Fushigi Yuugi belongs to Yuu Watase-sama. I do NOT deny that.
This is insane! I wonder why I'm posting this up!THE CAMPING TRIP
It was a wonderful day. The sun was shining merrily from behind the boughs of the sakura tree. The summer-sweet wind blew softly, trysting with its boughs. The birds were chirping harmoniously, their veritable composition echoing throughout the place. The Suzaku shichiseishi were sitting leisurely under the said tree enjoying the relative silence as Tasuki and Tamahome engaged themselves in their usual morning brawl, Chichiri debated with Mitsukake on what color went better with pink, blue or green, Chiriko read a 50,000 page textbook on Canon Law which his Yui-sensei lent him while petting a napping Tama-neko, Nuriko gazed lovingly albeit droolingly (Is there such a word?) at the Emperor of Konan as the Emperor also gazed lovingly albeit droolingly at his own reflection. Yes, it was a perfectly normal day indeed until…
"What the?" Tamahome stopped in mid-punch and regarded the intruders with vengeful eyes.
Tasuki heaved a sigh of relief and firmly vowed to kiss those blessed people who saved him from his doom and fainted upon learning whom he intended to kiss.
Chichiri stopped amidst a very decided, "BLUE, no da," and gasped open-mouthed.
Mitsukake frowned, either from shock upon finding who the intruders were or from dismay upon losing his debate to Chichiri.
Nuriko clenched his fists and stood up, knocking the Emperor's mirror to the ground.
Hotohori seethed as he stood up, though it isn't certain whether it was out of annoyance for the intruders or for Nuriko who had just broken his royal mirror.
There was a very tense silence, which was broken by a very annoyed, "OH SHIT!!!"
The Suzaku shichiseishi as well as the intruders turned to find a very flustered Chiriko.
"I lost my page! Yui-sensei's gonna kill me for this!"
Both parties sweatdropped.
(Author rolls her eyes.)
Someone loudly clearing his/her throat broke the silence yet again. The Suzaku shichiseishi snapped out of it.
"Now where were we?" Tamahome said, cracking his knuckles. "So…"
"Oh damn it! I forgot my fucking line!"
Massive sweatdrops and facefaults.
Random people rush in to show him the script.
"Oh yeah. Now I remember," he exclaimed then said seriously. "So we meet again, Seiryuu shichiseishi."
"Well, well, well. If it isn't the Suzaku Star Warriors…" Nakago remarked with a smirk.
"What are YOU doing here, Nakago? As Emperor of Konan, I forbid you from entering into MY territory without permission," Hotohori seethed. (He wasn't still over his broken mirror… -.-;)
"Yui-sama sent for us. What are YOU doing here?"
"TAMAHOME!!!" an annoyingly familiar, ear splitting, nerve wrenching, unbelievably loud, intolerably perky, unpleasantly screeching… Oh, all right already! You get the point… voice sounded.
The mentioned seishi's ears perked up as he heard his beloved. "MIAKA!!!"
The two lovers ran dramatically into each other's arms before engaging themselves in another brain-rattling, earth-shaking, show-stopping…
(Author: Excuse me a moment… (runs to sink and pukes) Ahemm… as I was saying…)
All those present sweatdropped and Yui Hongou rolled her eyes while sipping her coffee nonchalantly.
"Honestly! Don't those two ever tire of each other?"
It was Suboshi's turn to perk his ears up and exclaim, "YUI-SAMA!!!" while running towards her in an attempt to hug her. However, the very much agile Seiryuu no Miko neatly sidestepped his attempt and he crashed not-too-gently into the tree.
Massive sweatdrop yet again.
"Daijoubu ka, Otouto?" Amiboshi asked, cradling his dazed twin.
"Mou, Yui-sama. I didn't know you missed me this much," mumbled the stunned Seiryuu seishi
"Baka," Yui commented coldly.
Seeing as the two priestesses showed no sign of telling their rather perplexed seishi as to why they were summoned and what they were thinking when they summoned them together, Hotohori cleared his throat importantly and approached the Priestess of Seiryuu seeing that their miko was rather… ahemm… preoccupied at the moment.
