Hello everybody! Thank you so much for the reviews for the last chapter! I really hope you enjoy this one! :)
Misaki lay on his mattress, staring far off into space. One of his hands lay under his cheek, and the other was absentmindedly rubbing the small bulge that had formed on his stomach. From when he checked last, the bump hadn't grown, developed, or anything really.
'How could it develop? I barely eat anything... if that's how it even works...'
Misaki remembered when he had first felt this hardness on his stomach, and how repulsive, confused, and scared he was. Well, those feelings were all still there.
'I don't want this...never wanted this... I wish this...thing would go away! If anything, how would I even freaking deliver this child? I don't even want this stupid kid! One of his parents is a fucking asshole...'
Misaki grabbed his head, and curled in as much as his stomach would allow him.
'What the fuck is even going on anymore... he doesn't visit me, doesn't come by, I'm always alone... Not that I necessarily want him to come in here, but he's the only one who could. And then maybe... I can- No, absolutely not. I can't tell him about this! But he's going to notice...'
"UGH!" Misaki slammed his head into his pillow, letting out a growl.
For the millionth's time, the teen cursed Usami's name, for making him be in this situation; both physically and mentally.
Lying like this, walking around in his room, it was driving Misaki crazy. The master had also suspended his "slaves'" rights to gather in the room for their small time of freedom. Misaki had no idea why Akihiko suddenly did that, but judging by the master's erratic behavior, he wasn't too surprised.
The only relief in his situation was that the guards, which came in with the shitty food once in a while, but they barely looked at him. Said nothing more than the occasional "food's here" and left in a hurry.
Usually, they would make snide and lewd comments towards him, but lately, it's just been...that. Nothing.
'Maybe Master said something...Is it even 'master' anymore? We kissed, had sex, and he told me he loves me,' Misaki thought bitterly, 'but some love this is...abandoning me here...and my feelings for him haven't gone away...that asshole.'
The brunet lay still for a moment.
'My life is such a waste now... I just stay here... doing nothing. Soon, I'll go insane from the constant silence...' the teen sighed, as a single tear rolled down his cheek.
He desperately wanted to get out. Wanted to be able to go outside again, enjoy nature, as he always loved to do. He wanted to go back to his family, back to his formal life. Something was holding him back, however. Those amethyst eyes...
They had captivated his mind ever since he last saw the author. He wasn't even sure when that was... time seemed to pass strange in this place.
Did he really want to leave them? He felt connected to this demon that had possessed him, mentally, and now physically.
'Why won't my mind just freaking decide? Do I want him? Do I hate him? Love him? What is it that I want to do?!'
Misaki stared down at the bump under his loose t-shirt. He felt chills run down his spine. This was really freaking happening. He couldn't believe it. All his life, he vowed to not let himself be in this situation, and it had happened.
What would his parents say to him?
'If I was to come to them and tell them that... I'm... whatever, what would they even say? They've never been really accepting. That one time they thought I was dating my best friend and completely freaked out...' Misaki shut his eyes at the painful memory, 'If I was to tell them this...shame...they will just laugh and throw me out of the house.'
Misaki felt fresh tears flow down his face.
'Why the hell wasn't I blessed with good parents?! I was given assholes who freaking gave me away!'
The brunet was shaking violently, feeling heat course through his body.
'What the hell happened to my god-damned life? This is so fucked up...'
It's been a whole month since he saw him... maybe longer. And it made him sick. Sick to the core.
'I'm a selfish piece of shit. I can't do this. I just can't... I- what am I even doing anymore? I used to have it all planned out... all set... and now, it's like I've become lost. My mind just wanders all day...and it's like I don't even exist anymore.'
Akihiko put his shaggy head into his hands, and inhaled deeply. He had been like this for quite some time. Angry, confused, desperate, devastated...
And the reason for his feelings scared him.
'Misaki... all alone in that horrid cell...I can't even face him. Every time I do, I feel like shit, and have to leave. How can I expect him to love me? He's been kept in captivity all this time... I can't...can't do this to him anymore.'
The silver-haired master got up from his chair, stubbing out his most recent smoke. With shaking hands, the man opened his door and exited his chamber. Suddenly, he thought of his last conversation with Miyagi about Nowaki.
