laugh. I can't help it. This entire situation is beyond belief, and there are still so many things we need to talk about, that we should sort out.
Like how I figure into Ed and Jasper's sexual play, or if Jasper is really okay with me watching and participating. Why he cried and if it was a good or bad thing. Not mention, how we handle the day to day. Are they both my boyfriends? How do I explain them to my parents? What do we do after graduation?
It makes my head spin, and at the same time I don't give a shit. We will figure it out, and they're right: we can make it work.
All the stress and questions pour out of me while we stand there, leaving me wrung out and a little wobbly. I yawn and lean my head on Edward's shoulder.
"I think she's fading on us," he remarks, already pushing me toward the bed.
"Funny, since she didn't get nearly as much of a work out as my ass did," Jasper says, while easing off my shirt and gently tugging off my underwear.
"I guess I'm sleeping naked," I say, gracelessly flopping down on the comforter with a grunt.
"New house rule," Jasper replies with a wink.
"Good rule," Edward says, moving the comforter out from underneath me. He climbs in beside me and tugs it over both of us.
"Yes, I'm going to write up a new list tomorrow," Jasper says, sliding in behind me, pressing his chest against my back. "Everyone sleeps naked, and communal showers are at the top of the list."
"Can we make hanging up your towel the next on the list?" Edward adds, moving in closer so I can lay my head on his chest.
"Yes, and dirty socks go into the hamper, not the bathroom sink," I mumble against his skin and get an indignant snort against the back of my head.
"Damn conspiracy," Jasper mutters with a chuckle, while I yawn and laugh, making a weird sputtering huffing sound.
We settle into a comfortable silence, our bodies pressed together in a warm embrace. My mind is foggy and I'm still yawning, but for some reason I can't drop off into sleep yet. I take a deep breath, taking in the mingled scent of both Edward and Jasper. It's familiar, reassuring, and makes me feel safe. I never realized how tense I've been until this very moment.
The room is silent save for the sound of us breathing. Jasper's stubble-covered chin presses between my shoulders, his hot breath on my skin making me smirk into Edward's warm chest. My brain tries to come up with a million different humorous variations on being stuck between a rock and a hard place, but all of them are kind of stupid and would only be funny to me.
So I just continue to smile and stretch out my body so that I can press as much of my skin against them as possible. A little giggle escapes my lips, making me feel like a silly child even more.
"She's giggling again," Edward remarks, shifting closer and reaching over my head to touch Jasper.
"I like it," Jasper practically purrs against my skin, and I laugh out loud, because I'm fucking ticklish as hell.
"Me too," Edward laughs light, leaning down to kiss my forehead. "I think we should get her to do it more often."
"Agreed." Jasper's teeth press into the tender skin along the back of my neck, and I don't even bother stifling the grunt that comes out in response.
"Or that," Edward says with a low chuckle, his fingers under my chin and tipping me up to meet his lips with mine. "I'd be happy to hear you make that sound for the rest of our lives."
His lips and tongue urge my mouth to open for him. I'm a little overwhelmed by his words and breathless from the things Jasper's fingers are doing between my legs. It's swirling in my brain and making my body tremble.
For the rest of our lives. My mind takes his words and runs the possibilities the future holds for us in a stream of countless images. They are silly, misty dreams that make me giddy. That crabby little voice in the back of my mind, that usually tells me how unrealistic those kind of dreams are isn't saying shit. I am so thankful, I catch myself humming against Edward's mouth.
"What is that?" He pulls back, an expression of delight lighting up his face. "Are you humming a song from The Wizard of Oz?"
"Maybe," I reply with a soft chuckle, turning to place a kiss against Jasper's temple while he laughs in my ear.
"Our girl is just full of surprises," Jasper says, hitching my thigh up over his leg and sliding his hand between my legs.
His finger slips inside me with ease. Fuck I'm so ready. I lift my hips, trying to get him to go deeper.
"She'd like to be filled with something else," I reply, placing my hand over his wrist to try and steer his movements.
"Yes, Ma'am," Jasper growls a little, adding another finger, and follows my lead.
