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Chapter 47

Akihiko paced around his room, nervously puffing on a cigarette. His long fingers held the cancer-stick, shaking.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Akihiko seethed, "I just... I just helped them but still... fucking nothing."

'Don't lie to yourself...'

"Okay okay okay," Akihiko strode over to a grand window, and opened it, letting the fresh night air hit his face, "Maybe I did help. I did a good thing. I should be happy. I grew a pair and actually fucking undid something that I managed to screw up..."

Akihiko's voice was hushed, his words rapidly spilling from his mouth, as the cigarette burned between his fingers. Lavender eyes stared out into the serene darkness of the city, feeling the breeze against his unusually-heated skin.

He drummed his fingers on the window frame, as he stepped out onto the balcony.

"Wow," he breathed out, "The city is so beautiful at night."

'It feels so serene...so innocent.'

A small smile tugged at the man's lips, as he finally felt a bit more content that night. Maybe this was all he needed. Maybe this balcony, this air, this darkness, the beautifully-illuminated city... it could help him get away, help him get better.

'I wish I could just run away... Heh, what a childish thought... But if I could just jump off this balcony, and go somewhere far, far away from all this bullshit... I wish it was that easy.'

Akihiko shook his head, chuckling to himself.

"Fucking shit!" he suddenly hissed, as he felt his fingers burn from the flame of the cigarette, which had managed to burn out while Akihiko's mind was elsewhere.

Dropping the heated butt of the burnt out stick, Akihiko stuck the burnt digit into his mouth, furrowing his brows at the unpleasant sensation.

'Yea... to runaway, good one Akihiko.'

The silver-haired Master kicked his smoke off the balcony, and retreated back inside.

'Fucking hell this stupid shit stings so bad!'

Quickly, Akihiko made it to the bathroom, and opened the top cabinets, searching for a band aid. Finding that he had, once again, run out, the silver-haired man sighed.

'How fucking pathetic...'

Slowly, he went into his bedroom, and fell back onto the large bed, looking up into the darkness of the ceiling.

'When will this all end? I just want to stop everything... rewind my whole life. What will it take to finish whatever the fuck has happened for my whole fucking existence'

Akihiko felt his eyes stinging, as a tear slipped down his cheek.

"T-there's no fucking point,"he grit through his teeth quietly, his voice shaky, "Anything that I do now is so useless... nothing will ever be resolved, nothing will be okay..."

'It will never be the same again...'

Akihiko closed his eyes, using his arm to wipe at the drops falling down his cheeks.

'Tears won't do anything, Akihiko! You are weak! You made this all happen and you can't change anything anymore! Just accept it!'

The man turned over on his side, and his vision focused on the keys to his car, which he had tossed onto the night table when he came home.

'I wonder how Hiroki and Nowaki are doing right now... probably happy...happy to be with each other after all this time...'

Akihiko smiled to himself. He wished he had that kind of bond with someone. Sure, he and Misaki had been growing closer, but it wasn't what the couple had. They really had something special.

'And I managed to fuck that up too...'

The man's brows furrowed, and he felt a buzz go through his arms.

"No, no, no fuck this. I'm not giving in to you again. Not again," Akihiko shut his eyes, getting up and grabbing the car keys, stuffing them into his jean pocket.

Walking briskly, he left his room, locking the door. Making it down the hallways, he stepped down into the cellars. His eyes searched for Misaki's room, finally finding it towards the end of the corridor.

Slowly, he knocked on the door.

"Come in," a meek voice sounded through the barrier.

Akihiko turned the knob, walking in braver this time.

"Hey.."

"Hi...Usagi-san," Misaki's green eyes were staring down at his folded hands, as he sat on his bed.

At the sound of the nickname, Akihiko's eyes immediately lit up. He walked to the teen, and sat down on the edge of his bed.

"How've you been?"

"Alright, I guess."

The older man smiled at that, and moved a bit closer to the other, crossing his legs on the mattress.

"Hey... I think I have some news that could cheer you up," Akihiko said hopefully, but added suddenly, "Or not, actually. It's just a simple thing, really, but I did it... I'm not exactly sure that it's such a courageous thing to do, but it took so much, you know? It's like-"

"Jeez, what is it?"

Akihiko opened his eyes, to look at the face of a smiling Misaki.

"You're killing me here! What did you do?"

At the easy tone of the younger's voice, Akihiko instantly relaxed.

