Disclaimer, and all other information is located in the first chapter!


A week; then a month; then a half a year rolled by since Duo's was released from the hospital, before Heero decided to finally contact Quatre, who promptly screamed at the Japanese teen for ten minutes and hung up on him. He waited to call back the next day and tried again. He wanted to know how Duo was, as the people he asked to watch the American reported that Duo hadn't been back since the first week since he had left.

Finally, he broke down and asked Relena to extend a formal invitation the other pilots to the celebratory ball, not stating the reasons behind it. The former queen had looked at him in a worried manner, but agreed to, none-the-less. Because it was a formal invitation, Quatre had to accept, and Trowa and Wufei weren't going to leave him on his own. All three had an idea of what was coming.

She asked around and found out the other four were living in one of Quatre's houses, moving as they pleased around the Sphere and the colonies. Some was for Quatre's work, but other moves were for pleasure.

Two weeks later and the ball came. Quatre, Trowa and Wufei showed up, stating Duo wasn't feeling well at the time. The only reason they were there was because of the formal invitation and how bad it would look if they didn't show up. They dodged Heero's questions and avoided him as best they could, but some of it wasn't avoidable. Heero caught them as they were getting into the car, and Quatre finally broke his silence.

"Oh yeah? And where were you almost seven months ago when we tried to contact you? When we needed you? You were off protecting what you found to be more important you bastard, and she's not even worth your spit. You weren't there when-murf murfle mff…" He shot back hotly to Heero's questions, Trowa's hand finally covering his mouth before he could say anything too damaging. They didn't want Heero to find out about Duo-if only by the braided 'baka's' request.

Heero recoiled back, shock, confusion and hurt plastered across his features at Quatre's unusually harsh words. The trio left without another word, sliding into the car that was next to them and driving off. A week later, and every week following, Heero tried to contact one of them, receiving short answers in clipped voices, showing just how mad they were. He still hadn't talked to Duo.

A year later, the next ball was held and the pilot's were officially invited again.

Duo hid behind Trowa and Quatre, Wufei shielding him from the rest of the crowd. He silently thanked whoever was listening for being so short due to the streets. He was never more thankful for it.

When Heero finally spotted of the other pilots, his eyes focused only on the short head of his ex-lover. His breath caught when he got a clear view of Duo. His braid was shorter than before, only down to the bottom of his back instead of to the bottom of his thighs. His form was thinner, and paler than before. His smile was less bright, still there, but…something was missing. He was dressed in an absolutely stunning suit, showing off his violet eyes for the whole room. However…there was a shadow that wasn't there the last time he saw him.

Did I do this? By leaving, did I cause Duo this pain? He asked silently, wondering. He kept his eyes on the smallest pilot and when he saw him escape to the gardens outside, unnoticed by the rest of the crowd, he followed.

Duo was leaning against the thick stone railing of the ballroom's veranda. He looked over the gardens, watching the moonlight bounce off the splashing water, the roses illuminated by tastefully dim lights. He had drank a little pop, but even a year after his suicide attempt, his body still tried to eject some of the harsher drinks, such as alcohol in large quantities.

"Duo." A voice breathed behind him, making him almost drop his glass in shock. If anything, he'd thought his ex would be trying to avoid him, not seek him out. Pushing back the tears that had gathered in his eyes at the sound of the voice he still loved even after all this time, he swallowed.

"Heero." Duo's voice reached out in greeting and seemed to caress the Asian. Heero's eyes drifted closed, his mind centered on how much he had longed to hear that voice and how much he had missed it.

"How have you been?" The dark brunette asked in his monotone voice, emotion leaking into his words even as he tried to keep it out. Duo identified longing, sadness, hope, and love before he could stop himself from dissecting what he heard.

"…fine. Yourself?" He answered back, still facing away from the stocky form.

"Missing you."

Duo's form stiffened at those words. As arms encircled him, he shivered. He didn't want this! He had finally started to get over Heero and now he was going to get pulled back under the waves by whatever was pulling at his heart. His breath caught as he felt a kiss against the back of his neck. "Stop." He said weakly, trying to push Heero's arms away from him. Hurt colored his tone, making Heero immediately draw back.

