A/N: So last night I had an inspiration and came up with this; a fic about American Beauty. Though it wasn't my original intention, the story was strongly influenced by the movie and I thought it would be fatuous to take full credit of it myself. So here I am, posting it. Oh! All the songs in this fic are from Mew, an amazing band which I totally recommend you should listen to (especially the song 156). That's all, enjoy!
Strange But Beautiful
"Shut up you fucking bitch!"
They were always fighting. There were screams, a loud crash and shattering glass. I quickly escaped to my room and closed the door.
He was outside.
I turned on the music, so I wouldn't have to hear anything from downstairs. I brushed my hair. It was dark and long, much like raven's wings or maybe just a black veil draped over my head. The mirror reflected sad eyes of a little girl, hiding behind that veil. The veil had been put on at the very moment of birth, since my family was never a family, but a nest of cruel and uncaring people.
I went to the window and eyed the front yard. He was there, I knew it, even though I couldn't see him. Carefully I let the music carry me, lyrics letting me sway to the beat.
"It's hard to make sense
Feels as if I'm sensing you through a lens
If someone else comes
I'll just sit here listening to the drums"
I had closed my eyes. The notes flew through me like a force of pure emotion, so raw and so deep that it almost hurt. I could've stayed like that for a long time but I knew that was not what he expected.
I opened my eyes. Then I slowly took off my top, revealing the skin beneath it. There was no need for a show, he didn't want that. I didn't want that. Or at least I thought I didn't. My real wants and needs had blurred with his, making me obey him blindly. Still, he didn't force me to do anything. It was all up to me to make my next move.
I took off my bra. When I revealed my breasts, I saw a quick move somewhere in the night. He was there, watching me, I was sure of it now. I swirled a stray of hair around my finger, then let go of it. I traced the line from under my jaw right down to my waistline, feeling the breastbone, the navel and the fabric of my skirt. Then I stopped.
"The world is like you
Here time's the charm
Like a dog it's breathing
They're just as lonely
And we all make mistakes once in a while"
There came no sounds from downstairs. I was left alone with my music and my muse, in the darkest hour of the night.
I pulled down my skirt. It had been covering two skinny legs, shining white in the gloomy moonlight. The only thing that ruined the beauty was a bruise on my left thigh. My face was emotionless but I knew his wasn't. There was a flaw in his masterpiece; a purple spot disgracing all that was sacred to him, making him furious to whomever had caused it. I knew this but didn't care. Or maybe I did.
I took off my underpants. Now there was nothing more left to show, not on the outside, not to strangers at least. I could have put everything back on if I wanted to. I could have closed the curtain, but I didn't. He wasn't a stranger and he appreciated me more than I could ever understand. Therefore I felt no shame in revealing myself every night at the window, though others would find it strange, sick even. I touched my hipbones, feeling them sharp underneath the thin layers of skin. What he found the most fascinating about me were my hipbones.
"As long as we're me and you
we should not lose terrain
Wild and young, we got seasick
on your seven soft sheets"
I searched all over the yard, just to get a glimpse of him. If I could see him, I could be sure that he would be there the following night, too. However, I found nothing.
A tear escaped from my eye. It was because of him that I was crying, because of him that I felt pain. He had always been there for me. When there was no one to comfort me, I could always find him. My sculptor, my artist, my muse of forbidden feelings. But now he was gone.
When I turned to leave the window, I noticed something. He was standing underneath, looking up, holding a video camera in his hand. He didn't smile, just admired me in peace. Immediately I could breathe again. I opened the window, hair flying with the wind, a cold shiver shaking my body a little.
"Come", was the only word he said.
I grabbed my morning gown from the chair and lifted myself over the sill. Then I carefully descended the fire ladder and jumped on the grass.
He took a hold of my hand. His eyes were locked on mine as he walked me further away from the house, on the path that lead to the road. His other hand held the camera which recorded our escape, admiring my form as he admired me. I wasn't scared at all. The night air had become gentle and I didn't feel cold anymore, not with him.
"I know you
And I know it won't take you long
To make me smile
Farah, angelic girl
I'll have you know
It's you and me potentially"
When we had walked a while in silence, he stopped. There was an old car beside the road, appearing to be abandoned. With only one glance I understood what he wanted to do. We got in the car, closed the doors and I watched as he started the engine, all the while his face remained unreadable. The video camera was still recording.
We drove through the night, listening to radio and enjoying the atmosphere. It was not quite like I had imagined it would be, but never the less it was exactly how I wanted it to be. I had had many dreams about him, all fragile and soon forgotten. But this, oh, this was something I would remember. While I tried to decide between dreams and reality, I concluded this was the latter. In my world the truth was only what I yearned it to be.
"Is this real?" I asked, still, wanting to be sure. He looked at me.
"Do you know where we are going?" he spoke, with an ordinary voice. I nodded.
"And do you know who I am? Why I am here?"
I nodded again.
"Then you also know the answer."
He stopped the car in the middle of the road and turned to kiss me. I didn't flinch, I didn't move, I just remained still. He wasn't disappointed; clearly he had seen this to come.
"You are as beautiful as a raven; wrong in all the ways but still the only right for my eyes."
"And you are not a dream, because if you are, then I am one too."
He scrutinised me for a long time. After that fell the silence. For the first time ever he smiled at me, then looked away and the moment passed. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.
"It is sweet outside
Where it seems magical
And if nothing works
We'll do nothing
Save yourself tonight
Asleep in the dark
I hope we're on time"