To be completely honest, I don't know how it happened. He'd come around so many times before, constantly proclaiming his undying love for me, claiming me as his "woman," and he'd even fought to win my love. And every time I'd reject him, telling him that my heart belonged to someone else. And up until now, that was true. My heart was stolen by the half-demon, InuYasha.
I loved the way his snow-white hair would flow in the wind, his ears twitched upon even the slightest contact, and his crimson kimono gave him the essence of strength and security. I loved how easy it was to fluster him and how cute he was when he got mad. Of course, it wasn't really cute if he was mad at me, but whenever he'd get mad at Miroku or Shippo, it was pretty funny. He had such a tough-guy façade that it made it all the more sweet when he would calm down and talk seriously with me.
He was always concerned when I was put in danger and fearlessly slew whatever threatened me. He put his life on the line to save me more times than I can count and it even got to the point where he became overprotective of me. It was all cute, sweet, and thoughtful. Deep down, that's the kind of person he was, no matter what anyone else said.
But the part of him that killed me - what made my heart bleed the most - was seeing him run off after her. Kikyo. I know that there are some things that I'll never understand about their relationship, but even so, I don't understand what still draws him to her. They were madly in love so many years ago and now she was the walking dead. She was made of clay and fed on souls to sustain her porcelain body. She constantly manipulated him and pushed him away, but he still stayed by her side whenever he knew she was near. It was as if I didn't even exist at that point.
And it confused me about a certain someone else, as well. Koga, wolf-prince, and holder of two jewel shards. He also kept hanging around after I shoved him away. Though, we never had a past and I've never manipulated him. At least, not like she does to InuYasha. I suppose it's because I've always regarded Koga as a friend and always show him kindness and gratitude whenever he helps me and our group. InuYasha always gets so jealous and mad that the two of them are constantly fighting. I usually wind up being the middle-man between those two. If I don't, there would be no end to their battle. Not unless one of them killed the other.
And that's yet another thing that confuses me. Why does InuYasha get so jealous of Koga, but then go running off to find Kikyo? He doesn't see me get into a cat-fight with her every time she shows up, now does he? Yeah, it makes me mad, but I think it hurts me more than anything. To know that the person I love the most, and whom supposedly loves me, too, would just leave me in the blink of an eye to be with his former lover. It's absolutely devastating.
All of these thoughts of confusion and sadness weren't doing me any bit of good. The night was almost over and I had yet to get a wink of sleep. My endless thoughts weren't helping me drift off to sleep, they were keeping me awake! I decided that no matter what I did, just laying here wasn't going to put me to rest. So I got up quietly, put on my shoes, and tip-toed away. I didn't want to go anywhere far, but I wanted to get away from everyone and clear my mind. There was a stream somewhere nearby and the sound of running water always soothed me. So I headed off in the direction I remembered seeing it.
Upon my arrival, I kicked my shoes back off and let my feet soak in the chilly water. The moon shone bright in the clearing and lit up the grassy area. It reflected off the water and the scenery was absolutely breathtaking. I sighed contentedly and let the stress and confusion flow to my feet and be washed away with the current. It was working wonders until I heard a rustling noise behind me. I wasn't scared, though, I had just assumed that InuYasha heard me get up and came after me. So I groaned and absentmindedly started to speak.
"Go back to sleep, InuYasha. I'm fine out here; I just wanted to sit by the stream for awhile. I'll return soon."
But the rustling noise only got louder and when I turned around to send him off, a different figure appeared. It wasn't Miroku, Sango, or Shippo. Not even Kirara. No, it was surprisingly Koga. He stood before me with his arms crossed and a perturbed look on his face. He scrunched his nose up in disgust and scoffed, clearly offended.
"Kagome, I can't believe you would call me by that mutt's name. That's harsh."
I giggled in response and kicked my feet lightly in the water. I closed my eyes and stared back up at the moon, a small smile plastered on my face. I was somehow relieved that it was him and not InuYasha or the others.
"Sorry, Koga. I just automatically assumed it was him, seeing as how he usually notices when I wander off."
He walked over and took a seat beside me, sitting cross-legged, and resting his head in the palm of his hand. He stared at me in wonder, probably trying to figure out what I was doing out here all by myself at this time of night. I couldn't really blame him. Just because it was a beautiful place, didn't mean that danger wasn't lurking somewhere close by. And seeing as how I came without my bow and arrows, I was completely defenseless.
