Please refer to Chapter One: Day One for the STANDARD DISCLAIMER.

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Ohayo, minna-san. Thanks for the wonderful reviews. I'm glad you liked my fic. Anyway, the poll on who ends up with Yui is still up but for an update, it looks like Amiboshi-san's winning over Hotohori-san and Nuriko-san and I repeat, Suboshi-san is DEFINITELY out of the question. Whether you agree, disagree or have other suggestions, tell me through your reviews. And since, the poll is not yet concluded, please bear with little old Yui-Hotohori loving me, just for this chapter, please… I'll give you a nice shiny quarter… Oh and I know that the image of Tomo and Soi together is mentally disturbing but what can I say… I AM a mentally disturbed individual. Come to think of it, ANY author who writes this sort of fics has to be mentally disturbed, ne? ^ ^;;

Oh well, on to the fic… Let's see how I torture… I mean, manipulate… I mean make the characters do what I WANT  them to do even if what I want them to do is not what they usually do…

Oh and by the way, what's the primary genre of this fic again?

Massive sweatdrops from cast.

THE CAMPING TRIP

By: Ryuuen

Day Two

The Chapter That Was… Or Will Be…

            It was dawn in the Universe of the Four Gods. The sun was beginning to peek out from the horizon, which was, in reality, the Eastern region of Kutou, Seiryuu country, casting its majestic rays all around. A playful morning breeze blew, trysting with early birds on the hunt as well as the nondescript articles of clothing early farmers wore as they treaded down the dusty paths towards the fields that they towed. The hills were a lush color of green and…

Yui: .:clearing her throat:. Ahemm… excuse me, Author-sama…

Author: Nani?

Yui: Please enlighten me as to what those things you are describing have to do with the actual story?

Author: …. .:shrugs:. Nothing.

Yui: Well, then why don't you get down to the story? It's freezing out here! (shown standing out of her room in a drafty corridor in her… well, sleeping garment…)

Author: Alright… Demo, Yui-san… why are you standing out of your room in a drafty corridor in your… well, sleeping garment…

Yui: How should I know? You, Ryuuen-sama, are the author of this damn fic, are you not? You made me stand out of my room in a drafty corridor in my… well, sleeping garment…

Author: Now, now, Yui-san. Cursing isn't allowed.

Yui: And you expect me to believe THAT! You have Tasuki swearing in every single one of his lines.

Author: .:shakes her head:. Oh alright! You are allowed to curse anybody you wish as long as it isn't me or else I may forget that you're my favorite character!

Yui: And what the fuck do you mean by that?

Author: You know, I've been seriously thinking of pairing you up with Amiboshi-san, Nuriko-san or Hotohori-san and NOT trapping you with Suboshi-san…

Yui: .:blinks:. You are?

Author: Yup… that is, if you behaved yourself. But, what a shame! Under the circumstances…

Yui: .:in a sugary sweet voice:. You know, Ryuuen-sama, you really are the best fanfic writer I have ever known… .:in a whisper:. Even if you DID dress me up in Tomo's clothes in your first chap…

Author: Nani? What was that?

Yui: .:still in a sugary sweet voice:. Nothing. I was just saying how mush I loved wearing Tomo's clothes and how brilliant you were to have thought of that dare instead of something hentai for me.

Author: Why, thank you, Yui-san. I'm glad you think so. Shall we continue on with the fic now?

Yui: Hai.

Author: Oh, and by the way, Yui-san.

Yui: Nani?

Author: You aren't supposed to converse with the narrator of a fic, aren't you?

Yui: O_O;; Hai.

Author: .:smiles:. Good. Now, as I was saying…

            The hills were a lush green, fringed with wildflowers and the clear early morning sky was a bridal flush of rose.

Yui: .:evil glare while rubbing bare shoulders:.

Author: .:evil grin:. Oh Suboshi-san…

Yui: .:smiles sweetly:. -.-;;

              However, I will not go on talking about the sun, the farmers, the birds, the hills or any other component of nature…

Yui: .:sighs in relief:.

            For now…

Yui: o.O;;

            Since they have no bearing whatsoever in this part of the story aside from serving as an indication that it was indeed dawn. We are, however, going to focus on one of the early risers, as early as the aforementioned farmers and birds, who now stared at the rising sun from one of the ornate corridors of the Imperial Palace of Konan, clad in nothing more than her, well… sleeping garment. Hongou Yui, Seiryuu no Miko, stifled a yawn. For some unknown reason, she was hardly able to sleep that night.