"Anou, Yui-san. Why have we been summoned here today?"
Yui took another sip from her cup of coffee before replying solemnly. "If you must know, Hotohori-san. Miaka and I have planned a camping trip for the weekends."
Hotohori flinched slightly at the honorific but daring not to comment, he voiced out his doubts, "Nani?"
All those assembled, except those two making out in a corner, listened in.
Yui sighed. "I know, I know. You'd rather go to hell than spend five days with each other…"
"Like hell we do," mumbled everyone's favorite hotheaded bandit, recovering from the mere thought of kissing Ashitare. "Just who fucking thought about this piece of shit anyway?"
Yui glared at him before continuing, "But we think that it would be quite an enriching experience for all of us."
Silence, except for soft moans and groans from those two making out in a corner.
"If it is what you wish, Yui-sama," Nakago mumbled begrudgingly.
Yui turned to face the other group who hung their heads in defeat.
"Alright. That'll be all for now. We'll be leaving on Friday. Hotohori-san, could you offer them some rooms to stay in and accommodations for the next two days?"
Hotohori fumed. He didn't exactly enjoy the thought of sleeping under the same roof as their enemies, no matter how wide the said roof was. He also didn't like being ordered around nor being referred to as "Hotohori-san," unmindful of his title by people. He disliked it the most when the said person turned out to be the Seiryuu no Miko. Now if she only weren't Miaka's best friend… This wasn't his lucky day. And there still was the broken mirror…
* * *
"I'm bored!" a very annoyed Suzaku priestess exclaimed, reclining against her lover.
"I'm bored!" complained everyone's favorite redheaded fang boy.
"I'm bored!" yawned a very sleepy Nuriko.
"Meow! Meow!" Tama-neko meowed.
Yui suppressed a sarcastic comment and, withdrawing her attention from a classic paperback novel she was reading and plastering an infatuated albeit drooling seishi undecoratively against the wall (you all should know who HE is), she replied with a sigh, "So? What do you want to do, Miaka?"
Miaka withdrew from the arms of her boyfriend and assumed a thoughtful look, which later began transfiguring into a wee evil smile.
Yui frowned as she realized what her friend had in mind. "No, you don't mean…"
"Yes, I do. We're gonna play TRUTH or DARE!!!" she announced triumphantly.
Yui paled. She hadn't gotten over her last dare the last time they played the game. All those assembled, aside from Suboshi who thoroughly enjoyed his last dare albeit at his miko's expense, mimicked her expression as similar memories filled their minds.
"Oh no!!!" they cried simultaneously.
"Oh yes!!!" Miaka countered.
"Says who?" they demanded.
"Says me and Ryuuen-sama…"
"I didn't say anything!" Nuriko exclaimed as the others fixed him with murderous looks.
"No, the other Ryuuen-sama…"
Massive clueless looks.
"Oh, that would be Author-sama, ne, Miaka-chan?" Chiriko exclaimed.
The others looked at him and paled even more. They all knew what that meant.
"Oh alright, Miaka. I agree to play your game as long as I get to choose first," came the irresolute reply of her best friend.
"Nani? Oh all right, Yui-chan," Miaka beamed.
Yui raked a pale hand through her short blond tresses and sighed. Better get this over with! "Okay, Suboshi. Truth or dare?"
The infatuated youth broke from his obsessive stupor and regarded his miko in bewilderment. "Nani, Yui-sama?"
Yui nodded and repeated the question.
Suboshi's eyes lit up and his pulse began racing. SHE chose HIM! SHE chose HIM FIRST! Did that mean…
"DARE!!!" he yelled loudly, tingling with anticipation.
"Damn it, Yoyo Boy! We know you're fucking excited but do you have to be so fucking loud about it?" Tasuki retorted, plunging his little finger into his ear and inspecting his thoroughly broken eardrum.
"Yeah, no da. Your voice was loud enough to wake the dead (i.e. Ashitare and Miboshi), no da," Chichiri seconded doing the same.
Ignoring the crude remarks, Yui assumed a somber expression. "Alright, Suboshi," she paused for the effect of it all, seeing as all those assembled were all ears and quite interested in what she had in mind. Was the ice girl finally giving in? they thought. "I dare you NOT to choose dare the next time someone chooses you."
