From: J. Trevizo
Subject: New story – Perspective
Rating: T for language, mild violence
Spoiler: Everything through Season 1, episode 9, "As You Were".
Disclaimer: I do not own Haven and am not making any cash here – I'm just playing with the characters, plot, etc created by others.
Relationship: Audrey/Nathan, UST
Summary: First person points of view from the episode "As You Were," approximately starting at the cracked wall scene. Slight AU in pieces where the show cuts scenes.
Author's notes: This is a 3 part story in 3 different points of view… something I have not done before – I hope it works and if so, let me know. To my readers in other fandoms… if you haven't seen this show, season 1 is on DVD (and Youtube) – it really is worth a look.
Hello there. This is my first time writing for the Haven fandom but this is far from my first fic anywhere though. With season 2 kicking off I started re-watching some of season 1 and saw in episode 9 some really interesting dialog, expressions and actions on the primary cast that I'd missed the first time and begged some extrapolation, so here it is. Now, on to the story…
By Jeannine Trevizo
I and several of the others are discussing the huge crack that had appeared in the wall, which wasn't normal at all, even for Haven when I hear the gunshot.
"Nathan!" I yell from where I'm standing with Julia in the doorway of the room, shocked as I realize what's just happened.
Nathan just shot Audrey.
"You killed my friend!" yells Nathan, and I realize that he's gone off the rails.
What does he mean by Audrey killing his friend? She is his friend…
I watch as Nathan leans over Audrey, speaking in low tones, too low for me or anyone to hear. His posture seems… pained. Of course, if I just shot my partner I'd be hurting too.
"What did you do?" Vince asks, confused… hell, we all are. Only Nathan seems to know what's going on.
"She's the chameleon," Nathan says very simply but loud enough for everyone to hear, his eyes never leaving Audrey's body.
I'm just now catching up. The chameleon kills whomever's body it has. And if Nathan is saying that this person on the floor bleeding is the chameleon, then that means Audrey…
Oh holy hell.
There are more quiet words between Nathan and the chameleon and then his back straightens before he lunges at the thing, his hands gripping Audrey… the chameleon's shoulders and shaking.
"Where is she? Where is she?" Nathan yells and there's a quiet murmur of words from the thing wearing Audrey's face before Nathan's up and racing through the hotel, calling Audrey's name.
I'm on his heels, calling out as well as I follow him through the hotel and to some innocuous door. He yanks it open and turns and sees whatever he's looking for in the near dark of this storage room. I hear Julia right behind us with the others behind her.
"It's in here," Nathan says, his voice now a controlled tenor.
"Get the light!" I yell as I quickly move to join Nathan beside the trunk that he must think has Audrey in it.
Nathan fumbles with the one latch and I hurry to help him with the other just as Julia turns on the light and then we both fling the lid open and I'm stunned to see Audrey curled inside. Nathan is reaching into the trunk for her and I realize I should help.
"She's alive," he says as he starts to pull her forward and I reach behind her back to sit her up. "Come on, get her out, get her out."
I'm holding Audrey's head in my hands, looking down at her as Nathan has her hands in his, patting them to see if she'll wake with the stimulus.
"Parker, Parker," he calls, his voice a little… desperate.
When Audrey doesn't stir I look up and watch Nathan's face begin to get more worried, then he's calling out, "Julia, some help?"
Julia rushes over and starts checking Audrey out as Nathan continues to slap her hands and call her name anxiously. I understand; I'm concerned about Audrey too. She's the only cop I've ever liked, and she's pretty hot too. Beside me Julia eases back and turns away, looking around for something to help.
"Hand me that disinfectant," Julia says, pointing to a bottle against the opposite wall that she's spied.
"Come on, come on," Nathan continues to say softly as Julia struggles with the bottle one of the others has passed to her.
I turn and face her, confused on what the hell she's going to do with a household product. She's a doctor; I'd think she'd have some medical supplies here for God's sake.
"I don't think she needs to be disinfected," I say lowly with probably a bit more sarcasm than necessary as continue to hold Audrey's unmoving head in my hands.
"The ammonia will act as a smelling salt," she says and I watch as she shoves some cloth covered in the liquid under Audrey's nose.