"Uh, well I went over to Kanou's place..."

Seeing the confusion on the teen's face, the man clarified, "That's the guy I gave Nowaki to."

Misaki's eyes widened, "You did? What happened? Did you actually get him back? Oh my god, this is... this is unbelievable!"

"Unbelievable, huh..." Akihiko smiled sadly.

"No, no I mean it's great! Wait... did you actually do it? Is Nowaki here?"

"Yea... I brought him back earlier today..." Akihiko lowered his eyes, "He looks terrible. Kanou really did have his way with him."

Misaki frowned, his smile falling off his face.

"Uh, look I know I messed up. But I had to do it. You were right. He needed to be back here, with Kamijou."

"Hey, I'm glad you did this... You did a good- no, a wonderful thing by getting Nowaki-san out of the hands of that asshole!"

Misaki put his hand on Akihiko's shoulder, as the older man sighed.

"You can't even imagine how difficult it was... I... It's so hard to even think about that dick's face, and how he talked to me... like I was nothing..."

"The tables have turned, haven't they," Misaki said quietly.

"They certainly have," Akihiko murmured, as his lavender eyes looked into emerald green pools.

"Now, the question is, how are you Usagi-san?"

"Uh, honestly?"

Misaki nodded.

"As shitty as ever... I'm really glad that I got Nowaki out, and that now he can get his health back and I will certainly help him with that... But other than that? I feel so numb..."

"It's going to be okay... things will get better, okay? This was just the first step, and if you do more of the good things you're capable of, life will be so much brighter, I promise you."

Akihiko pursed his lips, not used to hearing such words from anyone but the teen in front of him.

"You know Misaki, I've talked to you more than I've ever talked to anyone about this shit ever... thank you."

"I'm glad that I can help you," Misaki's hand fell off of Akihiko's shoulder, touching his cool hand.

"You do so much more... When I'm with you, I get so much calmer and I feel like there's still some beauty left in the fucked up world I've created," Akihiko admitted, smiling sadly.

"Usagi-san...I'm proud of you. I really am. You are trying, and I can see that. I'm sorry things with Kanou went badly, but that's over now. And I know whatever went down was painful and humiliating, as you said... But you're here now, and we are talking... and that's a good thing, believe me," Misaki was smiling warmly, his thumb stroking Akihiko's smooth skin gently.

"What did I do to deserve knowing you, Misaki?" Akihiko wondered softly.

The brunet shrugged, still smiling at the man in front of him, "I don't know. I guess this was just meant to be."

Akihiko took the hand that was comforting him into his own, and squeezed it, "I guess it was."

A moment of silence passed between them, as Akihiko started to feel a bit on edge.

"Listen, Misaki, thank you so, so much for talking to me. You have been so wonderful... Thank you, but I must go now..."

Misaki tilted his head to the side in confusion, "What do you mean? Where?"

"Uh, it's very important. But I am okay now. I promise. There's just one more thing that I must do to fix everything."

"Usagi-san, you sound very...anxious. Is everything alright? Are you sure you don't want to talk some more? It might help..." Misaki asked cautiously.

"No, I'm fine, honestly. I'm good. I'm finally going to be free."

And with that, Akihiko stood up, and placed a quick kiss on Misaki's cheek, smiled at him, and said, "The door is open. You are free to go when you like."

And just like that, he left the room.


Misaki sat there bewildered. The last few things Akihiko had said to him had been rushed, barely decipherable, not making any sense. One moment they were having a calm conversation...

'And the next he just got this look in his eyes... a wild, insane one!? It scared me... What the hell did he mean he's going to be 'free'?'

Misaki rubbed his hands together, feeling anxiety creep into his mind.

'Crap... what the hell is he going to do? He practically fell off the bed as he ran out... Was it something I said? Did he just get a crazy idea? I mean, he was always impulsive, irrational...'

Misaki turned, and jumped off the bed, standing in the middle of his room.

"What the hell do I do..."he said under his breath, walking slowly towards the door.

'Is it really opened? I didn't hear-'

Misaki reached forward, and turned the door handle. His breath caught up in his chest, as his whole body shook. Slowly, the teen gave it a nudge.

"Shit!"

He jumped back as the door actually pushed open.

"Holy fucking shit," Misaki breathed out, running a hand through his messy hair, "it's open."

'It's open. It's open. It's open, It's open.'

Green orbs grew wide.

"I'm free to go."