Tonks stood before her mirror studying her pale skin and her puffy eyes with the purple bags underneath. Her mousy hair stuck up in all directions. She didn't look well, not at all.

She hadn't looked at all well or happy since he left. She still couldn't understand fully why he had gone. She thought they had been so happy, with their marriage, and a child coming. She unconsciously placed a hand over her stomach where a small, solid bulge grew slowly.

She looked into the mirror, seeing her drawn and tired face staring back.

But it wasn't her face she longed to see. She sighed, this will do you no good, Tonks, She told herself, It will just make it hurt more.

Ignoring herself and concentrating more than she ever had when changing, she studied her reflection intensely.

Her eyes became ever so slightly smaller and narrow. The irises lightened to a silvery blue colour. Her nose became larger, less petite. Her lips thinned, becoming more chapped and dry, hair sprouted from her skin forming a stubbly beard and moustache. Her skin darkened slightly, scars breaking out all over. Her hair remained mousy brown, but shot back into her skull, shortening and thing, parted to the side. Her ears lengthened and stuck out from her skull more. Her eyes brows thickened and creases scarred her brow.

Her heart lurched painfully at she looked at her mirror, and he looked back. It wasn't the same, of course. She knew it wasn't exactly like him. His smile was different than this, his eyes always sparkled with something more.

Remus Lupin's face tried to smile in the mirror but he didn't look like himself. She could do him no justice. She fought with all her might from touching her face, to trace his features. A single tear fell from his eye; Tonks felt it roll down her cheek. She felt her chest ache as she looked, unable to drag her eyes away. A hard lump chocked her throat, her tears threatening to fall.

She was stronger than this, she never used to cry, and she never used to be so weak. Before she had met him. Before she had fallen in love with the man that was scared to love her. She glanced down at the humble ring on her left hand. A smile traced her lips slightly. But the pain increased.

Oh god, Tonks, how have you stooped this low?

Tonks turned from her mirror, collapsing onto her bed, feeling her scalp tingle as her hair and face returned to normal. She buried her face into a pillow, breathing in then freezing as his scent filled her. She sighed and gave in to herself, letting her tears fall and sobs rake her body until darkness took over her.

Might continue with Remus' return to her. If i don't upload it as a separate...

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