Disclaimer: I do not own FMA.

Spirits were high that day throughout the country as Amestris celebrated one of the holidays it was most fond of: St. Patrick's Day. It was a day to get drunk on beer with green food coloring and party through the city streets without fear of who might see you and how you act.

While the military was still expected to go to work in headquarters, there really wasn't any work to be done. Preparations for the day had been going on for about a week, with even Colonel Mustang getting all of his paperwork done ahead of schedule so that he could enjoy the festivities. Now the buildings were full of soldiers forgoing military regulations by wearing casual green clothes and getting drunk on the job. Already there had been alchemic and artillery accidents caused by rowdy soldiers drunk off of their asses, but nobody seemed to care.

Even the Colonel Bastard's office was partying, Lieutenant Hawkeye just as drunk as everybody else and shooting at the ceiling in her excitement.

Just then, Edward Elric entered the office clad completely in green (he had learned his lesson last St. Patrick's Day, that getting pinched by hundreds of soldiers in one day was not an enjoyable experience (some even tried using swords on him!)), staring wide-eyed at the scene before him. His colleagues immediately stopped upon his entrance, gazing at him with oddly blank expressions.

Ed was very unnerved by how quiet the place had suddenly become.

Finally, the silence was broken . . .

"Leprechaun!" Roy announced, jabbing a finger in the Fullmetal Alchemist's direction.

Poor Edward blinked in bewilderment, not even thinking to rant about how he is not short, as he watched as the office started smiling in a manner that freaked him out, a creepy glint to their eyes.

"Catch the leprechaun and get him to spill the gold!" Fuery shouted, and the others followed his lead, charging Ed.

With a startled shout, Edward leapt a foot into the air and started bolting away, the entire office after him, declaring in their mad passage through the halls that Edward was a leprechaun that they were going to beat the gold out of. Soon other soldiers were following in the pursuit of a traumatized short alchemist.

"I'm telling you I don't have any gold!" Shouted Edward futilely as he ran, his declaration ignored.

"He lies! He hides it in his eyes!" Riza exclaimed.

"Of course! How could we have missed it? Cunning leprechauns!" Roy agreed, the other rambunctious chasers whooping about the statement.

Needless to say, the Fullmetal Alchemist, now having to worry about his eyes being gouged out also, put in even more effort and managed to escape, where he hid the rest of the day inside the suit of armor that his brother's soul was bound to.

Alphonse was very confused, wondering what could have reduced his fearless older brother into a trembling mess, staring wide-eyed into space and mumbling incoherently about golden eyes.

Every St. Patrick's Day after that Alphonse found he had to take his brother to counseling. It seemed Colonel Mustang, Lieutenant Hawkeye, and the others that had partaken in the quest to claim Edward's stash of treasure hidden in his eyes didn't even remember the incident; they had been so out of it. Alphonse later discovered the terror Edward had gone through the first St. Patrick's Day he experienced after regaining his body. No reparations for the mental and physical harm the boys had gone through, nor the costs for their counseling sessions, were ever made.