"Brother, I don't think this is such a good idea," Alphonse said hesitantly, holding his teddy bear tighter as Edward scoffed and looked up at The Shelf. "What if you get hurt? What if you get really, really hurt and the doctor can't fix you and you're hurt forever?"

"Then I get his room," Envy said through a mouthful of Rice Krispies, smirking at his youngest half brother as Alphonse's golden-brown eyes widened and he let out something akin to a squeak. Swallowing, Envy glanced at Edward, who had made it to the second of the seven shelves that led to The Shelf. "I hope you fall, you idiot."

Edward risked a look behind him to scowl at the nine-year-old he refused to believe was even remotely related to him. "Shut up, damn it!" he shot back, sticking his tongue out.

Alphonse gasped, squeezing his bear mercilessly as he whispered, "You said a bad word, brother! Mommy said you're not s'posed to say bad words!"

"Just shut your mouth, brat," Envy deadpanned, shoveling another spoonful of cereal into his mouth. "Your voice is irritating me."

Meanwhile, Edward extended his arm out and waved it around until he could reach the next shelf, grabbing on with all his six-year-old might. For a minute, it seemed as though the determined tyke would actually reach The Shelf, but when he was three shelves away from it he slipped and came crashing down, landing smack dab on top of his little brother with an oomph.

Alphonse wiggled and cried under Edward as Edward rubbed his forehead and groaned. Realizing his position, he apologized profusely and got up off his brother, holding out a hand to help him up before scooping him up in a hug and trying to quiet him before their mother heard. "It's okay, it's okay, stop crying, stop crying..." he repeated, patting Alphonse's back until his sobs were reduced to mere sniffles. He pulled back, looking him in the eyes. "Better?"

"Uh-huh." He nodded, wiping his eyes.

"Good. Whatever you do, don't tell Mommy, okay?"

Envy cackled in the background as Alphonse wiped at his eyes again and muttered, "I won't."

(Of course, when Trisha asked later why Edward had a bump on his head and a scrape on his elbow, Alphonse was quick to sell him out by explaining everything while Envy tiptoed past her and stole a cookie from the jar.)


Author's Note: And so begins a short series of one-shots about kids and their crazy ideas.