'Return him...you made him a whore, Akihiko...' the elder's voice echoed in Akihiko's head, and the man shut his eyes, as he made it through the now-semi-lit hallway.
A week before, his orders were finally heard, and his workers finally installed some lights in the hallways. Akihiko felt extremely relieved about this. On one hand, it was easier for him to walk through the halls now, and on the other, it made him feel...something else. Relief maybe...some sort of lift in his chest.
'Don't you have that Misaki kid now?'
'Go after him!'
Akihiko furrowed his brows, and shook his head, 'If it was that fucking easy...'
Finally, the man made it to Misaki's room. Hesitantly, he knocked on the door. He decided that was much more appropriate than just unlocking it.
There was a knock at the door. Misaki jumped up, as the sudden noise surprised him greatly after weeks of silence.
"W-who is it?" his voice croaked
"Misaki... it's me...Akihiko."
Misaki felt his heart pang in his chest. Out of fear, or love, or excitement... he wasn't sure.
In spite of himself, he said, timidly, "Come in."
The silver-haired master slowly came into the cell, shutting the door quietly behind him.
The two men stared at each other for a few moments. Each had their own kind of pain etched on their face.
"Misaki," the elder breathed out.
He hadn't realized he had been holding his breath in anticipation. Finally seeing the boy in such a long time, made him want to tackle the trembling figure and embrace him, kiss him... but he restrained himself.
Misaki's green eyes widened at Akihiko's timid tone.
"W-what happened, Mas-"
Akihiko quickly approached the younger man, and leaned in front of him, "Remember, I told you not to call me that," Akihiko whispered, putting a slender finger on his "slave's" lips. Misaki froze at the touch, unsure of what was really happening.
'What is he doing? Why'd he suddenl-'
Akihiko slowly brought his lips to Misaki's, kissing him tenderly.
'Akihiko...what are you doing! You came in here to talk to him and now you're just using what you always use to stray from talking...'
The master pushed his thoughts aside, continuing his quest of kissing Misaki. The teen became terrified, as he felt his master's smoky breath rush into his mouth as the man's tongue prodded at his lips. He was not sure how to respond. One part of Misaki screamed for him to push the offender away, returning to his stance of defense in regarding the man.
The other part, however, begged him to just let go. To let this man take him, to become lost in Akihiko, to touch his silky locks, to respond to what he was giving Misaki.
The two sides battled with each other as Misaki sat still, with his whole body shaking.
'This may be the only time that he comes here to talk to me again for a while...'
This thought terrified Misaki. He felt the man's hands grab hold of his arms and squeeze gently. And that was it. He let go. Misaki opened his mouth, to Akihiko's surprise, letting the man's tongue sweep across the roof of it, and slide across his own wet tongue.
There was no going back now. Misaki grabbed Akihiko's strong, defined arms, and continued to kiss him with all the passion he could muster, in his nerve-wrecked state. The master pulled back in surprise.
Misaki stared at him, his eyes dark with strange desire.
"Misaki, what happened? What made you...change your mind?"
Misaki worried his bottom lip, as he stared into confused purple orbs. Akihiko sighed, leaning away from the teen. This wasn't the time. He had to get to the point.
"Misaki... I just... I don't know what to do anymore. I... I am a wreck. I've finally gotten the balls to come here and talk with you," Akihiko muttered, his cheeks gaining the slightest amount of color, "I feel so... so fucking terrible about keeping you trapped in this horrid place..."
Misaki's gaze became confused, then hardened, but he remained silent to hear all of what this man had to offer him.
"Is that all?" Misaki asked, furrowing his brows
"No, more than that... I have realized something. This... place. It's giving me no more shelter...I feel nothing but disgust... with myself, mostly. But... it's like I can't...just let everything go... It feels like if I do, I will lose everything... I won't have anyth- anyone left and it's... that's a horrifying fucking thought, you know?" Akihiko looked into Misaki's green eyes.
Misaki's frown deepened. This strange confession which had escaped Akihiko's mouth... the teen didn't know what to think. It was all so sudden; Misaki was confused about where this was coming from.
"What do you want from me?" Misaki looked into deep purple pools, his voice shaking
"I... I don't really know... I just... missed you so much... and these past few weeks have been hell..."
Akihiko lowered his eyes, "I guess I really can't say that anymore... I can't imagine what you... went through."
