A Letter Never Sent

an ItaDei fanfic.

Disclaimer: Naruto and any following characters used belong to Masashi Kishimoto.
I'm not sure whether I like this or not.. But there's a reason I wrote it.

Reviews would be appreciated.


I can't hold this in forever, un.

I needed to tell you – I think I love you.

There. I said it.

Since that night, I haven't stopped thinking about you, un. How you are, if you're happy today or not.
I sit back whenever I see you, watching you flirt with other guys, other girls. Even though you say you still love your ex. And the times you aren't around, you're all I've wanted there. You've barely seemed to notice me anymore... And that hurts, un.

I crave your attention.

If I'm on my own and I shut my eyes, I can remember your hands running their way through my hair, and the way it turned me on even more when you realized I liked it, and made me aware you'd realized. I can sometimes sense what feels like your hot breath on my skin as you kissed my chest, my neck, my cheeks. I remember your hands making circular motions over my stomach.

It all sounds so sick, I know, un. But I can't help how I feel. I know telling you will make you hate me. You've told me time and time again how fucked your head is.

I don't wanna fuck it up anymore.

I'm sorry, un.


~ Sighing, Deidara placed his pen down and lay his head on the desk. After five minutes of complete silence came another sigh. The blond lifted his head up, tear tracks shining down his face, his breath coming in short gasps. Deidara held his letter with both hands in front of his eyes and slowly tore it completely down the middle, then both halves again. With a sob, Deidara screwed the scraps of paper into a ball and tossed it into the trash can beneath his desk.
Once again, pen was put to paper.

The silence was almost deafening, the only sound breaking it being Deidara's heavy breaths. He sat, eyes closed, trying to word how he felt to write it all down. In twenty minutes, only three words had crossed the paper, joined by a tear.

I love you.