DISCLAIMER: J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter & all that is related!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I, like so many of you, spent my day trying to access Pottermore only to keep being disappointed by how much I had to keep waiting. After being inspired by a variety of funny tumblrs and twitters, I decided to write a short funny story to release my frustration and pass time until my clock strikes 12a PST. This is all random. REVIEW PLEASE :)

Harry Potter and the Pottermore Crisis

signed anonymous

The war was over. It was the year 2011 and Ginny, Hermione and Ron all went Harry's room in Grimmauld place to celebrate his birthday. Ron brought firewhiskey, Hermione had cauldron cakes, and Ginny brought the birthday cake. The celebration was last minute, so most of their friends couldn't make it. Regardless, even if it would be just those four, they were going to have a blast. At least that's what they intended until they saw Harry eyes glued to something muggles called a computer.

Ginny tapped Harry, "Harry, what are you doing?"

"I'm trying to access this site called Pottermore." Harry replied without taking his eyes off the screen

"What's that?" Ginny asked.

"Pottermore?" Ron scoffed. "Sounds like something Ginny would like."

As Ginny's face turned red, Harry turned his chair around and explained, "It's a site where muggles get to learn all the secrets of our world and my life. However, only the first million get access to the site and I want to be one of them."

Hermione's face went pale, "But that's preposterous! Why isn't the Ministry of Magic regulating this? Muggles can't simply go online and discover our world–"

"Hold your thoughts, it's 12 am." Harry cut Hermione off while turning back to the computer.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HARRY!" Ron, Hermione, and Ginny yelled.

Harry, however, didn't pay attention to their greetings. He actually forgot it was his birthday. After he refreshed the webpage all Harry saw was that there was a server load crash. A surge of anger and questions soared through Harry's body. Since the server crashed, did that mean he couldn't get access because a million other lucky blokes refreshed the page first? If that was the case, did he have a good excuse to stun his friends for bothering him when the clock struck 12?

"I stayed up till midnight for this?" Harry yelled.

Hermione peered at the screen, "Hm. Server capacity."

"But look!" Ginny squealed, "There's a neat countdown!"

They all counted together: 15-14-13-12-11-10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2

They all thought that after 1 something magical would happen. Sadly, their hopes were too high.

"And... there it is again..." Ginny said sadly.

"Muggles are impressed by this?" Ron speculated. "What simple people they are."

Hermione hit Ron's shoulder, "Don't be condescending, Ron. It's obvious the Ministry is handling the situation. Muggles shouldn't know about our world."

"But that's not an issue, Hermione. In their world this is all pure fiction." Harry said running his hand through his hair.

"So muggles think you're not real?" Ginny laughed.

"Exactly." Harry answered.

Ron scoffed, "Blimey, they'll believe anything won't they?"

"Why do you want to get on the site so badly?" Hermione questioned. "You know yourself better than anyone."

Ron rolled his eyes, "Isn't it obvious Hermione? He wants to see how they see him."

Harry nodded, "That and I hear it's a very interactive experience. Who wouldn't mind good wizarding fun?"

"I guess..." Hermione replied skeptically.

Ginny sighed in exasperation, "So, this countdown has restarted about 20 times already."

"That's annoying. Let's start the party!" Ron, who couldn't stand the waiting anymore, suggested.

Harry yelled, "No! I NEED to get into this site. I WILL be one of the first million!"

At that moment, Seamus apparated into Grimmauld House looking like he combusted something once again. He was enthusiastically greeted by Ron, Hermione, and Ginny who were more than willing to talk about something other than Pottermore.

"Happy Birthday, Harry!" Seamus casually greeted as he walked over, "Sorry I'm a bit late, had to finish something for the Ministry."

"Hey Seamus, check out what Harry's been doing for his birthday." Ron sniggered pointing at the computer screen.

Seamus looked at the screen and his eyes widened, "Oh, hey! Pottermore! That's the website the Ministry told me to blow up."

Harry, who had been so focused on the computer, finally turned around and looked at Seamus straight in the eye and in a low malicious voice asked, "... what?"

Seamus, under Harry's death glare, quickly explained, "Told me to blow up. Slow Muggle access or something: they had to change some things or I don't know. I just blew it up because they told me to!"

"I've been waiting for an hour to find out I wasn't even able to enter at 12a! I thought I couldn't access it because the bloody 1 million already got in!" Harry exploded.

"Whoa! Calm down there, mate."vSeamus held his hands up, "But you're pretty much right."

"Stupid Muggle website!" Harry yelled grabbing his head like he had a headache and walking in circles of frustration.

"Ooh!" Ginny, who was still looking at the screen, squealed, "Look Harry! It's different!"

