Title: Poor Life Choices

Summary: "Look. You're my brother, and I love you more than anyone else on this earth, but I do not support the decisions you are making."

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol use and sex, language, AU-ish

Author's Note: Hey everybody, I'm back! After what was pretty much a year-long hiatus, I'm sorry that this is the only thing I'm uploading, it's just been a rough year and I haven't had much inspiration. And no, I have absolutely not plausible explanation for this. It's pretty much AU, with the Goodwin brothers and Professor Fudo being about college age and basically just getting into silly situations. It's going to be a series of drabbles, with no true plot. If you want to get philosophical, you could say that drunk!Rudger and responsible!Rex is really just a metaphor for the whole Dark Signer arc. So, enjoy this silly crack!

"You started texting yourself and saying they were 'divine messages from heaven', then you threw up on the piano."

The first thing Rudger was aware of when he woke up was that he had one hell of a hangover. The second was that Rex was glaring at him like he was willing him to spontaneously combust.

He groaned and rolled over. "What did I do last night to earn that look?"

Rex's glare intensified. "Do you want a list in chronological or alphabetical order?" he retorted.

Rudger reached out to open the drawer in his bedside table and felt around for the bottle of Aspirin he kept in there. "Just tell me the worst of it. We were at Hakase's place, right?"

"Yes, and I'm sure his parents regret ever letting you set foot in their house, much less offering you alcohol."

Rudger sat up, grimaced at the pounding in his head, and dry-swallowed two tablets. "Just tell me what I did that was so bad." Absently, he noted that he was still wearing the same clothes as yesterday.

Rex's glare was so intense that Rudger vaguely wondered why he wasn't dead yet. "After we had been there for about an hour, you started texting yourself and saying they were 'divine messages from heaven', then you threw up on the piano."

Rudger cringed. "Shit. Was it ruined?"

"I don't think so, but his parents were pretty upset about it."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Uh, could you tell Hakase I'm sorry…?"

Rex crossed his arms. "You can tell him yourself. After you've showered and dressed, I'm driving you over there so that you can make a formal apology to him and his parents." With that, he turned and left the room, signifying that there would be no more argument.

Rudger groaned. "I'm gonna need a lot more Aspirin."