The entire populace toppled bodily to the floor, each wishing that it was to them that that particular dare was made.
"That's it?" Nuriko demanded in exasperation.
Suboshi made a face, quite disappointed that she hadn't asked for much more, but muttered a weak, "Hai, Yui-sama." He'd just have to depend on the others to… and then it struck him. He paled.
Yui, noticing the sudden shift in his color, surmised that the significance of her dare had finally sank in and hid a smirk behind her open book.
"Nice move, Yui-san," the emperor applauded. This girl sure had brains.
"Oh, so that was why Yui-sensei chose to initiate the game and prematurely selected Suboshi-san," Chiriko mused.
"That's just the fucking reason why I hate fucking females," the red-headed Suzaku seishi muttered under his breath.
"Oh, so does that mean you're gay, no da?" Chichiri asked curiously. Too curiously.
(Author: I wonder why… ¬.¬;)
Tasuki flushed as red as his hair.
Meanwhile, Amiboshi was comforting his stunned twin, wondering whether to admire to get mad at his miko. "There, there, now, Otouto. I know Yui-sama is just testing you."
Nakago smirked. He was such a good influence on his miko. NOT!
Miaka, for her part, in an attempt to get the game going said, "Sumimasen, minna. Who's next?"
Suboshi raised his hand meekly. "I am. Tasuki, truth or dare?"
The mountain bandit, attempting to avoid any further interrogation as to his gender, proclaimed boldly, "Dare!"
"Alright," Suboshi muttered. "Approach who you think is the sexiest guy in the room and make out with him in the bathroom for fifteen minutes."
Tasuki paled and flushed in record time.
Yui, who was reading at the moment, decided that she had a lot of time to finish her reading later and that this was too juicy to miss. That and the fact that she was obliged to cover her protégé's ears before things got unpleasant.
"So…*snicker*… who's the…*snort* … lucky… *guffaw*… guy?" Tamahome teased.
"Shut up, obake-chan!" Tasuki retorted, flushing even redder than his hair as he stood up and made his way towards…
"Da…" Chichiri exclaimed as an enraged Suzaku seishi pulled him not so gently into the adjacent room.
"So…" Miaka began.
"Race you to the bathroom!" Nuriko announced.
And chaos ensued.
Fifteen minutes later…
"Alright," Tasuki muttered with an evil glint in his eye as he sat down. "It's payback time!"
"Anou, Tasuki-san. Where is your shirt?" Chiriko piped up.
Yui groaned and Tasuki sweatdropped. This kid was either too innocent or too observant.
"Tasuki-san, here's your shirt, no da," an equally flustered monk as he pulled the offending article from where it was tucked in his pants.
The others exchanged knowing looks.
"Ahemm…" Tasuki loudly cleared his throat. "Amiboshi, truth or dare?"
"Nani?" the gentler twin asked before hesitantly croaking out, "Dare."
"Okay…" Tasuki began, eyeing Suboshi evilly. "I dare you to kiss Yui-san for fifteen minutes in FRONT of Suboshi!"
"Nani?" came the almost immediate response from the three.
Tasuki smirked. He was too good.
Yui was the first to regain her composure and, putting her book aside and instructing Mitsukake sternly to keep both Chiriko's eyes and ears covered, deftly stood up and walked towards the flushed twin. At least it were Amiboshi, she consoled herself. Amiboshi did the same, flushing even more profusely as he inched closer to her. Suboshi dove between Hotohori and Nuriko, shielding his eyes in the process. The emperor moved away haughtily as Tamahome and Nuriko, enjoying this as much as Tasuki, wrenched him forcefully from his place of refuge.
"No, no, I WON'T look!!!" he shouted hysterically and tried shut his eyes to no avail for Miboshi had cursed him with immobility upon Nakago's orders.
"That little twerp is good for something, after all," Tamahome commented.
Fifteen minutes later…
"Mmph… Amiboshi… gotta stop…" a completely flushed priestess moaned.
"Mmph… Yui-sama… don't wanna stop…" Amiboshi moaned in reply, too caught up in the moment to notice his brooding twin.