"What!" Harry yelled pushing Ginny out of the way to find that the website now contained information with how to register your email.

"Oh, so register your email, huh?" Ron said attempting to make the site sound interesting.

Harry balled his hand into fists and started to shake, "That's the same site it was BEFORE 12a!"

Ron shrugged, "That's too bad, mate."

"Yeah, why don't you give up and just get some good rest or celebrate with us." Hermione suggested. "I'm sure it'll be working tomorrow."

"NO! I need to be the first million!" Harry screamed.

Everyone else looked at each other and shrugged. A few more friends apparated into Grimmauld and attempted to greet Harry. However, Ron mouthed not to bother Harry; pulled out the firewhiskey; and walked out the door. Hermione shook her head at Harry and followed after Ron with the new friends while Seamus excitedly fist pumped out the door repeatedly yelling the word shot. Ginny looked at Harry and wondered if she should leave or not.

"Just go." Harry stated.

Ginny sighed, "Harry, if you need us we'll be in the living room."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." Harry said as he glued his eyes to the screen, repeatedly hitting refresh again.

An hour passed and Harry could hear the happy yells of his friends, obviously drunk. He decided half an hour ago that despite how much fun they were having, he couldn't join them until he got into Pottermore.

"2A – Nothing's happening still. No big deal. No big deal."

Another half hour past and Harry still stayed focus on the screen. He looked at his clock, it was as if Hermione still had a time turner and was making time go incredibly slow to spite him.

"2:30 – I'm still good. Just can't give up."

The noise died down as people reached their limits with liquor. Ginny, a bit buzzed, called out from the hallway, "Harry, are you still up? It's already 3A, and most people have already knocked out from the fire whiskey..." Ginny stumbled into Harry's room smiling until she saw what Harry had become, "HARRY WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?"

Harry with puffy red eyes due to recent tears and a lack of sleep, was slumped on his computer slowly clicking his mouse as if he was a robot with no feelings.

Harry mumbled sadly, "The page... It finally changed... But then it shows this find the magic quill junk. And I can't find the magic quill."

"Magic quill? Like the one McGonnagal has?" Ginny asked.


Ginny looked on the screen where it read 7 books, 7 days, 7 chances. Along with the mention of a magic quill you had to search for. Ginny clicked on the find out more link to read more about the task Harry spoke of. After reading it's contents she finally came up with an answer to Harry's problems.

"Well, obviously Harry. The clue isn't posted yet." Ginny stated.

Harry groaned, "I know, but my question is WHY!"

"I don't know, maybe veritaserum the webpage or something." Ginny said, gaining a slight headache from Harry's loud voice.

"Ginny, you're a genius!" Harry yelled kissing Ginny on the lips before getting out his wand and point it to the screen, "ACCIO CLUE!"

Harry's eyebrows arched in fury as nothing happened. He then assumed he did the spell wrong so he tried several attempts: "Accio clue! Accio clue! Accio clue! Accio Quill?"

Ginny placed her hand on Harry's, "I don't think that works on this muggleweb thing."

"Blimey, what is wrong with this site?"

Harry yelled in frustration and was about to smash his computer when someone apparated into his room.

"It has to be defective, Potter, because your name's on it" Draco Malfoy's voice drawled.

Harry glared, "Nobody asked you, Malfoy."

Ginny placed her hands on her hips, "Yeah, bug off. How'd you get here, anyway?"

"Don't ask questions you already know the answer to." Draco scoffed.

Harry and Ginny continued to stare at Malfoy for the answer.

"We're in a fanfiction." Draco rolled his eyes and gestured with his hands, "Anything can happen! And here I thought you were smart."

"Oh, right." Ginny agreed as she realized her life was being written.

Draco turned to Harry, "Anyway, Potter. I just came here to give you a birthday gift: it's a curse that won't open site access until 8:00a! The death eaters and You-Know-Who from wherever he is think it's an appropriate gift."

If there was any life in Harry's face left, it drained at this moment.

"Then that means... I stayed up for nothing!" Harry croaked.

"Pretty much, bye!" Draco laughed as he apparated out.

Harry yelled from the top of his lungs, "#$#$%#%#"

Ginny, still holding her ears from the noise, comforted, "It's okay, Harry. Just get some rest."

Harry nodded and finally left his computer to catch a few hours of sleep before he tried entering the bloody site again, "If that clue isn't there in the bloody morning, I am going to hex this computer to oblivion."

DISCLAIMER: It's 11:41p PST. Still waiting and hoping I'm one of the first to get a clue. I swear, if they don't post it at 12a I WILL hex someone. Don't forget to REVIEW! (I didn't really edit this story or anything, it just came out: so please don't hate!)