Disclaimer: I own none of the Inuyasha characters.
Rin followed her Lord down the long dirt road. The forest that they were now in was quiet and very very dark since the trees kept any moon light from shining through. It took her awhile to adjust, so she had to focus on the sounds of Sesshomaru's footsteps to lead her.
As she thought about her recent time with her Lord she definintly couldn't of asked for a better day. She walked through a field of flowers with him. She even got to relax by him while enjoying the river, and watching the sun go down. While the quiet may of annoyed anyone else, it only made Rin happier.
She could tell that with the soft eyes he gave her and the quiet atmosphere, he had been relaxed. Rin liked to think that she did make this demon before her happy. After everything he had done for her she wasn't sure how she would every repay him. Certainly little flowers and smiles wouldn't be enough.
He never asked for anything in return, and for that she was grateful for she had nothing to give besides her undying trust and devotion. Of course what else can one give to the being that gave her back her life.
She hadn't even realised that is what happend the day she was killed by wolves, edleast not until Jaken told her. Her only memories were of waking up, and thinking she must of been in heaven. She was almost certain she was being held in the arm of an angel, the angel she found in the forest. Her first and only thought after that was to of course follow the beautiful being. From then on that is what she did.
Even after she saw just how deadly he could be, even after she saw his temper reak havoc on poor Jaken. Even after she saw him in his truest form, and even after she saw all the proof of the demon he really was. She still only saw him as an angel. A beautiful creature that had rescued her time and time again, and took her away from the life of poverty and abuse that she recieved from the villagers that supposably felt sorry for her over the death of her family.
She heard Sesshomaru's footsteps come to a hault, and she stopped hers as well. Looking over his leg she saw that the forest had ended at a small clearing, and beyond the clearing was a village. Rin took to Sesshomaru's side and wondered what they were doing there, until suddenly she realized that it was the village where Inuyasha lived. She smiled, it was the village where Kohaku livedas well along with his sister and the monk.
"Why are we here my Lord?" she asked. This time she decided it was best not to ask again, for he gave her the same first response the last time she asked him a question on their destination. The answer of course, being that he gave no response at all. She hurried to his side as she saw him walk torward the village.
"I wonder how Kohaku is doing, do you think I could go see him Lord Sesshomaru". He answered her with a simple, "Not now," and it left Rin a bit dissapointed. It was not the fact that she couldn't go see her friend, it was the way Sesshomaru said the answer. He didn't look down at her or anything, she barely heard him at all thanks to the quiet night. He almost seemed upset.
It was just like earlier that day when she felt like he was trying to avoid her, instead of simply ignoring her. To Rin the avoiding part was far more devastating.
Sesshomaru picked up the scent of the old priestess, annoyed with the fact that Rin would leave sooner then he thought. He stopped as he looked toward a lonely tree. Beyond that tree was the path that led to the village, to Rin's future. "Couldn't wait huh," was all he said, as Kaede stepped from behind the tree with her bow staff in one hand, and her other beind her back.
Sesshomaru gave her a sharp glare, did this woman intend to attack him if he didn't hand Rin over willingly. He was surprised of her stupidity, not even a purified arrow could pierce him. What made her think her simple weak ones combined with her own weak strength could ever hope to harm him.
"Yae need not worry yourself, it was only out of habit," she said, fully aware that he was thinking about her bow and arrows. She knew she had stood no chance of ever harming him much less actually hitting her mark.
"Huh, as if I could worry," he answered back, he then noticed Rin had come out of hiding from behind his leg to look torward the old woman.
"Lady Kaede?" Rin said, as she revealed herself fully from behind her Lord. Kaede let out a small sigh of relief, and she knew Sesshomaru heard it. She had not seen the girl at first and assumed Sesshomaru had broken the deal.
The girl was here though, and Kaede smiled to her. Completely satisfied that the situation was going smoothly, all Rin needed to do now was say her goodbyes and follow Kaede into the village.
"It is nice to see you once again child," she said, as she extended the hand that was behind her back outward torward Rin, "Now come along".