"Audrey, can you hear me?" Julia asks, and I look down at Audrey to see if the stuff is working.
There seems to be the longest delay before finally Julia announces, "Her pulse is getting stronger. She's gonna be okay."
I look up and see Nathan staring at Julia now, taking in the news. There's a look of relief that fills his face and he smiles, his head moving to look down on Audrey, his hands pulling hers up to him, his lips meeting their clasped hands in relief.
I watch it and realize suddenly that he can't feel that… can't feel any of the desperate touches he's been bestowing on Audrey while she was unconscious and wasn't aware of them, so why was he…
"Parker, you're gonna be okay," Nathan says to her, and I watch him as a thousand emotions fill his eyes and face as he speaks to her, his head moving closer to her as his hands still wring hers, "you're gonna be okay."
That's when my mouth drops open ever so slightly as my mind finally registers what's going on… he was scared to death of losing her. Not like me or the rest of us, but really and truly afraid.
And it's because… he's in love with her.
The sudden realization hits me like a 2x4. Of course… I'm an idiot. I knew he cared about her, and I'd been having fun messing with him by flirting with Audrey since he's her work partner and all. That every time he looked at me annoyed at my attention to her was simply because he disliked me. I didn't have a clue his feelings had gone deeper than that.
I'd thought things with him and Jess had been hot and heavy before she left town and that he and Audrey were just working buddies. I hadn't realized that all this time, even when he was with Jess that he'd really fallen for Audrey and was suppressing those emotions, more than likely figuring she didn't feel the same way or that it wasn't 'proper' to have that kind of relationship with his co-worker. Hell, or knowing Nathan that he didn't deserve her or some such noble crap.
Nathan, why the hell didn't you say anything to her, I want to yell at him. Why did you go out with Jess if you were hung up on Audrey? And why did it take her almost dying for me to see it on your face when I should have realized weeks, hell months ago that every time I paid her a compliment in your presence your hackles rose more than they really should have.
I hear Audrey finally come to with a little groan, breaking me from my thoughts and I can hear a relieved breath escape Nathan at that one quiet sound from her. She slowly seems to wake but her head doesn't really move… probably because I'm still keeping her head upright.
"Is that crying?" she asks in a slurred, sleepy manner, her eyes focused solely on Nathan. "Crying will not be tolerated."
At her light joke I laugh slightly and let my head fall towards Julia's in relief. She's gonna be okay.
Which means so is Nathan.
We get her out of the trunk and get her upstairs, Nathan taking most of her weight. Then Julia makes sure Audrey's settled in bed and forces her to stay put, not talk and to rest. I watch as Nathan hovers around her, within arms length of her before Julia nearly orders us all to crash for a while. I have to admit I am all with that… the adrenaline in my system is just about gone. It will be a few more hours till dawn and the ferry will come back.
And when I exit Audrey's room to go to my own Nathan's still in there. I wonder absently if he will even leave it at all before we catch the ferry.
In the morning we get the boat back to the mainland. Nathan's right beside Audrey ever step of the way. I'm not surprised. He loves her and he almost lost her. Who wouldn't want to be close to the woman they loved?
But I notice he's keeping his hands to himself, very unlike how he'd been in the basement when they'd been afraid she was dead. It's almost as if he didn't feel like he could touch her… Or didn't know if he could let go if he did.
I watch as they get off the boat and go one way while I'm taking care of Julia. After I settle her with Vince and Dave I go and see what is going on with them and find them talking about something I can't catch before they both go quiet. I come up behind Nathan, watching Audrey and then see the stretcher with Dr. Carr on it, realizing that it's her body that has turned them both silent. When Audrey looks up at me she does so with a sad look on her face I understand.
"How's Julia?" she asks, and Nathan stiffens a little as he realizes I'm there behind him.
"Not good. I think she's still in shock," I state seriously… it's a horrible thing to lose your mother.
"I think we all are. I can't believe Dr. Carr's gone."
As she says it I see the muscles in Nathan's body tense and then he takes a step back, his tall frame straightening. He looks ready to bolt.