"Looks like I'm not the only one who lives to give orders," Edward remarks.
I can feel him moving on the bed beside me, and I shift my gaze from Jasper's hand to find Edward digging in the bedside table. My bedside table to be exact. "What are you doing?" I stutter a little. Jasper's really getting into it, and I can feel myself starting to clench around his fingers.
"You'll see," Edward says with that same dark smile that sends shivers through me.
"Better hurry up. She's close," Jasper comments, moving my leg and shifting to kneel over me.
His hand never leaves my body, but his mouth goes to town on my breasts. Fuck, his mouth and tongue should be illegal. Not to mention the fact that I think he worked a third finger inside of me. I can feel him stretching me. It seems like it should hurt, but it doesn't. It feels amazing, and I'm so wet I can feel it running down my thighs and ass.
Maybe I should embarrassed or self conscious, but here, now with Edward and Jasper I don't care. I feel good, and that's all that matters to me. I spread my legs wider, giving Jasper better access, and he goes even deeper.
"Holy shit!" I bite my lip to hold back the orgasm that is clawing at the back of my spine.
At first I don't realize why I'm holding back. It just feels like I shouldn't yet. This all feels so good, I don't want it to end. Then Edward speaks, and I know why.
"Stop," Edward's voice is deeper, more commanding and it nearly makes me come.
Jasper's hand disappears, and my eyes fly open to see what is happening. Edward is kneeling beside me, my vibrator in his hand. The hesitant expression on his face makes me a little nervous.
"I want to try something with you," he says, glancing down at the vibrator and then back at me, "but I don't want to push you into something you won't like."
"Oh, she'll like it," Jasper interjects, nipping at my shoulder, but I'm too distracted to do anything about him.
"You're not putting that in my butt," I say, half kidding, and get a little laugh out of Edward.
"No," he shakes his head and leans in closer. "I want to fuck you with it."
Realization rains down on me, covering my skin with goose bumps. He wants to play with me. To top or dominate me, like he did with Jasper. Are those the same thing? Fucking, who cares right now? I get it, and without a doubt I want it.
I try to play it cool by leaning even closer to Edward, until our lips are almost touching. "Sure, why not?"
Edward looks me right in the eyes and smiles like the fucking devil himself. "Get up on your knees."
Hello, Mister Mouthfucker.
I scramble to obey. My legs feel like they're filled with water, but I mange to shift into place. Edward watches me with that smile, not saying a word until I stop moving.
"Is she ready?" This time he's talking to Jasper, but the implication of his words makes my back stiffen.
"More than ready," Jasper replies with shake of his head and moves closer. "Where do you want me?"
"Get behind her and hold her up," Edward orders, and Jasper immediately moves to press up against my back, his arms wrapping around my waist.
Normally, I despise when they talk about me and not too me, but this feels different. It's turning me on, especially, because I have no fucking clue what they're going to do.
"Leah, look at me." Edward combs his fingers through my hair and tightens his hand into a fist, pulling my hair a little in the process.
I meet his gaze, trying to not flinch from the pain in my scalp. His eyes seem darker, and the expression on his face sends a shiver through me. It feels like I am standing on the edge of a cliff with nothing but Jasper's arms and Edward's eyes to keep me from falling.
"If at any point you want to stop just say the word, and I will." His tone is that same commanding, low rumble, but underneath it I can hear a hint of concern.
Daylight Edward is still worried about me, still trying to keep me safe. Or still doubting I can handle whatever they plan to dish out. That last thought stings and makes me straighten my spine.
"Do your worst, Sir," I say with a wide grin and jerk my head forward, feeling some hair's tear loose in his fingers.
I'm trying prove I'm not a scared little girl who's going to run at the first sign of something kinky. He should know better. I've read books and watched more porn than a teenage boy. Not to mention watching him butt-fuck Jasper.
While I appreciate him trying to protect me, I've got to put that shit down now. Sure, maybe some of my mental pep-talk and show of badassery is for myself as much as for Edward, but I'm not going to fucking tell him.
"That's my girl," Jasper whispers against my shoulder and rewards me with a kiss.