Kaede expected to hear feet come torward her, but all she heard was a small gasp from the child as Rin looked at her with a confused look. "Wh.. why?" was all Rin could musster out. Her now having a good idea why she was there now, and the thought was already making her studder and her legs wobble.
Kaede quickly looked to Sesshomaru who had his bangs covering his eyes. "Yae have not told her yet". The fact that he didn't upsetted Kaede, knowing that it will only be hard to watch as the scene unfolded before her. She watched as Rin looked to Sesshomaru, her eyes filled with worry.
"Told me what, what does she mean Lord Sesshomaru?". Rin brought her small fists up to her chest, determined to get an answer this time. "Lord Sesshomaru!" she said agian, this time more loudly. She needed to know if what she thought was happening was really happening.
"Go with her Rin," was all he said, as he hide his eyes more in shelter of his long bangs. He could no longer look at her, and he had wanted to tell her before when they were walking torward the village. He had so many chances, but the way things were going he did not want to see her smile turn into a frown. Especially when things seemed so peaceful. It didn't matter now though, Rin knew what was going on.
Rin looked at him in disbelief, her eyes widened and another gasp escaped her mouth. Her biggest fear was coming to life, he was sending her away. "Why, why Lord Sesshomaru?" she said, not realizing just how high her voice was becoming. Why was he doing this to her? What did she do that was so wrong that it caused her to be sent away, be sent away to live in a village, to be sent away from him.
"All will be explained soon dear child," Kaede said as she took a few steps torward the pair "now just follow his orders and come along," she extended her hand out again. She knew that it was better for her to tell the girl.
Though, this time instead of recieving a look of confusion, Rin gave Kaede a look of fear. To Rin it was as though the woman wasn't even a woman at all, but death itself coming to take her from the world again. For that is exactly what Rin saw Sesshomaru as, her whole world.
"No," Rin shouted back, which even surprised Sesshomaru. He wasn't sure exactly how hard she was going to take it, though he never expected for her to disobey his order for her to go with Kaede. "No, no, no, I won't!" she shouted then turned to Sesshomaru. "Lord Sesshomaru," she cried out as she went straight to his hakama and buried her face into the material. She knew that holding onto his wardrobe was the farthest limit she could reach to having any contact with him.
He looked down feeling her pull lightly on the bottom part of his clothing. He could tell by how white her fists were becoming that she was holding on tight. It was as though to her he would dissapear on her if she were to let go. He could hear her heavy breathing, and had to end it already before it got any harder for the both of them.
"Release me Rin, go with her," he said, this time more stern like. Yet even though he did not persuade her actions from going any further, he did not push her away neither.
Rin couldn't believe what was happening. After everything she and her Lord have been through she never expected for a point to come where they would part ways. She refused to believe it, when she closed her eyes against his hakama she hoped to wake up to Jaken snoring beside her along with her graceful master leaning against a tree. That was normally how the three spent their time of resting. She always liked to think that he was watching over her, that the reason he did not close hie eyes and rest was becasue he was looking out for her safety.
"Lord Sesshomaru did I..."
" You have done nothing wrong," he said, interupted her sentence. Him knowing fully well that she was bound to ask that question sooner or later. " Then why my Lord? Please tell me," she asked, her eyes holding so much hurt he knew it was only a matter of time before he would be smelling the salt of her tears.
"The priestess will explain," he looked to Kaede who held a look of surprise. It seemed even he intended for her to explain things, not that she didn't mind. Yet somehow she felt like her having to console the poor girl was punishment for starting it all. She didn't mind it to much though, if only Rin would start walking torwards her already.
"I want to stay with you my Lord," she said, as she buring her face in his hakama again. Her voice already showing she was on the verge of tears and Sesshomaru had a hard time dealing with it. If Jaken were here he would be pestering the girl to let him go, and just accept what her master has decided. Jaken was not here though, and Sesshomaru knew he had to settle this himself already, no matter how difficult it would be for him to have to raise his voice at her.