"What happened Duo?" He demanded to know immediately, wondering what could have made that tone enter his fellow pilot's voice.

"You left." The long haired young man whispered finally, breaking away while shock settled into the taller man's form.

Duo darted back into the room, finding Quatre immediately. "I want to go home now." He whispered quietly, knowing the blond would catch the words and feel his emotions.

Quatre immediately broke etiquette and hastily said good-bye in the middle of his discussion. Trowa was with him and Wufei drifted over at his signal. The four left immediately, not stopping to say anything to the Pink Princess-who had been trying to catch one of them all night for some reason.

Duo rode back in silence, the other three watching him warily to see if there were any more signs of another breakdown. For the first month he had got back from the hospital, Duo had taken up cutting in places that couldn't be seen, like his upper thighs. Quatre had caught on quick enough because of his space-heart, and with some help from a sociologist and a psychologist, he was back to normal for the most part.

Everyone had been worried about Duo seeing Heero for the first time tonight, two years after the incident that had scared all of his friends. Duo had insisted that he would be fine, but no one could stop the dread they were feeling in the pit of their stomachs.

Days passed and nothing happened, making most relax and breathe a sigh of relief. Then, Heero appeared at the front door, a determined look on his face and a bag in his hand.

"If you don't mind Quatre…I'd like to stay for a few days." He requested politely. The aquamarine eyed young man frowned and searched through his emotions before finally nodding reluctantly in acceptance.

That night Heero found Duo back outside in the gardens behind their most recent house.

"When I left…what happened Duo? Something happened." Heero said bluntly, yet in a soft voice as he slid onto the bench next to his ex.

"…I OD'd on antidepressants. Quatre found me. Barely in time." The American finally managed to whisper. Heero choked and a shocked breath in the form of a gasp escaped his lips, "I…a lot happened before and during the war Heero. You were what was holding me together to that point. I could handle you leaving. Hell I could handle you being with the Pink Panic on extended periods of time, but…when you said that you weren't coming back…" Duo trailed off, getting lost in the memories.

"Duo…I…I didn't mean to cause you pain. It was just…I was gone so much. I didn't think it was right of me to hold on to you." He whispered, his mind trying to come to terms with Duo's almost death.

"And what Heero? You could have talked to me. Told me about this! We could have worked through it! But you! You just left! You just walked out the door, didn't give any reasons other than, 'it's not working out' and left! Look…I know there were secrets, hell when I was captured by Oz I was raped and didn't tell you-" a muffled sound of shock was heard from next to him, but he wasn't finished. "but you just left." He finished, a sob catching in his throat. Arms surrounded him and his head rested on Heero's shoulder. Vaguely he felt wetness seep into his clothes, but he was so wrapped up in the pain he was feeling to say anything else.

"I'm sorry Duo. I'm so, so sorry." Heero was whispering over and over again. Silence descended and the crickets and buzzing of bugs sounded throughout the garden, being the only noise they could hear for awhile.

Drawing back, Heero turned Duo around. "I still loved you, even when I walked out the door. I still love you, even now." He said, using his finger to lift his ex-boyfriend's head and lock eyes with him.

"I don't think I ever stopped. Even when I was falling asleep from the drugs, healing from being so stupid, these past two years… And the worst part is, I can't even make myself blame you for any of what happened." Duo finally confessed, a tear racing down the side of his face. Heero wiped it off, drawing the long haired young man closer.

A soft brush of lips against lips met in the silence, eyes locked on the other throughout. The two drew back, watching the other before one finally broke the quiet.

"Do you think…do you think we could try again? I resigned from being Relena's bodyguard yesterday. I missed you too much and even she realized it eventually. I haven't been the same since I left you, and she encouraged me to leave to find you again finally. She said something about guilt…I couldn't catch the exact words before the door shut." Heero finally said, his eyes showing everything he couldn't voice.

"I…I don't think we can have the same relationship we once had, but…I'd like to try again." Duo admitted after reading his eyes for a few minutes. A small smile appeared on Heero's lips, making a grin blossom on Duo's.

The two stood, lacing their hands together in a familiar, yet so different way, walking inside to break the news to their friends. It was a new beginning for the both, one they knew would be different than the ending of the last.



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