Edward continues to stare at me, his expression unchanged, but then one corner of his mouth pinches for a split second. Just the hint of a smile and then it's gone. He tightens his grip on my hair and pulls my head to the side.
The angle is a little awkward but not really painful. In fact, the force of it and the way Edward's lips pull back from his teeth in a sneer makes my body clench in response. Holy shit, I'm a kinky bitch.
"Oh," Edward says the word slowly, his mouth forming a perfect 'o' and continues to mock me. "This is going to be fun."
I am about to respond with a smart-ass remark when I feel something hard touch my throat. It is cool and smooth, but I can't move my head to see what it was. Then Edward switches it on, and I don't need to look.
My vibrator buzzes against my skin, sending a jolt of shock through me. I forgot that he was holding it. As Edward draws it over my collarbone and along the curve of my breast, I start to get an idea of what he had in mind. It is driving me crazy.
I'm not usually so sensitive. My breasts are small, and my nipples equally unimpressive. It's nice when someone touches them, but I've never really thought of them as an erogenous zone, until now.
Edward's drawing wide circles around my nipple with the vibrator, just barely touching my skin, but for some reason it feels a million times more intense. He's not even touching my nipple, and it's fucking killing me.
My mouth is open as I gasp for breath and shake a little from the need for him to stop fucking teasing me. Fucking bastard is going to get some crazy evil payback for this shit. I groan in frustration.
He smiles, gives me a wink, and touches the vibrator to my nipple. It's like a live wire, shooting right to my clit. I don't come, but fuck am I close and that is just insane. How in the hell did he get my twenty-dollar mail order vibrator to do that?
Edward pulls the vibrator away, leans in close, and whispers against my ear. "What, no smart remarks?"
Before I can respond he touches the vibrator to my other nipple, making me moan and writhe in Jasper's arms. Some part of me wants to fight back. I should be angry and embarrassed by how easily he has reduced me to a panting, wanton mess. It shouldn't feel this good, should it?
I feel out of control, spinning and spiraling down a hole. Edward's voice and Jasper's skin are the only things anchoring me. It doesn't feel like enough. Panic surges through me, and I jerk away from Edward; Jasper tightens his hold on me.
"Shhhh," Jasper whispers in my ear, but it's too late.
"No," I gasp, shaking my head. "I can't..."
The vibrator disappears, and Edward lets go of my hair. His face fills my vision, a mixture of concern and guilt twisting the features of his face. I want to tell him it's okay, that it's not his fault. It's mine, all mine.
"Leah-" Edward's voice is cut off by Jasper.
"I've got ya, baby." He shifts me in his arms, until I'm facing him and wishing I could crawl under a rock.
Jasper holds me close, pushing my head onto his shoulders, and begins to stroke my hair. "There's no shame here. Trust me on that."
He kisses my shoulder, brushing his lips across my skin, and it suddenly dawns on me that he was in my position earlier. Cocky, arrogant Jasper can deal with this, and I just pussied out on my first go. Now, I feel even worse.
"It's okay." Edward's hands stroke my back, which just tops it all off.
I want to crawl in a hole. Way to show them you could play their reindeer games. What is wrong with me? I was enjoying it. Then it was too much, but I don't know why.
Jasper's rubbing the back of my neck and murmuring encouraging things in my ear. It's starting to irritate me. I do not need to be coddled. No fucking way. I am not going out like this.
"No!" I take a deep breath and lean back, so I can look at him. "Stop this shit, right now!"
It would sound so much cooler if I was sniffing and rubbing my eyes while I said. Fuck, I hate being a girl sometimes. Damn tears and hormones and caring too much.
"Okay," Jasper replies with a smirk, which is still annoying, but at least it's better than pity.
"What can we do?" Edward asks his hands still on my back.
"Help me," I answer him, but I look at Jasper because I know he has to understand why I'm freaking out and it's time for him to share his fucking secrets. "Quit looking so smug and help me figure this shit out."