"Please my lord," he heard her plea, but he would not give in. No matter how much he wanted to just grab her and fly away from the village, he knew that it was for the best. He came to terms with that the night he and the priestess spoke, it was what was best for Rin. Though Sesshomaru didn't want to admit to having any weaknesses, the girl definintly fell into that category. He would not put her in danger no longer, she would be safer in the village, maybe even happier.
"That's enough Rin, your are to resign in this village from here on, now for the last time let go," his commanding voice ringing through her ears. She knew then that it was hopeless to try and persuade him otherwise. She chocked back a sob and let go of his clothing, this time it was she that could not bear to look at him.
He throat was achy and dry, and her eyes were burning along with her whole body. She was so angry, but not near as she was devastated. She lost her whole family to murderous bandits, after that she thought she would never be able to talk much less be happy again.
That was all behind her now, and she had learned to cope with the nightmares and lose of her parents. There beside her stood the being that brought the smile back to her face, the laughter back to her voice, the happiness back to her soul. Yet here he was basicallly telling her goodbye.
This creature that had saved her life in more ways then one, was the most important person in her life. He, and Jaken, and Au-Un had become her new loved ones. Even after she felt like that was something she lost forever. She always thought that was how it was gonna be. When she made wishes on shooting stars, the wishes did not consist of wealth, a home, not even being with her family in the afterlife.
No, her wishes consisted of staying by her Lord Sesshomaru's side forever, and she even wished to be by his side even after death. Even after death she wished for him and her to be together forever. Her heart skipped a beat at her thoughts.
"Lord Sesshomaru," she started out. She stared at him though could not find the right words she had wanted to say, so she only said the ones she knew he wanted to hear. "Farewell my lord," it all came out barely above a whisper. He did not look down at her for he knew the emotions that would be involved, he could only nod his head in a quick motion indicating that he heard her.
Neither of them could look at one another, it was as though the image of the other's face alone was enough to break them inside. Suddenly they both looked up at the sound of Kaede's footsteps come closer to them, and she looked at Rin again motioning for her to follow along.
Rin did not back away this time, nor did she knod in agreement. She simple walked over to the priestess until she was only a few inches away, her head still looking down. Kaede put her hand on the upper part of Rin's back, as she gently guided her to the village. Once they started walking Sesshomaru took it as his time to leave. He stared back at Rin, and only hoped she didn't hate him for this. He closed his eyes, and turned around as he began walking away.
"Will I ever see him again?" Rin asked when she thought if turning around and seeing him one last time was truely going to be her last time. The question caused Kaede to hold a sad expression on her face, sympathy for the already broken girl. She already suffered enough, she didn't need to know how this may be her and Sesshomaru's last meeting. "Nea child I cannot say for sure, but it is best that yae and he do not meet for a while".
Rin paused in her steps when she heard her answer, and it was the very same answer she feared. She was not going to see her Lord for a very long time, maybe even never again. She already felt it, a tear had just slipped as the thought hit her again of never going to see her beautiful Lord Sesshomaru again. She could't help but turn around this time.
She saw him walking away and she wanted to spill out her feelings to him right then and there so bad. To tell him just how happy he made her, tell him just how much he meant to her, how much she wanted to be with him forever. How much she needed him, cared for him.
How much she loved him.
It was then that it seemed all her momories with him flashes before her eyes.
The meeting, the quest for Naraku, the abductions, the rescuing, the many times she had to wait patiently for her Lord to return to her. Which he alway always did, but now everything they once had was over and she couldn't take it.
Something in her broke that moment, for before she knew it she was running in his direction not even hearing Kaede's protest. "Lord Sesshomaru!" she cried, though Sesshomaru tried not to hear her as she ran to him. Why did she have to make things harder, he thought. He was about to take flight when he felt something grab his right hand and pull slightly.
He didn't have to turn around to know what she was doing, he could feel the proof of her actions on his hand. Rin was crying.