'Or anyone of these people I'm keeping...'
The chocolate-haired teen looked at the man in front of him. He was lost. His feelings were tearing him apart. This man was a monster, and yet, there was something human within him.
"Misaki...the way you just kissed me," Akihiko whispered, moving his face closer to Misaki's, "What was that?"
'This guy is sooo bad at dealing with his problems,' Misaki thought, shifting a little farther away from his captor.
"Misaki...why'd you kiss me like that?" Akihiko brought up a hand to grasp the teen's chin gently, bringing the green eyes to look into his
"I...I just...I did it because I..."
Seeing the boy fidget, the slave owner smiled warmly, "My dear Misaki," he finally connected their lips once more.
Misaki tasted the intoxicating, smoky flavor of Akihiko, as the man presumed to lowering him onto the mattress. Misaki felt his back hit the bed, and only then did he regain control over his body, pushing the master back.
"Stop! What the hell are you doing?!"
Misaki was panting, watching Akihiko's eyes grow sad.
"I don't understand what you want with me! You make me feel so freaking confused, angry, hurt, I could just go on! I'm tired of this crap! One moment you're all over me and the next I'm sitting in this fucking dungeon of yours, in all this silence, and I just... I can't freaking do this anymore," Misaki's voice, shrill at first, died down on his last sentence, almost breaking at the sheer intensity of what he was trying to say.
Akihiko looked into the emerald eyes, which had started watering, and felt his heart shatter. The worst part of this was that he knew that the teen was completely, undoubtedly right. He had neglected this boy, who he felt such love for. He had given him mixed signals out of his own fear for constant rejection.
What's even worse, Akihiko suddenly saw in Misaki's eyes the hundreds of people he was keeping here.
'What makes him any different?'
Akihiko's eyes widened at such a random revelation inside his mind.
"You're right," the man sighed, "I haven't treated you how you deserve... I haven't been considerate of you... at all. I am an ass, okay? I love you so much that I just want to keep you confined, so you can never leave me."
At this, Misaki's eyes widened with fear, and the elder noticed.
"Ugh that came out completely creepy," Akihiko ran his hand through his hair.
At this, the corners of the teen's mouth curled up a bit.
"Look... I know that this whole thing is horrendous," Akihiko got up from Misaki, and pulled the teen along with him so that both were sitting and facing each other.
"Th-thanks," Misaki rubbed the back of his unruly hair.
"How about," Akihiko suggested carefully, "we just sit and talk."
This was completely unlike him, but the master thought that this was the best way to handle things right now. Just sit and get to know one another for a change. No forcefulness, no contact, just words.
Misaki's brows furrowed at the strange suggestion. As much as this weirdo aggravated him, a part of him really wanted to just get to know this demon. He wanted to understand this man better, as he had stolen his heart in such a strange manner.
Slowly, the teen nodded, earning a look of relief from the man across from him.
"That's waaay too formal."
"Well what the hell should I call you then?!"
"Hmmm... remember that thing you said...that time?" Akihiko wiggled his eyebrows playfully.
Misaki scowled, "What exactly?"
"You called me Usagi!"
"That's a ridiculous name for-"
"Nickname," Akihiko corrected.
"I am sooo not calling you that," Misaki chuckled, shaking his head.
"But you sooo should," Akihiko pointed out, mimicking Misaki.
The chocolate-haired teen rolled his eyes.
"Fine, Usagi-san," Misaki crossed his arms on his chest.
"Haha, I like that," Akihiko smiled.
In truth, he really clung to that nickname because it established a sort of connection between him and the boy. It also put a mask on his face. A mask of innocence, which he had shed a long time ago.
Misaki barked out a laugh, and then settled into his hard pillow.
"So...Misaki," Akihiko smiled warmly at the boy, "I've never really...done this before."
Misaki looked at him incredulously, "You've never held a simple conversation?"
Akihiko laughed genuinely at that, "No! Of course I've had! It's just that... this kind of...heart-to-heart thing is weird for me."
"W-we don't have to do anything you don't want to," Misaki shrugged, a bit disappointed.
"No, I want to," the silver-haired man said seriously, "I want to get to know you, Misaki."
'Should I trust him? He is being so...wonderful, but I can't help but feel a bit wary about this whole thing... I mean... but then again, how else do you get to know someone?' Misaki thought carefully
"O-okay, but then I get to know about you too... and about everything else," Misaki said quietly.
