Hey I'm Jason. I'm not going to bore you with a full origin story. Here's the wrap up:
Boy meets beautiful girl. Boy falls for girl. Boy will give anything to be with girl. Girl ends up being the devil. Boy loses soul ends up being the devils bounty hunter.
So yeah that basically sums it up in a nut shell. I work for the devil and me and my buddies Mitch, Jeff, and Jeff's girlfriend Alyssa, help me catch escaped souls from hell. It's been about a month since I got assigned this job and it shows no signs of slowing down…
My head started to hurt at school, I hated school especially when all it does is drag on. Well, everything seems to be dragging on when all you think about is soul hunting. I'm a Junior in college, I don't really have a major but hey I'm working on it! That counts right? Man, I'm rambling again sorry.
The teacher dismissed class and I couldn't get out fast enough. I got my longboard and skated as fast as I could. I was late to meet my buddies at the cafeteria. That's when the sidewalk turned into a culedsac in a neighborhood. Aw man I hate when he does this…
I fell off of my longboard hard and rolled on the street all the way up to a pair of shiny dress shoes connected to pinstriped pants and a pinstripe suit jacket, filled with a tan man with peppered hair and blue eyes.
"You have got to start wearing your helmet more buddy boy!" Satan laughed at me.
"Ow…You did that on purpose…" I said to him as I started to stand. I looked around us and there was a house surrounded by police cars and caution tape. The police were too occupied with the house to notice us walking towards the body bag with a giant red splosh where the head should be.
"Uh where are we? What is this?" I asked as I started to lift up the sheet. I quickly covered the sheet and covered my mouth to keep from throwing up. "OH MY GOD, WHAT IS THAT?"
"That is the fine work of your new assignment!" Satan said as he clapped his hands together. "He smashes his victim's heads in!" he said gleefully and to my terror.
"He smashes heads in?" I asked shrilly. Satan put his hand on my shoulder and started walking me away from the scene.
"Jason! No worries pal. You and your crack pot team should put him in the vessel in no time!"
"Wait I still have questions!" I yelled as he moved his hand from my shoulder to my back and gave me a hard push. I rolled on the sidewalk at my university. I stared into the 'void'
"Where is my long-" I got smacked in the face with my longboard. "Ow!"
"So he bashes people heads in? Like bash bash? Caved in and everything?" Jeff asked as he picked at his salad. I nodded as I moved the frozen bag of peas off of my face. I scratched my face softly and I placed the bag on the table. Mitch slapped me on the arm.
"Dude did you get the new vessel yet?" Mitch said with a mouth full of burger. I wiped the burger that flew onto my cheek from his talking.
I shook my head, "No not yet. I don't know why I keep getting headaches lately."
Alyssa chomped on an apple and sat back thinking hard.
"Maybe it could be like radar or something."
Jeff looked at her with a skeptical look, "What do you mean?"
"Well tell us about the headaches." Alyssa said taking another bite.
"Well I had it when I was in class at the Comp building but it went away as soon as I left." I said nonchalantly.
Mitch, Jeff, and Alyssa looked at me waiting for something.
"OH!" I gasped. "He bashes heads in and I get headaches. Oh maybe he's in the building on campus!" I said, everyone else looked relieved.
"We'll check it out tonight! Let's go back to the apartment maybe the vessel is there." Jeff said as he finished his salad.
"But I'm not done yet!" Mitch said as he continued to shove burger and fries into his mouth as we got up. "If I get a tummy ache because of you Jason, I punching you in the nads!" he said with a mouthful.
We got to the apartment in Jeff's red pick up truck. Mitch and I always have to ride in the truck bed Alyssa always rides shot gun. I walked up to the apartment so I could put more ice on my face. It hurt from my longboard, I then tripped. I sat up and saw the brown wooden box with latin carved in it. Mitch, Jeff, and Alyssa ran up to me and noticed the box. I pulled it onto my lap and lifted the box top, White smoke filling it and reached it inside and I felt a wooden handle. I pulled out a sledgehammer and it was heavy.
"This is it? This is the vessel. Aw man how am I gonna carry this thing around and not look like a psychopath!" I said as we walked into the apartment. Mitch took the sledgehammer and examined it. I looked up at him as I slumped down on the couch.
"So what do you think bro?" I asked him Jeff and Alyssa next to me.
Mitch lifted it into the air and shouted, "Thunder... Thunder… THUNDERCATS HOOOOOO!" he chuckled and looked at us. "Thundercats… What nobody? You guys are dead to me and I don't love you anymore." He said as he placed the sledgehammer down and got into his recliner that he decked out himself.
"So you have headaches and a sledgehammer. Nice." Jeff said as he crossed his arms. Alyssa leaned her head on his shoulder and looked at the sledgehammer. I got up and walked to the fridge. I pulled out an ice cold Guinness and got the sledgehammer and put it on my shoulders. I took a sip from my Guinness.
"Ah. Well-uh what do you guys think we should do tonight for scoping out?" Jeff asked looking at Mitch and I.
"Covert… All black… ninja stuff." Mitch said leaning forward, I took another sip of Guinness.
"Yeah that could work." I said looking at Jeff and Alyssa, Alyssa rolled her eyes.
"I'm not going with you 'kiddies' tonight I have studying to do, you know actual school stuff?" she got up and headed for her and Jeff's room.
"Dead weight! Jason, Jeff, we're going into stealth mode. Jason, hit the "Jackal Switch."
I pretended to flip an imaginary switch and Mitch got up and did a roll on the floor all stealth like.