Rin held onto her Lord's hand, and at that point she realized what she really was doing but she didn't care. From the moment he told her to go with Kaede, she had wanted to cry. So, she decided to take comfort in the only contact she had with him at that moment. She felt him turn to his side but she didn't look at him, she could't. All she could do was bury her cheek and teary eyes against the palm of his right hand.
The same hand that swatted the food she had offered him when they first meet. Held her up when he brought her back from death, or protected her whenever she was in danger. The same hand that comforted her the day she woke up from death once again, only to find her master looking down to her.
Now here they were with his hand in the exact same location on her face, and Rin put both her smaller hands on top of his. She did nothing but hold his palm to her cheek and cried her pain away. She might as well be dying again, she thought.
One would think his hand would be callous from wielding a sword so much, but on the contrary they were very warm, soft, and smooth. she rubbed her cheek against that smooth hand lovingly, wishing she could never let it go, never let him go.
She chocked back a few sobs as she thought of not seeing Jaken nor Au-Un anymore, suddenly realizing it all made scense why they were behaving differently. She also realized the reason for the day's events, he knew that she would not be leaving back with him.
"He wanted time with...he did that for me, he wanted to be alone...just him and me...," she though. Suddenly she felt like some great confession had just been released fully from her heart and, she knew what it meant. She wasn't sure entirely how love worked, but all she knew was that she held love for this demon before her, she loved him.
She cried more when he confession was released, but released only in her mind for she feared telling him would only make his leave all the more sooner. She loved him though, loved him with all her heart, more then anything else in the world.
Impulse suddenly took over, and before she knew it her lips made contact with the center of his palm. Sesshomaru looked at her for the first time since she grasped his hand. It was a slow yet soft butterfly kiss she gave his palm, but Sesshomaru still looked at her in shock.
The only contact he ever got his whole life was that of harm. Many feared him too much to ever get to close to him, others simply hated him so they attacked. Those that held neither of those emotions were just as cold as he was. Such cold people being his own mother and father, both who only held him once since birth. Even then he didn't know for sure, he didn't remember.
Yet here was this child, this human child giving him the most affectionant contact he had ever felt. She brought her lips to the hand that shed so much blood in the past it might as well be tainted red.
He hid his eyes, not wanting her to see him in such a surprised state, so he simply looked down. When Rin saw that she automatically apoligized for her stupidity. She overstepped her boundaries and she immediatly let go of his hand.
She stepped back, and was about to just cry in the small comfort of her own hands before she felt something on her cheek. She looked up, and what she felt sent color to her cheeks, and relief to spirit.
Sesshomaru had put his hand back on her cheek, and was looking down at her with those soft eyes again, the eyes meant only for her.
All she could do was look up at him. Completely awe struck that he had been the one to put his hand back on her cheek, and before she knew it some silent tears were falling again.
He did not know what drove him to put his hand back on her cheek. Then again, he did not know why he did it back when she awoke at his family castle. He did not know why he always wanted to protect her, or make sure her health was in good condition. He did not know why the sound of her scream led him to the direction she was in, or why he allowed her to follow him all this time. He didn't even know why he saved her in the first place. Was it really a test, or maybe, he thought. Was it that happy smile. The smile he wanted to see right now, but only got a face full of tears and saddness.
At that moment he just didn't care anymore. He didn't care if what he was doing was considered to affectionate, or that the old woman was probably watching him. He didn't care if she thought that maybe he wasn't so bad. He didn't care if he had to break his pride just a bit, just to make the girl stop crying. He simply didn't care anymore, maybe that is what drove him to touch her cheek the first time. Despit Jaken, Kohaku, and even his own mother's presence being there. All he knew now is that he was tired of Rin crying, and he had to make it stop somehow.
He used the pad of his thumb to wipe away each tear, careful of his claws. His actions only left Rin surprised. To her this was his way of showing his affections. Not by mere words, but actions, and Rin knew that which only made more tears come out.
