This was done as an art trade for Joz-yyh on Deviantart. She wanted to see some DPxVM sexiness taking place in good ole Britain, over a cup of tea at Vlad's summer home. I therefore credit her for the basic layout of this little ficlet, and I hope she, and the rest of you charming readers, really enjoy it. 'Twas fun to write ;)

And to all of you AUB readers: the next chapter is in the works! I repeat, the next chapter is in the works! It's taking so long because I'm going back and rewriting the first four chapters, to update everything into a new, more cohesive style ^_^ So have some more patience, and it will pay off in the end! I promise!

Disclaimer: people, seriously. I don't own Danny Phantom. I WISH I did, so I could…ah…alter a few things…but sadly I don't. Butch Hartman and Nickelodeon *coughs-assholes-coughs* do.

"Err…Vlad? It was nice of you to bring me here and all, but seriously…why are we here again?" Danny stared down at his teacup, grimacing at the mahogany colored liquid inside. "And…tea's not really my thing…."

A pale hand pushed the cup towards him, making it slosh and splatter the holding plate with tiny flecks of sugar and milk laced tea. "Daniel, tea is a very popular drink in Britain. In fact, I daresay you could consider it the only drink that holds any standing, aside from coffee. And we are here because your parents asked me to care for you while they were out of town with Jasmine, viewing colleges."

"…pretty sure this wasn't what they had in mind."

"Nonsense. Memory recalls your mother asking that I ensure you received plenty of fresh air, exercise, and entertainment." Vlad leaned his elbows on the table, stirring his own cup of tea idly with a silver spoon. "We are in the English countryside. There is nowhere in the world more refreshing. I have a full afternoon's worth of outdoor activities planned, including flying to the nearest town. We're in dire need of proper produce. And as for the entertainment…" he let a liquid smile tease his lips, dark eyes smoldering in the early morning light. "I believe I've offered you plenty of that thus far."

To his credit, Danny didn't flush…much. "Yeah-" hiding a flustered look, he picked up one of the many sweets littering the table. "What is this? A cookie?"

Vlad sighed. "You continue to wow me with you extensive knowledge, Daniel." Taking the sweet from him, he dipped it into Danny's tea. "It's called a biscuit here in Britain. They are often served with tea, or sometimes coffee, depending on the hour." Reaching over the table, Vlad gently ran the pad of his thumb over Danny's lips. "I find them quite tasty myself."

Danny shuddered. "Figures. The fruit loop liking sweets. I never would've guessed."

"Ahh, there's that wit again." The thumb on Danny's lips pushed between them, making him open his mouth. Vlad held it open with his fingers when the teen tried to snap it shut, and, chuckling, popped the biscuit into his mouth. Tea soaked bread all but melted across his tongue, sweet, and flavorful. Danny frowned in surprise, the biscuit chewed and swallowed with a content purr. "Well?" Vlad smirked at him, and the teen shrugged, pushing his hand away.

"Not bad V-Man. Not bad at all."

The billionaire twitched at the nickname, but somehow kept a pleasant smile on his face. "I had a feeling you would enjoy it, Little Badger."

Each male cringed. They glared back and forth, dozens of insults rolling through their heads, each one clear as day on handsome features. Silent debates back and forth, until finally Danny burst into laughter, Vlad following. Really, it was ridiculous how they interacted. The witty banter just couldn't be helped though. It was as much a part of their life as ghost fighting and, well…arguing. "Ok, so, we're in the middle of the English countryside," Danny chuckled, plucking up another coo-biscuit and dipping it into his tea. "You said you brought me here because Mom and Dad were out of town."

"That is correct," Vlad purred, sipping from his own cup. "As I already said, I'm only honoring your mother's wishes. And due to my rather large bank account, it's fairly easy for me to see them through." He set down the teacup, china delicately clinking.

Danny shook his head. Sheesh, the man acted like freaking royalty. Hnn…well, he was rich enough to be, that was for sure. "Here's what I don't get. WHY England? Why not stay in Amity Park?" Jabbing his spoon at the billionaire, he added several more cubes of sugar to his tea, then some milk, stirring the rapidly paling liquid. Not like he was going to drink it anyway. Afternoon tea just wasn't his thing. The tiny sandwiches were pretty good though. "I mean, seriously? We had to come all the way to merry old England for me to relax?"

Picking up a scone, Vlad split it apart and smeared jam and clotted cream across the warm, fluffy bread. "Why England? Oh Daniel, it's quite simple." He held out one half of the scone to Danny, who took it with a murmured thank you. "I wanted to practice my British accent."