He doesn't say a word, just nods and pulls me into a kiss. His mouth is hard, hot, and just what I need to clear away my muddled emotions. I dig my hands into his tangled hair and pull him closer, sucking his tongue into my mouth and wishing I could somehow absorb his knowledge through kissing, because we're both shit with words.
His grip on the back of my neck strengthens, reminding me of how Edward held my hair. I moan my approval. This I can handle, I think, and wrap my legs around his waist. He skims his other hand over my ass and slips it between my legs to slid his fingers over my clit.
"Shit," I gasp, breaking the kiss and tilt my head back a little.
"Look at me," Jasper says, his hand forcing me to turn my head. "You like this?"
"Yes," I admit, while his fingers trace light circles around my clit.
"What about this?" His hand disappears from the back of my head and slaps my ass hard.
I yelp and glare at him, but it's hard to look upset. The stinging heat in my ass is magnifying the thrumming pleasure in my clit. So much so that it's hard for me to focus enough to speak. So I nod instead.
"Of course you do," he says with a smirk that makes me want to slap that arrogant look right off his face. "Yes, keep looking at me like that, baby."
He slaps my ass again and slides a finger inside me. I shout in a mixture of frustration and surprise, my body contracting around his still moving fingers. There's shifting behind me and suddenly Edward's mouth is on my neck. His teeth sink into my skin, the pain is sharp and shocking. Jasper brings his hand down again and twists his fingers, hitting me just right.
The orgasm is unbelievable. I don't even have the air to scream. My mouth opens in a silent cry as my body nearly shakes itself to pieces. I dig my nails into Jasper's shoulders while I ride it out. His fingers never stop; they keep bringing on a new wave of pleasure. His free hands grip my ass so hard it's painful, while Edward's bites shift to soft kisses.
The pleasure finally subsides enough for me to breathe again. "Holy shit! How did you do that?"
"Easy," Jasper laughs, laying back and sliding his arms behind his head. "If there is one thing I've learned about you Miss Clearwater is that the quickest way to keep you from freaking out is to piss you off. It's also turns you on a lot."
"What?" Before I have a chance to argue, Edward starts to laugh.
"It actually makes a lot of sense," Edward says, shifting to lie down beside Jasper. "I can't believe I didn't think of it."
"Well, come on. All you have to do is look at how hard her nipples get when she screams," Jasper points out, like I'm not there, which I hate and he knows it.
"Oh yeah, like that time you took her bra when she was in the shower," Edward replies, laughing and giving me a little wink. "I still remember how sexy you looked storming through the house in that wet t-shirt."
I hate that they're teasing me. Though the look on Edward's face when he said I looked sexy is almost making me forget how annoyed I am. Almost.
"I still owe you for that, fucker!" I give Jasper a hard slap on his chest and point a finger at Edward. "You have no business flirting with me while this asshole is teasing me."
"No teasing, honest," Jasper insists, pulling me down against his chest.
"Bullshit," I grumble, but let him hold me because I'm tired, and it kind of feels really great. "You both know that I'm a bitch with a bad temper. There is nothing sexy about an angry brown girl who doesn't know how to shut the fuck up."
"Stop that right now." Edward grabs the back of my head and forces me to look at him. "Forget what everyone else has told you. There is nothing wrong with you. I do not want to ever hear you talk like that again. Do you understand?"
I'm too shocked to say anything. The intense expression on Edward's face is a little scary. I realize now that I have never seen him like this. Not quite angry, but intimidating. I can feel myself shrinking a little under his gaze. Holy shit, and I thought Mister Mouthfucker was impressive.
"Just nod, baby," Jasper whispers in my ear, and I slowly nod.
"Good," Edward says with a smile and leans in to kiss my temple. "We love you, just the way you are."
"Okay," I manage to say, while Jasper chuckles underneath me.
Edward grabs the comforter and pulls it over us and scoots over so I can lay down between them. I'm sticky, worn out, and still kind of stunned by everything that's happened, but I'm not scared anymore. After all, this is Edward and Jasper, my best friends. If there were anybody who could make something this crazy work it would be us.
Author's note: Thanks for your patience and thanks to Jessypt for being a fantastic beta and friend.