Yui: @ @

            She was about to go back into the room she shared with Miaka (now do you understand why she hardly got any sleep that night?) when suddenly, a door not far from theirs opened and out stepped…

Suboshi fan:      Suboshi-sama?

Amiboshi fan:    Amiboshi-sama?

Nuriko fan:       Either of those two bakas up there? .:points:.

Hotohori fan:    Nuriko? .:mumbles:. Just so he'd stop stalking Hotohori-sama… .:mumbles:.

            "Hotohori-san!"

Above-mentioned fans: Damn you, Ryuuen! .:are struck by lightning:.

Author: .:whistles nonchalantly and hands a smirking Soi a picture of a naked Nakago to torture Tomo with:.

            The emperor of Konan looked up from his musing (which basically consisted of the litany, "I'm so beautiful, it's a crime. I'm so beautiful, it's a crime. I'm so beautiful, it's a crime…") and regarded his former enemy casually. "Yui-san, what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be asleep?"

            "I know," she sighed. "I just can't sleep with all the racket Miaka makes when she snores, not to mention her latching onto my arm as though it were some sort of chicken leg…"

            Hotohori sweatdropped. "I see. Demo why are you…" he blushed.

Author: .:grins:. No comment!

             She blushed as well and tried desperately to cover herself up.

Anti-Yui fan: Why the hell does she bother? It's not like the whole world hasn't seen her naked, the slut!

Author: WHAT! DID! YOU! SAY?!?

Anti-Yui fan: I just said…

Author: DIE! DIE! DIE! .:chases after fan with Ryuuseisui:.

Suboshi: Ryuuen-sama! How dare you steal my Ryuuseisui? You who persistently tries to pull Yui-sama away from me! You who doesn't see the love we share with one another… .:said Miko twitches:. You who…

Author: Calm down, Suboshi-san. I'm just borrowing it to torture an anti-Yui fan.

Suboshi: Oh… okay…o.O

Author: Thanks… now where was I? Oh, yeah… DIE! DIE! DIE! .:chases anti-Yui fan:.

Anti-Yui fan: .:screams as author ties him/her/it up:. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Author: .: cackles ala Tomo:. KAKAKAKAKAKA!!! Face the wrath of the almighty Ryuuen!!! KAKAKAKAKAKA!!! .:places table in front of gagged anti-Yui   fan and slowly unveils what's hidden underneath:.

Anti-Yui fan: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm MEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!!

Author: .:cackles ala Tomo again:. KAKAKAKAKAKAKA!!! Never underestimate an insane sugar-high insomniac fanfiction writer!!! .:smiles sweetly at what… I mean, who was unveiled:. Domo arigato gozaimasu, Taiitsukun-san!

Taiitsukun: Anytime. By the way, would you like to stop over for some tea after you're finished tortu… I mean, writing your fic?

Author: Gomen, Taiitsukun-san but I think I…

Yui: .:impatient look:. …

Hotohori: .:impatient look and nose bleed:.

Yui: .: mutters:. Hentai-minded authors…

Author: .:raises eyebrow:. Nani?

Yui: .:smiles sweetly:.

Author: Alright, Back to the fic…

            "No reason… I was just wondering how different dawn looks in Konan…" she stuttered looking away.

            "Oh… And how do you find it…" he managed to squeak out.

            "It… suits your country…"

            The Emperor was surprised. "Nani?"

            "Well then, I guess I'd better go change now."

            "Yeah. Before Suboshi-san wakes up."

            Yui smirked. "Yeah."

            "Oh, and by the way. I'd like to speak with you for a moment if you don't mind…well, after you're dressed, that is."

            Yui quirked a brow as she entered their room and began to change. What would the emperor wish to discuss with her? Pulling off her sleeping garment, she was reminded that she promised to go horseback riding with Miaka to shop for goods that day so she pulled on a male Chinese outfit and walked out. The Emperor quirked a brow. "Yui-san… I thought last night was only a dare. I didn't know you were into the transvestite thing…"

            The miko twitched. "Gomen, Hotohori-san, if my outfit repulses you but I had promised to go horseback riding with Miaka today to pick up some stuff we're going to bring on the camping trip."

            Her companion frowned. "I didn't mean it THAT way…"

            "Well, then. What was it you wished to speak to me about?"