The scone was halfway to his mouth before Danny jaw dropped, pale face going blank with confusion. "Umm…say what?"

Biting into his own half, Vlad chewed and swallowed the sweetened bread, wiping a smudge of cream off of his lips, a playful smile directed at the his lover. "I said that I wanted to practice my British accent." And things wouldn't have been so utterly amusing if he hadn't just spoken that with an accent Danny had only ever heard from the cast of Harry Potter. "Surely you understand me, Daniel. I'm aware there isn't much chance for you to experience foreign cultures in Amity Park, but you do watch television. A bit too much, but that can't be helped."

Wide eyed, the teen gaped at him. Did Vlad just…did he….? Danny chomped down on the bread in his hand, smearing jam over his tongue. His shoulders trembled, stomach lurching, and he grit his teeth together, trying to hold it back. With the pious look on his lover's face though, that was a hard thing to manage. "Oh-oh my-" Danny shook his head, covering his mouth. "Vlad-!"

"Come now. It's not that astounding." Rolling his eyes, Vlad pried the hand away. "Spend enough time in a foreign country and you pick up their way of speaking." The accent was heavy, but perfectly flawless. He sounded like the perfect British gentleman, save for the snark Danny could hear coating the casual words. Yeah, like anything could take the bastard out of the gentleman. Not in Vlad's case anyway. "Daniel?"

Danny giggled. "Y-yeah Vlad?"

Vlad scowled, tapping his fingers on the tabletop. "….are you…laughing at me?"

"No…no, of course not. Why would I laugh at you?" Danny curled his legs up to his chest, muffling a telltale chortle. "You just…sound so-so-oh my god!" He gave in. Hysterical laughter echoed across the garden, and he didn't even bother to hide it. "You sound like a gay Dumbledore! Oh man, that's the greatest thing ever!"

"…I fail to see what's so entertaining about my accent. And Albus Dumbledore is gay. You would know that if you spent more time reading decent literature, rather than loafing around in front of a television screen all day." Vlad frowned more. His teenaged lover didn't seem to have any intentions of stopping his giggling tirade. "Daniel, at which point do you plan to cease this ridiculous behavior?"

Danny kept laughing, feet kicking against the seat of his chair. "S-sorry Vlad, it's just….just…you sound so stupid!"

Stupid? Vlad's right temple twitched. Alright, this was getting painfully ridiculous. "Daniel, if you don't cease your laughter right now, then I'll be forced to take extreme measures." He rose from his chair, height giving him an impressive demeanor when compared to the sixteen year old Danny's smaller stature. Not that he was incredibly small, of course. Two years of hormones and aging had added several good inches to his height, and ghost fighting, not to mention Vlad's rigorous training, were helpful to his muscle build. "Well?" Vlad rounded the table, confronting the giggling teen.

Danny looked up at him, still red in the face from laughter. "V-Vlad-" he bit down on his lip, but nothing really did a good job of stifling the sounds. "You just…the accent…it sounds…"

Vlad sighed, and his hands went slamming down onto the chair armrests. Danny jumped, and he bit his lip harder, staring at the limbs that had created a makeshift cage for his body. In effect, he was trapped. ….ah shit.

"If you had any familiarity with the British culture, or their manner of speech, then you wouldn't find my accent so amusing." Vlad bent low, bringing their faces mere inches from each other. Thin lips pulled upwards into a faint smirk, making the brunette in the chair shudder. That smirk never meant anything good for him. Well, so to speak anyway. "Had I known you were so in dire need for a proper education, I would've acted sooner."

"Sooner? Vlad, what the-" the teen was cut off by Vlad's mouth crushing his own, pressure against the seam of his lips forcing them to part. Vlad maneuvered his tongue inside, the wet muscle wriggling against Danny's own, curling and prodding and winding flawlessly around the other, squeezing gently. Danny groaned, couldn't help himself. Vlad was a damn good kisser. "Vlad…"

Leaning back just enough to stare into vivid blue eyes, Vlad lifted a pale hand and grazed the side of his face, fingertips brushing aside a lock of silky bangs. "I don't take kindly to laughter at my behalf, Daniel," he murmured, British accent continuously coloring his soft baritone. "You should know that very well. Consider it a remaining annoyance from my past, or just my own ego acting up, but there is no reason for your discourteous behavior."

"Dis-discour-" Danny sputtered, shoving at him. "It was just laughter! Geez, it's not like I spat in your face!"

"On the contrary. A laugh can be just as insulting. But I wouldn't expect you to know anything about that." Vlad's smirk widened, edges of mockery lacing the British tongue. Accent be damned; Vlad was a pompous jerk, through and through.

