Just to say I am not Stephenie Meyer. I'm just having fun making Bella badass.

The girl walked heavily down the dark and empty street, the makeup on her face causing her skin to feel as though it were cracking apart. She kept her dark eyes trained o o n the pavement, her black-painted lips set in a deep frown. The wind snuck into her coat, causing her to wrap her arms around herself tightly as though she were trying to hold herself together.

It was past midnight and she knew she shouldn't be out alone – the shadows caused by the flickering street lights made her anxious. She should have just taken a taxi home, but money was painfully tight and it was a case of get a lift or eat for a week. Then again, food didn't really matter much if you got killed in the middle of the night walking home from a club.

It wasn't even as if the night had been worth it. A friend of a friend had heard about this 'totally awesome' band represented by someone's roommate's brother. She liked a little cathartic musical screaming every now and then, but she had expected to hear at least some modicum of musical talent. Even she knew more chords than the lead guitarist.

And now she had a choice: take another half hour walking home through the streets of Brooklyn, or cut that time in half by taking a shortcut she knew through potentially psycho-infested alleyways.

She rubbed her eyes, smudging the melodramatic eyeliner even more.

"Fucking idiot," she muttered before throwing herself rather decisively into the dark path to her right.

Shaking, she stumbled and nearly twisted her ankle on a half-empty beer can. She hissed as her hand scraped the wall, tearing away skin and marking the brick with her blood.

"I often wonder how your species has managed to live so long."

The girl gasped as the icy voice slid down her spine. She had never heard such a cold voice before-so devoid of any human emotion. She turned and saw a figure separate itself from the darkness ahead of her.

"Have you no sense of self-preservation? You must have watched a movie or two–ssss urely you know that little girls walking alone down dark alleyways at night never come out the other end. Maybe that's why you came down here."

The girl stumbled back a few steps and the figure mirrored her movements, coming to stand right in front of her with unnatural speed.

"Please," she whimpered. "I don't have much money, b, ut you can have it. Please, just don't hurt me."

Through the darkness she could see the creature's lips curve into a humourless smile. It was a man: a completely beautiful man with high cheekbones and sculptured jaw. He reached out a hand to her and she felt a thrill of excitement-and fear-at the feel of his icy touch.

"You don't want me to hurt you?" he murmured, almost sympathetically. "I think you do. Why else would you be here alone at this time of night? Your despair is written all over your face: your dark eyes, painted skin, and ripped clothing. You are screamingbu but but no one can hear you." He leaned his face toward her and breathed into her mouth. She felt her body melt at the taste of him on her tongue. "I can hear you," he whispered, his lips brushing against her jaw. "Let me make the pain go away."

A strange sound erupted from the small girl, making the creature pause as he breathed in her delicious scent. Her body was shaking uncontrollably and odd snorting sounds were spilling from her mouth. She was ... laughing?

"I'm sorry," he said, completely bewildered. "Is something funny?"

At this, the girl burst into loud peals of laughter.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she muttered through her mirth. "I tried to keep it together, I really did." Her laughter slowed until only sporadic giggles escaped. "But seriously, dude, 'Let me make the pain go away?' Are you trying to be a cliché?"

The vampire stepped back to stare at the girl before him. She was wiping tears from her eyes, streaking black lines of makeup into her hairline. "Excuse me?"

"I mean, I totally get it now. Your M.O-why you go after the emo kids. You obviously feel some kind of affiliation with them. Maybe instead of killing them you should go get some coffee and talk about ... oh, I don't know, how your life is a black abyss. Are you suffocating under the weight of a thousand souls?"

"Wh..." The creature floundered. The girl had somehow managed to escape his grasp during her little monologue, and he wasn't sure he could remember when it had h h appened. Now she was standing a few feet away from him, staring up at him with huge eyes. "What are you talking about?"

The girl grinned apologetically and he couldn't help but think she was playing with him. He started to get frustrated.

"Oh, I apologize," she said, rather more solemnly than before. "I tend to talk too much when I'm about to be killed by a vampire. Would you rather I just shut up? I want to make this a pleasant experience for you."

He stared at her. How did she know?

"Shall I just stand here like this? Would you like me to scream a little? Beg a bit more? You seemed to like that before-a girl knows these things."

The vampire bared his teeth and let out a menacing growl that reverberated deep in his chest. The girl shivered.

"Oooh, that was scary. Do it again."

The vampire pounced.

He didn't even see her move, but suddenly his hands were grasping at nothing but air. He spun around, disoriented, to see her standing in the middle of the alley, staring at him expectantly.

He lunged once more, and again she moved–fffaster than any human had a right to. He felt her hand grip his wrist painfully tight and then found himself on the floor, a knee digging into his back and the tiny bones of her hand flexing against his skin.

"So we're done with the talking?" she asked in a hard voice. A sick crunching sound–like a stone being wrenched in two-fll-ffilled the alleyway as she pulled the vampire's arm from his shoulder. He let out a high, keening shriek. "The screaming is always more fun anyway."

The vampire pushed hard against the ground, throwing the girl high into the air. Falling in a crumpled heap on the floor, she jumped immediately to her feet and threw the twitching limb away from her.

The blows that came after happened too quickly for the human eye. The vampire threw a punch that the girl dodged; she ducked down to lay a devastating strike to his stomach, causing him to stagger back. As he floundered, she delivered a shattering kick to his head, throwing him against the wall which cracked and crumbled under the force.

She dove after him but he turned around quickly, swiping her feet from under her. He flew on top of her and reached for her neck. His fingers closed around her throat and for a moment she panicked, bucking against him, scrabbling ineffectually against his hand.

"How are you doing this?" He asked, eyes blazing as his thumb pressed impossibly tighter against her windpipe. "You should be breaking, but still you fight."

Quickly shaking off her panic she curled his hand around the knuckle of his thumb and twisted. His eyes widened as she pulled his hand away from her, his power lost in a mere moment by a basic grip. Taking advantage of his shock, she threw a punch to his sharp jaw that caused him to fall back. Scrabbling after him, she dealt blow after blow to his beautiful face, and when she felt him weakening, without a moment's hesitation or doubt, she knelt on his chest, placed her hands against the sides of his head, and pulled.

The red eyes still saw her and the teeth were still bared, even after his head had been separated from his body. The body itself still struggled against her weight and the arm that was still attached dealt a glancing blow to her side.

She stood up heavily, ripping the limbs from his body in a rather routine fashion. Making sure that all of the vampire's body parts were a good distance from each other, she removed a sachet of green powder from her pocket and sprinkled some on the ground.

"Getting low," she muttered to herself.

Removing a box of matches that had the name 'Irene's Bar' written in cursive on the side, she struck one and threw it onto the ground.

The powder erupted in a roaring blaze, causing her to take a few staggering steps back. Hurriedly-before some tattle-t-t ale phoned the police to report her for arson again-she gathered the vampire's body parts and tossed them into the fire.

Locating the head after briefly losing it in the dark shadows of the wall, she lifted it by the hair to throw it unceremoniously into the flames thereby destroying it forever.

"Who are you?" A weak voice murmured.

A little freaked out–sssshe would never get used to animated, decapitated heads-she looked into the vampire's terrified crimson eyes and smiled.

"I'm Bella Swan," she said darkly. "Say hi to the others down there for me."

The head ignited with a burst of green light, illuminating her small figure as she ran into the darkness.