"What are you doing out here? Did that stupid mutt say something to upset you again? 'Cause if he did, I swear I'll-"
"No, no, no. Nothing happened. I just couldn't sleep and decided that getting away from the campsite would do me some good. What are you doing out here?"
He looked up at the moon and sighed, turning his body so he faced the same direction as me. He let one foot lazily rest in the cool water and put both his hands on the ground to support his body. He let his body relax and his features soften and for a moment, he just sat there in silence. I was starting to get concerned that something bad had happened, but was reassured by his response.
"Me and the boys were out doing some late night hunting, but I lost track of my prey when I caught your scent."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to lose your dinner."
"Eh, I didn't need it. Besides, I'd much rather spend my time with you than munch on some pathetic forest critter."
"Ha-ha, well that's very sweet of you. But I'm going to be heading back soon, so you can go meet back up with the rest of your tribe."
"Now why would I do that?"
I didn't know how to answer him, so I just smiled and looked out ahead of me. I could see tiny glimpses of faded light, meaning that dawn would soon be here. I was going to have to go the entire day without any sleep and pray that nothing attacked us, so I wouldn't be locked in a battle and be even more useless than I already was. That was another thing that had been bothering me. The fact that all I could do was shoot some arrows made me feel inferior to the others.
InuYasha had his demon powers, his claws, and his Tetsusaiga. Miroku had his staff and wind-tunnel. Sango had her demon-slaying tools and her Hiraikotsu. Kirara could transform and use her brute strength. The only other one of us like me was Shippo, but he was so young anyway that no one expected him to battle. But I was supposed to be the reincarnation of a strong priestess, meaning that I should be better equipped for battle. I should not only be able to shoot powerful arrows, but I should be able to do everything Kikyo could, almost as well as she could.
I could just be putting too much pressure on myself, but I had this strange feeling that everyone expected so much more out of me. I felt terrible for not living up to their expectations. The only thing I seemed to never fail to do was purify jewel shards and get myself into trouble. I could always do that, no problem. But all my negative thinking must have been sending out signals to Koga, because he was waving his hand in front of my face and giving me a concerned look.
"Hey, Kagome, are you alright? Is something bothering you?"
Now I had to decide whether or not I should pour my heart out to him or lie and say that I was perfectly fine. Koga wasn't always the brightest, but even he knew when something was wrong with me. I must have just been that obvious. But I really didn't feel like telling him everything, because it would take way too long and I just didn't feel like saying a whole lot. So I turned to face him, looked him square in the eye, and said my piece.
"There is, but it isn't really important. I don't know how, but I feel like I can come to terms with all of it. I've been really confused lately, but something tells me that letting it go and letting it take its course is the best thing for me to do. I'm glad you're so concerned about me, but don't be. I know you want to help me, but all you can do for me right now is sit here with me and watch the sun come up."
For once, he was strangely quiet and cooperative. He didn't protest and try and get the whole truth out of me. He didn't try and pull a move on me and pull me close or take my hand. He had nothing to say and instead looked up at the sky and waited. He was calm and patient and willing to wait with me. The others would be up soon and he would leave, knowing that confrontation would be the worst thing for me right now. I don't know where he got all this wisdom and insight - or maturity, for that matter - but I was glad. He had an unnatural calming effect on me, but I wasn't going to question it.
I scooted closer to him and let my head rest on his shoulder. He had a faint blush on his cheeks and it looked absolutely adorable on him. And so, somehow in the course of a few hours, my heart went from longing for InuYasha to wanting to be with Koga. I felt at peace with him right now and my confusion and questions didn't seem to matter anymore. I felt like I could fall sleep on him and I know if I did, he wouldn't object. He'd probably reposition me so I was sitting in his lap with my head up against his shoulder.
And then I got this odd sensation of having my heart race from being so close to him and having it be calm and at ease. InuYasha never had that kind of effect on me. And I liked it, this mix of excitement and peace. It was nice and for a moment - just a moment - it was all mine.
"A/N: Wow, this is my first fic for the InuYasha category and I have to say that I'm not sure about it. I feel like I did a pretty good job, but I also got jumbled and confused. Or maybe I rushed it? I don't really know, but I'd love to know what you think. I'm a die-hard InuKag fan, but I think KogaKag is cute, too. I've been feeling this pairing for awhile now and I was compelled to write about it. So I did. Please don't be too harsh, but criticism is welcomed. I hope you enjoyed."