No wonder it suited him so.

"Like you're one to talk!" Danny pushed him harder, trying to free himself from the chair. "Quit being an ass and let me up!"

Vlad's hands did lift from the chair. But, instead of moving away completely, one closed around the collar of the thin v-neck sweater he'd lent him, lifting the brunette clear off the seat and making his booted feet scrape the concrete patio. Danny yelped, grappling for him, but, to no surprise, Vlad was still stronger than him. Dammit.

"Daniel, I think you need more of that entertainment we discussed." Pulling him away from the table by the sweater, Vlad shoved him back against the manor's glass patio door, distorted reflections showing the hungry gleam in his sapphire eyes. "As this is the countryside, we can take it one further. I'll give you a lesson in manners, one that is both enjoyable and fruitful to your education, and you'll receive fresh air all the while."

Danny grunted as he was pressed into the glass, cool panes radiating cold down his cheek. "You can't be serious! All this because I laughed at your accent?"

Red fabric stretched, riding up Danny's torso and replaced with wandering hands. They were eager, just like the purr Vlad released into his ear. "I already told you. It's rude to laugh at someone." Pushing aside the lengthy strands covering Danny's nape, the billionaire kissed what skin he could reach, deft fingers pinching a nipple and making Danny groan. "I have every right to punish you. But since I just adore you," Vlad grinned, scrolling the sweater higher until it was up and over Danny's head, dropped into a pile on the concrete. "I'll help you learn the error of your ways, my dear boy."

"Oh, fantastic! Plan on fucking some sense into me?"

His already wicked smile turned darker, hunger possessing it. "Actually, yes. What better way to make my point?" Vlad nipped his throat, groin pressing to Danny's backside. The teen lurched, feeling his clothed erection straining against the fine fabric of his trousers. "Besides Daniel, that method seems to work best in your case."

Sorely tempted to kick the older man, or stomp on his foot at the very least, Danny squirmed against the door. "Freaking fruit loop! I laughed at you! Big deal!" He twisted his head around, irises flashing green. "It's your own fault anyway, for having such a stupid accent!"

"Ah, again with the insults." Vlad hooked his fingers in worn denim, tugging Danny's jeans down until they slung low on his thin hips. "My accent is perfect, despite what you may think, and a boy with little exposure to outside influences really has no say otherwise." Pressing seamlessly to the teen's back, he wound his right hand down the front of his torso, popping open the button on his jeans. "But since we are in the British countryside, I'll have to take full advantage of the opportunities given."

The hand went snaking past his waistband, cupping tented boxers. Danny shuddered, temple rapping against the glass, and he breathed a soft groan as slender fingers maneuvered into the cloth, one touching the tip of his cock. "Ahh…..Vlad-"

Vlad wrapped all five around the rigid shaft, squeezing lightly. "I wonder….do you really find my accent all that amusing? Or do you simply take pleasure in annoying me?" He milked the erection in his hand, taking pleasure in the way Danny arched back against him, eyes wide under sloppy cut bangs. "Well? Which is it?"

Danny thrust into the unyielding grip. "Vlad….let me go…."

"Why? Aren't you enjoying the lesson?" The elder chuckled, more British murmurs echoing in Danny's ear. "I believe, dear little badger, that it's the latter. You seem to take great pleasure in vanquishing any hope I might have for peace of mind. Ironic really, considering you bring that very peace." His hand rubbed down the length of taut flesh, fingers smearing the dribbling beads of precum that oozed forth. "Planning on offing yourself to torment me completely?"

"A-always with the-ah-quips," Danny grit through his teeth, pants melting into his voice, smooth like cream and just as rich to the billionaire's ears. He pushed Danny's jeans down around his knees, boxers following suite, leaving the brunette naked before the glass door. "Cold.."

Thumb running down a pulsing vein, Vlad chuckled. "It's a small price to pay."

A zipper sounded dully behind him, followed by the rustling of clothes, and Danny turned his head only to see a shirtless, low slung pants wearing Vlad behind him, mischievous smile in place. And his cock was withdrawn; thick, pulsing, and inching close to his backside. "…is everything sex with you?"

"Of course not." The tip rubbed between his cheeks, teasing his puckered entrance. Danny smothered his cries of pleasure, sensitive nerves raw in the chilly air. "I already informed you, Daniel, that this is a lesson for you. The sex is merely a…..pleasant after note, so to speak." Vlad placed his free hand on the teen's hip, tip gaining entrance and sliding into tight warmth. "Daniel…." he drew fingers upward, touching a naked collarbone before draping them across a racing pulse. "Do you want me?"

