Author's Note: I got bored, so I made this.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter.

Naming the Baby

James & Lily

"It needs to be something manly, like…Brutus," James told his wife, Lily, who was due to have her son any day now.

"Brutus? Are you serious? And if you say that you can't be Sirius, I swear to Merlin that I will castrate you," she threatened. James whimpered, his face the definition of terrified, his legs crossed.

"Okay, Brutus is out," he said quickly, scratching at a piece of parchment that Lily just noticed he had. "How about Blade?"

"How about…no," she told him, glaring slightly. "I do not want my son to have the same name as some muggle gangbanger. It needs to be something respectable, something classic. Something like James."

The young couple sat together, thinking. After a while, James moved closer to his wife, brushing her wild fiery curls away from her pale skin. Using his other hand to grasp hers, he smiled.

"How about Harry?"

"Harry…" Lily whispered, testing it out. She grinned and kissed him happily. "It's perfect, love."

"Harry it is then."

Alice & Frank

"C'mon, Alice. Stop being so difficult," Frank whined, attempting to kiss his wife's cheek.

"I'm not being difficult!" she yelled, pushing her husband away. "This is our son's name we're talking about. He'll be called this for the rest of his life! We need to find a good name for him now!"

"Merlin, fine! If it means so much to you," Frank grumbled. Alice's hormones was not just affecting her moods; Frank's emotions were influenced by Alice's. An upset Alice equals a frustrated Frank. Simple math.

"Ooh! How about Giovanni? Such a foreign name," she gushed, her eyes clouding over.

"That would be fine," he said, "if we were actually foreign."

"Do you have a better idea?" Alice snapped, her eyes narrowing.

"Yes, how about Henry?"



"No. It's much too close to Harry," she said, as if it was the simplest thing in the world. "Oh, I know! I was reading the muggle paper the other day—"

"Muggle paper?" Frank asked, his eyebrows rising.

"Don't judge me!"

"Fine," he sighed, raising his hands in surrender.

"As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted," Alice continued, glaring at Frank, "I came across the name 'Neville'. Wouldn't that be the perfect name?"

"Neville? I don't know. For some reason, the image of a rat comes to mind when I think of the name," he said, rubbing his chin, deep in thought.

Remus & Tonks

"But why can't we name his John?" Nymphadora "Tonks" Lupin whined, looking up at her husband with a pout.

"Because," Remus Lupin said simply.

"Because what?" she asked, putting her arms on her waist.

"Because…because….just because!" he snapped. Tonks recoiled slightly, shocked that he would snap at her. "I'm sorry," he sighed.

"It's fine," she murmured, looking everywhere but Remus.

"Dora, I'm sorry," he said again, pulling her into a hug. "I don't want his name to be John because he'll already hate me."

"Hate you? For what?" she asked, looking up at him in shock.

"Tonks, love, I'm a werewolf. We both know it. What if…what if, because I'm his father, he's a werewolf. Making a child, a baby go through that…" he cut off, a sob wracking through his body.

"Remus, is that what you're scared of? He can't be a werewolf. We've already gone through eight full moons and he hasn't phased," she told him, placing his hand on her swelled belly. "He'll be fine."

"We don't know for sure," he growled, his tone full of self hatred.

"Fine then. Let's name him Ted, after my father."

"Thank you."

"But his middle name has to be Remus," Tonks said, grinning cheekily.

"Okay, love. His name will be Ted Remus Lupin."

"Teddy Remus Lupin."

Ron & Hermione


"Too girly."




"Too long."


"Too slaggish."

"Honestly, Ronald! If you are so against every name I choose, why don't you tell me what you've got?" Hermione Weasley snapped, glaring at her husband.

"How about…" the ginger blushed, clearing his throat, "Rose?"


"Yes, Rose."

Hermione thought it over for a few seconds before beaming. "It's perfect."






"Really, Ron, really?

"I don't see you coming up with anything better!" Ron yelled, pulling at his hair in frustration.

"How about Hugo?" Hermione asked, rolling her eyes at her husband's antics.


"That's what I said."

"Yeah, it works. He'll be Hugo Weasley."