"Okay," Akihiko breathed out.
Now, he was getting nervous himself. Just what kind of things would the teen want to know?
Misaki fidgeted with his hands, opening his mouth, and then closing it again.
"What is it, Misaki?"
Misaki took a deep breath, "S-so... I j-just have one question that I'm wondering about... been wondering about actually," his breath hitched, "W-what happened with my parents, exactly?"
Akihiko cocked his head, "What do you mean?"
"I-I mean," Misaki looked down at his thumbs, rubbing them erratically against one another, "Why am I here? Why...why'd they give me away?"
Akihiko felt the pain in Misaki's voice.
"Huh... I didn't think you'd ask that... Uh... I... can't really answer that," the elder sighed sadly.
Misaki, being so set on getting a reply, felt his cheeks heating up, "Yes you can! You said you'd answer anything, and here you are-"
"No, no Misaki, you don't understand," Akihiko quickly caught Misaki's wrist, as the teen's fist almost collided with his chest, "I honestly don't know. When they contacted me, I really didn't question them. They said they needed money fast... and that I could provide them with that."
"That's strange... you don't pay for any of your other...people," Misaki mumbled.
"Yea... I know."
"Do you still...you know, pay them?" Misaki's eyes were focused on
"No... your mother called in a short while ago and said that she doesn't want to have any ties to such a shady business anymore...and that was that. I haven't spoken to her since."
Misaki's eyes widened at the mention of his estranged mother, as a single tear spilled down his cheek, "S-she didn't ask for me back?"
Akihiko's mouth formed into a thin line, as he shook his head. Misaki stayed silent for a minute or two.
"You know," the boy's voice shook, as tears rolled down his eyes, "I always told myself that you stole me... hid me away from my parents... And then after you told me about them selling me here, I thought about it. I denied it all... thought you were a bastard, and that you were just trying to lower my hopes of getting rescued. But wow, you weren't lying."
Misaki clutched his hands into tight fists, as his whole body trembled slightly.
"Hey, hey," Akihiko put his cool hand on Misaki's back, "It's..." he paused, "not okay in the slightest," he chuckled bitterly to himself.
The similarity of the teen's situation to his own sent the older man suddenly back in time. His parents in the big room, their crude voices, him being handed over, and never hearing anything from them ever since. His eyebrows furrowed, as his gaze hardened.
Seeing the man's troubled eyes, the teen sniffled, "It's okay. It'll be okay,"wiping away his tears.
"Parents sure do suck, don't they?"
Misaki smiled a bit, looking into the master's sad, lavender eyes.
The two men sighed in unison, feeling strangely relaxed. This set of confessions had eased the tension between them. Akihiko looked into the deep, green pools, feeling so much love for the teen. He knew, however, that he had to go slow here. He could feel his love slowly warming up to him, and that in itself was progress.
"Ugh... I can't even believe that this freaking happened to me..." Misaki smirked bitterly.
Akihiko nodded, regarding Misaki with complete understanding.
"Hey... this might sound like a strange question... but what is your favorite memory with them?" the older man asked suddenly
Misaki looked up at the ceiling, thinking of all the fun memories they shared before Misaki was told his secret.
"Hmm... that is a strange question," Misaki smiled to himself, as he felt warmth rush through his body at all the happy memories that suddenly filled him.
"So... what is it?" Akihiko prodded him
"Uh... probably every winter time I spent with them. We would go out into the snow, and build snowmen... and then my dad would pelt me with snowballs out of a fort that he would build," Misaki smiled widely, looking up at the ceiling in his dark room.
Akihiko listened intently, trying to memorize everything that the brunet was saying.
"Seems like you were close with your parents... at some point," Akihiko said quietly.
"Yea... and then, shit happened, and we kinda... grew apart."
"Hmmm," Akihiko hummed in understanding, not wanting to press the matter much farther.
"Usagi-san...what exactly happened to your parents after, you know, you were freed, so to speak," Misaki asked carefully.
Akihiko sighed deeply, closing his eyes, "I tried to contact them. After Jack handed over this business to me, I tried to get reconnected my bitch mother and my asshole father. But, to no avail."