"Aniki, Yui-sama… how could you?" the forlorn teen wept and much more so when he was released.
The mentioned two drew back with much visible effort and muttered an embarrassed "gomen ne" to each other. Looking warily at her charge, Yui heaved a sigh of relief when she saw that Mitsukake did keep his word and it seemed that her "student" was totally oblivious to her ordeal. She then reassumed her previous position, trying to yank her disoriented clothing into place as discreetly as possible. Amiboshi, on the other hand, after trying to gather what was left of his dignity and assume some semblance of decency was faced with the strenuous task of appeasing his younger brother who kept wailing and screeching like a baby.
"My, my, Amiboshi. Didn't know you had it in you," Nuriko mock praised.
Amiboshi blushed even more and his twin wailed just a little bit louder.
"So, Yui-chan. How was it?" Miaka teased.
"You should know," her best friend insinuated.
"Nani? What was that supposed to mean?" Tamahome demanded, eyeing the Seiryuu flute player dangerously.
"Nothing," Miaka answered abruptly.
"Oh, really?" Yui quirked a brow.
"YUI-CHAN!!!" It was during times like this that Miaka wondered whether Yui was her best friend or worst enemy. Probably both.
"Alright, minna-san. Settle down. It's Amiboshi's turn," she announced.
"Oh? Right… Hotohori-sama, truth or dare?"
The emperor drew his attention from his brand-new mirror and quirked an elegant brow. "Dare," he answered airily.
"Okay. Hotohori-sama, I dare you to let Miboshi and Ashitare play with your hair for a whole minute."
"Nani?" exclaimed the emperor indignantly before paling, horror evident on his visage. Me, the most beautiful man on earth be touched by those… urgh… things…Such an outrage! He looked at the Seiryuu seishi as if to say, "Am I really supposed to do this?"
Amiboshi nodded solemnly.
Nakago hid a smile.
Soi grinned evilly.
Tomo cackled annoyingly and, for the first time, was NOT zapped by lightning.
The two freaks looked at each other suggestively.
Suboshi was too depressed to notice but would have gloated if he did.
Their miko fought back a rather undignified snort.
This was something they didn't want to miss.
Nuriko, on the other hand, looked sympathetically at his emperor.
Chiriko trembled at the mere thought of being touched by Miboshi.
Miaka watched on horrified.
Tamahome stifled a smirk.
"Whose side are you on?" Hotohori demanded, frowning at his fellow Suzaku seishi.
"Otouto, I'm sorry," Amiboshi pleaded, once again oblivious to the ordeal he caused.
"Aniki, how could you?" Suboshi cried dejectedly, oblivious to the ordeal as well.
Sighing, Hotohori unbound his silky mane and bowed submissively as the two freaks began their work.
A minute later…
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! The entire room burst into laughter at the sight of the disheveled royalty. (I'm not good at describing things so go figure for yourselves.) Yes, even the twins who finally (kissed? and) made up.
"I'll get you for this!!!" Hotohori cursed no one in particular and hurriedly grabbed his royal brush and brand-new mirror to undo the damage.
A few minutes later…
"Anou… gomen, Hotohori-sama…" Miaka managed to say amidst fits of giggles. "It's your turn…"
"Alright, I choose Tamahome."
(Author: .:heaves a sigh of relief:.)
"Me?" the surprised seishi asked.
"Alright, your Highness. Dare."
Yui eyed the two warily and chose to cover Chiriko's ears yet again to be safe.
"Yui-sensei, why are you covering my ears," the youngest Suzaku seishi wondered.
"I'll tell you when you're older," his mentor told him.
"Oh alright," he replied, submerging himself in his text.
Hotohori couldn't help but smirk. "I was hoping you'd say THAT… Alright, for your dare. I dare you to make out with Nakago in the bathroom for twenty minutes."
Soi paled even more than Tamahome.
Miaka paled even more than Soi.
Tomo commented on how it was supposed to be him instead of Tamahome.
Tomo paled even more than the three combined moments before multiple bolts of lightning hit him.
Nakago smirked and proceeded towards the bathroom.
Tamahome gulped and followed suit.
Another scramble for the bathroom keyhole.