"Don't cry," he said softly in the way she knew all to well. She held his hand to her face while rubbing her cheek against his palm. Instead of crying this time, she just smiled into his hand and knodded. He felt her lips on his palm again, but it was no kiss. Edleast it was not like before, he was sure her mouth was simply on his palm.
Then again he really did not know the difference. He had never seen the act of kissing happen besides around humans. So, he concluded it must be a weak human trait, and he would have nothing to do with it. Though, throughout his life a few female demons had given him the chance to try it, but he had to learn to trust no one. For all he knew it could all be a trap.
Still, whatever Rin was doing only brought color to his face, and he had to look down again. His bangs, yet agian shielding his eyes . If it had been a happier moment Rin would of giggled at her Lord's shyness, but a certain voice only brought her back to the reality that it wasn't.
Kaede watched the whole scene in front of her, and had no idea the girl was gonna break down the way she did. Kaede was sure even her own eyes became a bit watery at the image of Rin crying into Sesshomaru's hand. It was when she kissed his hand that the old woman knew just how much that angelic demon meant to the innocent girl.
Though what surprises her the most was that Sesshomaru was going fully along with it. He even went so far as to brush away the child's tears and even calming her down some. Seeing the pair share their last moment together made Kaede almost rethink the whole situation, but she knew she had to keep the plan going for Rin's sake. She decided then that it was time to end it, and call out to to the girl.
When Rin heard, she turned her head and saw Kaede giving her the look and cue that it was time to leave. Rin felt tears about to form again, though she forced them back. Knowing full well she had shed enough of them for tonight, all the proof in Sesshomaru's soaked hand.
After looking to Kaede, she turned her head back to Sesshomaru's hand which she still held in her smaller ones. She brought his knuckles to her face and nuzzled them, knowing that the kissing his hand actions were over as well. Just this one last contact with him, she thought. After his knuckles, she put his palm to her face again completely in control of his hand. While holding his palm to her cheek she looked up at him, and he in turn looked down at her.
The moon hung just above his head, which made his whole appearence glow and seem so supernatural, Rin took in every one of his facial features. She wanted to remember every last detail of his face. From his magenta stripes on his cheeks, the sunset golden eyes, the blue tint silver hair that looked as though it were spung from silk. Finally of course his blue cresent moon revealed mysteriously on his forehead. Rin wanted to remember it all, remember all of him.
"Will I ever see you again my Lord?" hoping to get a different answer then Kaede's.
"Not anytime soon, though I leave that answer up to you," he said back, his full thoughts on the situation brought out. Rin wasn't sure what he mean't. What kind of an answer was that? She was exptecting a yes or no, but hoping for a yes. She wasn't sure what she got, or if she even got an answer at all.
"My lord I don't...".
" Rin," he said suddenly, as his hand that was on her face clutched lightly to her scalp. He would never be so weak as to shed tears, but he would be lying if he were to say this was easy. What he was about to say was the most difficult thing he had ever told anyone.
"Rin," he said again, almost whispering her name to himself. She looked to him waiting for him to speak.
"Farwell ," he whispered, and he started glowing and transforming into a ball of light.
Rin started panicing as she clutched tightly to the hand at her cheek, only for it to dissapear into the light as well. Her Lord sored away at that moment. Heading in the direction they came in, and all Rin could do was watch as she demon she loved so, left before her eyes. She would not cry, she thought, edleast no more that night. She stood with her head held up high, and she walked over to Kaede who led the way to the village and her hut.
Kaede was fully aware that Rin had the desicion to make in the future. Although thought it best not tell the girl, or she would certainly keep a one tracked mind to simply go back with Sesshomaru. Kaede knew it was up to her to give this girl the option, and let her see she has many ways to be happy besides being with the dog demon. And when the time comes, and Rin found life with him to be better then amongst her own kind, then who was Kaede to stop her.
Rin took one last look to the sky and saw the moon still hung high within the stars, it's shape somehow resembling her Lord's mark. Suddenly she spotted her shadow again, right beside her. This was definintly a day she would never forget.