Opening his eyes, the man saw the questioning look on Misaki's face, the man continued, "Of course, I got a hold of them over the course of a few weeks. They had moved, left their house behind. Uh...my parents are still together, my brother lives with them in some rich estate. I tried to call their home, many times, but whenever I did, they would either be 'out' or 'away' or something like that. I guess they couldn't flat-out tell me that I wasn't their son anymore. That would give them a bad reputation. Eventually, I gave up. And that's partly what fueled my anger, making me do... all of this."
Misaki eyed the author skeptically, "You know... this thing that happened to you, it's terrible. It's disgusting, horrid...however, it didn't really give you the right to inflict so much pain onto others. You could've given up everything, gotten professional help, but instead, you chose to do this," Misaki looked around his room sadly.
Akihiko's gaze hardened. He was being openly challenged by this kid...
"Usagi-san," Misaki said quietly.
The use of the nickname cooled the silver-haired man down a bit.
"I know, I know, okay?" Akihiko's voice was shaky, "I told you before, I know that I'm trash. I've been trash ever since that prick violated me! But, I was so broken, and lost, and... I became a dick. I couldn't feel pity or remorse anymore! Everything in this goddamned life screwed me over, and I wasn't about to just take that with stride," Akihiko told Misaki heatedly.
The brunet let the other vent to him, hearing all the anger, hurt, rage, betrayal in the man's voice.
"Don't you understand? He freaking shaped me! I was just a normal kid, I liked to write, a lot. I liked to go exploring, I liked to spend time with my family, and then all of that was just gone! And I couldn't control any of it! I was like a fucking sex toy, which was just used, then thrown away, then used again, and again, and again!" Akihiko was screaming now, his usually-pale eyes, now a deep purple
'That's where all his goddamned pushiness, and control issues come from,' Misaki lowered his eyes, at the harshness of Akihiko's tone.
Misaki was scared that the man would just loose it completely right in front of him. He wasn't sure what to do, but he felt the hand on his tighten its grip, and shake violently, as Akihiko continued screaming.
"Usagi-san... you see how you feel? That is exactly what everyone in this freaking prison is feeling! You're a smart guy, you know this! The men in here, they had everything ripped from them, just like you did!"
Misaki sent a stern look in Akihiko's direction. The older man wasn't having it. His hard-set brain battled hard to deny everything the brunet was telling him.
"You can't possibly be denying this, can you?" Misaki's tone was one of exasperation
"I'm..." Akihiko's voice gained a new softness, "I can't just... this is...too fucking much right now."
Misaki rolled his eyes, "Look around you! Look at the mess you've created! You need to let these people go," the boy's voice became quieter, "I promise you, when you let go of all of this anger and this establishment, everything will become easier...Hey! Look at me," Misaki's voice gained an unexpected air of authority, as he saw that the elder was averting his eyes, "I promise, it will be easier."
Akihiko's eyes were now watery, and the man frantically wiped at them with his arm, "I can't..."
"Why not?! Is it some sort of complicated process?"
"I can't because... if I do, then... you will also leave me," purple orbs stared seriously, into green ones.
"You can't be that selfish!"
Akihiko stared at their intertwined hands.
'Misaki isn't letting go of my hand. He's really trying with me here,' Akihiko thought, getting extremely frustrated.
"I... I just can't lose you. See how we're sitting right now? This," the man squeezed the youth's hand, "I don't want to lose it."
"That has nothing to do with anything. It's no excuse to keep torturing everyone else. What happens with us," at the word "us" Akihiko's eyes lit up, "it shouldn't determine others' fates."
The elder sighed heavily. The brunet had won.
"I know, I know. You're right...They're suffering, for no reason other than my own selfishness," Akihiko sighed in defeat.
"So what're you gonna do now," Misaki asked curiously.
"I...I don't know," seeing the disappointment in the brunet's eyes, Akihiko quickly amended his response, "I think... I'm going to call Kanou today."
Misaki looked at him, confused.
"That's the man I gave Nowaki away to... I need to get him back."
Misaki looked at the man, shocked,"Okay," he smiled uneasily, squeezing the man's hand.
'At least there's some sort of progress.'
Akihiko smiled at the youth. The two sat in the stillness of the room, each thinking over what had happened here.
"Go," Misaki commanded gently, looking into the master's eyes, giving him a smile.