Having a boyfriend is amazing. Going on picnics, holding hands, serenading each other, exchanging sickeningly adorable texts like "I miss you already xxoo..." Kurt has smiled and laughed more in the last month than he has in... probably the previous year. Maybe two. He had always known the romantic aspects of a relationship would be fantastic.
But what had never occurred to him was how much pleasure he would get from the more physical side of things. Actually he had occasionally worried about how he might react to being pressured into sexual situations before he was ready. It turns out, sexual situations are amazing and there's no pressure required to convince him to kiss more deeply, to press the entire length of his body against Blaine's and grind against him more firmly, to allow his shirt to be removed so Blaine can touch and lick him more intimately. It all feels so good, and he has never once felt like he was being forced into something he didn't want.
If anything, he's starting to have the opposite problem. He's starting to want to put pressure on Blaine. Blaine, who seems so confident, and sure of himself, and who had once offered to tell Kurt what he knows about sex, and who had even convinced Kurt's dad it was time to have The Talk. Blaine, who struts around singing flirty songs, and sometimes entirely inappropriate songs about toys in drawers and rubbing up on legs, smirking and making eyes at crushes and friends and even total strangers like sex is all he has on his mind and there's nothing wrong with that.
And Kurt is the one who's feeling like things aren't progressing fast enough. Blaine is so hot, his touches and kisses feel so intense, they make Kurt's skin feel warm, tingly, alive with energy and desire. He wants more, and he wants to give Blaine more too. His fantasies have started to revolve around how it would feel to suck Blaine's penis, how big it would be in his hand, what it would look like hard and extending up toward Blaine's belly button.
Kurt's mind has never been quite so dirty before. His fantasies had always been sort of vague flashes of feeling and images of being undressed and touched, with some occasional focus on nicely-shaped abs and backsides and arms. But never anything as lurid and specific as the actual act of sex. This is all new, and it's all due to having such an attractive man so close to him, so willing to touch and kiss him, but just barely out of reach. It's driving Kurt crazy.
So Kurt has decided to take the initiative and make the first move. All the first moves, if necessary. The thought makes him blush and sweat with nervousness, but it has to be done. One of them has to move things along or they'll never get anywhere. He and Blaine are making out in the backseat of Kurt's car, at night, in a secluded area surrounded by trees, (cliche, but they have limited opportunities for privacy, so what can you do?) when he finally gets up the courage.
Kurt is kneeling, straddling Blaine, leaning forward into him. Blaine is sitting sideways on the seat, his back up against the car door, his thighs trapped under Kurt, whose shirt is unbuttoned. Blaine's has been entirely removed. Kurt is kissing his neck, exploring his chest, making him moan and writhe breathlessly. He starts moving one hand down Blaine's side, past his ribcage, over his waist, to the top edge of his jeans.
He keeps kissing Blaine's neck, and bends his body to make a space between them. He traces the fabric around to the front, and lightly, timidly, moves his hand down, to touch Blaine's private parts through his clothes. He hasn't even had time to find and touch his erection when Blaine grabs his wrist and pulls his hand up and away.
Kurt moves to kiss Blaine's mouth, nibbles his lower lip in a way that always makes him moan, and moves his hand back down again.
Blaine turns his head away from Kurt's persistent mouth. "Stop." He grabs Kurt's wrist and doesn't let go this time, until Kurt backs off to look into his eyes.
Blaine's lips are red and his eyes are dark with lust. He's panting. "Just... don't. I can't. It's -"
"I just want to touch you. It'll feel good."
"I know, but I can't. Please, just... It's complicated."
Kurt kisses Blaine's lips, feels him buck up against him, feels his hands gripping him. "You like what we're doing so far."
"Do you want me?"
Kurt studies Blaine's face, watches his chest move as he breathes deeply. "Are you... afraid of, um" his voice quiets to nearly a whisper. "Coming? Because I kind of really want you to."
Blaine turns his head to the side and looks away from Kurt. "It's not that. It's something else. I really really don't want to talk about it." He's blushing.
Kurt frowns. "Blaine. Look at me." He waits for Blaine to meet his gaze. "Tell me the truth. Are you actually attracted to me? Or am I turning you off? Am I making weird faces or noises or something...?"
"No! No, you're not doing anything wrong." Blaine cups Kurt's face in his hands. "You're great. You're hot. I promise. I really do want you." He kisses Kurt tenderly.
Kurt sighs. "Then why can't I touch you?"
"I swear, it's not anything you've done. It's something about me. I'm just, I'm... weird. I don't know. I can't tell you yet, but I swear I really want to go further with you. I just can't yet."
Kurt tilts his head and searches Blaine's face. He shifts his hips.
Blaine's eyes are drawn by the movement, and he gasps and brings his hands down to the button of Kurt's pants. "I could do something for you though. I'd like to. If you want me to."
Kurt pushes his hands away and sighs. "No. I don't want it to be one-sided."
"I really don't mind..."
"No. If I can't do anything for you, you can't do anything for me. Fair's fair."
Blaine pulls back and slumps against the car door. He nods. "Fine."
Kurt tilts his head back and takes a long, slow breath. "I'm sorry for pressuring you," he says through gritted teeth. "It won't happen again."