"See you at work," Nathan suddenly says and hurries away from her…
She looks… distressed, and I want to tell her that he just needs some time, that he's been through a hell of a thing. He shot 'her' and thought she was dead… twice in less than an hour. And that every emotion, every action he'd shown when he thought he'd lost her was one that screamed he loved her.
But he hasn't told her, and it isn't my place to say anything. She's gonna need to ask Nathan, or Nathan will finally have to tell her. Losing Audrey would have gutted Nathan, there's no doubt in my mind… and now as I watch the way Audrey is staring after him intently for long heartbeats as he moves away before she turns her head forcefully, focusing on something else I realize that this thing with them, it's not one way like I'd thought.
She's falling for Nathan as well.
Christ… it looks like they're going to have a lot to talk about when they finally admit what's going on between them.
Suddenly she's moving to her car and I pause and think, wondering if I should give her some space before I decide to follow her, remembering the gift I'd brought to the party that she hadn't gotten. At the time I thought it would get me some brownie points, maybe get her to see me as more than a criminal that occasionally did her favors. Get her to finally not be a cop that needed to save the world and have dinner with me. But now it was simply a way of providing her some truth.
"Hey," I say as I catch the door of the car as she opens it to get in. "Happy birthday."
She smiles but it doesn't quite reach her eyes.
"You're kidding me," she says and it doesn't sound like its funny to her.
"Just because you got body snatched doesn't mean you don't get a present on your birthday," I tell her as I lean my hands and lower arms across the car door as I watch her nervously. I probably should have waited… she's been through a hell of a time over the last 24 hours. But I need to get my secret out.
Maybe then when she and Nathan share theirs I won't be in as much trouble since I shared mine first.
She gives a little sound like a partial laugh before she slides the ribbon off the carved wood box and opens it, seeing the silver oval locket with the square blue stone. I watch her face light up in surprise and I feel a spike of happiness that is instantly tempered with reality.
Not only had I kept this from her since day one of her asking about the Colorado Kid murder, I had kept other things I knew as well. And that wasn't even taking into consideration the fact that even though I know I could probably turn on the charm and keep her 'occupied' with me, I'm not going to try to steal her from Nathan… even if she doesn't know how he feels about her. Hell, I don't think she even knows how she feels about him…
"Wow, this is beautiful," she says, her reaction seemingly genuinely touched as she lifts the locket from the velvet lined box. "Thank you."
"Look closer… at the engraving."
She does and seems confused. I'm nervous. I'm seconds away from dropping a bombshell on her, and I don't know how she'll react.
What I do know is that no matter what happens, she'll have Nathan around to lean on. And I'm… okay with that. They both deserve someone that cares about them in their lives.
God, I guess I don't hate Nathan as much as I thought I did.
"L. R.?" she asks, snapping me from my thoughts.
"Lucy Ripley," I explain simply and watch her eyes widen and her body language change in a second, suddenly wary.
"How… where did you get this?"
I close my eyes and steel myself for telling the truth. It's not something I do very often so it doesn't come naturally for me. When I open my eyes I look straight at her, I know what I'm going to say will shock her worse than the necklace.
"Lucy gave it to me," I begin as the look of disbelief, of hurt and confusion on her face and in her eyes cut me to the bone, but I force myself to continue. "The boy, standing next to her in the Colorado Kid photo… that's me."
She stares at me and I can see the betrayal in her face even is she tries to smother it under something else and I feel like I'm two feet tall. I could have told her ages ago, but I hadn't. I should have… but I hadn't.
Her mouth tries to form smile but it just can't and I can see why Nathan hasn't said anything to her about how he feels. She's so guarded… I guess the years alone, the group homes, always on the road with the FBI has done that to her – disconnected her from people. And now that Nathan has become her friend, probably one of very few people she ever considered that, he doesn't want to screw it up and I don't blame him.
But after this event, I don't think that's going to be enough for him anymore.
We stare at each other and the silence becomes uncomfortable. I don't know what more to say so I ease back from the car door.
"Happy birthday," I said finally before walking away, leaving her to ponder the necklace in her hand, knowing that it probably won't be long until she's calling Nathan, who most likely driving home in his beat up blue truck and who will stop on a dime at her call and turn back around to be there for her as she tries to make sense of all of this.
– End chapter 1 –
Next up - Nathan