"Ahh…" shuddering, Danny tried to push himself back onto the intrusion, palms turning sticky against the glass door. "C'mon Vlad….don't tease!"

"And why ever not," Vlad retorted, thrusting deeper into the teen, the hand on Danny's cock still pumping languidly. Yet he controlled it all, keeping the paces just slow enough to drive his lover crazy, and Danny slapped his forehead once, twice, against the glass, moaning deep. "I think you're enjoying yourself." His arm slid around a pale neck, forcing Danny's back to arch and press taut to his own naked chest. "Despite all your complaints, you like it when I tease you. Don't you, Daniel?"

Grunting, the brunette clawed at his arm, nails marking flesh with ragged lines that bled pink in the afternoon sun. "You gonna keep-aah-rambling on and on like the fruit loop you are, or do you plan on fucking me sometime this century?" He wriggled his hips, muscles squeezing, and laid his head back on the billionaire's shoulders. Vlad's dark gaze met his own pearlescent blue, matching pleasure stained bright in both sets of orbs.

He wanted it. Badly. Danny smirked, craning up to kiss the side of Vlad's neck. "…..'cause I gotta tell you, V-man. This is getting kinda boring."

"…boring?" Midnight flashed red, and a handful of Danny's hair was yanked hard. He groaned, his voice a mingle of pain and pleasured ecstasy. "You think I'm boring…?" Vlad's fingers, unrelenting in their hold, went rigid as wire, forcing the teen to crane his head up and tilt sideways. Lips found a pulse point, sucking gently, and then they went higher, teasing below his earlobe. "Forgive me Daniel. I never intended to bore you." Vlad chuckled, thumbing a line down Danny's erection. "I'll just have to up the ante then."

"U-up the a-" Danny reached for his hands, feeling a faint flicker of concern. Vlad looked far too happy for his tastes. "Vlad….."

"Don't look so worried," the older man yanked himself out, earning a gasp. "I think you'll enjoy this."

…..of that, he had no doubt. Well, kinda. "Vlad, what're you-oi! Leggo!" Yelping, Danny scrabbled for balance as he was turned around and hoisted into the air, his back smashed against the glass door. Spreading his dangling legs, Vlad hooked them over his elbows and thrust back into him, groaning as the tight heat engulfed his flesh. "A-oh god," Danny's arms went around his neck, holding tight, strangled gasps falling from his lips. Cool one way, hot the other. He could feel his back continuously slamming into the door from the thrusts, and it was far more of a turn on than it should've been. "Vlad-Vlad, c'mon," he groaned from between gnashing teeth, resting his forehead on Vlad's shoulder.

"Hmm?" His own sense of decorum perfectly in place, Vlad bucked up harder into him. "Tell me what you want, Daniel." Another grip of Danny's cock, followed by his tip hungrily rubbing a sensitive prostate. "Do you want me to let you cum? Is that what you want?" He hissed each word in Danny's ear, teething the lobe and sucking it gently. "Come now, you have to tell me these things. I can't read your mind."

"I-I-fuck Vlad, I want-" Danny's lips couldn't form the words. Everything was melding together in a colorless whirl of never-ending pleasure; the feel of Vlad's cock inside him, his erection being pumped in sinuous strokes…that contemptible accent Vlad just refused to drop. 'He's doing it on purpose!' Groaning mentally, and maybe verbally, he sank teeth into the pale skin before his lips, riding the waves of pleasure as he was fucked against the door.

This was his punishment. Vlad was going to drive him crazy until he begged for forgiveness, or submitted to his will.

…dammit.

Danny closed his eyes, wriggling against the polished glass. "Vlad…."

Said man smirked down at him, clutching him tighter to his chest, cock stilling inside him. "Say it Daniel….say it, and I'll give you what you want."

He was buried to the hilt, throbbing…painfully hard…..pressed full on against his thrumming prostate…oh god….Danny rammed his fingers into silver hair, arching back in strong arms. He didn't really have a choice at this point. There was only so much his younger body could take. And unfortunately, his lover knew exactly how to string it along, drive him over the ledge. "Ok! Uncle! White flag!" He clenched his legs around a strong waist, scrabbling desperately at Vlad's back. "I'm sorry! I shouldn't have made fun of your accent, alright? That was wrong! It's not stupid, or gay, or retarded!"

His face lined with amusement, Vlad pecked the corner of his mouth. "You never said anything about it being retarded, Daniel."

