I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
I swear I haven't dropped off of the face of the earth. I have had this outtake sitting on my computer for far too long. I know some people were waiting to see Jasper again.
But I have my excuses… the writing but was fighting me. I was missing the desire and love that I felt in chapter 1 while I was writing. Then there's always the RL factor.
But I'm trying to come back! I swear!
I have started my next story. I'm not going to start posting it until I find a beta and until I at least get half way through writing it (Now I'm about a quarter).
So here it is… I don't know if it's the last or next to last. Let me know what you think.
I do not own Twilight.
"Please, Edward," I whispered against the sensitive spot of skin between his hair and ear between kisses.
I heard a low grunt in response to my ministrations.
My fingers ghosted across his rib cage and down his sculpted abdomen while spending an extra moment brushing against his nipples. "For me," I breathed.
"You can't-" Edward started. I felt his throat move up and down as he swallowed, then he tried again, "You can't go to church if you're in my bed sinning, Jasper."
I moved to push Edward onto his back. I kissed a line curving from his ear lobe to his nipple, taking a nip of skin here and there along the way. Just before I reached his promised land, I looked up at him through my eyelashes and whispered, "How is making my husband feel loved and cherished a sin," before taking him in my mouth.
I made sure that Edward was unable to respond (verbally) to my question. As I sucked, his head fell back against the pillow and his hips bucked towards my mouth. He groaned the soft sound that vibrated his body under mine. It only made me harder knowing how I could affect him.
I gripped him and moved my mouth at a steady pace until he finished.
I climbed back to my pillow, laying my head next to his.
"Edward," I said softly, "This is important to me. Please, I told you why. Won't you go with me?"
He turned his head towards me and stared into my eyes for a long moment, considering his response. "We talked about this, Jazz. I just don't think you need to be in church every Sunday to believe that there's a God. I don't think that God is going to count the Sundays and send me to hell for that and I definitely don't think going every week is the least of our concerns if all of those holy rollers are right and we're going to hell anyway.
I sighed as I considered the concerns that I had only heard a hundred times before.
I knew that going to church was completely out of the question for Edward while he was still recovering. He had a lot of pain and was restricted to how much he could move and for how long.
When the cane was finally retired, we were married and went on our honeymoon. It still took me three months to gain the courage to tell him how I felt.
I sat him down one evening after dinner and explained how I had prayed and made those promises that I intended to keep. I felt this was an obligation I had to keep.
Of course he reminded me of how you can't make promises to God, but I was strong and told him that I was going to go to church and it would mean a lot to me if he came with me.
He gave in somewhat. He told me to find a church where we could attend without being looked down upon and he'll go with me.
When he made that agreement I think one of two things happened in his mind. He either thought I wouldn't be able to find a place where we belonged or I would give up before I did.
But I was adamant. I went online and found lists of churches that supposedly welcomed gay couples. I started a radius search from our house and began calling. A few chuckled, but most of them were willing to talk to me to answer my questions.
Another two months after Edward agreed to the first part of our arrangement, I provided him with the information to the church I had found. It was a large congregation that had a gay and lesbian meeting group every Tuesday night. The usual Sunday service started at 10:30 and typically lasted an hour and a half.
Being less than a mile away from our condo, we could still sleep in on the weekends without having to rush to get ready for church.
Edward knew all of this.
When I brought him the information, he seemed surprised at the amount of information I was able to gather on the telephone and from the internet.
I dragged his feet and made excuses, but now it was time to go.
His green eyes stared into my own, I stared back unblinking.
Finally, he reached up cupping my cheek and asked, "It's really important to you?"
I nodded, "It is, babe. Please come with me."
He let out a noise, it sounded like a sigh and a groan together. "Alright," he eventually relented, "But if we're going to get there on time you had better get out of bed."
"Me?" I asked, eyes wide.
Edward chuckled as he jumped out of bed and raced to the washroom. I chased after him and stood next to him at our double sinks.
It was one of those rare, lovely mornings where I could have watched Edward stand in front of the mirror for hours, but I quickly had to shake myself out of the trance he had me in when he shot me the signature smirk.
I jumped in the shower and raced to get dressed. I refused to be late for my first day of church in seven years. If God wasn't going to strike me down for giving my husband a blow job to wake up the morning, he may for being late for church.
Before the clock could chirp its usual ten o'clock sound, we were both standing in front of the door donning our shoes.
Edward looked amazing, although that wasn't anything new.