Twenty minutes later…
Nakago emerged first, none the worse for wear and seated himself calmly beside Soi who quickly flung herself at him. Tamahome followed, looking quite decent himself, though horribly shaken.
"Miaka…" his lips quivered and the ever-valiant Suzaku seishi crumbled into his miko's arms.
"Alright, it's my turn," Tamahome announced, wiping away remnants of tears. "Chiriko, truth or dare?"
The child genius assumed a thoughtful look and muttered to himself, "Of I choose dare, I would have to subject myself to unnecessary interrogation regardless of the humiliation. However, if I choose dare, I'd be subjecting myself to the most horrid form of torture. However…"
Everyone turned to Yui who immediately sweatdropped and said sweetly to her protégé," Chiriko-chan, why don't you just pick one?"
"Nani? Oh… I guess I'd choose truth then."
"Oh? Okay, Chiriko… Tell us, who do you like more… Miaka or Yui?"
"Damn it! What kind of fucking question is that? Isn't it obvious that the kid is obsessed with Yui?" commented everyone's favorite bandit.
Chiriko sweatdropped. "Umm… Tasuki-san's presumption is right. Yui-sensei has been the best mentor I have ever had. Gomen nasai Miaka-sama."
Yui beamed and patted his head fondly.
"Don't worry, Miaka. You're still the best for me," Tamahome consoled.
"Hai. Chiriko, it's you're turn now…"
"Nani? Oh, then I pick Yui-sensei."
"Alright, truth," the miko replied.
"Yui-sensei, what is the cosine of pi multiplied by the tangent of an angle of a right triangle whose opposite side measures 4 units and whose adjacent side measure 2 units expressed in scientific notation with three significant numbers?"
Massive clueless looks.
(Author: .:reaches for scientific calculator:.)
"That would be 3.49 times ten squared negative."
(Author: .:blinks:. She's right!)
Chiriko nodded, satisfied.
"Anou…" Yui began, trying to break the monotony. "It's my turn again, ne? Alright, Soi."
"Hai, Yui-sama," the ONLY female seishi replied, still refusing to let go of Nakago.
"Truth or dare?"
"Dare," she answered dreamily as visions of spending an hour with Nakago in the bathroom swam across her mind.
"Okay," Yui grinned evilly in a manner that would have put Nakago to shame. "Make out with Tomo for five minutes straight in front of everybody." Then she added on second thought, "Mitsukake-san, would you kindly take Chiriko outside for a moment?"
Mitsukake did as told.
Tomo and Soi stood up simultaneously and fixed their miko with looks of disbelief. "You want ME to kiss HIM/HER?"
Yui nodded, the evil grin still in place.
Tomo's jaw dropped.
Soi nearly fainted.
"Oh alright. Let's better get this over with!" the enraged Seiryuu seishi muttered and with that grabbed a struggling Tomo into her arms and kissed him forcefully.
All those assembled: o.O;
Five… no make than ten… no, FIFTEEN whole minutes later…
"Tomo," Soi intoned breathlessly as she ended her kiss. "I didn't know you were such a great kisser…"
"You're not bad yourself, Miss Soi…" he commented equally breathless. "For a girl…"
A minute later…
"Alright, it's my turn now. Yui-sama, truth or dare?"
Yui was about to answer "Truth" when Miaka caught her eye. "Oh alright, dare."
"Okay, I dare you to…Nani?"
Miaka crawled up next to Soi and whispered something in her ear which made the two girls laugh.
Yui frowned. What were they getting at?
"Alright, Yui-sama," Soi began. "I dare you to change into and wear Tomo's clothing for the whole night."
"Nani?" the unfortunate miko exclaimed. "What do you want me to do THAT for?"
"Nothing," Miaka answered sweetly. "Just get in there and change into these."
Yui sighed and left for the bathroom.
"You know I have always wanted to see her in a male outfit in as much as she has short hair…" Nuriko mused.
All those assembled: o.O
Nuriko sweatdropped. "What?"
A few minutes later, the door from the adjacent room opened to reveal…
"Oh my god!"