"Come along Rin," Kaede said to the girl who was following quietly after her new companion.
Somewhere off in the distance, hidden beneath the dark shadows of the forest. An ominous figure looked down to the village, and was satisfied that the girl was following the priestess willingly to the hut.
"It was over," he thought, and Sesshomaru stepped out from the forest and began walking in the direction back to Jaken. He may not of left the whole ordeal with Rin at his side, though he was very sure she didn't hate him after what happened. So, it was enough.
"She'll be safe here," he heard from the trees above, he already knew who it was he just would of rathered not deal with him at the moment.
Sesshomaru sensed Inuyasha sitting in a tree branch above him, and he simply ignored the monkey's comment by giving him a slight "Hmm," then continued walking. Inuyasha leaped down and landed on the ground behind him.
"Huh, don't go giving me attitude, and besides even you must know that there is a good chance you and her will cross paths again," Inuyasha said, feeling somewhat sympathetc for him. He knew what his jackass of a brother was going through.
"You mean such as your priestess and youself," Sesshomaru said coldly. Inuyasha gave him a sharp glare back and thought that he didn't have to go there.
"Bastard," he said blankly. "Fine then, if Kagome ever returns don't come crying to me when Rin doesn't.
What exactly was this half breed trying to say, Sesshomaru thought. "Are you impliying that if your wench were to ever return to you, then someday Rin...," he stopped himself, cursing that he actually studdered in front of his childish brother.
Inuyasha was a bit surprised as well, but he ignored it. "I don't know what the future hold's for me and Kagome, just as you don't know with you and Rin," he said soflty.
Sesshomaru was starting to wonder where Inuyasha all of a sudden got the wise tone of voice from. He had sure calmed his anger and stupidity down since the defeat of Naraku, Sesshomaru thought.
"All I know is that Kagome is safe and loved where she is, and right now it's best that she is over there," he said as his eyes looked torward the night sky.
Sesshomaru looked to it as well, thinking that what Inuyasha just said sounded like an all to familiar thought even he had in his head. It was one of the rare moments the two bickering brothers shared since Naraku's death.
They knew they could be civial at times, and atleast they were no longer trying to kill each other. Although, killing didn't necessarily mean fighting.
Sesshomaru thought about the statement he made over his brother's priestess the day Inuyasha had come to him over Kaede's request. "If the girl had any real feelings for his brother she would return," his thoughts led to Rin.
Who knows, he thought. Maybe if that priestess really did return to Inuyasha, there would be a good chance Rin would want to one day. He let his thoughts wander again.
Sesshomaru closed his eyes, he did not want to get ahead of himself then end up looking like a fool in the end if things didn't turn out the way he thought.
He opened his eyes only to behold his shadown once again. It was as though it just came back to haunt him of of his previous meeting with the black figure ealier that day when... when Rin's own black figure was by his. He remembered what he thought at that time. The idea that kept his mind at ease then and made him calm even now.
He turned to leave as Inuyasha watched him go.
"Leaving the young girl really did get to him," he thought. He watched as his elder brother left, then he himself started walking off to the direction of a certain well with a certain girl on his mind.
Sesshomaru kept walking along the path leading back to Jaken, and knew that there would be no sleeping girl to wake up and smile at him. However long it would be before visions of Rin would stop showing up in his mind, he did not know.
One thing he did know was that if Rin did decide to go back with him one day, if she did make the future desicion to be by his side once again. Then he knew for a fact that he would not be able to bring himself to show off such weak emotions again as he did that night.
He would not be able to tell her farewell a second time. If she was to be by his side again in the future then he would see to it that it no one would ever persuade him to let her go again. If her leaving left him feeling so weak, then he never wanted it feel it again. It was all up to her now on what happens between them.
He knew he could never say it to her again, he barely said it a first time and it only left him with an unpleasant taste in his mouth.
Sesshomaru knew that what he said that day to Rin, would from then on be his first and final farewell.
I hope you all enjoyed that. It was my first fanfic and I would appreciate any comments given. Thanks!