            He stopped and looked at her seriously. "Yui-san… err… it's about… err… two of your seishi…"

            She frowned. Nani? Didn't I have Nakago give them explicit orders not to bother any occupants of the palace? Regaining her composure, she nodded for him to continue.

            "Well, Yui-san… Nakago and Soi…" he trailed off.

            Yui's brow twitched. "Oh, I see. They were at it again last night and the noises bothered you."

            "Well, not me particularly, just one of my chief advisers. He came complaining to me first thing in the morning about it, exclaiming about decency and morality… it wasn't a pretty sight."

            She nodded. "Hai. I'll try to speak with them though I doubt if they shall listen to me."

            "Domo arigato, Yui-s…"

            Hotohori trailed off as a pinkish blur whizzed past him and he toppled onto Yui upon the floor where they lay swirly eyed.

            "Stop… the… world… want… to… get… off…" they muttered simultaneously.

            Behind them, a pillar erupted into flames as a half-naked Tasuki emerged threatening to fry a gloating Tamahome who was waving something frantically in the air.

            "MIAKA!!! Help… save me… he… Nuriko…"

            "Damn it, obake-chan! Come back here! Rekka Shinen!!!"

            Just at the moment, another door opened and the twins peeked out to find out what the commotion was all about. Chiriko then happened to pass by.

            "Yui-sensei, why are you and Hotohori-sama sleeping on top of each other on the floor? Was it mighty cold in your chambers?"

            All activity ceased as they looked at the two in question who quickly jumped up and coughed to cover their embarrassment.

Yui: .:mutters:. Embarrassed?! Me?! I don't think so!? Ingenious-best-friends-turned-archenemies-turned-back-to-best-friend-for-the-moment, as a rule, never EVER get embarrassed…

Ryuuen: .:twitch:. As you say so… Yui-san… .:double twitch:.

Hotohori: Umm… Yui-san… I think you should stop interrupting Author-sama before she forgets that you're her favorite character… You wouldn't want to find yourself suddenly in a lemon with a certain psychotic twin and his yoyos, who shall remain nameless…

Suboshi: .:twitch:. How many times should I tell you people that my ryuuseisui are NOT damn yoyos!? And get the f*ckng hell away from MY Yui-sama!?

Yui: Of course, Hotohori-CHAN… Whatever was I thinking?

All: Hotohori-CHAN?!

Hotohori: O.o

Ryuuen: .:triple twitch:. Minna-san… SHUT THE F*CK UP AND LET ME GO ON WITH THE FIC, WILL YA?! The story's going nowhere fast at the rate things are going…

Tamahomo: Wait a minute! This is a humor fic… There isn't supposed to be any plot to this!

All: .:giggle:.

Tamahomo: .:looks around:. Hey, what's so funny? .:Reads fic written so far and does a double take:. What the!? RYUUEN-SAAAAAAN!!!

Ryuuen: Oops… Gomen… Typographical error…

Tamahome: ¬.¬ Yeah right… I don't think you're stupid enough to commit the same typo error twice…

Ryuuen: Why Tamahomo… err… Tamahome-san… Is it just me or did you just pay me a compliment? I'm touched…

Tamahome: ¬.¬

Miaka: .:tugs at author's sleeve:. Umm… Ryuuen-san… Is THAT in the script? .:points to Hotohori and Yui making out in the corner with Amiboshi looking on wide-eyed and restraining a rabid Suboshi at the same time:.

Amiboshi: .:thinking about the kiss he shared with Yui the previous night:. Yui-sama… Doshite?

Ryuuen: .:twitch raised to the nth degree:.

Hotohori and Yui: .:continue to make out:.

Ryuuen: Umm… Hotohori-san… Yui-san…

Hotohori and Yui: .:pause for breath:. Hai?

Ryuuen: Would you PLEASE stop making out? That comes in later… NOT now!?

All: O.o It does?

Suboshi: .:launches into a long string of expletives not fir to be put down in print:.

Amiboshi: Author-sama… I thought…

Ryuuen: Oh, don't worry, minna… Everyone's gonna get some… .:evil glint in eye© Nakkie-poo:.

All: O.O We are?

Tasuki: .:joins Suboshi in his tirade:.

Hotohori: Umm… Ryuuen-san… Just what are you up to this time?

Ryuuen: Well… ^ ^

All: Well?

Ryuuen: Miaka-san, may I please speak with you for a minute…

All: .:fall over as Miaka skips to the author…:.