Yui stepped out clad in her seishi's garb and raked her hand through her hair, more out of habit than for effect but…
"Is… that… Yui-san?" Nuriko asked shakily, forgetting that it was impolite to point.
"Hai," Miaka replied trying to control her laughter.
"Really?" Tomo joined in.
"Hai," this was too much that the Suzaku no Miko finally gave up and burst into gales of laughter at the faces of the two.
"KAWAII BISHOUNEN!!!" the two homosexuals exploded. Well, technically they're gay but the current condition makes them bi. Then again, weren't they attracted to Yui because she looked like a guy? Then again again, isn't Yui a girl? (Note: Yui probably would look more like Haruka Tenno of Sailor Moon when she cross-dresses so…)
Yui quirked a brow.
The two drooled.
Hotohori looked away in disgust.
Soi muttered something about a bisexual painted freak.
Chiriko, who had returned to the room in time, blinked innocently.
Amiboshi's jaw dropped.
Suboshi fainted both from shock and from the realization that his Yui-sama looked even more bishounen than him.
The rest facefaulted.
"Well, she is kinda bishounen, no da," Chichiri admitted hastily.
"Nani?" the others demanded.
"Nothing, no da," the blue-haired monk replied and sweatdropped.
Yui fumed. "Alright, minna-san. You've had your fun. I believe it's…"
A timid knock sounded.
"Come in," Hotohori said authoritatively.
A servant maid came forth, bowed to her emperor and reported that dinner was served.
"FOOD!!! Where? Where?" Miaka yelled and before the emperor could reply, the said miko had already made a beeline for the dining area with Tamahome hot on her trail.
The rest sweatdropped.
"Oh well, I guess we'd better get going if we want our share spared," Yui said with a sigh, trying to ignore the curious stares everyone including the servant maid had been giving her. This was too much. Now I know how Hotohori feels. "Come on."
"Hai, Yui-sama…" not one, not two, but three dazed voice answered.
Soi muttered "Baka!" as she zapped Tomo on her way out with Nakago.
Hotohori gave her a sympathetic look this time that seemed to say, "I get that all the time."
Chiriko blinked innocently again.
Mitsukake frowned and led the bewildered kid into the dining room.
Tasuki pulled a still-drooling Chichiri away.
Amiboshi facefaulted and walked off.
The two freaks were their freaky little selves going on with their freaky little ways with that freakish attitude of theirs.
Yui sighed yet again as she stood up and proceeded after Amiboshi, followed closely by Nuriko and Suboshi since Tomo had still yet to recover from (literal, electrical) shock. Edging closely albeit unintentionally towards Amiboshi, she whispered discreetly, "Aren't Nuriko-san and Tomo supposed to be gay?"
"Well, Yui-sama," he began also in a whisper. "Technically, they're gay but the current condition makes them bi. Then again, if they were attracted to you because you looked like a guy, doesn't that make them still gay? Then again again, since you are a girl, then I guess they're bi after all."
"Good induction," the stunned miko commented.
By this time, Suboshi had noticed how close his twin was to his Yui-sama and, brandishing his Ryuusei, sped off after his Aniki.
Yui shook her head. "Don't those two ever grow up?"
"I don't think they are going to for the next couple of years," Hotohori commented airily.
"Yeah, especially Yoyo boy with that huge crush on you…" Nuriko joined in.
"Look who's talking!" Hotohori retorted.
Nuriko flushed. "Hey I can't help it. Yui-san is far more bishounen than some guys out there."
Yui flushed at the comment and looked away.
Hotohori looked at his two companions and sighed. Somehow this was turning to be quite disturbing…
Okay… that was quite long… so, what do you think? Shall I make it Yui-Amiboshi, Yui-Hotohori, or Yui-Nuriko? Yui-Suboshi is totally out of the question since I somehow feel that he's too immature for someone as intellectual as her. Oh and there'd be a Tomo-Soi and the usual (read: sickening) Tamahome-Miaka pairing… Please bear with me… Reviews are wanted, needed, craved for… That as well as CONSTRUCTIVE criticism… I really hope to get none of the "Yui sucks!" type. Yui happens to be my fave character, FYI! That being said, I bid you farewell. Till the next chap… Did I mention this was a series?