"…I was thinking it…." Danny cringed at the frown shot his way, hastily stammering, "But that's not true! It's really, really good, ok?" His cheeks flushed cherry red, and the tendrils of climax started unfurling between his legs. Moaning, he exhaled a raspy breath, shuddering. "I-I even kinda like it! It makes me feel, aghh, y'know-all warm and stuff!"

"….I knew it." Leaning back enough to look down upon the teen he was holding aloft in his arms, the elder grinned, kissing his brow. "Thank you for confirming my suspicions Daniel. I admit, hearing them from your own lips was far more entertaining than I thought it would be." He pivoted his hips lightly, tasting flesh with his cock. Danny gasped, and he did it again, milking his member in a large hand. "Are you close," he purred, smirking at the teen's weak nod. "Good. Because really Daniel, you're a lot heavier than you look." Hoisting him further up the glass, Vlad tore out of him only to shove right back in, grunting and slapping a palm against the doorframe. "Let go…"

Like he could do anything but. Danny went limp in the man's arms, legs trembling as spurts of white coated the flesh of their stomachs. He swore he saw stars. "Ngh.." nails flexing into skin, he rode out the climax, barely noticing the next thrust that left Vlad panting in his own release. "…f-fu-"

"One more curse word from your lips, and I'll lock you in your room without supper," Vlad chastised, gently withdrawing from the slackening sheath of the teen's body. "Honestly Daniel. I know Maddie taught you better than that."

Danny grunted as he was set down on his own two feet. Hello backache of the millennium. "You know I could just phase through the floor, right?" He retrieved his clothes, slipping them on. Afternoon or not, it was cool out.

"You realize I would merely punish you again," Vlad replied, helping him into the sweater and pants. The bastard had already pulled his own clothes back on, how Danny didn't know. Man could dress as fast as a stupid cheetah. "And I believe you've had your taste of punishment for the day. Any more could harm that poor body of yours."

"Minot a freaking china doll Vlad. Sheesh. I can take anything you dish out, and then some." Ignoring the responding laugh, the teen went back over to the tea table. His chair was still pushed back from the commotion, and Danny flopped into it, crossing his arms. The scent of tea and scones was still fresh in the air, and he grabbed one of the remaining treats, dipping it into a small dish of jam and biting off a chunk. All the while, Vlad calmly rejoined him, his aura one of clear gloating. He'd won, and he knew it.

"I don't underestimate your strength, dear boy. But you are young. You have quite a while to go before you can even hold a candle to my stamina, much less my power."

Sulking, Danny leaned over the table and pecked him once on the lips. "Yeah yeah. Get off your high horse, Vlad. You're only stronger than me because you're older." He dipped his tongue into the elder's mouth, smearing jam between their lips in a warm kiss. "And for the record. Your accent may be sexy and all, but you still sound like a pretentious jackass."

Vlad cupped the back of his neck, keeping him close when he tried to return to his chair. "That, little badger, is a universal reoccurrence in any language I speak." Licking jam off Danny's lips, he turned his head lightly to the side, purring against the teen's smooth collarbone. "Consider yourself bound to your room tonight."

Blinking, mouth forming a confused frown, Danny watched him pull away. The heck had he done now? "Wha-why?"

"Simple." Chin resting in his palm, the billionaire gave him a faux look of gentlemanly affection. "You cursed, when I specifically told you not to." He took the remaining bit of scone from the teen, whose jaw was practically on the table. "I'll try to be gentle when dolling out your punishment tonight. It wouldn't do to return you to your family worse for wear, now would it."

Danny snapped his mouth shut, watching him eat the sweetened bread. "…you suck Vlad."

"On occasion, yes. But I think that honor will be yours tonight." Vlad winked, patting his cheek. And dammit all, that stupid accent remained firm. That was really the salt in the wound. Not once, ever since donning it, had Vlad broken character. He remained every bit the English gentleman, even when spouting the most obscene of words.

Quickly looking away, Danny grumbled. "…I'm so excited.

"As you should be." Vlad popped the bread into his mouth, chewing vigorously and grinning at his young lover. "If you ask nicely, I'll allot you the use of the clotted cream and jam. You do seem to enjoy them." Picking up his spoon, Vlad poured himself a fresh cup of tea and scooped out a bit of sugar, stirring it in. "I can even turn it into another lesson. Proper etiquette for a guest."

"What, gonna teach me how to best please my host," Danny muttered under his breath. The spoon stilled in its matching china cup, and the silver haired man across from him smiled, a hint of mischief in his dark eyes.

"Indubitably. You could certainly use a few pointers."

…...

Vlad was such a jackass sometimes.