He wore a pair of charcoal grey pants with a royal blue button down. His Rolex hung from his wrist as he bent down to tie his black Italian leather shoes, of course sent from Alice. I was dressed in black slacks with a coordinating button down with a fine blue pin stripe also provided by Alice.
Before I knew it, we were in the car, speeding down the street towards the church. Really, we were early enough that we could have walked the short distance, but Edward insisted on driving the Aston Martin.
He really missed that car. The first time he was able to walk freely outside, I found him running his longer fingers down the smooth lines of that car. Barely a week later, he threw me the keys. I know it killed him to do it (he NEVER allowed me to drive that car), but he said he needed to get away and we went for a drive up to the border and back.
We were at the church in less than five minutes. He parked behind the church and we walked around the building together following the other congregants.
I walked close to Edward as we normally do in public with our shoulders barely brushing together as we move. I reached out to squeeze his fingers in mine. If he was feeling any of the apprehension that I was, then we needed that closeness to get through our initial visit to this place.
His arm stiffened as I touched his fingers, but he squeezed back briefly before dropping our hands back to our sides.
It didn't take long until we had reached the main entrance of the church. The building was a whitewashed stucco hall with a short steeple. The red painted doors were held open to allow the people ahead of us to file through.
There were men and women standing just inside the doors that we could see who were chatting with those who passed by and were handing out programs.
I realize that it was me who had pressed to attend church, but being so close, made the butterflies in my stomach start to erupt.
My husband, who was always hyper-aware of those things going on around him looked calm and just the slightest bit arrogant as if he were attending just another board meeting at work.
I saw him glance at me out of the corner of his eye and he reached over and grabbed my hand despite his earlier apprehension.
So that is how we entered church for the first time together. He held my hand in his and greeted the usher kindly as if we had known him forever.
I noticed the young man, who introduced himself as Benjamin, glance at our joined hands before returning the greeting. My back stiffened and I prepared myself to be outcast the same as I had been those years ago when I still lived in Texas, but he did nothing but smile and invite us further into the bowels of this place.
As we were speaking, Benjamin obviously glanced over my shoulder and beamed.
I thought that meant the end of our conversation until he clasped me on the shoulder and said, "Amun! Come and meet our new guests!"
A gentleman, slightly older than the rest of us with dark hair and dark eyes stood next to our usher and stared. Benjamin introduced us to the older man who also quickly took notice of my proximity to Edward.
I squirmed slightly under the older gentleman's stare. Finally we heard his deep voice greet, "Edward, Jasper. You must join us this Tuesday for our evening retreat. Many of the other partners and couples we have here are planning to come. We were planning a potluck of sorts before we study the Word this week."
My strong, confident Edward smiled back at the man answering, "Of course, we would love to attend. We will just need to check our schedules."
Edward's calm words and the organ music drifting through the chapel doors saved us from further discussion at this time.
Edward and I quickly found a space to sit in the rear pew and the service began.
I know I should have paid more attention to what the minister was saying from the front of the auditorium, but the colors and varieties of people mixed in this room grabbed my attention from the older gentlemen holding the hands of their wives to the group of young girls sitting in the middle who were desperately trying to get noticed by the section of boys across from them.
What really grabbed my attention was the woman sitting in the front row. She was dressed in a bright pink frock and wore an enormous flopping hat upon her head. She even had a feather which matched her dress tucked inside the brim. She was impossible to notice.
What was more impossible to notice was when she stood up to give the announcements of activities for the week she was at least six foot, three and she spoke with a deep baritone voice.
I know my jaw dropped to my chest as I took in this person who was comfortable being herself. I don't know how long I stared for, but I eventually felt the vibrations of Edward's silent chuckle beside me. My eyes slid across to his and we shared the smirk.
Edward tossed his arm across my shoulders and I relaxed back against his shoulder. We stood when the others stood. We sang the songs and listened to the minister speak about the day's lesson.
We even showed up to the potluck Bible study on Tuesday evening, carrying a pot of my pork chili with us (in my car, because God-forbid it spilled in his.)
We didn't make it to church every week, but most weeks we tried. A few times Edward's parents and Emmett and Rose came with us if they were visiting us for the weekend and they were welcomed just as we were on our first visit.
I agreed with Edward. We didn't need to go to prove that we went to church on Sundays.
We went because it seemed to help close that painful hole in my chest that opened just a little the day I was afraid I would lose the love of my life forever.
I knew, deep down, we were good people. That no matter what happened in this life; we had another waiting for us on the other side. It would be a life where nothing could hurt us, there would be no more sickness and we would be together… forever.