Ryuuen and Miaka: .:whisper: .:nod:. .:whisper:. .:giggle:. .:whisper:. .:grumble:.

Miaka: That was my stomach, minna… Gomen… ^ ^

All: .:sweatdrop:.

Yui: .:clears throat:. Umm… Ryuuen-san…

Ryuuen: .:genkily:. Hai, Yui-san?

Yui: Could we please get back to the fic NOW? All these somewhat-akugis-but-not-quite scripts are giving me a migraine…

Suboshi: Oh Yui-sama… if ever thy needs to faint, thou should fear nay… For thou love shall catch thee in his arms and… .:smack:.

Yui: .:dusts off hands:. Baka hentai…

Suboshi: Aniki… look at the pwetty wittle Tomo-the-homo-kuns… .:faints, thought it's not sure whether it's from Yui's punch or from an SD-Tomo overdose:.

Ryuuen: .:massages:. Y'know what, Yui-san? I think you're migraine's contagious…

Yui: .:hands her pills:.

Ryuuen: Domo… .:takes pills without reading the indications:. .:head crashes into the keyboard and stays there:. …

Yui: .:sweatdrop:. Um… Ryuuen-san… .:poke:. Ryuuen-san…

Tamahome: Is she dead?

Ryuuen: .:mumbles:. Yeah right!? You wish!? .:sniffle:. .:snore:.

All: O.o

Chiriko: Umm… Yui-san… Why did you give Ryuuen-san sleeping pills for her migraine?

All: .:fall over:.

            Alright, that was pathetic!? So, kill me!? I'm not in my right state of mind as of the moment… Gomen… However, you must look out for the third chap… I'm gonna make the seishi play another game in there… What is it, I'm not telling… I'm just sure you're gonna enjoy it…

Yui: Translation: Characters beware!

Ryuuen: .:glare:. Better translation… Read and review and tell me which naughty game do you think the characters should play… Until next chap!? At least, until the next REAL chap…

All: .:roll eyes:.

And now, for the lack of anything better to do, I've gone outta my way to answer a few of your special reviews that keep this fic and my writing in general going…

As of 4 May 2003

Michiro-Shizume         Thanks a lot for your support… Do you really think it's hentai? Well, never mind… At least you thought it was funny… That's the whole point to writing a humor fic, ne? Ne? ^ ^

Cute                            Hehe… Gomen… I wasn't really supposed to put this chapter up but my twisted sense of humor found it funny… Don't worry… The next REAL chaps would be somewhat like my first… At least I hope they'll be… Characters are really pretty hard to manipu- err… direct…

                                    Tasuki: Direct my a**…

                                    Shut up or else it'd be you, Nakago and some handcuff in the Make-out Room®…

                                    Ahem… You like Hotohori-Yui? I'm rather biased to that pairing too… ^ ^ Isn't that obvious?

Venus-oneechan          .:glomp:. Wai! Wai! Wai! You think I'm crazy!? .:pause:. Wait a minute… Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Hehe… Suboshi being poetic was quite funny… More characters? I'm thinking about cameos in the future…

Ryven64                      I'm glad you like my self-insertions… Few people do… .:cries:. Am I that bad?!

                                    Entire Cast: (Hell) YES!!

                                    .:grumble:. I'm glad you liked the entire Tamahomo thingie… It really started out as a typographical error but when I reread my work, it was so funny that I didn't have the heart to erase it… And yes, I WILL continue… When? Now that's another matter altogether… Hope you could bear with this lazy author here…

Daughter of Darkness Thanks…

Mikazuki                     Chibi-Chiri: .:glomps onto Chibi-Tasuki:. I wuv you!

                                    Chibi-Tasuki: .:blushes:.

                                    Aww… Kawaii ne? I'm not sure just when I'm gonna update, though…

Kari no Miko               Umm… Does this count as an update?? .:sweatdrop:. Well, if you're asking for the next REAL chapter… Remember, patience is a virtue…

Triple A                       .:blush:. Did you mean me or Nuriko-sama? Domo arigatou nonetheless… I'm still thinking about whom to pair Yui with but the Tomo-Soi stuff sure as h*ll stays!

                                    Chibi-Chiri: Oi, oi… You're beginning to sound more like Tasuki-kun, no da…

                                    .:blush:.

Violamana                   Funny and confusing? I guess that's me…

                                    Yui: You're forgetting stupid and terrible and lazy and dull and…

                                    Amiboshi: Yui-sama, do you think it's wise to prod Ryuuen-san further? You did almost kill her up there… .:points to ending:.

