Step right up. Step right up everyone.
Whether you're good or bad, happy or sad.
Whether you're an emotional wreck, or dismal speck in this world we call life.
Step right up and prepare to be gratefully entertained!
Feast your eyes on the greatest bundle of text to ever be created!
Built for you by the master!
Built for you by the-
"Just shut up already what is it!"
...What is it?
All the lights turned off and a mere Pichu appeared. "Uh… yeah dawg, what is it?"
…What is IT?
"Dude chill man…"
IT… is Pokemon…Randomness Extreme…
(A/N: Hey people! It's been awhile, hasn't it? I know what you're all thinking and… I've decided for now to continue onto the Unova region cause… the other story I had was kind of lagging, but this story is meant to have as much actions as it does laughs, which is a lot, I promise you. Sorry for the long wait of course and I hope this makes up for it.)
Pokemon: Randomness Extreme
The Unova Chronicles
Chapter 1: New Crew, Same Kind of Day
"So there was I, staring down the great legendary Enteii, who stared me right back. We fought and battled for what seemed like hours and then-"
"You lost right?" Oshawott asked.
"What?" Pikachu asked. "What makes you think I lost?"
"Oh come on," Snivy said with an impatient look. "We all know how powerful legendaries are and there's no way you could've beaten him, even if he was an illusion."
"Well fine," Pikachu said, crossing his arms. "I lost, but it's not like any of you faced Enteii, Zapdos, Mewtwo, Arceus, and Darkrai."
"Wow, how many years does that span then?" Tepig asked.
"At least…" But Pikachu did not want to finish that question. "Shit I am getting old…" Of course, it depends on how you look at it. To one's perspective, he's been journeying with Ash for a couple years now. To another, it's probably been over a whole fucking decade. "Well let's just say I've been journeying a lot in my time."
Pikachu and his Unova buddies were currently at the Desert Resort (I forget if it's an actual resort cause I haven't played the game in awhile so if not make up your own imagination), which thankfully has been restored due to some weird group using it for their evil purposes. New day, same old shit.
Meanwhile, while Ash's Pokemon were inside, Iris' Pokemon were out by the pool enjoying the sun… well at least some of them were.
"Ah… now this is better than flirting with other Pokemon to steal food," Emolga said sporting a pair of shades, letting herself get a tan.
"You said it…" Axew said, sporting a pair of shades himself. "Minus the flirting part." He then looked over at the mass that was Excadrill locked up into his pod form. "Oh come on Excadrill, why won't you come out?"
"…It's too warm…" Excadrill murmured.
"Well why don't you go in the- nevermind," Axew said. He almost forgot Excadrill was not a big fan of water, being a Ground-Type and all.
"You've been in your shell for the longest time," Emolga said. "The least you could do is get a little bit of a tan." But Excadrill said nothing, which was also typical from him.
"So… is Oshawott still trying to go out with you?" Axew asked.
Emolga sighed. "Yes," she replied. "I don't know why he keeps trying. I mean, I know I'm sexy (and I know it) but wouldn't it hurt?"
"Would what hurt?" Axew asked.
"I mean…" Emolga blushed. "Like if we had sex and I… came, wouldn't he get shocked by it?"
"Is that what happens…?" Axew asked. "Wait a minute! I was wondering why I've been hearing sparks go off the past couple of nights! You've been masturbating to him haven't you!"
"W-What!" Emolga exclaimed. "O-Of course not!"
"Sure…" Axew said. "And I know how to use Judgement."
"Alright fine I did… but it wasn't to him…"
"Who then… wait it wasn't Pikachu was it?"
"Er… well there was that one night…" Emolga said.
"Bitch you are so fucking hot right now!" Pikachu said, obviously drunk.
"Asshole I don't even care if you fuck me right now!" Emolga replied, just as drunk.
"And you fucked him?" Axew asked, his eyes widening.
"Oh Pikachu! Fuck me with that hard cock of yours! Fuck I'm cumming!"
"Okay, maybe one time…" Emolga said, blushing red. But she then grabbed Axew with her small paws. "But if you even tell Oshawott what I've been doing and I swear I will zap your balls off!"
"Alright alright!" Axew said, cringing at the thought.
"Actually, now that I think about it," Emolga said, letting him go. "I've noticed Snivy has been acting weird lately. It's like she's always watching what I'm doing. To be honest it's kind of creepy."
"Who knows, maybe she's a lesbian and uses the whole stand-off thing to hide her feelings." Axew suggested.
"Who, her?" Emolga asked. "Please, she's fucked more Pokemon than there are days in a week." She then snickered. "In fact, I remember one time she got so drunk she ended up having sex with Tepig and she was sore as hell the next day from well, you know him being a fire-type. Not to mention his agility is rather high."
"Okay, this is getting too awkward for me now," Axew said getting up. "Well, good luck trying to fuck Oshawott. Luckily you won't have to get him drunk to do that."
Emolga glared at him as he walked away. She then turned away and looked at Excadrill. "Uh, you didn't hear all that, right?" Excadrill said nothing, which Emolga assumed meant he was sleeping and she took a deep breath of relief.
However, Excadrill did hear everything as he smiled beneath his shell. It was always entertaining to hear what his partners were gossiping about.
(A/N: Well, this is only a first start but hopefully you all enjoyed it. I don't know how often I will update it, but I will do my best. Don't worry, the main part of the story will start soon, as this was mostly for introductory purposes. So until then, this is FoxMcCloud7921 signing off!)