                                    @ @ Anou… If you want to clarify anything, feel free to ask… Did I mention that this is my first attempt at humor?

Star                             Thanks for the multiple reviews… Wait up for the next REAL chapter… ^ ^

Faerie_X                     Interesting name… Gomen if things began to get redundant… I was kinda running out of ideas towards the end of writing the first chap… Answer to your question: Tasuki was thinking of kissing the persons who interrupted his fight with, and thus saving him from, Tamahome… And who were they? The Seiryuu seishi of course… ^ ^

                                    Yui: .:rolls eyes:. Don't mind her… She's a moron… She's the wo-- .:is cut off:.

                                    Hotohori: .:cuts her off by placing his hand on her mouth and running away with her:.

                                    Suboshi: .:brandishing Ryuuseisui:. Give me back MY Yui-sama!

                                    Ahemm… Anyway… Yeah, I think Chiriko and Yui look kawaii together, well, platonically speaking that is… I'll try to put in a little of every pairing until I make up my mind whom to stick with, though…

Priestess Tokiko          Gomen, Miko-sama… I don't favor Suboshi that much…

                                    Suboshi: .:whimpers and begins to cry:. You're so MEAN, Ryuuen-san! Meaniemeaniemeanie! .:wails:. Aniki!\

                                    Amiboshi: .:comforting his twin:. It's gonna be okay, Shun-chan…

                                    Suboshi: .:realizes that his twin was one of Yui's prospected partners and jumps up:. Gah! Traitor! .:chases Amiboshi:.

                                    Amiboshi: .:is being chased:.

                                    Tamahome: I'm betting 200 yen he's gonna catch him in 10 minutes…

                                    Nuriko: Nah, make that 500 yen, 15 minutes…

Digi-riven                    Aww… Kawaii inu… I'll try to put up the REAL chapter soon, then… I just can't resist puppy dog eyes…

Fushigi_ Yuugi            Sorry… No Suboshi… Nakago… Well, now that you've mentioned it…

                                    Nakago: .:somewhere minding his own business:. … .:feels a chill run down his spine:. That can't be good…

Em-Chan                     I'm glad it made you laugh… Don't worry… It cracked me up writing this too…

Rachia                         Really? Sugoi! .:bounces up and down:.

                                    Miboshi: I never will understand her…

                                    Ashitare: Growrruruffraw… Arfgrowrooo…

                                    Translation: Ditto…

Aka-chan                     .:blushes:. Thanks…

Boogie                         A truth or dare for Miaka? .:sheepish grin:. Well, I kinda neglected that… ^ ^ Okay, so I did it on purpose… She was the one who suggested the Truth or Dare game anyway…

                                    Yui: And you say that I'm your favorite character!

Chisato Madison         Suboshi: Of course Yui-sama does not suck! Who said that… I oughta…

Marzoog                      Umm… Thanks… How are you're jaws, by the way?

Spak-chan                   Yep, Yui-sama is so cool! I like her that way… I also like Tomo and Soi but what can I say? I'm a mentally disturbed individual…

                                    Tasuki: Not to mention mentally-challenged…

                                    Chiriko: Tasuki-san… I didn't know such a word could be found in your otherwise limited vocabulary of profanities…

                                    Tasuki: Say what? I was just doing Seiryuu-no-Miko-san over there a favor…

                                    .:sweatdrop:.

Winter                         You know what? I think I like you!? .:glomp:. Can you be my oneechan too?

Vero-chan                   Thanks… I'm glad people don't think my portrayal of Yui to be OOC…

Lilandra                      .:sweatdrop:.

Beach Fradis               The longer the better, eh? Well… I'll try…

Mel                              Thanks…

Kye                              Another Chiri-Tasuki fan, I see… You're kinda growing in number… Well, though that ain't the primary pairing, I'll see what I can do… They're kinda cute when you think about it though I think Nuriko and Tasuki also look cute together… ^ ^

Uftaki                          Thanks…

Seshiri                         .:bows:. I am honored by your review, Seshiri-sama! I'm quite a fan of yours…

Arcanine                      .:bows yet again:. Arcanine-sama! .:and again:. I love your work! Thanks for taking time to write me my first review… .:bows even more:.

With that said…

I'm out!

Cast: .:sigh of relief:.

For now… Bwahahahahaha!!

All: .:fall over anime style:.